Takes

The Cleveland Browns have found their quarterback in Baker Mayfield

I love Baker Mayfield... he was so calm and cool about it like he didn't get mad he was just like you're a fucking idiot man and so Cleveland I think you found your quarterback.

Puma is on a five-year comeback in the sports world

I think Puma's going to be on the comeback. Remember when players started going to Adidas a few years ago? Everyone was kind of shitting on it... Now Adidas is back. Puma's on the five-year come-up.

A team outside of the lottery will trade up to draft Luka Doncic

A team outside of the lottery trades up for Doncic. [Big Cat: Ooh, I like that.]

LeBron James will not go to the Western Conference because he wants to make the Finals every year

I'm not buying the idea that LeBron wants to play in the West. I think that it's still very – LeBron's, like, claim to fame is that he always makes the finals. And that's very much in jeopardy.

The Todd Haley and Ben Roethlisberger relationship will not work out in Cleveland

I don't think the Todd Haley, Ben Roethlisberger situation is going to work out... Todd Haley is so detestable he makes Ben Roethlisberger a sympathetic figure. That's incredible.

Don't bet against Russia in the World Cup because FIFA always lets host dictators win for propaganda

I wouldn't bet against Russia. ... FIFA... they've got a history of dropping [the World Cup] into the hornet's nest of dictators looking for an easy propaganda win. ... I wouldn't bet against Russia.

Spain will win the 2018 World Cup

America will love the circus. So who's going to win? Spain will win. Spain's going to win.

Andrew Luck is never actually going to throw an NFL football again

[Andrew Luck] is proving our theory of that arrow paradox, the Schrodinger's arrow. He's never going to actually throw a football. He's just getting incrementally closer and closer and closer to throwing NFL football.

LeBron James will not sign with the Houston Rockets because he hates the city

Houston is my hot seat because the word on the street from, directly from LeBron James' lips. During the season when they were in Houston, he hates Houston as a city... The strip malls? The congestion? When you pull up Google Maps and it's just a ring of red... I believe that he hates Houston. I'm taking them off. We're officially taking them off the Pardon My Take big board for LeBron.

LeBron James is signing with the Lakers now that Bronny has enrolled in an LA school

Gary Payton, recurring guest Gary Payton, is saying that LeBron, Bronnie Jr. has enrolled at a school, private school in L.A... My two favorite things about free agency... is school updates where the kids are going to go to school and then realtor updates. Who's looking for houses where?

The Ravens are using a two-QB package as a passive-aggressive way to bench Joe Flacco

The Ravens just blew our minds. They're working on a package that has two quarterbacks on the field at the same time... This is the passive-aggressive Ravens way of just like, kind of easing [Joe Flacco] out. Just like having the formation change slowly until Lamar Jackson is standing directly in front of him on every snap.

Drake is laying low following the Pusha T beef and will likely return with a response

[Drake] could use a friend right now. I wouldn't say he's dead. I would say he's probably laying low... I definitely feel in his defense that something was either made or another track was either made in the process and something is like—you've got to look at it as a business too. Is it even worth kind of replying back to Pusha T?

The Cleveland Browns will be an exciting team this season with Baker Mayfield

Cleveland might be one of the most exciting teams in football this year just because they've got so much going on and then they get Baker potentially... If they go 7-9 this year versus, but if they go 2-14, it's kind of as expected.

Kyrie Irving wants to leave Boston for the New York Knicks

There's a lot of rumblings coming out of Boston right now that Kyrie Irving might be thinking about going somewhere else after next season... Kyrie has always had his eyes on New York, and so he's always wanted to be a Nick.

Uruguay will win the 2018 World Cup

I'll take Uruguay. Luis Suarez. I actually put a little money on that, so we'll see how that goes.

The Capitals are going to win only nine games next year and I am fine with it

I wouldn't be surprised if the Washington Capitals won nine games next year. And I'm totally fine with that. I am 100% fine with them absolutely crapping themselves because it was all worth it.

The Colts are favorites to finish second in the AFC South behind the Jaguars

the Colts, just in general, are back this year. I think you've got to pencil them in as favorites to come in second in that division behind the Jaguars.

If Kevin Durant and LeBron James switched teams, the Warriors would still sweep the Finals

I think the Warriors win the title and sweep in the finals.

Colin Sexton will be a better NBA point guard than Trae Young

It hurts me to say it, but probably Colin Sexton. Just because Colin Sexton, that dude... he has that drive and the intangibles and all that kind of stuff that people go nuts for. Manalytics... Failure is not an option. I really like Trae Young. I hope it works out... but everyone thinks Trae Young is going to be Steph Curry again, and the margin of error is, I don't think you understand how hard it is to be Steph Curry.

Mikal Bridges will be the 'Donovan Mitchell' of the 2018 draft who steps in and doesn't miss a beat

I would say Mikal Bridges is the best that could probably step in and he's not going to be like as good as Jason Tatum or Donovan Mitchell probably. But, uh, I don't know. He can give you something like right away and you can like see, see it right away... that guy could jump on an NBA court right this second and not miss a beat.

The US Men's National Team would have had a strong showing in the World Cup if they had qualified

I believe that we would have had a strong showing in the World Cup had we qualified for it and not lost to Trinidad and Tobago, based on the results of this friendly [against France].

The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup again next year

The only reason you're going to feel like it was lame is because the Caps are probably going to win again next year, and you're going to be like, we're used to this, right?

The Arizona Diamondbacks will play the Boston Red Sox in the World Series

D-Backs, Red Sox.

Hofburg and Vino Rosso are the best horses to bet on to beat Justify

I think the two best horses to be betting on in this Belmont are Hofburg and Vino Rosso... Ten of the last 18 years, the Belmont has been won by horses that ran on Kentucky Derby weekend, skipped the Preakness, and waited for the Belmont to be rested.

LeBron James will NOT sign with the New York Knicks or Miami Heat

I am officially reporting lebron james will not be going to the new york knicks... I'm going to report that LeBron James will not be returning to the Miami Heat.

The Capitals will win the Stanley Cup in five games

This series is fucking over. Done. Done. Over, finished, no chance. They're not even going to get a single more game. It's going to be 4-1. Caps in 5.

The Capitals will suffer the biggest championship hangover ever and miss the playoffs next year if they win the Cup

If Ovechkin wins the Stanley Cup, I am predicting the biggest championship hangover of all time in — we're not even making the playoffs next year. No, I bet he's going to score five goals next year because he's going to spend the entire summer on a yacht in the Caspian Sea just having hookers and blow just delivered to him by Putin.

The Cavaliers will win Game 3 of the NBA Finals

The NBA Finals are off. I don't know when they're coming back, but who even — I mean, the Cavs are going to win game three. I'm going to say it right now.

LeBron James will not join the Houston Rockets in free agency

By the way, I know it's one of the odds-on favorites for LeBron James, but do we want to just get real risky with it and say LeBron James not going to the Houston Rockets?

The Cleveland Cavaliers are dead

Today is Monday, June 4th and the Cleveland Cavaliers are dead. So, so dead.

I think the Cavaliers will win one game at home

I do think the Cavs will win a game at home. But that was like... When David West is hitting threes, when JaVale McGee and Sean Livingston go 11 for 11 from the field... It's not even fair.

Steph Curry could finally win Finals MVP to get the torch passed to him

But the big knock on Steph Curry was he was never the best guy in the finals when his teams won. And tonight he was the best guy for the Warriors. So now Steph Curry, could he finally get the torch passed to him for an offseason by winning an MVP?

The Cavs are going to get swept after J.R. Smith's Game 1 mistake

There's no recovery from that [J.R. Smith play]. None whatsoever. They're going to get swept.

The Washington Capitals are a team of destiny

We're going to talk about how the Washington Capitals, our Washington Capitals, are a team of destiny? Yes. ... Cap's got this. They're just stronger. Stronger, faster?

Seattle will get an NBA team back by 2020 or 2021

I think so. I think it's like 2021 or 2020 is going to happen. I know we've just got to prove for our arena to get done. We've got a hockey team coming in there. That's all what the NBA wants.

LeBron James will take a gap year from the NBA if the 2018 Finals go poorly

Today is June 1st, 2018. Stamp it. I am predicting that if LeBron James, if the finals don't go exactly how he wants them to go in his head, in his head only, LeBron James is going to take a year off.

The Golden State Warriors will win the NBA Finals in six games

I'll say Warriors in six. Yeah, I'll say, like, something, you know, a couple of a game there. The Warriors are an incredibly, like, arrogant team, for good reason, but... They will screw around. They will screw around in a game and lose it.

This might actually be the Washington Capitals' year to win the Stanley Cup

Today is Friday, May 25th, and might actually be the Caps year. Like, it's still shocking that they're in the Stanley Cup Finals. And I'm not saying this in a mean way because I, too, root for and have rooted for loser franchises, but, like, the Caps were a loser franchise. So to get over that mountain, it takes a lot.

Both NBA Conference Finals series are going to Game 7

We're going to have two Game 7s. I'm just going to say that right now. We're going to have two Game 7s. The Rockets are not dead. I think we're going to get two game sevens. I really do.

The Celtics will win their series in six or seven games

I think they're going to win six. And I think if they don't, they'll still win game seven.

LeBron James will eventually return to Cleveland in five years as a player-owner

I don't think [this is his last game in Cleveland] because he's going to sign another contract somewhere else and then he's going to do another big announcement and come back to Cleveland in like five years. He's going to come back and he's going to be the first player owner for his last season.

The Warriors will still win the series against the Rockets

I still think the Warriors are going to win the series, but it's not because of a lack of analytics.

The Celtics will win Game 5 and eventually the series in 6 games

I think the Celtics are going to win Game 5 in a close one, and that's going to break LeBron and the Cavs. They're going to go back to Cleveland, win Game 6, just like I said before.

I am officially worried the Capitals will lose Game 7 to the Lightning

I am worried. I am very worried. And the reason why is I saw this coming a mile away. I knew the Caps were going to lose Game 5. I knew they were going to win Game 6 just so that they could lose Game 7 in my face.

Lauri Markkanen will average 50 points per game by his eighth season

Dirk's peak was 26 points per game. If you do the math, by Lauri's eighth season, he's going to be averaging 50 points a game.

Ben Roethlisberger will play another five years

And I think with Randy Fichtner as the quarterback coach now and coordinator, [Ben Roethlisberger] will play five years.

I will get a tattoo of Blake Bortles' face if the Jaguars win the Super Bowl

I proclaimed tonight that if you win the Super Bowl, I will get a tattoo of your face somewhere on my body. Wrist, preferably.

The Cavs will win Game 4 against the Celtics

I fully expect the Cavs to win game four as well. I think this series is gonna go seven because I do really think that like Kyle Korver and J.R. Smith and Tristan Thompson they just need to be... sleeping in their own bed and then they can make shots.

I'm putting money on the Cavs to win the series now

I would say that if I'm a betting man, I'm putting money on the Cavs for the series now.

No one is beating the Golden State Warriors

The Celtics aren't going to be able to beat the Warriors. No one's beating the Warriors.