Takes

The Colts will trade for Carson Wentz and reunite him with Frank Reich

Carson Wentz. Frank Reich and Carson Wentz. Bring them back together.

The Cleveland Browns will beat the Chiefs in the divisional round

I think that the Browns are going to win too. I really do... so I feel like the Browns, this could be the year for them.

Philip Rivers will struggle against the Bills because he stinks in cold weather

Philip Rivers playing in temperature under 32 degrees, 1-5 all time. I'm really just going off of closing my eyes, thinking about a 29-degree day, thinking about Phil Rivers wearing 16 pairs of long johns and turtlenecks, and him trying to climb the pocket and pass the ball to the far hash, and it just not getting it.

The Colts only win if Jonathan Taylor rushes for over 210 yards

If there's a way that the Colts win, it's by Jonathan Taylor running for 225 yards. But barring that, if he gets under 200 yards, then the Bills will win. Every single time Jonathan Taylor has rushed for over 210 yards in a game, the Colts win.

Brian Daboll will be hired as a head coach after this season

He's [Josh Allen] going to get Daboll hired, man. Brian Daboll is going to get it. That dude is a dude's dude, and I know that him and Josh are really tight, and he's absolutely going to get a really good job off this.

The Bills and Chiefs are the biggest threats to the Packers winning a title

I think the teams truly to worry for the Green Bay Packers are in the AFC. I think it's the Chiefs with their ability to score really fast. And I think it's the Buffalo Bills because Josh Allen somehow grew a hose in the last offseason and can throw the ball at any point in time.

Snapchat will eventually be used to blackmail future politicians

I think Snapchat is going to have a huge blackmail on future politicians... You have a bunch of dumb 14-year-olds and teenagers and stuff, and then in the future they might be important people and there's a whole cloud of data... I think there will be a scandal that happens in the next 20 years where a Comcast or a major internet service provider just gets hacked or they release a bunch of documents and it's just everybody's search history and internet history.

Tua Tagovailoa has bust tendencies and the Dolphins should draft a quarterback at number three

To [Tua], I think it might be a bust. Well, he has, he has bust tendencies right now... You're not going to be back in the top three for a long time. Take the quarterback and Tua still has a ton of value. Like if you want to trade Tua, I bet you can get a second round pick for him at least.

The Buffalo Bills are a wagon and will play in the AFC Championship game

The Bills are a wagon... I like the Bills. One of the Bills we're going to go to the AFC championship game. They just are. I'm not getting to the bills are gonna play in the AFC championship game.

The Buffalo Bills will beat the Chiefs in the playoffs and go to the Super Bowl

I think that the Buffalo bills could very well beat the Chiefs. In fact, it definitely can. I think that the Buffalo bills will beat the chiefs in the playoffs. Wow. I'm going to be the first. I'm going to be the first that I heard. Say it to say it. Okay. The Buffalo bills are going to the super bowl.

Dwayne Haskins will start another game in the NFL

I guarantee you, I will bet you a thousand dollars that [Haskins] will start another game. It might be a situation where he's a back up and gets in at the start because of an injury.

Aaron Rodgers is going to win the MVP and he deserves it

Aaron Rodgers is the MVP... I have to just sit here and say, he is most likely going to win the MVP. It's probably deserved. The Packers look awesome.

Amazon will eventually buy the entire NFL

Amazon is going to buy the entire NFL eventually. You think it was a one-off [the Amazon game]? It is not. Amazon is going to buy the entire NFL.

The Ravens are officially the team that no one wants to play in the playoffs

I think the Ravens officially have become the team no one wants to play. We cast them off and now I think they are officially the team no one wants to play in the playoffs. I really do.

2021 will be the year of hard bodies

Hard bodies in 2021. What does that mean? We're just going to get hard. Hell yeah. By the end of 2021, you will be able to bounce a quarter off my abs and ass. We're the next generation of being hard.

If the Titans can't run the ball down the Packers' throat, the Packers are frauds

This game to me is everything. Unfortunately it is everything. Because if the Titans can't run the ball down the Packer's throat and score at will, I'm going to start having very bad feelings about the Packers being frauds.

The Bills are good enough to beat the Chiefs and win the Super Bowl

The team that we've seen from the Bills in the last two weeks, they could beat the Chiefs in the playoffs. Yes. If everything goes correctly, like their defense is good enough, Josh Allen is fucking hard enough.

Billy Football will fight Jose Canseco as my champion

I have found a champion in my place. Learn the game of Thrones, Jose. Ever heard of it? My champion is Billy Football. I will have him fight in lieu of me... Billy is fighting for my honor. He's your fall guy, right? I am a coward, hand up, whatever. But I have my champion. He is Billy Football. He will fight in my place.

The Raiders will finish the 2020 season with a 7-9 or 8-8 record

I think we've willed it to happen a little early here, because they're not, they're going to finish probably seven and nine again or eight and eight.

The Buccaneers will lose to the Falcons because of special teams COVID issues

To me that seems like this seems like a heartbreaking type loss for Tampa Bay, special teams, the most important of all the units... it's not ideal to go into a division game... and then have your kicker and the person that hikes the ball to your kicker beyond the IR.

The best path for Texas A&M into the playoffs is an Alabama blowout of Florida and a Notre Dame win over Clemson

I think A&M has one path and one path only, and that is Alabama clobbers Florida and Notre Dame beats Clemson. But the thing is if Notre Dame does beat Clemson, I think they're gonna be in, I think A&M would be in because I just can't picture who else they put in.

Alabama will beat Florida by 40 points in the SEC Championship

I actually think they'll win by 40. A lot better game out of Florida than we saw last week. I just don't know that they are talented enough to beat Alabama.

Cody Parkey will miss a big kick in a playoff game and ruin the Browns' season

Cody Parkey will fuck you in the face. If the Browns make the playoffs, there is no sure bet in the entire world, then Cody Parkey doing this to the Browns. Cody Parkey will miss the big kick in a playoff game for the Browns and the Browns we'll have no one to blame, but themselves because everyone has alerted you.

Giannis will eventually want out of Milwaukee if they suffer more early playoff exits

If they get bounced, like for years in a row, he'll be like, yeah, I'm out. He still has an out because it's the NBA and any player can say, I want out at any time.

The Buffalo Bills are the only team that can beat the Chiefs

The Bills, I feel like, are the team that can beat the Chiefs. They're not going to, but I feel like they're the one team... They need Josh Allen to play his perfect game. They need their defense to play their perfect game.

Dan Bailey is likely out of a job after missing four kicks

Dan Bailey, you probably don't have a job... Mike Zimmer's quote was, at this point, we're not really worried about feelings anymore. There you go. So I'd say, Dan Bailey, you probably don't have a job.

The Bears can make the playoffs if they win out

The Bears, if they win out, they could actually get back into this thing. It's crazy. It's stupid... If they win out and the Cardinals lose one of their last three, they would be in over the Cardinals.

The Broncos will be my team to make the playoffs next year if they find a quarterback

The Broncos, I'll call it right now, are going to be my team to make the playoffs next year after missing it this year... If they can find a quarterback, I will be in on the Broncos next year big time.

Derrick Henry is on pace for 2,000 rushing yards

I'm officially putting a 2K watch on Derrick Henry right now. He's got 1,532 rushing yards. He's got three games left. He plays the Lions. The Packers... then the Texans... three games, he could get it.

Aaron Rodgers has a stranglehold on the NFL MVP race

Aaron Rodgers takes a stranglehold on the MVP... I officially want to hop in front of a bus. Rodgers MVP. Fuck.

US Soccer is 'back' and will be a threat in Qatar 2022

US soccer's back big time... Gio Reyna scored an amazing goal... him and Pulisic are tearing up European soccer. So I'm confident in the U.S.'s chances in 2022 in Qatar.

Cam Newton might retire after this season

I don't know, I think Cam Newton might retire after this year.

The Bills are going to crush the Steelers

I think the Bills are going to crush them, actually.

The Giants will win the NFC East if Daniel Jones stays healthy

If old Peyton Manning clone Daniel Jones can stay healthy, man, they'll win that division.

Alex Smith will be the Washington quarterback in 2021

I think Alex Smith will be there. He'll be the quarterback next year. And then they will draft a guy because Ron Rivera clearly wants his own quarterback.

I will run a sub-4.8 40-yard dash at the NFL Combine

I ran a 4.79 when I was in high school. ... I think we can easy target for [sub-4.8].

The NFC East might get three teams into the playoffs

I crunched numbers... I went on the ESPN playoff machine for like an hour until I got the equation right. And if Tampa Bay ties the Vikings this week, then the Eagles could also get in... We might get three teams in [the playoffs] Big Cat.

Coach K will pull Duke from the season if they continue to lose bad games

I would not be surprised at all if after, like, a month and a few more bad losses, Coach K pulled his team from the season... once he gets a little losing streak going, he is definitely liable to be like, listen, we're not going to go through the motions. The most important thing is keeping these kids healthy.

Noah Fant will be an awesome tight end for his second NFL team

I have a take on Noah Fant. I think that Noah Fant is going to be an awesome tight end when he goes to his second team. Yes. That dude is, like, he is baby Eric Ebron... He's just waiting for somebody that – or, like, a decent offense that can get him the ball occasionally.

The Saints will 'peak too early' if they beat the Chiefs in two weeks

If the Saints beat the Chiefs in two weeks, they will officially have peaked too early. That will be the official moment where it's like, nope, can't have that. Peek too early. The Saints are going to fall apart in the playoffs because they've already done their best football.

8-8 will make the playoffs in the NFC this year

8-8, 9-7 will get to the playoffs in the NFC this year. It falls off a deep end because of how bad the NFC East is collectively... I actually do think 8-8 can make the playoffs with the way the Cardinals are playing and with the way the Bears have just fallen off.

Carson Wentz will be the Colts' quarterback next season and will be good again

No, he's going to be a Colt... Phillip Rivers is not obviously going to be there for more than maybe a year more... And he'll get reunited with Frank Reich and be behind a good offensive line. They've got a couple nice little young weapons. So he will be a Colt. And guess what? Unfortunately for Philly fans, he's going to be good. He will be good again.

BYU has a zero percent chance of getting into the College Football Playoff

I have something against people who think that BYU has any chance, any chance, like not even a .001% chance of getting into the college football playoff... BYU is not getting in.

I am 75% sure Sean McVay will win a Super Bowl in Los Angeles

Let me say that the Rams will pull it together. And I would say, a 75% yes that McVay's stay in Los Angeles will produce a Super Bowl victory.

The Eagles will win the NFC East because of their tie with the Bengals

I still think the Eagles tie against the Bengals may give them the decider when it's all said and done... a half win is better than a full loss.

The Washington Football Team will win the NFC East and beat the Cardinals in the playoffs

I officially care, and I think that they're going to beat the Steelers on Monday... I think that the football team is going to win the division at 6-10, maybe even 7-9. I think that we're going to win a home playoff game against the Arizona Cardinals.

The Steelers have zero chance of winning the Super Bowl

It's the Steelers to win the Super Bowl 55 to 1 and I'm sitting here watching them go 11 and 0 and being like, well, it doesn't really matter... In the back of my head, I'm like, no chance. Zero percent chance.

Doug Pederson has officially entered the process of being fired

Doug Pederson has officially started the process of getting fired. And I say that because Doug Peterson said afterwards he prides himself on calling plays. But for the first time, he's mentioned that a change in play caller could be on the table.

RG3 will definitely get injured during his start for the Ravens against the Steelers

RG3, we talked about this before the show. RG3 is absolutely going to get injured. I hope that he doesn't. But, I mean, I've never been so confident.

I would bet against the Colts in the playoffs because they are the quintessential 'everything has to be perfect' team

Remind me to please bet against the Colts in the playoffs. Because they are the quintessential everything-has-to-be-perfect team. They have to play from a lead. They have to protect Phillip Rivers. They've got to be able to run the ball, which they weren't able to do pretty much any of those things today.