Takes

The Jets' season is officially over

Nothing. The season's over. It's over. It's over, dude. We're right now... I've been saying we'll go like 11 and 6, blah blah, blah. We're right on pace for 2 and 15.

The Buffalo Bills have already won the AFC East

The Bills are just a good team. They have as many wins as the rest of the AFC East combined... Congratulations. The Buffalo Bills for they've won the AFC East. I think that's pretty much wrapped up.

Aaron Judge is a regular season merchant who doesn't show up in the playoffs

The Yankees are just like Aaron Judge is a regular season merchant. All he does is hit home runs in the regular season, doesn't show up in the playoffs. Like that's a and and if there's one fanbase that will not tolerate that, it's the New York Yankees.

Duke basketball is back

Duke's back... They beat Arizona State by 50 in a scrimmage... They might be back. God damnit they might be back.

The Rams would win a trade sending Matthew Stafford to the Vikings for Sam Darnold

There were floating rumors out there about Matthew Stafford being traded for Sam Darnold. Which would've been insane if that had happened. I was, as a fan of chaos, I was hoping that that would happen before the game because that we'll never see that again. And honestly, I think that the Rams would win that trade.

You can actually lose weight by eating a diet of Uncrustables

I actually think you could lose weight eating Uncrustables. Peanut butter's got tons of protein in it. Bread is the biggest part of the food pyramid, which is really, really healthy and scientific.

If the Eagles beat the Bengals, they are winning the Super Bowl

If we win this one though, I'm all the way back. Okay. If, if we win this one, I'm thinking soupy.

Lane Johnson, Reggie White, Brian Dawkins, and Jason Kelce are the Mount Rushmore of Eagles players

If I had to pick, I would say Reggie White, Brian Dawkins, Lane Johnson, Jason Kelce. [They] are just legends.

Jayden Daniels is already a top 2 quarterback in the NFC and a top 5 all-time prospect

I think Jayden Daniels is gonna be the best quarterback in the history of the Redskins or Commanders. I think he's gonna be the best quarterback in the NFC. He might already be the best quarterback in the NFC... Probably top five [all time potential]. I think Jayden Daniels is like absolutely the best quarterback that I've ever watched in my entire life.

Caleb Williams is better than Jayden Daniels going forward and will have the better career

I honestly think that we're all gonna become winners. And I'm gonna say it... He [Caleb Williams] is so much better than Jayden Daniels. I did not say Caleb Williams played so much better [this year]. I said he's so much better... I think Caleb Williams going forward is going to be the better quarterback. I'm talking about the future.

The NFL owners should force Jimmy Haslam to sell the Browns for ruining the guaranteed contract market

Jimmy Haslam giving Deshaun [Watson] that guaranteed contract pissed everybody off. In the NFL... I think that there's a chance, I'm not saying it's a high chance, but there is a chance that the other owners turn on Haslam because of what he did with the contract and set that precedent. I hope for Cleveland fans that they get to experience that... he should sell the team as just a fan of the sport.

The Titans will cover +11.5 against the Lions in a major let-down spot

The Lions for the first time in franchise history are now the odds on favorites to win the NFC... This is the first time that they are a double digit favorite under Dan Campbell. They just came off a very emotional two weeks where they killed the Cowboys, beat the Vikings... I'm not saying that the Lions are gonna lose this game. I'm just saying 11 and a half is a lot of points... it's a let down spot of let down spots.

Jerod Mayo might be one-and-done as the Patriots head coach

There was a rumor going around, I think... picking up a lot of steam. [That Jerod Mayo was going to be one and done]. I don't, I think that's unfair to coach Mayo to do this year, but I think it's probably smart to move on after the season.

The modern RPO-heavy NFL is 'Friday night high school offense' that gets quarterbacks killed

I don't like passing plays with the offensive line run blocking. I don't like seeing quarterbacks getting their ass knocked off because of this ridiculous protection offense that I'm watching. That's what RPO stands for me... I don't wanna see Friday night offense in high school all day Saturday and then see it on Sunday. I wanna see these NFL quarterbacks drop back to pass, throw an array of routes with different route trees and audibles.

Jared Goff is playing like Joe Montana

I don't even think it's close. I did a thing with the Detroit Lions last week. I think Jared Goff is starting to look like Joe Montana to me. He plays with continuous movement. He completes almost every single pass. He's tough as hell. He has continuity in the same system... I got Goff way up there on my list.

Jerry Rice is the greatest player of all time because he never caught a bubble screen

Jerry Rice [is number one all time]. The thing that Jerry Rice... you hear about some of these receivers now, you know, their stats and all this. Jerry Rice never caught a bubble screen. I don't know if Jerry Rice caught three quick screens either. He didn't want those routes. He was running patterns, man. And the greatest thing about Jerry Rice is I really believe he loved the misery.

Bronny James will have a bad stat line in his NBA debut

I think [Bronny James] bad. Two minutes, one turnover.

The Denver Nuggets will win the NBA title this season

Nuggets [will win the title].

The fumble-through-the-end-zone touchback is a good rule

I stand by my take that. That's a good rule. Yeah. I I like the fumble through the end zone fumble recovered in the end zone for Touchback.

The Buccaneers should fire Todd Bowles now and make Liam Coen the head coach

Their defense is bad... Liam Coen, their offensive coordinator is seemingly a very good offensive coordinator. If you want to keep him, you should make him the head coach right Now. Just because like Todd Bowles is what he is... I wouldn't let Liam Coen out the door and keep Todd Bowles after the season is over.

Lamar Jackson is already a Hall of Famer

I, yeah, I think [Lamar Jackson] probably already is [a Hall of Famer]. I'm not saying if Lamar retired right now he's in the Hall of Fame. But I'm saying the way that he's played. If this keeps up Yeah. like anywhere close to what he's been then Yeah, he's the Hall of Famer.

Jameson Williams should appeal his suspension to strategically miss fewer days around Thanksgiving

Jameson Williams, I, I, I do think that he should appeal it and wait because they play on Thanksgiving. So just wait and do it the week before Thanksgiving and then you only miss five games [days]. You take his suspension Sunday morning at 11:59. His suspension is over on Thursday at like three o'clock.

Minnesota has the coolest collection of athletes of the last 20 years

Minnesota Sports because they recreated the old Randy Moss KG picture with Anthony Edwards and Justin Jefferson. And I know Minnesota sports are sad state, don't win things, but they might have like the coolest collection of athletes in the last 20 years, like compared to anyone else. They had KG, they had Randy Moss, they have Anthony Edwards, they have Justin Jefferson. They had Joe Mauer.

Georgia is the best team in the SEC

I think we all probably saw the best team in the SEC on Saturday night in, in it's Georgia. It's a healthy Georgia... they got pretty much everybody back against Texas And it showed. And that's, that's what they are. So to me Georgia's probably, you know, the best team in the league.

The College Football Playoff is bound to expand to 16 teams

Right now they're at nine or 10% with the 12 team playoff, which I, I think some would probably say is too low, which is why we're probably almost certainly bound eventually for 16 team playoff. 14 teams, 16 teams. Like it's gonna keep expanding.

College Football will eventually separate into a professionalized premier league model

There's a suggestion that the gaps will grow so big... that there will be a small segment, not 130, maybe not even 70, maybe 40 or 50 that separate off and, and do their own thing. It would be more of a professionalized kind of model. That's the way a lot of folks see this going.

Indiana needs to finish 11-1 to guarantee a College Football Playoff at-large bid

That would be trouble for them if they drop any other game... I think that there is an argument to be made that, that Indiana basically hasn't played a top 35 40 team in the country. So they really need to go 11-1 probably to get a CFP at large.

Billy Napier and Dave Aranda are the coaches on the hottest seats in college football

Billy Napier would be a 10... [Dave Aranda] probably that's a 10 with Billy.

Ben Simmons will have a great season because he is finally healthy

I think the work has been working. He just has to stay healthy. I think he can impact the game so many ways... some guys, you just don't need to be a shooter... Ben Simmons just needs to be healthy, period. He's healthy, he's gonna have a great season. It's that simple.

Paolo Banchero will be one of the best players in the NBA this season with an improved shot

Paolo Banchero for the magic. He's coming off of his first Allstar season, his shot. I feel like he's gonna be a very good shooter this year. I think that'll change everything for him. I think that'll make him, you know, one of the best players in the league for sure.

Victor Wembanyama will be the future of the league and a multiple-time MVP

Wemby is the future of the league. I think he'll be MVP multiple times... Jamal [Crawford] was telling me, he's like, we've mastered the Melo footwork, we've mastered the Dirk footwork... If he stays healthy, I think he'll be one of the greatest players that we've ever seen.

Nobody cares about October basketball

Who gives a fuck about October basketball? ... It matters maybe like 1%.

Brian Thomas Jr. might be the best rookie wide receiver in the NFL.

Brian Thomas might be the best rookie wide receiver now that Malik Nabers missed a couple games. Marvin Harrison is like, either he scores three touchdowns or doesn't catch a ball. Brian Thomas is the real deal looking awesome.

Tank Bigsby has one of the coolest names in the NFL.

Tank Bigsby deserves more credit for being one of the coolest names in the NFL... His real name is Cartus. Cartus is pretty solid... Cartus Bigsby. He is Cardi B.

Injuries absolutely should change a player's position on the depth chart if the backup is better.

I disagree with that. I think that injury can absolutely a hundred percent without a doubt change things up. Especially when the guy that comes in for the injured guy is better than the injured guy when the injured guy wasn't injured.

Jared Goff is a legitimate MVP candidate at +850 odds.

Jared Goff plus 850 on DraftKings Sportsbook for MVP. Just saying that... the last two guys who have had a three-game streak of 140 plus passer rating was Aaron Rodgers in 2011 when he won an MVP and Kurt Warner in 1999 when he won an MVP.

Chase Young is the NFL leader in 'looking cool' compared to actual on-field production.

Chase Young is probably the guy who looks the coolest and looks the most athletic compared to what he actually does on the field. I don't think that that would fit well in that system.

Jordan Love is the new Brett Favre.

Jordan Love is just Brett Favre... he leads the league in touchdowns and interceptions. 15 touchdowns, seven interceptions... he missed two games this year.

The NFC North power ranking for playoff confidence: Lions, Packers, Vikings, Bears.

How would you power rank the NFC North right now in terms of confidence to go deep in the playoffs? I think the Bears have the longest shot. I'm not fooling myself here. I would say Lions number one. And then I would say, I think I'm gonna say the Packers number two... and the Vikings number three.

Fans have every right to cheer for Deshaun Watson's injury.

They cheered when he went down. I got no problem with that... he's a bad guy. I'm not gonna be like, oh, Boohoo Deshaun Watson... people being happy about it, I don't have any problem with people being happy about it either.

The Cleveland Browns should tank for a new quarterback.

Now you're probably trying to lose, you're one in six. You need to draft a quarterback. Let's call it what it is you. You've got a tank. It's in the best interest of your organization. Continue to lose.

Jaden Daniels wearing a team jumpsuit on the sidelines counts as being in 'street clothes.'

I've always said that street clothes is, if you're wearing clothes that you would wear on the, like to the game... I'm defending my take that I know is wrong because there's something of deep, deep down that I want it to be true.

The Panthers should start Bryce Young because there is no downside to him being bad.

Why not just play Bryce Young anymore? Bryce Young could easily throw a pick-six in another pick to put him in a big hole and then the game be over in the first quarter... play him and see what you got. What's the downside? If he's bad, you're at the exact same spot.

Dave Canales should have his 'quarterback whisperer' tag revoked.

I would like to formally remove the tag quarterback whisperer from Dave Canales for at least one full season... You were brought in to whisper to Bryce and you did not whisper effectively enough to Bryce.

Betting against Patrick Mahomes as an underdog is a move for morons.

I am the idiot who bet against Patrick Mahomes is an underdog now. No, actually I was gonna make an excuse for myself... but there is no excuse. I'm just a moron and I should, I should just stop gambling... If you try to outsmart Patrick Mahomes as an underdog, you're just a moron.

The Kansas City Chiefs' first loss will occur on November 17th against the Buffalo Bills.

I'm gonna say their first loss is gonna happen November 17th against the Bills. And then the Bills are gonna be like, we can beat the Chiefs and then they're gonna lose in the playoffs though.

Cliff Kingsbury will definitely be an NFL head coach again.

He will be a head coach again. There's so many dumb owners in the NFL that Cliff Kingsbury. A million percent will be. I hope he doesn't, I hope he's coordinator for life.

The New York Jets' season is officially over.

I think the season's over. We suck. We have no identity. We just, we're just a bad football team... we're as Jets as as possible.

The Dodgers-Yankees World Series will average 14 million viewers.

I'm predicting 14 million average. Whoa. Average for this one. Whoa. That's, that's what we're talking about. We're talking about ratings.

Juan Soto's next contract could reach $750 million or even $1 billion.

Soto, it feels like, loves New York and it's going to be a literal bidding war between the Mets and the Yankees... Juan Soto signs for 12 years. A billion dollars. I mean... Soto could get like 13 years, 750 million.