Takes

Bryce Huff is a terrible player

I have a guy that you guys can get, he was first in pressure rate in 2022 and third in rate in 2023. And you can have him, do you want him... Oh no, he sucks.

You should never have a quarterback wearing number 19

Skylar Thompson wearing number 19 is terrible. That's a bad quarterback name number. It's Johnny Unitas and nothing else. You can't, yeah. Number 19... it's a just warning sign that this is a very backup quarterback.

A football team's true identity is revealed by the 'second quarter' of the season (Weeks 5-8)

I think by the second quarter you should know like, this is the first quarter, first four days... I think by the second quarter, man, you should know the type of team you got. You should know if you a running team, if you're a play action team, or if you're on defense and you, you, you are a defense that stopped the run.

The hip-drop tackle ban is difficult to enforce because players just react in the heat of the moment

The whole thing is to get him down... You're not saying, oh let me do this illegal tackle so that I could tear his ACL or break his ankle... You don't have time to gauge like, oh, it's my helmet going to come in contact with his helmet... You just go and you just react. I think all of this stuff... nobody really thinking about what the defense gotta go through.

Early morning workout routines are never actually fun, no matter how much you do them

How do people do it? How do you get up... Everyone, everyone, everyone who talks about getting up early, they're like, you just gotta get through the first couple of days. No. And it becomes routine. No, there's no way that, that they're wrong... there's still no way that it's fun.

The NFC South is no longer the worst division in football

I believe that we officially have to end the narrative that the NFC South is the worst division in football because they have the two and Oh Saints, the one in one Falcons, the two and oh bucks. Yes. The Panthers. We will talk about Bryce Young in a minute, but they're, they're a good division now.

Nick Sirianni should have been arrested for not kicking the field goal in the first half

The Eagles could have won if they had kicked that field goal in the first quarter. Which, and it's not, it's not hindsight to say it. I tweeted out at the time that Nick Sirianni should be arrested... I think that just the take that Nick Sirianni should be arrested is applicable to all sorts of different things that he does.

The Eagles should have run the ball twice on their final offensive possession

Running the football there... I'll even get crazy here. Ready? Ready for this Max. I think you run it twice and you get a first down because you're the Philadelphia Eagles and no one can stop when you run it with your biggest offensive line in football.

The 2024 Philadelphia Eagles are most likely an average team

I revised the overall team maybe 18 times before I came to a final version... Not terrible, not great. A possibility to still be good, but most likely average. Like fighting like wild cards. Yeah. Seven seed. Yeah. Six seed.

The era of Bryce Young in Carolina is officially over

We had the news that Andy Dalton is now the quarterback of the Carolina Panthers. And I feel like it is officially over for Bryce Young. Not really a hot take, but we were talking about it on Sunday. Yeah. When you threw that out there. I was like, the only problem is if you go to and Dalton, I don't know if you can ever go back unless there's an injury, because Andy Dalton is going to be better than Bryce Young.

David Tepper chose Bryce Young because C.J. Stroud was 'too close' to his wife

Apparently Mrs. Tepper loved C.J. Stroud. Oh no. Like loved him. He call, oh, he calls her Mama Tepp. Oh no. So that's why David Tepper and then David Tepper is like, wait, I could have C.J. Stroud built like a statue seems real close with Mama Tepp or the short guy. Mm. That's just a real good friend. Wow. He's got a great personality.

Diddy killed Biggie Smalls

Diddy's a bad guy. And my take, I don't, this isn't like an a wildly original one. I think Diddy killed Biggie. Think about it. Think about it... when Biggie died, you remember Diddy was like all over tv. He did that. The video. I'll be missing you. Yeah. Like that he made his entire career about Yeah. Biggie. That is something that a psychopath killer would do.

Ben Simmons is officially back to playing at an All-Star level

Ben Simmons reportedly is in camp and or at least training. He says Ben Simmons is back to playing all star talent level basketball. Get ready for this boys big season loading... I think this is the year, this is the year for Ben.

Georgia is still a playoff team, but they aren't as dominant in the trenches as years past

I think they're holding Carson Beck back a little bit... that offensive line's not what I thought they were gonna be. So they can't just push people around and mash people and they're really not that kind of a group on defense. Now what they do have are freak show monsters on defense that can get you off the edge... but it's just not gonna look as dominant or clean as it has in years past.

Ole Miss vs. Georgia is the most important game for the Rebels' playoff path

I think the Ole Miss game [vs Georgia] probably the most important game there... I don't think 10 and two just guarantees that you're in the playoff with those schedules and if Georgia were to go down to say an Alabama or Texas not near as big of a deal. But I think you can go a little bit further in eliminating Ole Miss with maybe a 10 and two similar record if you're Georgia.

Urban Meyer's coaching style would not work in modern college football

I have a ton of respect for Urban, but I don't think his style of coaching is overly conducive with today's college football. He's a grinder. Yeah, absolutely... That's a small portion of why Saban walked away. Like he couldn't coach the guys the way that he wanted to anymore, the way the guys probably need to be coached. But you now you have an out... Rick Trickett... referenced me as the dumbest motherfucker... every single day. You can't do that anymore.

Texas is a bigger matchup problem for the SEC than any SEC team is for Texas

I don't from a matchup perspective, PFT I don't really know if there's a ton that I look at and just say like from a matchup perspective, like that's, that's rough... I think they're more of a matchup problem for anybody else than anybody else is for them because of how versatile they are offensively the motions they use the formations.

The feeling of hitting a home run like Barry Bonds is the best sports superpower

Hitting like Barry Bonds is the like, I mean throwing, throwing like Paul Skenes would be pretty sick. No, the feeling of hitting a home run, like if you just got that feeling 700 whatever times, that's the best. That's awesome.

Justin Tucker is officially washed compared to his peak

Is Justin Tucker washed? Yes. He is washed compared to peak Justin Tucker. 100%. He's no longer Justin Tucker. He's no longer, 'Hey, we have a 50-yard field goal, we're gonna make it because we have Justin Tucker.'

The Saints are the best team in the NFL through the first two weeks

If we were just going off of two weeks, are the Saints the best team in the NFL? Yes, they are. I think that they are the best team in the NFL. If you go off two weeks, cumulative scores are 91 to 20.

Brian Daboll cost the Giants the game by failing to carry a backup kicker

Brian Daboll, what the fuck are you doing? They could have brought up another kicker. It felt like Brian Daboll cost his team the game here by not having a kicker.

Sam Darnold has officially arrived in the NFL after seven years

Sam Darnold's back. Sam Darnold has arrived. Sam Darnold is our Baker Mayfield of this year. It took him seven years, but he has finally arrived in the NFL. He is now, dare I say, good.

Anthony Richardson is not currently good at quarterbacking

Anthony Richardson is just not that good at quarterbacking right now. He had two very, very bad interceptions. Missing guys. I just don't see it what other people see. Kale Williams was really good in college. Anthony Richardson wasn't. So that's where I'm like, I don't know.

Bryce Young's career in Carolina is over

I feel bad for Bryce Young. It doesn't feel like it's ever gonna happen. Carolina, I feel like that part is, is kind of done. 'Cause even if he plays the rest of this year, there's no way the Panthers are gonna be good enough where they're like, we're gonna keep him going forward.

The Bengals are the team the Chiefs fear playing the most

I think you proved that now that Joe Burrow's back, you guys are the hardest out for the Chiefs. That's a fact. If you ask Chiefs fans, if you ask Patrick Mahomes, you ask Andy Reid, you hit him with truth serum and you're like, what team do you not wanna play? It's the Cincinnati Bengals.

Caleb Williams won't survive the season behind the Bears' offensive line

Caleb Williams is gonna get murdered. He's gonna get killed behind this offensive line. I'm actually like worried that even if Caleb Williams, I still believe in Caleb Williams. I don't know if Caleb Williams will survive because the offensive line is that bad.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl

Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. Guaranteed. Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. That's, I I believe it end the season. Tip of the pinky. If the Falcons somehow win this game on Monday night, I have to also have the Rams.

Josh Allen is the only quarterback in the NFL other than Patrick Mahomes worth taking over everyone else

I don't think there's a guy besides Patrick Mahomes that you would take over Josh Allen. He's played awesome in two games so far. And this was supposed to be kind of a reset year for the Bills... He's still Josh Allen. That's what having a franchise quarterback looks like.

Tua Tagovailoa should consider retiring now that he is financially set

I am very glad that Tua [Tagovailoa] got a contract this season. Because now it takes all the financial reasons away from Tua for him to decide whether or not he wants to keep playing football... I would not be surprised if he was like, I'm done playing football because what, this is the third time that we've seen the fencing reflex from him.

Amon-Ra St. Brown is the ultimate 'bounce back' bet following a bad game

Amon-Ra St. Brown is one of those guys that I put in the category, if he has a bad game, just bet everything the next game that he's going to be awesome. Because we've met him, we've had him on the show. He doesn't feel like the type of guy that takes a bad performance... A performance where he doesn't catch the ball a lot or get a touchdown, I feel like he takes that very personally.

I made the biggest bet of the season on the Colts -3 because Malik Willis is starting for the Packers

Biggest bet of the season. I know it's early, but so far biggest bet of the season on the Colts... This is strictly a bet against Malik Willis... I don't think that there are 21 other guys. I think it's just an entire team of Malik Willises this week.

NFL safeties should be worth a red zone start for the opponent rather than just two points

I think the perfect thing to do for a safety instead of two points, which we agree is not enough points for a safety. Give the ball to the offense on the one yard line. Or to the other team... so if you get tackled in your own end zone, it's a turnover. The other team gets the ball on the one.

The Giants-Commanders Week 2 loser is officially the worst team in the division

This is a true 'ass' bowl where the team who loses this game, if, especially if they lose it significantly, they're truly ass... A loss for [the Commanders], you still have Jaden Daniels... a loss for the Giants, you're like, we thought we'd be bad, but we're worse.

Joe Burrow's wrist injury is 100% physical and he is lying about being 'good'

I disagree with you that it's mental, not physical. I think it's physical. No, I think it's 100% physical, physical, physical. And that when Joe Burrow says he's good, he knows he's not good and he's pissed off that he is not good.

Winning games matters more than Caleb Williams' individual progression right now

I would take the win [over progression from Caleb Williams]... Because the progression will come. Winning games is the best. I don't care how it happens. Get me to 2-0. What you and I [Max]... best case scenario, both things happen. But if he doesn't have a great game, having a win is a nice consolation prize.

The perfect length for a round of golf is 12 holes

I've always said 18 holes is too many... I think it's 12. Because like the 'black out', right? 13 through 17... 12 is 'cause 12 also is like, you could go golf and be done in two and a half hours. And that's like, for me personally, I would love to golf more, but I can't be like, hey to my wife, like, hey, I'm, I'm gone for next six hours.

Lactose intolerance is a sign of weakness and most people who claim it are 'pussies'

I think lactose intolerant people are just pussies. I just, when people are like, I can't eat that ice cream. I'm lact— shut the fuck up. Eat the ice cream. If you need an EpiPen, I respect you. If you are, if you like, oh, I got a little diarrhea, dude, that's my whole life is eating too much ice cream and getting diarrhea.

The 49ers are still awesome and Aaron Rodgers has limited mobility but his arm is still there

The two biggest takeaways I had was the 49ers are still fucking awesome and Aaron Rodgers—well, limited running, he doesn't have the same mobility. His arm is still there. He can still rip it.

I am officially ranking Georgia as the number one team in the country

Georgia's my number one team. Texas two, Ohio State's three. Tennessee, Penn State, USC, Miami, Alabama, Ole Miss, Missouri, Iowa State... and Northern Illinois.

Texas is actually the best team in the country, not Georgia

I got Texas [at number one]... The way that they looked against Michigan, the final score, I don't think, does that game justice. It could have been a lot worse. Texas is very good.

Michigan is a flawed team that will only win seven or eight games this year

I think Michigan is very bad, or flawed. They're gonna win seven or eight games. They're in trouble offensively. I think it's horrifically bad offensively.

The wheels are officially going to fall off for Deion Sanders and Colorado

The wheels could fall off [at Colorado]. Oh yeah, the wheels could fall off. I mean I think the wheels are gonna fall off.

The Celtics are attacking the next title rather than defending the old one

Joe Mazzulla, Celtics coach, was doing an interview and they asked him about how he feels about defending the title and he basically just took down the term forever. He said the phrase 'defending a title' is a very passive-aggressive term. If you look at the animal kingdom, some of the strongest animals don't defend—they're the most aggressive and they attack the most. So we're attacking the title.

Nikocado Avocado's two-year weight loss reveal was a genius strategy

He's been posting videos for the last two years where he's large... then this week he posted a reveal stating that he prerecorded two years worth of mukbangs and has been putting them out periodically and just losing all the weight... this is actually incredible.

Deshaun Watson is a disgusting human being who also happens to stink at quarterback

Either he is the victim of the biggest, most coordinated, most ruthless smear campaign against an individual maybe in the history of sports, or he's a disgusting human being who should be in jail. Either way he stinks at quarterback.

People will stop visiting Orlando entirely if the airport removes its Chili's

I am taking up a new fight. They're changing the Orlando airport and the Chili's is going to be gone in 2025. We're not gonna let this happen... I predict that people are gonna stop visiting Orlando, Florida entirely because of this. There's no amusement found in Orlando [without it].

Winning the Olympic gold medal was a more special experience than winning the Masters

I think the Olympics is probably a pretty tough one to beat... green jacket is something that I always grew up dreaming about... but when you get the green jacket, there's a lot of rules. Whereas the gold medal, there's no real rules. The amount of people that have seen the gold medal, taken a picture with the gold medal, that part's been really fun.

Donald Trump did not actually get shot because his ear regenerated too quickly

No, he did not get shot... His ear is fully recovered... Have you seen pictures of his ears? A closeup of his ear currently? Evander Holyfield's ear has not regenerated. Trump is totally fine.

Jalen Carter is a dirty player who tried to injure Jordan Love

The grass had nothing to do with that injury. You can blame Jalen Carter for being dirty, dirty player. Trying to injure people. Yeah. I think that would be the more, more the blame.

The Green Bay Packers are considering Colin Kaepernick as a bridge quarterback

Part of My Take is reporting that Colin Kaepernick is in consideration by some to be the Green Bay Packers Bridge quarterback. Yes. So Jordan Love returns.