Takes

Draymond Green is the new Ben Simmons

[Draymond Green] is Ben Simmons... Steve Kerr deserves a ton of credit... for having the balls to pull Draymond out of the fourth quarter. Draymond Green does not want to shoot. He is Ben Simmons at this point where it's like, he could have a completely open look going towards the basket and he will pass it up.

Robert Williams is the most impactful player on the court for the Celtics

When Robert Williams [is out there], he's the most impactful player on the court. As many blocks as he has, he probably has so many more that just because his presence is there, [opponents] don't even try and take shots. He brings the energy for the Celtics.

The Celtics are still the better team than the Warriors

Hank's going to get mad at this comment, but I still think the Celtics are the better team. I mean, if you were looking for a bet after a loss, they've been undefeated this whole playoffs.

Steph Curry deserves the Finals MVP even if the Warriors lose

Our man Perk [Kendrick Perkins], carry the hell on, he said no matter what, win or lose, Steph Curry deserves this MVP. I'd be willing to trade in Billy not being vegan just for the ensuing takes that would come with Steph Curry winning the MVP and losing.

If Steph Curry wins MVP and loses the Finals, I will go on a carnivore-only diet

If Steph Curry wins, I'm going carnivore diet only... only meat, only.

The Celtics plus three and a half is a good bet for Game 5

I do think the Celtics plus three and a half is a good bet on Monday night. It looks stupid... but if you were looking for a bet after a loss, they've been undefeated this whole playoffs. You'd expect them to win on Monday.

I want to bet on the Lightning to win the Stanley Cup despite being underdogs

The Lightning... I think I kind of want to bet on the Lightning to win this series. They just don't lose. Everything says that the Avalanche are the best team in the NHL, but then it tells me like, guess what? The Avalanche—maybe I'll wait till the Avalanche win the first two games... then the Lightning are like, 'all right, now we're going to start playing.'

LIV Golf is the tour for people who are in debt or recently divorced

Somebody pointed out... they said that it was the tour for people who were either heavily in debt or recently divorced. And that's exactly right. Like if you need to make alimony payments, you're going to the fucking LIV. You're going to take the money and run.

The US Open will be incredible because the LIV players will be shunned

I'm telling you, this US Open is going to be incredible. And they're only going to play because they can't play in the PGA Tour events. They're only going to play in the majors, which is kind of what we cared about. How awesome would that be if it's like Phil and Rory dueling it out?

Tennessee Baseball are clowns for missing the College World Series

I don't think... it's a fine line between being a bad boy and being a clown. I think if you don't actually make it [to Omaha], then you're a clown. Yeah.

I am rooting for whatever XFL team Greg Williams is coaching

I don't know what the XFL is going to do... but frankly, I don't care because I think I'm just going to root for whatever team [Greg Williams] is coaching. If you think that he was dialing up the heat in the NFL, wait till he gets to the extreme football league.

Lacrosse goals should get bigger as the game goes along

I think the goal should get bigger as the game goes along. First quarter, it's the regular size and they get bigger and bigger and bigger. So in the fourth quarter you have like chaos where it's like the scoring picks up and everyone's like, 'holy shit.'

Bill Belichick would win a PLL title within three seasons if he coached

I feel like [Bill Belichick] would win in the first three seasons of coaching [in the PLL], if not sooner. I mean, I don't think he really coaches football. He just coaches human beings... I think he understands the nuance of sports and blueprint of winning better than anyone... you listen to Bill Belichick coach you on lacrosse and you're bought in.

The PLL will be a top six sport in North America within five years

The PLL will be a top six sport in North America. There's just so many... it's competitive now. I used to say like, we're always talking to the big four, but it'll be the top six... Someone's got to go. We're probably seven or eight [currently].

A video game is key to opening up the PLL to a wider audience

An awesome video game... if you could get a video game that is very fun to play and the gameplay is great, that is such a key to opening up so many [new fans]. When you were a kid, you loved the sport [because] you played the video game.

Late-night TV news commercials for products like CarShield are frauds

When I see them up there, those products are fraud... I mean, they wouldn't be advertising there if they weren't a fraud. I have an occasional check with the FTC site and the Better Business Bureau to see various of these companies have all sorts of consumer complaints against them. And what a shock!

If a commercial starts by saying 'this is not a scam,' it's probably a scam

When they started with the reverse mortgages... the ad started with a sentence: 'This is not a scam.' I mean, that was the furthest thing from my mind until he put it in my head that this might be a scam. Why are they saying it's legit? It never occurred to me that it's not, but now I'm going to start to investigate it.

The New York Times was desperate for Alex Cooper to say something negative about Barstool Sports

It was obvious to me... that the New York Times was salivating to get [Alex Cooper] to say something that would be damaging to Barstool. And she didn't. They couldn't resist getting [the sidebar about Dave Portnoy] in there.

Dell Curry bringing Steven Johnson's ex-wife to the game was a purely spite-driven move

But then on Friday at the Celtics game, Dell was there with Steven Johnson's ex-wife. And he's dating her. He brought her to the game. So clearly he was... that was just purely out of spite by Dell. Like just straight up, just an absolute spite move.

There will definitely be a Game 6 in the NBA Finals

I do think there will be a game six, unfortunately. Very scared about game four.

The Celtics would have won by now if they didn't constantly throw up stinkers and let down in the third quarter

The Celtics, like what they have gotten better at over the season... they still do it to an extent it happened in the third quarter as they just we'll just let down. And all of a sudden they have terrible runs... they just throw up stinkers. I think that's been, it's been the most, it was like this in Milwaukee series, like this, the Miami series.

The Warriors are impossible to beat if Steph Curry and Klay Thompson both have a night where they're 'on' from start to finish

If those two guys make all their shots, if they get to a night where they're both on, then they're pretty much impossible to beat. It doesn't matter how good the Celtics can play... but they're not going to be able to do that. Like that's not, it's impossible for them to sustain that type of basketball.

I'm convinced the Celtics are simply the better team and the only team that can beat them is themselves

I'm convinced now the Celtics just the better team. The only, the only team that can beat the Celtics is the Celtics. Like they have to beat themselves.

The Warriors need their role players to contribute if they want to win any more games in the Finals

They need their role players. If they're going to win games. It's like Steph, I mean, cause Steph and clay are the only ones that can score, but if they just do them up, like it's, I think they should win.

The Celtics are simply the better team and the Warriors cannot beat them

I have now like game three, show me that the best, the best version of the Celtics, the warriors can not be. I'm being honest. That's just my honest take on it.

I'm actually into watching the LIV Golf tour

I mean, if a fan, like I'm watching it... it's entertaining. I can't, I'm not gonna sit here and say, it's not.

Brooks Koepka is just messing with everyone and won't join LIV

Brooks, he did the eyeballs emojis. It actually was a good test run for us just in case any of our friends do joined the live tour because the part of my take group chat Brooks was fucking with everyone. He's not joining the live tour.

The NFL salary cap isn't actually enforced and the league just sends 'strongly worded letters' to teams over the limit

My theory is that the NFL just said, okay, we're going to make a salary cap... but they don't actually have a guy that's tracking it and enforcing actual penalties... They just send a strongly worded letter saying you are currently $2 million over the salary cap... and then they just never follow up on that.

Jayson Tatum is the safer bet for Finals MVP

I'm going Jayson Tatum folks... I think Jayson Tatum is going to win the MVP because the Celtics are only, I don't want a series of Jayson Tatum has a few more good games and his passing in particular guys has been great... He's just slightly more complete and slightly more important to the Celtic success.

Steph Curry should win Finals MVP even if the Warriors lose the series

I'm hoping that we get a Celtic series win and Steph Curry gets his first finals MVP out of that. That would be the ultimate threading the needle.

If the Celtics win the series 10 times, they win it 8 times

I think the Celtic surge is the only thing that can stop the self is this point of the Celtics, but they have to beat themselves... I would say if you play this series 10 times, the Celtics win it eight times.

Danny Woodhead will eventually play in a US Open

I'll put my money on you someday being in a U.S. Open. I wouldn't, you know, betting against Danny Woodhead in like his will to [succeed].

If Danny Woodhead makes the cut in a US Open, I will shave every hair off my body

If you make the cut it's every hair. If you make the U.S. Open, I'll cut my hair into like regular lengths.

The Warriors are dead

My fire Fest is obviously a, the warriors is dead. I truly believe that.

I'm betting on a Subway Series between the Mets and Yankees in the World Series

I'm putting in subway series, future. The Mets and the Yankees to meet in the world series. I think it's 14 to one... I just want to see it in this office and the chaos that ensues.

Orangutans regularly take hostages for food

Orangutans regularly take hostages for food.

Will Levis is a future number one overall pick

Starting quarterback for the Kentucky Wildcats, Will Levis. Awesome interview with him. Number one pick, future number one pick.

The New York Rangers are the team of destiny

The New York Rangers are one game away from the Stanley Cup final let's go. Congratulations. New York. I just got vibes right now coming from New York Rangers. They feel like the team of destiny. They got the hottest goaltender in the planet.

The 1995 Baltimore Stallions winning a Grey Cup more recently than a Canadian team winning a Stanley Cup is the craziest stat in sports

America has won a [Grey Cup] more recently than Canada has won a Stanley Cup. We don't have a team in the CFL anymore. We haven't had a team in the CFL for 25 plus years, but that's a crazy stat that Canada, the last cup they won, I think it was 93 Montreal, the 95 Baltimore Stallions won a [Grey Cup] more recently than they did win a Stanley Cup.

The 2022 Avalanche-Oilers series was the best four-game sweep in NHL history

That was the best four game series that I've ever seen. Well, the Edmonton Oilers played the best five game series beforehand. It's crazy how good those games were. A couple of them... there were so many exciting games, but unfortunately we only got four games worth out of it.

It's a huge disappointment if the Avalanche don't win the Stanley Cup now

The Avalanche looked like the best team. Like if they don't win it now that's would, that's a big disappointment, big disappointment, huge disappointment.

LIV Golf should make the holes on the green larger to attract more eyeballs to the sport

I think that they're going to do something. That'll make the scoring a lot lower because they need to, you know, they need to attract eyeballs... make the courses easy. You make the holes a little bit bigger. I'm telling you place. Make the holes bigger though. Yeah, that'd be sick.

The new iMessage 'undo send' feature will empower gaslighters

The iMessage app in iOS 16 is getting a new undo send feature as well as the ability to edit chats. You've already sent in. Mark threads is unread. So rip to all the young people out there who are going to be getting gaslighted or say, like, I never said that.

Deshaun Watson should not be allowed to play in 2022 until the civil suits are resolved

I'm about ready to say, like I've seen enough and that I feel like Deshaun Watson should not be allowed to play this year until, until they figure out what's going to happen with the civil suits, because this is now 24 women. And with like strikingly similar details about what's happening.

The 2022 College Football Playoff field will be Alabama, Ohio State, Georgia, and Clemson

I was talking to people the other day and they were like, what, who do you think is going to be like the top four going into the pre-season next year? I was just off the top of my head, Ohio State, Alabama, Clemson... Georgia, Georgia, they've gotten a lot of transfers and they've gotten some talent.

Patrick Mahomes is already underpaid

When I first saw this, I thought like, Patrick Mahomes is already kind of underpaid. Oh yeah. So he signed that $500 million contract. What, two, three years ago. And it's crazy to say with a $500 million contract, but if you look at what the other big money being spent around the league is going to right now, it's like, you could very much make the argument that Patrick Mahomes should not have signed that deal.

Coach John Calipari should receive a 17-year contract extension

Instead of is coach Calipari on the hot seat, it's how many years should we extend him? Because right now, right now, coach Cal has seven lane duck years. You're staring right in the face of it seven years where he does, he might, how can you recruit? Let's get him 10 more years on top of that.

The University of Washington is the new college basketball powerhouse

Washington is a great basketball school. Spencer Hawes, the Pacific Northwest is on the up and up. I mean, you look at the great products. They put out Markelle Fultz, Isaiah Thomas, Spencer Hawes. I mean they are. They're the new powerhouse right now.

Mayonnaise is undeniably a top 3 condiment

Undeniably a top three condiment. So versatile. And I it's just people against big Mayo, but I'm going to stand behind the movement and stay strong with my position on the subject. We've made sure to kind of find a plan that allows me to have Mayo in my diet as frequently as I can.

Kentucky's goal and expectation is an SEC Championship in 2022

That's, that's the goal. That's, that's what our hearts are set on. And that's what's been established from day one of the off season. I'm definitely going to be stepping in and making sure that I'm the guy for the team.