Takes

Caleb Williams would be the first overall pick in the 2023 draft if he were eligible

Caleb Williams... He'd be the first pick in this year's draft if he could come out... there's not a clear cut. If he was in this draft it would be Caleb Williams and then everybody else. He's that good.

Bruce Arians was never wrong; even if he was berating you in front of your peers, he wouldn't do it unless you actually screwed up.

Even if he's embarrassing you in front of the media or in front of your teammates, at the end of the day, if the guy's right and you are incorrect, it kind of just is okay because he wouldn't do it unless you screwed up... He was never wrong. So he got on you, he was hard on you, but it's because you deserved it.

Age and gender do not matter in pickleball

I'm telling you, if you play pickleball, you know that age, gender doesn't matter. Everyone plays together. Age is not a thing in pickleball. If you're good, you're good, you can hang.

Jimmy Butler is officially back to being the most underrated player in the NBA

Jimmy Butler is officially back to being maybe the most underrated player in the nba in the playoffs. It's playoff Jimmy.

I'm officially on the 'Lakers might be really good' train

LeBron proved that he's still got a lot of gas in the tank. And I am officially on like, Lakers might be really, really good watch.

Jordan Love is not that guy

Jordan Love not that guy. I'm just gonna enjoy it until he proves that he eventually obviously is gonna become that guy. Cause that's what the Packers do. But I have a little window here where I can talk shit and be like, maybe I'll be right.

The Pittsburgh Pirates are actually a really good baseball team

Just tip of the cap to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Yeah. With the Sacramento Kings doing that nba, they've been made fun of. They've been bad. The pirates have been awful. And they're... the pirates are really good. The Pittsburgh Pirates.

The 2023 NFL draft class features the best tight end group in over 20 years

This might be the best tight end group that I've been a part of in the NFL draft in 22 years of doing it. Everyone knows about Dalton Kincaid from Utah... Michael Mayer from Notre Dame is gonna be a stud... Luke Musgrave, Sam LaPorta... the list goes on and on.

CJ Stroud is definitively the best pure pocket passer in the 2023 NFL draft class

I mean, find me a better tape than [CJ] Stroud versus Georgia. I mean, that's an NFL defense. And what he did, he just ripped them apart. He almost ended the Georgia run. And I just think he's the best pure pocket passer in the class.

Dillon Brooks is an all-time fraud and a fake tough guy

Dylan Brooks is an all-time fraud. He is a fraud. He's a fake tough guy. He decided that he wanted to be a villain... but you have to at least own up to the fact that not only did you touch LeBron James in the penis, but you also shot your team out... You are a complete fraud when it comes to this stuff.

Dillon Brooks has not demonstrated the body of work required to be a real NBA villain

You can't just say like, I'm a villain now. That's too, it's, you have to demonstrate a body of work to become a villain. And he hasn't done that yet. He's not built up the rap sheet necessary to become a true villain.

You cannot win high-level basketball with Spencer Dinwiddie as a focal point

If you actually play with [Spencer Dinwiddie], you realize like, this dude, we cannot win with this guy.

The Kawhi Leonard and Paul George pairing is in the running for biggest bust of a dream pairing ever

The Clippers dream team is, they're in the running for like biggest bust of a dream pairing ever. Right?

Chris Paul's career will be a failure if he doesn't win a title this year

Chris Paul looks fantastic and it would be an utter disappointment if he didn't win a championship this year. Like complete, complete career defining disappointment... he's a 'Yeah but' guy at that point.

The Celtics' loss to the Hawks was just a wake-up call, they are fine

It was a good wake up call. They can't play defense like that to win in the playoffs. They got, you know, it was a wake up call. They, and now they're good back on track.

Chris Webber's timeout is the ultimate 'ball don't lie' moment in sports history

The Chris Webber timeout thing... that fake timeout that didn't exist, that is maybe the ultimate 'ball don't lie' moment. Because Webber got the ball on the inbounds pass and he traveled, he clearly walked, the refs didn't call it. And then he goes down and does [the timeout]. That's number one.

Steph Curry is no longer underrated; he is now perfectly rated

There was a portion [where he was underrated]... recently when they missed the playoffs. But then I think last year was it. There's no one that underrates him anymore. Right now he's exactly correctly rated. Perfect. He's the perfect rated right now.

Draymond Green is on another level defensively and changes games more than people realize

I don't think, because he gets talked about for all the other shit... sometimes we forget how, just how game changing he is defensively and his passing.

You should bet every NHL playoff game to go into overtime

I hope there's people listening that listen to me. I didn't listen to myself. But if you bet it [overtime], it cashed a lot. So I hope people listened and bet it.

Liver knockouts are the best type of knockout in combat sports

There was also a sick, sick liver knockout. Which is my favorite type of knockout. It is the best. I love to just watch YouTube compilations of liver knockouts because... you get hit in the stomach and then you take two steps back and then it's just debilitating pain that just paralyzes you.

Joel Embiid falling down on purpose is better for his body's health

The falling is good. The falling is good. Memes and I were watching a video on it... he chooses to fall because it's better for his body. See, you wouldn't understand.

Game 3 against the Grizzlies is LeBron James' first true legacy game

It is now, I'm gonna say it right now. Game three for LeBron is a legacy game. His first ever legacy game. His entire legacy if he doesn't score 40.

Karl-Anthony Towns is the 'worst best guy' in the NBA

Is Karl Anthony Towns just the, the worst like, best guy in the league. He's gotta be right. He probably the worst, best... He's so good. And he also sucks at the exact same time, right? He's the yeah, he's the best player that sucks.

I will smoke crack if the Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

I'll smoke crack if the, if the [Maple Leafs] win the Stanley Cup. How about that? I'll match. I'll take a hit of secondhand crack.

I am paying for Twitter Blue because I earned my checkmark as a journalist and don't want to lose it

I have no shame in paying for it because I earned it. We have the slogan of flags fly forever. I earned my check mark a few years ago, so I'm not just gonna let someone take away from it. I grew up on Twitter hoping to have a blue check mark and one day I got it. So like, here we go. I'm keeping it.

CJ Stroud is a risky draft pick because he is an Ohio State quarterback

CJ Stroud is a very good QB. Very, very good. The only thing is that I got against him is that he's an Ohio State quarterback. And how many really great Ohio State quarterbacks we've seen coming out that just haven't really panned out

Bryce Young is too small and has a slender frame that will lead to injuries

I get the Bryce Young hype. I get it. The thing is... you can't put 30 pounds on Bryce Young. His frame is, his frame is just, it does, it's not gonna work. If you look at his frame, he's slender at the shoulders... Because of that, like, he's gonna be more injury prone.

Draymond Green should not have been suspended for his Game 2 stomp on Domantas Sabonis

I don't think he should have been suspended for it because he got, he got his foot grabbed and it wasn't even that hard of a stomp. Yeah, he's a big guy and you probably shouldn't step on another man's sternum intentionally, but at the same time, like his foot was being grabbed, you gotta get the guy off you somehow. I think it should have been a flagrant, I don't think he should have been suspended.

Playoff James Harden is dead

My take of playoff James Harden is dead, died last night cuz he was so bad. I was so excited after Saturday and then last night, I mean he like didn't even belong on the court.

Soul patches are making a huge comeback this summer

I think the soul patch is the right move. I think soul patches are making a huge comeback. I think one of you guys should lead the charge on that... it's gonna be Soul patch summer.

Russell Westbrook is officially back

As far as, as far as Westbrook goes... Russ Russel Westbrook officially back. I'm sure he's gonna be very consistent with this throughout the rest of this playoff series too.

Pregnant people need to stop using weeks and start talking in months because nobody knows how far along 22 weeks is

My biggest problem with this was that he said 22 weeks and then I had to sit down and break down how pregnant that was my brain by doing math. That's what pissed me off. Just say months... I'm confused again. Four and a half, five months pregnant. That's so just be normal pregnant people. I'm begging you be just talk to me in months. Yes. I don't get weeks.

There should be a maximum age of 65 for the US Presidency

I firmly believe this. If there's one rule that should be put in place right now... there needs to be an age max. You cannot be president past 65 for the first term... you'd have sharper people that could be more aggressive. I want the leader of our country to be a great leader but be able to really affect change.

Austin Reaves is the true alpha on the Lakers

But the real story outta that game was Austin Reaves. Yeah. Austin Reaves. AKA him. He is him.

The Kings winning Game 1 counts as a tournament win for John Calipari because De'Aaron Fox and Malik Monk both scored 30+

Does this count as a tournament win for Cal? Absolutely. Because De'Aaron Fox and Malik Monk, both in their playoff debut, go for over 30... I think Cal should be like, update the record books. The Kings beat the Warriors game one with two of my guys.

The 'pervert' chant at Max Homa is officially canceled and banned

We have to stop saying to Max Homa on the golf course that he's a pervert because it's getting a little weird... permission to shame that person, take a picture and send it to us... no more pervert. That is officially canceled.

The MLB pitch clock makes fans feel rushed and ruins the 'fuck around' time at the stadium

I fucking hate the pitch clock... because I sit down there... I'm trying to chit chat, socialize like how I usually do... I feel like I'm rushed at a table, at a restaurant that's trying to flip table. I want there to be more fuck around time. So if I get food, I don't miss anything.

If you attend a game in person, the MLB pitch clock is bad because you want that time to never stop

I agree with this take for games that you attend in person... when I go to the ballpark and I watch a daytime baseball game, I want that time to never stop... Take me out to the ballgame, it doesn't say I care if I never get back. I want to be able to be unaccounted for the whole day.

If the Bruins don't win the Stanley Cup, it's a complete failure and they'll be a joke

The Bruins are statistically now... most wins in a NHL season... if they don't win the cup, they're kind of like a joke a little bit... it's win or a complete failure.

The NFL has awoken a 'sleeping giant' in Washington D.C. with the sale of the Commanders

All I'm saying is be careful what you wish for NFL, because you have awoken a sleeping giant in Washington DC.

Diar DeRozan single-handedly won the play-in game for the Bulls against the Raptors

Diar DeRozan stole the story of the play-in game on Wednesday night. She single-handedly stopped the Toronto Raptors... She was screaming so loud before every free throw that the Raptors took in a dead silent arena. The Raptors went 18 for 36 from the free throw line. Ended up losing the game by what four? It was she won that game for the Bulls.

Diar DeRozan is the #1 overall NBA daughter

She's great. She's way better than Riley Curry. Yes. Before ranking NBA daughters, I got her one A in my daughter draft. I think that she was, she was great.

Diar DeRozan is a 'secret weapon' that no other team can employ because you can't kick out a player's daughter

Kyrie and Russell Westbrook have taught us that [you can get kicked out for anything]. I don't think you can kick out a player's daughter. She is like, if a guy is just sitting there doing that, I think that a player probably complains and they get kicked out... I think she's a secret weapon that no other team can employ.

The entire future of the Play-In tournament will be decided by the results of Friday night's games

I'm just gonna start grading every playing game. I'm gonna make a judgment on the playing tournament as a whole just based on game to game... Friday we'll decide it's big night. The future of the play in tournament, according to myself, is all gonna come down to Friday night.

Zach Wilson is the 'real winner' of the Jets failing to acquire Aaron Rodgers quickly

You know who's the real winner right now? Zach Wilson... I think for Zach Wilson, the best case scenario is that you don't have to play. More tape is bad tape. Just be a Zach Wilson.

Jim Nantz's defense of Tony Romo suggests there is actually friction between them

I read the quote to you and you tell me if you think there was any smoke to the fire that everyone was talking about... Me think it's the lady doth protest too much... That's like, I'm not mad. Don't say that. I was mad. Please don't write in the newspaper that I was mad.

UConn 'bleeds blue' and is creating its own category beyond traditional Blue Bloods

His thing is like, no, forget the blue blood. You know, we're a program that bleeds blue. Max the bleed blue. So like we're gonna create our own because we've got the five national championships and NBA players for days in the last 20 years. Most of anyone... We don't even wanna be a blue blood. We're our own kind of deal.

The Lakers are the scariest team to ever come out of the play-in tournament

But the Lakers to me are the scariest team to ever come out of the play tournament. Does that mean they're gonna [make] the finals? Of course not, but geez Yeah. LeBron James Anthony Davis. That's a pretty scary seven seed, don't you think?

The 76ers have the most 'legacy at stake' this postseason

Until we see it, you know, it's fair to hang that on [James Harden] a little bit and if there's one player and one team who has sort of a legacy at stake, this postseason... it's the Philadelphia 76ers. And the other one I would say is Doc Rivers is part of that. It's not just James. Doc Rivers hasn't been a great playoff coach in the last five, 10 years either.

If the Heat lose their play-in game to the Bulls, the organization needs to end the current roster era and blow it up

If they lose to this Chicago team, I think it's time to change some things in Miami. And I think whatever era we just watched, which is undeniably successful... might have to end and they might have to make some big changes. So heat culture I think can survive regime changes... but yeah, it seems like we're at the end of a personnel run here if they lose.