Takes

Statistically, you must be in the top six after the first round of the Masters to have a real chance to win

Trent was saying that like, statistically speaking, you basically have to be top six after the first round. Like anyone past that is not eliminated, but almost eliminated.

Mavericks GM Nico Harrison is a coward for not sitting in his real seats since trading Luka Doncic

I also was made aware that Nico Harrison has not sat in his real seats since the trade. You fucking coward. Go back and sit in your seats... You can't make that trade. And they'd be like, oh, I don't sit in my seats anymore.

New NCAA hockey rules will hurt American players because Canadian talent will take their scholarships

American kids are gonna get shafted scholarship wise because now you're getting the best Canadian kids and... before you wouldn't go because you couldn't go to college. But what happens is that now the best Canadian kids will play in those leagues at 17 and 18, and then they'll go to college and then they'll get a payday to go to college. Right. NIL. So a lot of American kids are probably gonna lose scholarships.

Aaron Rodgers is 41 years old and completely washed

He's 40, 41. That's old as fuck. Too old, right? Hank? Yeah. 40 is washed. Whoa. Washed. Aaron Rodgers is 41 years old.

You cannot fire Michael Malone if he wins two NBA titles in three years

If he then comes back and wins a second NBA championship in three years and your team's never won one before... That is a good thing. Yeah. No matter what like concerns you have about his coaching style or whether it's built for long-term success. If he wins two in three years, you cannot fire him.

Zach Hampel is the best of all time at ball-hawking and deserves respect for his greatness

Listen, I, I know Zach Hampel's a very controversial, actually, he's not controversial. Everyone just hates him. He's, he's the best to ever do it... When did we stop respecting greatness?... He's literally the best to ever do it. What he does, he is the best of all time at.

International hockey tournaments like the Olympics are not legitimate without Russia involved

The worst part about four nations and the Olympics next year. Do you guys know? No, it's no Russia. Oh. So nothing is really that legit because best on, best on best hockey? Like you need Russia involved. It's just, you know what I mean?

Alex Ovechkin might actually be 46 years old due to age technicalities with Russian players

The most amazing thing about the Ovy Gold chase is... He could be like 46 years old. Like you never know with Russians. So the fact that he's like, could be a little older is even crazier.

Leon Draisaitl is more valuable to the Oilers than Connor McDavid this year

I'm an Oilers guy and Leon Draisaitl has just to me been the best player in the league. The most valuable player of the Oilers McDavid's had this great year still, but not McDavid. And then he's leading the league in goals by a lot.

The Colorado Avalanche will beat the Toronto Maple Leafs in the Stanley Cup Final

Stanley Cup finals prediction teams and winner: Colorado. Toronto. Colorado beats him. It'd be an awesome series. Yeah. And, and that's if only I'm saying that is if Florida and Tampa play in the first round.

It is not gay to take a shower in a gym locker room after a workout

I finally look up, I'm like, is he yelling at me? And he's staring at me... 'bro, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck is this gay shit, bro, you gonna shower?'... I really do. I love Joey Swoll. Love his content. He's the best. Joey, I need you to weigh in on this. Am I outta line? Should, should. Is it gay as shit to shower after you work out?

This is the best chance the Maple Leafs have ever had to win the Stanley Cup

So hockey this year, so many storylines. I think the number one for me is that this is the best chance the Leafs have ever had to win the cup. Yes... 1967, the first is that, well the most recent one I heard is the last time both the Detroit Red Wings and Boston Bruins didn't make the Stanley Cup was 1967.

The Stanley Cup winner will be one of these three teams: Florida, Tampa, or Toronto

Florida, Tampa, Toronto. I'm taking all three Atlantics. I think that the only thing that'll stop that is whoever of those three makes the conference finals might just be beat to shit outta gas.

Colorado is the best team in the West and will return to the Cup Finals

Colorado to me is, they're the best team in the West. And if they play Dallas, which I think they will in the first round, one of those kind of unfair, like either team could win the cup and somebody losing first round.

Houston was uncomfortable not playing from behind in the title game

I think that Houston was uncomfortable not playing from behind. I feel like Houston had had to lead the whole game and they were like, wait, we're, we're usually the ones that are, that are coming back at the last minute.

Todd Golden's technical foul was the most strategic in history

Todd Golden probably deserves credit... his technical was maybe the most strategic technical of all time. Because after his technical foul, which was of I think like three or four minutes into the second half, the fouls went 13 to three on Houston.

Seth Davis's 'refereeing is art' take is the dumbest argument ever

Seth Davis though tweeted this about the refs... 'Reffing is more art than science.' I'm gonna disagree with that. I think that's, that makes me want robot s. That's the dumbest argument I've ever heard. If the refs don't call physical play or something that happens in the first half and then all of a sudden they decide that they're gonna call that a foul, that's very confusing for the players.

The 2025 Final Four will be remembered as the Final Four of Chokes

I think it'll be remembered as the, the final four of chokes. [Cooper Flagg] choked. [Kelvin Sampson]... this would've been 800. Brutal.

The Florida championship win means college basketball is alive and well

It turns out that the only thing that we could say after the tournament was over if Duke had won: NIL ruined college basketball. And since Florida won and they didn't have freshmen, it's college basketball alive and well.

The Nuggets firing Michael Malone right before the playoffs makes no sense

I would keep the coach that you're winning right before the Playoffs... your NBA title coach, the only one you have in your history of your franchise Right before the Playoffs. Makes no sense.

Paige Bueckers will be a better pro than Caitlin Clark

I still think Paige Bueckers gonna be a better pro. I know, I know, she, I think Paige is gonna be better.

I'm the freshest person in the Masters field

I am the freshest person here. I have not played a weekend in over like a month and a half and I, I have been getting more rest, more time on my couch. Like all these guys are gonna be exhausted by the time the tournament comes and I'm just cruising on it.

Tiger Woods is no longer a 'force of nature' in golf

Tiger Woods such a force of nature in golf for the last 20 years... this does feel like the first year where it's, I don't wanna say it's over 'cause I hope he plays again, but it does feel kind of over where it's like, you know, the Achilles injury and he already was already banged up and the leg problems. Is it do, can you feel that vibe where it's like that force of nature is no longer here?

Russell Henley is my pick to win the 2025 Masters

Russell Henley's been great in that department [touch shots]. I think he's gonna be my pick this year for the masters. I think Russell Henley's kind of, not just a sleeper, but he is having a great year.

Phil Mickelson has a legit chance to win the Masters this week

I think Phil's got a chance. Oh I think Phil has a legit chance this week. He's been playing some solid golf and kind of going back to like what plays well here is a great iron player and somebody that's excellent around the Greens. I think Phil, he finds himself in contention it feels like every two years. So I think Phil, in terms of extreme long shots, I'm a big fan of his number this week.

A European or International player will win the 2025 Masters

I think it stops here [American dominance]. I think it ends here. Oh, I think Rory or Rom or Sep or somebody like that does it. So Leman, I I, that's kind of where I'm at is I think, I think the, I think the, the internationals are gonna win this. I think probably a European's gonna win it.

White Lotus Season 3 is the worst season of the series

I'd put it clearly number three. I think clearly number three, I think season, I'm gonna go season two. Yeah. Then season one. Barely. And then clearly season three.

The twist of Walter Goggins killing his father in the White Lotus finale was 'cheap'

Walter Goggins in like the last 10 minutes kills the guy. And then the other woman's like, why would you do that? He's your father. It's like, come on... It was just a little cheap.

Ovechkin's record-breaking goal from his office was the perfect way to end the chase

It was awesome to see him score from his office against the Islanders... Ovie was like, fuck it, I know it's at home... he said, no, I don't wanna do it on empty netter. Instead he did it from his office. Perfectly. Perfect, perfect shot. That shot has been happening for 20 years.

Blackhawks owner Jerry Reinsdorf is a piece of shit

I've been watching all the games illegally this year. Good for you. I have a workaround that I'm, I will not tell, but I have a workaround that I've been watching the games illegally because [Jerry Reinsdorf] is such a piece of shit. Yeah. I don't wanna give him money. He sucks.

Duke's loss to Houston was the biggest choke in Final Four history

Duke's downfall for four hours, but like, sign me up. I'll take off my pants right now. 'cause that was, holy fuck. Was that an incredible Final Four delivered... Duke biggest choke in Final Four history. Best team ever analytically... They're the only team to, to have a higher field goal. Percentage more free throw attempts, more assists, fewer turnovers, more steals and lose in the history of the NCAA tournament.

Cooper Flagg does not have the clutch gene

I agree with Skip Bayless and Big Cat in that Cooper Flagg probably doesn't have the clutch gene. If I'm drafting number one in the NBA draft and I'm, I don't know, the Utah Jazz, I I would pass on 'em. Yeah, I would. And let whoever is picking after take them. Like, 'cause you're not gonna win with 'em.

Coach K is secretly happy that Duke lost because it protects his legacy

If we had true serum Coach K's happy. He doesn't want the next guy to win a title in his third year... John Scheyer, the, the, the school has not dropped off in terms of a level of basketball. But what Coach K has done to win titles gets magnified even more of. That's really hard to do because John Scheyer couldn't do it with one of the best analytically best teams of all time.

Ja Morant's addiction to fake guns is the best addiction of all time

Ja Morant can't quit holding fake guns. It's the, it's the best addiction of all time. I respect the hell outta that... the NBA coming down on him for his fake guns is bullshit. Just ignoring all the history of Ja Morant with real guns. I love that shit.

Aaron Rodgers will announce his signing with the Steelers on Pat McAfee's live show

The theory is that Aaron Rodgers is waiting for [Pat McAfee's Pittsburgh show] to come out on stage and say I'm going to be a Pittsburgh Steeler to fuck over the mainstream media. Which I would love. That would be awesome... I kind of like every now and then a player stealing it from the insiders and being like, I control my own message.

Houston is a team of wolves led by a wolf

Houston is just a bunch of wolves, man led by a wolf... the way they get after it, you, you can't prepare for it. It's like a pass rush that just the quarterback is gonna be rattled and it kills, it kills your transition offensive game because it's hard for you to even run on them because getting a defensive rebound feels like survival.

The latest Blink-182 reunion is for life

This is the third iteration of Blink-182. And people still wanna buy albums and listen to our music... we can't fuck this up again. The third time is just, we will be a joke at that point. Like, if we're getting back together as the three of us, it has to be forever. And that's it.

Mike Florio's idea of the Bengals and Bears sharing a stadium in Chicago is absurd

The Bengals... Could be to partner up in a new Chicagoland stadium. I disagree. That is not the best outcome for the Bengals. No, not at all. Not even close... I feel like Florio didn't, Florio's the problem always. He's, you, you point at he's the reason that, that you would accept a, a new team that you don't care about.

Duke will win the 2025 National Championship

I have been saying for a month and a half now that it is Duke's year. And I do fully think that they are, they feel like even though it is a loaded Final Four, they feel a little step ahead. I will not be rooting for Duke, but I am also resigned to the fact they will probably win.

Cliff Kingsbury buying a one-way ticket to Thailand is the horniest move an adult male can make

I just keep thinking to myself like, this is the place that Cliff Kingsbury bought a one-way ticket to. I think that's the horniest move that an adult male can do. Is to buy a one-way ticket to Thailand.

Any NBA team that plays well in March is a 'fake' team because the month doesn't matter

March NBA does not fucking matter because half the teams are not even trying. So when you say, oh man, look at this team so hot in March. Turns out that's all Fools Gold. If you start playing well in March, you're just a fake team. That's really what it comes down to.

Shohei Ohtani has reached maximum aura and is the definitive face of baseball

Does Shohei Ohtani have Aura? Because I think he has maximum Aura. First pitch home run. Just, he doesn't change anything about his expression, swing anything. It's just business as usual. I think Shohei Ohtani has reached the next level of Superstardom where he just has the most aura in the game. It's settled. Shohei is the face.

Aaron Rodgers is waiting for the Vikings door to shut before committing to the Steelers

I think Aaron Rodgers is waiting to commit to the Steelers until he knows for sure that the door is shut in Minnesota. That's what I think is happening. He has not confirmed interest in the Steelers or denied.

I am officially done with all NBA era comparison debates

I'm officially done with conversations comparing eras in the NBA. I feel like that's all that is talked about at this point. I'm getting tired of it. Why can't we just say all the good players would be good in their era? Good basketball players are good. Case closed.

Duke is the only team in the country top-5 in both offensive and defensive efficiency

I have figured Duke to win it all. There's a reason I picked that. Number one, any time a team is top five in offensive and defensive efficiency, they got a great chance to win. Duke's the only team in the country that's top five by Ken Pomeroy in efficiency in both areas.

The WWE Championship is essentially a de-facto office position with leadership responsibilities

What I really quickly found out is that it is almost a de-facto position in the office. It's a bigger position than just man and tights wrestling. There's a layer of responsibility, like a team captain. And especially for being a good guy character, to have the title this long is rather unheard of because everyone just tries to murder you every week.

The Rock's massive cheat meals are stolen valor

His cheat days are bullshit. Where he is like, 'Oh me, I'm the Rock, I'm eating a hundred pancakes.' Like yeah dude, eat a hundred pancakes when you're already full and fat. That's hard work. If you're in really good shape and you eat a lot of food, that's not hard. It's stolen valor. I wanna see the Rock eat a cheat meal when he's already full.

John Cena is a dick for trying to invalidate my authenticity

One of the big disagreements John Cena and I have had is he feels I'm not authentic enough or as authentic as he was. And I think at this point I'm pretty confident in who I am. To some people he's still John Cena, the hero, and to other people, especially the younger audience, he's kind of a dick.

Big men everywhere start dreading April because they lose the ability to hide under sweatshirts

We're getting to t-shirt weather. Do we have a plan? The first nice day where it's 70 degrees and you hold onto the sweatshirt and you're like, 'this is uncomfortable.' And you realize I'm gonna have to start wearing a t-shirt. It's the worst feeling in the world. I forgot that I couldn't just wear a sweatshirt for the entire year.

Under the NFL's new overtime rules, you should choose to kick if you win the coin toss.

Now we're gonna have to recalibrate because you win the coin toss. You don't want the ball first. Correct? 'cause then you want to know if you need to go for two on a touchdown.