Takes

The Penguins faked the Jaromir Jagr bobblehead truck hijacking because they forgot to order them.

I've got a car filled with Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads that I'm trying to get rid of... I don't think the bobbleheads existed. I think maybe I, I think that maybe there were no bobbleheads and the Penguins were like, 'fuck it's bobblehead night, we forgot to order these things.' It's Jussie Smollett head night. They're like, 'well we don't have—oh yeah, the cops, we called the cops, they're looking into it right now.'

The Browns signed Jameis Winston so Joe Flacco's popularity wouldn't overshadow Deshaun Watson

I think they brought in Jameis because they could have resigned Joe Flacco. I think Flacco was too popular... maybe some of Jameis Winston's leadership qualities will motivate Deshaun Watson to be a better human being.

Kirk Cousins is the GOAT of maximizing NFL contracts and free agency earnings

Incredible. I mean like whatever you wanna say about Kirk Cousins a quarterback. He has played every single thing right when it comes to free agency and the teams he picked. He's probably gonna eclipse 400 million over the course of his career. It's crazy.

Tiki Barber is a loser for calling Saquon Barkley 'dead' to him for joining the Eagles

Tiki Barber, you're a loser dude. Dead to me. You are a loser. Some people, particularly radio personalities who will remain nameless, criticize [Tiki] for having a vision or a dream. Also, Tiki Barber... when we talks about like loyalty, you're not the guy to talk about loyalty. That was a crazy reaction by him.

The Bears should not draft Caleb Williams and keep Justin Fields simultaneously

I am very much opposed to that. But that feels like what a potential situation to get the most value outta Justin Fields. It still makes no sense. The city of Chicago can't handle having those two guys on the same roster. It would not be good, let alone the locker room.

NFL owners should pay for their own stadiums without public tax money

I think billionaires should pay for their own fucking stadiums. Agreed. That's a spicy take. I know. Bleep that out. Please.

Aaron Rodgers might run for Vice President with RFK Jr.

Aaron Rodgers might run for Vice President... He's being considered and is considering the opportunity right now. Mr. Kennedy confirmed on Tuesday that the two men [Rodgers and Jesse Ventura] were at the top of his list.

I am not scared of Chicago winters after my first year living there

I just, I don't know. It, it's been incredible. There's been four bad days and two of them had playoff football on. I lived in Massachusetts, New Hampshire. Those are way worse. I'm not scared of the winter here. That's my point.

UConn is the clear front runner for the National Championship

In my eyes [Connecticut] is the best team in the country. They're the front runner for the national championship and they should be. The three losses are at Kansas, to Seton Hall [when Clingan got hurt], and then Creighton had another worldly shooting performance.

Shaka Smart's tournament struggles are real; he hasn't made the second weekend since VCU

Shaka Smart has not made it to the second weekend of the NCAA tournament, guys, since VCU. That's it. That's the only time he's ever made a run. So some would argue: Fade Marquette. Is Shaka gonna be able to break through?

Kentucky has its best chance to make a deep run in years

I think this is [Calipari's] best chance to now break through... There are no excuses for John Calipari. None. This is the week... I'm rooting for a Kentucky Tennessee round three.

Dalton Knecht has the chance to be the face of March Madness

I think [Dalton] Knecht has a chance to be the face of March Madness with the way that he's going, with the way that he's scoring the basketball. He'll be able to score. He's a guy who can be a Doug McDermott, Jimmer Fredette type guy for their team.

Tennessee is a safer Final Four bet than Kentucky because of Dalton Knecht

I would take Tennessee before I took Kentucky... now they've got a guy who can be a Doug McDermott Jimmer Fredette type guy in [Dalton] Knecht. Rick Barnes has crumbled offensively [in the past], now you're not gonna crumble 'cause you know who you're going to.

Indiana State deserves an at-large bid over high-major bubble teams

Josh Schertz at Indiana State... you're better than all these other high majors that are just like decent to okay that are gonna get in because of their schedule. I wanna see Indiana State get to the dance. I'm all in on a two-bid Missouri Valley conference.

Princeton will win a first-round game if they make the tournament

The winner of the Ivy League tournament is gonna be among my top mid-majors. I hope if Princeton makes it again, just take 'em in the first round. They're gonna win a first-round game. That team is back.

The Dolphins' roster is being picked to shreds due to Tua Tagovailoa's upcoming contract

That team has been picked to shreds in large part because they're in cap [trouble], but they're also readying to pay their quarterback. It's one of those guys, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't... I don't know if [Tua] takes you where Mahomes and Allen do.

Justin Fields has no market as a starter in the NFL

I don't think right now there's a starting job for him... The Raiders paid Gardner Minshew rather than making a move to go get Justin Fields. That should speak volumes about what the league thinks about Justin Fields.

Men should never cry after losing a football game

I just don't think you should ever cry after losing a football game. If there was a death in the family or something that week, I apologize, but if there was not, you were crying over the football game... bad luck. There's no way you cry after a loss.

Jayden Daniels will be the best quarterback in the 2024 draft class

My preliminary ranking is, I think Jayden Daniels will be the best of them. He's the most improved player I've ever seen in my entire life. I probably rank him slightly... them and Caleb Williams one and two.

JJ McCarthy is not a first-round talent and is being 'forced up' by the media

I don't love JJ McCarthy. I don't see it. I just don't see it. I'd take him in a second round. I think the league is guilty of... the draft cult. One says it, so two says it... All of a sudden they all convinced themselves that he should be a high first round pick. And that's how mistakes get made.

The Falcons are the favorites to win the NFC South and will win 11 games

I think that they're like a top three, top four team in the NFC right now... having a safe quarterback [Kirk Cousins] I do think makes them the favorite to win that division. I think the Falcons can win 11 games.

The Falcons will not win 11 games in the 2024 season

I don't think [the Falcons win 11 games]. I don't. It's a lot. 11 games is a lot. There's a lot of games. Even inside a division... the bucks are gonna be good. That's tough to get a lot [of wins].

Calvin Ridley's difficulty learning the Jaguars' offense is why he wants to stay in Jacksonville

Here's why he wants to stay in Jacksonville. Let me tell you. He had trouble learning the offense last year and so he doesn't really wanna go somewhere else and have to learn another one. Serious. I'm not... that's notable.

Duke is back to being the worst and perfectly hateable again

Duke is back to being the worst because goddammit, those guys are so hateable and they're right back to where they were. I was nervous... but just that scene choking on senior night against UNC. Those stupid fucking Cameron Crazies that pretend that they're the coolest, best fan base in the world... throwing shit at college players.

College basketball is better when Duke is the villain

College basketball is better when Duke is the villains. So I'm happy for the tournament. I'm excited. Shut everyone up.

John Calipari might have a job at Kentucky for life

I think actually Cal is getting ready to... we have it wrong with the hot seat. His team's playing so well and Kentucky's so exciting. He might get like, can you get a job for the afterlife too? Because he has a job for life.

Tennessee's Dalton Knecht is great offensively but might get shoved around on defense

Dalton Knecht is fucking awesome. So fun to watch. But I'm beginning to think that I might be right about him. He might be able to get, he might be able to get shoved around, especially on defense. He doesn't play a lot of defense. They don't really ask him to play defense either. They just say, go stand out there and try to get in the way of somebody driving at the basket.

The 2021 QB draft class might be the worst of all time

We now have though the 2021 draft in record time might be the worst quarterback draft of all time. Trevor Lawrence number one, Zach Wilson two, Trey Lance three... Mac Jones 15. So there's five quarterbacks drafted in the first 15 picks in that 2021 draft, and four out of five of them just three years or in the fourth year will be on different teams.

Mac Jones has worse vibes than Zach Wilson

I think Mac Jones might have the worst vibes... Mac Jones, like all reports are that he's just been a pouty little bitch. Zach Wilson was a backup quarterback and he should even been playing and he's like 'I'm gonna fucking try my hardest.' I don't know, I don't think it's even close.

Russell Wilson signed with the Steelers partly because black uniforms are slimming

Russell Wilson just released a statement... Black is a very slimming color. So he might've just chosen that purely because of that simple fact. He would've looked very fat in a Giants uniform. I do think that he probably, that had to have at least 10% of the decision making was like, which color do I look best in? Black. If I had to sign with an NFL team right now, I'd probably sign with the Steelers just so that I don't look fat.

Mike Tomlin and Russell Wilson will not get along in Pittsburgh

I'll say this, him and Mike Tomlin are not gonna get along. I just want to call that right now. I think they'll get along for a little bit... and then Mike Tomlin will be like 'this guy's annoying.'

Caleb Williams will be a great franchise quarterback for the Bears

Caleb Williams is gonna be really good. He's gonna be really fucking good in the NFL. He's gonna be really good for the Bears. I feel that in my bones... Everyone just chill out. Caleb Williams is getting drafted by the Bears and he's gonna be a franchise quarterback for the Bears.

Kate Middleton's absence was due to her getting a Brazilian Butt Lift

There's been some speculation about what Kate Middleton's been up to because she had abdominal surgery. Well, that's what people are saying that it might've been just giving her a little bit of that Pippa ass. She's been out of public though. She got a BBL. That's what people were saying. Streets are talking.

Anthony Joshua knocking out Francis Ngannou was great for boxing

Anthony Joshua knocked the fuck out of Francis Ngannou and that feels good for boxing... I am a boxing purist in the fact that I want boxers to always beat people who show up... anyone who shows up into a boxing ring with no boxing training, I want them to lose every time.

Reggie Bush should get his Heisman Trophy back

The Heisman people will do [it], give that Heisman trophy back to Reggie Bush... there's probably half of those guys that won the Heisman Trophy that [got benefits].

Billy Donovan belongs in the Basketball Hall of Fame

One of my biggest disappointments with the Hall of Fame is the fact that [Billy Donovan] is not in it. Because I think there's only five or six programs that have won back to back. He's one of them. And he's had a great playing career. Great coaching career. Now he's in the pros. If anybody deserves the Hall of Fame, it's Billy the Kid.

Dan Hurley is a great coach but his sideline behavior toward refs is annoying

Danny is a tremendous coach. There's things about Danny that bother me. The way he gets on referees bother the hell outta me 'cause he gets calls. But as far as my respect for his coaching ability, he's a great coach. Great coach. Offensively as well as defensively preparation wise, he has all the answers.

American youth basketball has lost the art of the bounce pass

I've been able to get my team to throw bounce passes... in a radius of six to eight feet, you are not allowed to throw chest passes... it has taken so long because they've grown up without throwing a bounce pass. I don't think it's taught at the AAU level.

Reed Sheppard is a top 8 NBA pick and reminds me of Rex Chapman

He's tremendous. He's a great shooter, great passer... He's got a big decision to make. He's probably a top eight pick in the draft. He's the closest thing to the Pat Riley days... the closest thing to a Rex Chapman for Kentucky.

Purdue will win the National Championship this year

I think Purdue's gonna win it. I remember Tony Bennett lost to the 16 seed... following year won a championship. Purdue last year lost to FDU... I feel that it's their year. I think they're gonna win the national championship this year.

I do not like the current state of free agency in college basketball

I'm not enjoying what goes on right now in college basketball... I may be looking at three guys returning next year and I gotta bring in 10. They all become free agents... it's just not something I like. I think Jay Wright got out of it because of that.

Joe Biden should retire from the presidency and enjoy life

I don't wanna do what President Biden's doing at his age. I think he should just enjoy life a little bit. I don't know why he's doing it.

Matthew Slater is the most 'Patriot' Patriot of all time

Matthew Slater... I feel like I'd never seen an interview from him. It was like this guy rocks. He probably knows everything. He was like the unassuming special teams guy... he's the most like Patriot Patriot of all time probably.

The Murray State Racers are the worst team in the country

I wish someone had told me that Murray State Racers were the worst team in the country. Oh, did they? Fuck you. Oh man, they fucked me bad.

Tennessee and Houston are my two picks to win the NCAA Tournament

I'm heavily leveraged in the Volunteers this year. I think Tennessee and Houston are my two picks.

Dalton Knecht might get shoved around by physical teams in March

Watching him play last night, I was thinking to myself like, I could see [Dalton Knecht] getting shoved around in March. I could see like a physical team just like, whoa, Houston putting the, yes, exactly. I could see a tough team like Houston, Kelvin Sampson being like, go out there and beat the fuck outta the skinny guy.

I'm betting $100,000 total against the Oakland Athletics this season

I think I'm gonna bet a hundred thousand dollars total against either the Athletics or the Chicago White Sox every single game this season... officially decided I'm betting a hundred thousand dollars against the Athletics.

The Buffalo Bills need new players who haven't been scarred by losses to Patrick Mahomes

I almost feel like the, the bills could deal with just getting new blood in there that haven't been around for the heartbreaks. Because you carry that baggage with you. If you're a player on that team, if you're a coach on that team, every time you have a heartbreaking loss to Joe Burrow or to Patrick Mahomes. Especially Patrick Mahomes, you kind of, that's a scar that you keep with you for a long time.

LeBron James provided the blueprint for NBA sustainability and professionalism

Every single day of every minute of the day, I was with LeBron James. He showed me how to do everything the right way... Be different. That foundation he gave me with the Miami Heat is probably why I'm sustainable now.

I'm fully in on Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul because Tyson can knock anyone out at any moment

I'm in on this fight. Mike Tyson, one of the most ferocious boxers of all time, could knock anyone out at any moment. And that's how you sell fights. I'm in no matter what and it's free.