Takes

I predict the Bengals will eventually be back

I don't know if they're back yet, but I predict that they will be back... September's a bad month and then they get hot. And I think that's what's gonna happen again.

Patrick Surtain II is one of the best, if not the best cornerback in the league

Patrick Surtain, who we did put respect on last week, is like one of the best cornerbacks, if not the best cornerback in the league.

There is a chance Nick Sirianni doesn't make it through the bye week

I think there's a chance that Sirianni doesn't make it, make it through the bye... there's a problem between coach and quarterback.

Jalen Hurts is addicted to turning the ball over

And Jalen Hurts is addicted to turning the ball over.

Nico Collins is a top three wide receiver

Is Nico Collins a top three wide receiver? 'Cause it feels like he is. He's awesome. He's so good.

Laremy Tunsil is going to break the record for flags this year

Is Laremy Tunsil going for the record for flags this year? ... I'll say right now, Laremy Tunsil, I support your aspirations to break the record for most flags in a season. I think he's going for it.

If the Commanders defense is even average, we could win a playoff game

If our defense is 16th in the NFL... I'm thinking a win in the playoffs. I'm thinking maybe divisional week.

Amar'e Cooper wants out of Cleveland

Amari Cooper wants out. He does not want to be there anymore.

The Chiefs will win every game but it will always be ugly

It's also pretty clear that these Chiefs are just gonna win every game, but just it's gonna be ugly.

Tattoos are not a quarterback's look

I have a theory on Carson Beck. I think the, I think the tattoos are too much for a quarterback. That's just not a quarterback's look.

Karl-Anthony Towns is a terrible fit for the Knicks

Was your initial reaction like mine, which was basically that KAT could not be a worst fit for this team?

New York is going to eat Karl-Anthony Towns alive

I think Knicks fans are going, I mean they were really mean to Julius Randall and if KA... I just don't think [New York] is going to eat him alive.

Al Michaels is at his best when he is visibly annoyed by the quality of football

When Al Michaels is at his best now is when he's annoyed with the quality of football. And he was so annoyed. He gets into surly old man mode very early on in the first half. He was just like, well this is awful. This is terrible, Kirk, get me outta here.

I am 100% in on the Vikings; their success is not a fluke

I am, I think I'm a hundred percent in on the Vikings. I think I'm in on 'em. I don't think what they're doing is a fluke. I think that their defense is really confusing. And I think that Sam Darnold, I don't know if Sam Darnold's like a, a great starting quarterback at large in the NFL, but in this offense with this head coach, I think he's really, really good.

The Vikings at Packers game is an absolute sell-high spot for Sam Darnold

I somewhat agree with like, it's not fluky in the fact that I think they're a good team. I just think this is like their absolute sell high spot. It's like everyone's, like the Vikings are for real. I am feeling like this is a spot where Sam Darnold's gonna lay an egg and everyone's gonna get off the scent.

Caleb Williams is already 'out' after throwing for 363 yards

I mean he threw for 363 yards last week. I think he's gonna, I think he's already out. You think he's out? Yeah, he's out. [PFT: if he goes dummy this game, I think he's out already] then I think that's the coming out party. He's already out. I don't need Nerd Stats to know. He's already out. He's been out.

Bryce Huff sucks and I am already done with him

Is this a get right game for Bryce Huff? Nah, he sucks. I'm done with him. I hate Bryce Huff. He sucks.

The Eagles are winning because the line making no sense means Vegas knows something

Honestly, it makes no sense that they're two point favorites in this game. I like the Eagles. I think we talked our way through it. I like the Eagles specifically because Vegas knows something. It makes no sense. The only sense I can think of is the way the Bucs have won... I think we take the Eagles as a team.

Shut Drake Maye down for the entire season to protect him

I hope not [seeing Drake Maye play]. Even in the one drive that he played, he got crushed. When we have an offensive line that can block for him. So not until next year and maybe the year after. Not shut him down, but I, I would not get like, I, I get more scared than excited if he goes in.

I heard a rumor that Christian McCaffrey might retire

Did you hear Ryan Whitney say that he heard a rumor that he's might retire? [Whitney: Really? That seems crazy. Whitney also... admitted in the interview that they just fuck around a lot with rumors. Yeah, it's a crazy rumor. Definitely not true.]

Patrick Mahomes is having the most 'fuck you' career by playing average regular season football and winning Super Bowls

Patrick Mahomes has not been very good. I have a fun stat for you. In the last eight regular season games, Patrick Mahomes is 11 touchdowns, nine interception... Which made me believe that there's a chance, Patrick Mahomes might just have the most fuck you career of all time to everyone who watches football and win like 10 Super Bowls and just play average football every regular season.

The Bruins lowballed Jeremy Swayman with a four-year, $6.2 million offer

I find out that the offer is four years times 6.2 crazy low ball. And that they, that they haven't talked in like three weeks. It's August camps in 10 days... I had the contract offer. Right. He [Don Sweeney] didn't argue that. So whether it was two weeks, three weeks, or 10 days, right. There's been enough silence in August with your star goalie that it's seriously alarming.

Conor McDavid will win at least one Stanley Cup in the next four years

No doubt in my mind [McDavid can win the big one]. I'm very confident that this is the year... Life or death four years, like a four year span, gun your head. I would say they, yeah, I would say they would win one cup. That would be my guess. Life or death.

Shohei Ohtani is a better global superstar and better at his sport than anyone ever

Do you remember when I came on the show and you guys relentlessly tortured me for saying McDavid was better at his sport than anyone else in the world. I've now switched it to Ohtani. And I'm like obsessed with watching this guy play baseball. And it might be Travis Hunter. No, Tani... nobody's done consistently offense and defense in the NFL... it's not, it's insane watching this guy.

Jayden Daniels' Monday night performance was the best game I've ever seen a quarterback play for the Commanders

What I saw last night made me feel emotions that I have not felt in my cold dead football heart in decades... what really got me excited about Jayden was how he handled like third downs, fourth downs. He was cool. He was directing guys around. He was calm in the pocket... I think that's the best game I've ever seen a quarterback play for my team.

The Bengals are in deep trouble after starting 0-3 with a defense that can't be fixed

I do think the Bengals are in trouble... only six of the 225 teams that started 0 and 3 in the Super Bowl era have made the playoffs... I don't know where the fixes are on defense. The only fix I have for the Bengals is Joe Burrow has to change his hair color. You can't be 0 and 3 with those frosted tips.

Jayden Daniels will win a Super Bowl in the next five years

I did fire off a tweet at like 3:00 AM as I was, I got back from the casino... and I said that I think [Jayden Daniels] is gonna win a Super Bowl in the next five years. Whoa. And I think he is. Maybe even two.

Josh Allen is the second-best quarterback in the NFL

Josh Allen is what a franchise quarterback looks like. And we've said it a million times. Just because he's not Patrick Mahomes doesn't mean he's [not] the second—he is the second best quarterback in the NFL.

The Bills losing Stefon Diggs was addition by subtraction

It probably is addition by subtraction, losing Diggs. Oh, definitely. And Gabe Davis... it feels like this. Josh [Allen] is like star. He's turned a brand new page clean slate for this team. So he doesn't have any of that excess baggage that he used to have.

Travis Hunter should be the Heisman winner because he is the best football player in the country

Travis Hunter should be the Heisman. And maybe it's because I bet on him pre-season, but Travis Hunter should be the Heisman... if you actually voted for Heisman how it should be voted—best player, not how every award now gets voted on... Travis Hunter should be your Heisman Trophy winner because he is the best football player in college football.

Mike Shanahan essentially acts as a 'shadow GM' for the 49ers by watching all film and meetings

I did spend a bunch of time with [Mike Shanahan] in May and June of 2022... there is something at 49ers headquarters referred to as the 'Shana-Cam', which basically means Mike Shanahan needs to watch meetings and practice ASAP virtually. So he's, some people think he's the shadow GM. I think that's an exaggeration. But he's... he's still got it.

The Chicago Bears are the most under-marketed entity in American commerce

I don't believe that there is a more under-marketed entity in American commerce than the Chicago Bears... in this city... it's a football town... and with the Bears, you know, in '85 and like that was, it was just, it engulfed everything. And they've been living off it since.

The start of the 2024 season proves that coaching matters more than anything else in the NFL

The big picture for me before we get into all the games is Sam Darnold's three and oh, Geno Smith's three and oh... this start of the 2024 season has just been a red blinking light of coaching matters a lot.

Kevin O'Connell is one of the best coaches in the NFL

Minnesota might have one of the best coaches in the league. Yes. And I would also put McVay's performance this week right up there too.

I'm not worried about Caleb Williams; I'm worried about the Bears' coaching staff ruining him

Nothing has changed about my opinion about Caleb Williams other than the fact maybe everyone was right that Matt Eberflus is a fucking moron... Caleb Williams is not my worry at all. I know people were going to say he is a bust and all that shit. He's not my worry. I swear to God, I'm not worried at all. I'm worried about the coaching staff just like ruining him in a way that makes me worried.

Malik Nabors is the frontrunner for Offensive Rookie of the Year

Malik Nabors is really, really, he's awesome. He's right now Rookie of the Year.

Deshaun Watson has the worst contract in NFL history

Deshaun Watson will go down as the worst contract ever.

The Steelers cannot bench Justin Fields for Russell Wilson as long as they are winning

It feels like he's [Fields] kind of rounding into form to being a winning quarterback... I personaly would not [bench him]... you cannot bench a three and oh quarterback... You gotta wait until something bad happens and like he has a bad game and then maybe make a switch.

Matt LaFleur is the current NFL Coach of the Year through three weeks

Matt LaFleur is the coach of the year through three weeks. It's insane... two wins without Jordan Love.

The Panthers should trade Bryce Young immediately while he still has some value

You've got to trade Bryce Young right this second because what could happen is David Tepper could be like, Hey, maybe this team isn't so bad, Bryce Young, get back in there. Don't do that. Play with Andy Dalton. Trade Bryce Young for anything you can right now.

Matthew Stafford is a Hall of Famer

Matthew Stafford, Hall of Famer. Matthew Stafford has 99 total wins in his career... almost half of Matthew Stafford's wins have needed Matthew Stafford to have a game winning drive. He's an absolute baller when it comes down to late game situations.

I am officially buying into the Seahawks as a legitimate team

I am getting very close to buying in on the Seahawks... Mike Macdonald seems to be a very good head coach in three games. I am dangerously close to believing in the Seahawks.

Lamar Jackson is 21-1 in his career against the NFC

Lamar Jackson now 21 and one against the NFC. He kills them. He kills the NFC.

Justin Tucker is officially washed

We also had a passing of the torch in this game. We've talked about it, but Justin Tucker missing a 46 yarder and Brandon Aubrey making a 65 yarder. I think it's official washed.

One of the underdogs will win outright in the Monday Night Football doubleheader

Just pick one of the other, one of the underdogs is gonna win out. Right. That's guaranteed.

The Patriots' offensive line is currently worse than the Bears'

[The Patriots] looked horrible. Their offensive line like looked worse than the Bears. [Jacoby Brissett] never had more than one second to throw. They missed a ton of tackles on defense.

Shohei Ohtani is the best baseball player of all time

I'd say that this, he is the best baseball player of all time. Whether or not he'll have the best career of all time is kind of up for grabs. But we've never seen anybody that's doing what he's doing.

NFL offenses are struggling because they are taking the bait on two-high safety looks

Everyone's blaming the two high safeties. And I actually read an article... essentially deep passes still work, but offenses are taking the bait with the two high safeties and just they're running the ball into light boxes and it's just not, it's not as effective... stop taking the bait.

The Bears will beat the Colts because Caleb Williams will have a breakout game

I think this is the week [against the Colts]. I think the Bears are gonna run it down their throats... I think this is the week that the offense looks good. I think the Bears are gonna win... Caleb Williams is gonna go off against the Colts.

The Eagles' coaching staff is currently talentless

They are a player led team. It's, it's true... Just coordinators. No head coach. [The coaches] are not talented right now... talent's not something you can just, like, it doesn't go up and down. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a hot and cold thing.