Takes

Shiba Inu cryptocurrency will eventually go back up

I get them to get back on the Shiba Inu train, man. I mean, it's last summer. I think he got some hype earlier this year, but it's always going to come back up. Stocking crypto only goes up as we all know, you're gonna, you're gonna make a lot of money.

Tipping a doorman for just doing their job is a high-level power move

What a great power move is too. If you're out with friends, if you have cash on you, you can always like, you can tip someone. That's not usually tipped right in front of other people. And then they're like, wow, that's a, that's a great move. What a class act? What about city money? Yeah, exactly. Like you tip, you tip a doorman just for doing their job.

The person who wakes up earliest should sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door

The answer should always be that the person that has to wake up first in the morning, they sleep closer to the door. So you don't have to like walk around the other person.

You are not allowed to switch which side of the bed you sleep on unless you move to a new house

I also think you can't switch until you move. Like you can't switch in the house that you've been sleeping. If you have a side that you've been sleeping on, the opportunity to switch is when you move, correct. You cannot switch like just one day switch. That's crazy.

The Boston Celtics are dead

The Boston Celtics are dead.

The New York Rangers are playing unsustainable hockey and got lucky against Pittsburgh

Rangers fans were losing it because I was like, yes, this team has had success all year, but fuck, do they give up a lot of high, dangerous scoring chances and rely on their goaltending. I think that they're going to get worked in playoffs... believe me when I say they got so lucky that Jarry got hurt and they had to play a three third string goalie, they got [worked].

The Celtics are the better team and will win the series if they execute

If [the Celtics] just have to execute and play their game, they're going to win the series. But I'm just worried... it feels like they are the better team similar to honestly the Heat series where it's like, they're the better team. So it almost makes it worse when games are close and they lose games.

Game 3 is a must-win for the Celtics

I feel like the Celtics have to win this game [Game 3]. If they lose this game, I think they're done.

The Celtics-Warriors NBA Finals series is going to go seven games

I'm not going to actually say [the Celtics] are dead. I think that the Celtics can and should win the next game at home. I still think it's going to go seven.

The NBA clearly has an agenda to extend the Finals series

The NBA clearly has an agenda, like fact or fiction. And the NBA would like this series to go more games than four... having the Warriors win tonight guarantees it goes more than five.

A long series favors the Warriors because of their veteran experience and depth

The longer the series goes, the better off the warriors are. They obviously had the experience and they have the rest.

The Celtics' physical defense will drain the Warriors' will the longer the series goes

I don't know if I agree. I think the Celtics, the way they play defense and the style that they play... the longer it goes, the more gas they take out of the opponent. They kind of suck the will out of the opponent because they play such a tough defense.

Cale Makar is as good as Paul Coffey and approaching Bobby Orr status

[Makar] is the greatest defenseman we've seen since Paul Coffey's probably as good as Paul Coffey. If he keeps going on this trajectory easily, right. Maybe right below Bobby Orr could eventually become like a Bobby Orr type. He is a freak. He's a Connor McDavid of defense.

The Waterdogs are a disgrace and the worst team in the PLL

PLL Waterdogs. Fucking suck. That team is disgrace... Real quick reminder, Waterdogs are the worst team. When you think it can't go any lower wait until you see the Waterdogs.

Bronny James is already the #1 prospect on my draft board

Bronny [James], I see him. He's going to be an NBA superstar... We have a draft board and he's already number one.

Bronny James is going to be a better NBA player than LeBron James

I think [Bronny James] is going to be better than his dad.

Professional darts is a better spectator sport than Lacrosse

[Darts] might be ahead of lacrosse as the sport of the future. ... I don't think there's any event that's happened that this usher has seen 54 people come in at one time... It exceeded my expectations. Like it was, it was a great time. It was a good viewing experience.

Calling Steve Kerr overrated is the craziest take possible

It seems like there might be some, a group of people that think Steve Kerr's overrated, which is maybe the craziest take. That's one of those ones where it's like, we've all just we've exhausted every avenue of debate that we're now talking about Steve Kerr, who has, I think he has eight, eight rings total.

Max Homa is a top 10 or 20 favorite to win the 2022 U.S. Open

Max [Homa] is legitimately good. He's probably, he's gotta be like top 10, top 20 favorites to win the us open.

Nadal winning mostly on clay makes him a Mickey Mouse champion

It's Mickey Mouse to have to only win on one surface. Well, I think he also won the Australian, right? ... 14 of his 22 are at Roland Garros.

The world will end before Dan Snyder sells the Commanders

The fucking world ends before Dan Snyder sells the team. I'm going to, I'm going to take myself out back here.

The Avalanche will easily advance to the Stanley Cup Finals

Yeah, I would say the Colorado is going to easily advance... [Edmonton is] basically kind of without [Draisaitl]. And also now Kane just got a one game suspension... I think they're going to Colorado is going to advance.

Evander Kane should have been suspended for the remainder of the series for his hit on Nazem Kadri

My opinion on it, because [Nazem] Kadri is out the rest of the series, [Evander] Kane should be out the rest of the series. ... It was a dirty play, whether it was by accident or not.

If the Rangers win the Stanley Cup this year, they are poised to win a second one in the near future

If [the Rangers] win one, they might get fucking two in this next stretch. And they're going to be fucking bending me over. No spit, no lube, sandpaper finish.

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

I think Colorado takes it. ... The premier Southern organization lifts [the Cup].

Cale Makar is the Connor McDavid of defensemen

He is a freak. He's a Connor McDavid of defense. It's just like, he's just so fucking good. He's so well-conditioned. He always makes the right play. He's sick on offense. He's basically a forward, but he never gets caught up the ice. He is fucking incredible.

The Waterdogs need to consider a coaching change following their 0-1 start to the PLL season

At what point do we have to start looking at a coaching change here? Because this is two years in a row that we've gotten off to a slow start. I'm certainly not going to take any blame for it.

Wisconsin is the capital of high-level dart players

I bet you we could find there's probably some like insane dart players, untapped resources. Like you go to a fucking hole in the wall bar in the Midwest guys were playing darts all day. I feel like Wisconsin is ground zero [for the best players].

The Warriors' lack of adjustment against Peyton Pritchard in the 4th quarter was a massive mistake

I don't understand what the warriors were doing where like Peyton Pritchard was on Steph Curry because Marcus smart was on the bench and they didn't attack Peyton Pritchard the entire fourth quarter. It was crazy. Like they just didn't, they, I don't know why they didn't attack him.

The Golden State Warriors might be done after losing Game 1 to the Celtics

I actually believe that... the rest, you know, they're done. Yeah. They might be done. I think they might be done when they're done. I think they might be done. I really do think the way they lost this and the fact that the Celtics, like I know that they're their shot-making... what the Celtics can rely on and what they do better than anyone else is, they locked down on defense.

Draymond Green's offensive game has completely disappeared compared to the 2016 era

Has there been a solid offensive player that has gone downhill as much as Draymond Green? ... Back in 2015, 2016, he was a good third option for the Warriors. ... Now it just looks like he's allergic to the ball.

The Warriors are dead

I think right now it's too early to do the thing that we all want to do, which we kind of like, we dipped our toe in earlier and said the warriors are dead. Fuck it. I'm just going to say it after game one, the warriors are dead.

Aaron Rodgers is absolutely miserable to be around

I did have multiple tweets from unbiased people saying that Aaron Rodgers is absolutely miserable to be around because he, he was the least talking above the group. He was surly. He was Aaron Rodgers... Aaron Rodgers is just, he just went for a paycheck, fucking shark.

Everyone should hate their fantasy sports commissioner

I contend like everyone should hate their commissioner. That's the role of the commissioner. So I think that like Mike trout, if he's the commissioner he had to know this day was coming, that he was gonna get shit on for not running a tighter ship.

Grant Williams is the key X-factor for the Celtics if the Warriors go small

I would say the two people... I mentioned Grant Williams, I think Grant Williams... he's going to be key because the Warriors just force everyone to play small... If he plays well, like he did in the Milwaukee series where he hit eight threes, 93, whatever it was, then, you know, Boston's going to be a problem.

Brad Stevens moved to the front office because he knew the Celtics needed a different voice to reach the next level

I want somebody that I believe can take these guys to the next level. ... It doesn't mean that Brad couldn't win a championship as an NBA head coach. ... It just means that this, he just wanted to be in a, in a different space. So he, but he's still there in a day to day.

Milwaukee would have won the East and reached the Finals if Khris Middleton was healthy

I think that Milwaukee was the best team this year. If they would have had Middleton, they'd be in final right now.

If Steph Curry wins Finals MVP, he is a better basketball player than LeBron James

If Steph Curry wins an NBA finals MVP this year, I'm ready to be the first person to [say] that he's better than LeBron James purely at basketball.

The Warriors will win the NBA Finals in 7 games with an overtime finale

I'm going to [say] warriors in seven in an overtime game seven. Wow.

The NBA Finals will be a 7-game series between the Warriors and Celtics

I said warriors in seven on Tuesday and I've like, ever since that moment, I've just everything that's gone in. My head has been like, I think the seltzers are going to win, but I'm going to stay. I'm sticking with warriors.

Scousers never tap out in a fight

Bitches. Scousers don't tap... I'm like a fucking salmon going upstream. [I blacked out] and I look up [at] me coach and I staff coming rounds. And I go, I didn't get the top. I didn't stop. I didn't stop. I promise you it didn't stop.

I will transition from MMA to professional boxing after my UFC career

And I was just saying today on the bay when I move over to box and after I finish MMA... A hundred percent. Yeah. I've just always had it in me. I would always come back... if I ever have [achieved what I can in MMA], I'm ready for boxing.

Sneezing in public is one of the most taboo and awkward things you can do

Sneezing in public has gotta be like the most awkward... oh it's so taboo now. And it always was taboo with it's really when you're driving, I think it's super dangerous... But there's nothing you can do. Like you can try to hold it in. But when you have allergies... there's nothing.

Clay Travis is a loser for bragging about getting kicked out of his son's Little League game

I don't care who these boys' daddies are... He just sat and bragged about getting kicked out of a little league game and thought that everyone would be like, 'Oh my God, you're right, that umpire sucks.' This is just as basic as it gets. You just sat and bragged about getting kicked out of a little league game.

The Celtics are a tough matchup for the Warriors in the NBA Finals

The Celtics who I think we all can agree were the better team in this series [vs Heat]... I think that going into this fight, I feel like the Celtics are pretty tough matchup for the warriors.

Jimmy Butler took the right shot at the end of Game 7

I saw some people being like, that's a bad shot. It's like, dude one, it it's wide open. You know, it's a wide open shot... I want him taking that shot. I have no pro—like I would like to go down swinging like that. If you're a heat fan being like Jimmy Butler, taking that shot, who cares about, you know, whether he's a good three point shooter or not, he just, I want him taking that shot.

There should be a 'Most Valuable Loser' award for the best player on the losing team in each playoff series

There should be like a most valuable loser of each [series] because like, I think it's something that needs to be really awarded, but I want to see how the players react to being handed that trophy and the different ways that they discard the trophy immediately.

The Heat would have won the series in 5 or 6 games if Jimmy Butler had any help

He's the only reason the series got to seven. He got drill help—if he got any help, the heat win the series in five or six.

Kyle Lowry is the absolute worst and most annoying player to watch in the NBA

I'm so happy I don't have to watch Kyle Lowry play anymore. That guy is like, he's the worst. He is literally the worst... I swear if Kyle Lowry spent like maybe even half as much time complaining, he would be double the player. He just complains about every single possession, no matter what.

If I eat vegan for a month, soy will give me tits

Do you think there's a chance that the soil will make your hands even softer? No. They're going to give me tits. Like you— [inaudible].