Takes

Stephen A. Smith's claim of being a 'bottom feeder' is problematic for not respecting the whole woman

Stephen A. Smith, problematic is the fact that you don't respect women because you should be boobs, butt, and brain. Three Bs. That's the original Big Baller brand. Why are you putting, a woman's body should be put on a pedestal?

MLB is stupid for deleting the Terry Collins viral 'Ass in the Jackpot' video

They finally had a video where people were like, this is awesome. This is fun. ... You should actually start doing that and show just umps and managers yelling at each other about asses in the jackpot. They did the exact opposite because they're MLB. They pulled it.

Learn how to dunk before you turn 30, because you won't be able to after

Learn how to dunk. Like, you're not going to be able to dunk when you're over 30. Because, I mean, if I had tried to dunk, I never tried to dunk under 30. So I don't even know if I could have dunked. I probably could have. Now it's too late.

Jimbo Fisher is a massive upgrade for Texas A&M

[Jimbo Fisher] is a big deal for us. It had been in the works for what seemed like a year and a half... I think we were ready for a little bit of a change and a guy who doesn't happen a lot where you get a coach that leaves from a national championship contending team and goes to a team that wants that.

The Warriors can play only 15 minutes of real basketball and beat anyone in the world

The Warriors can play 15 minutes of Warriors basketball and beat anyone in the world, and they just needed to be pushed a little. And even if you saw their body language going to that game six and seven in Western Conference rounds, they didn't care. They're like, yeah, we're going to still win.

People who think Michael Jordan is better than LeBron James have a real basketball mind

people that love Jordan, it makes it obvious that you're just into the memes and that sort of thing. And those are the people that side with LeBron. That's how I know who actually has a basketball mind. Oh, you're going to do that? Like LeBron. Yeah, if you think Jordan's better, that's cool. Listen, you're going to like Jordan. It just tells me where you're at intellectually on a basketball level.

No one in sports has it better than Steph Curry right now

It's actually a perfect, no one has it better in sports than Steph Curry right now. [He invites superstars to his team], Philly will love Joel Embiid more than they will love LeBron. And LeBron will take all the heat if things go south.

Julian Edelman is likely innocent of PED use because his Call of Duty stats were consistent

I've played Call of Duty with Julian Edelman multiple times... and I never noticed any performance that was out of the ordinary. Usually his kills to death ratio was pretty consistent throughout. No big spikes. So from where I'm sitting, probably didn't do it.

Kobe Bryant is not the GOAT and he thinks he's too smart

I'm a big Lakers fan, but I don't think Kobe's the GOAT. Kobe bugs the shit out of him. He thinks he's so smart. That's what really bugs me, is he thinks he's really smart.

Clayton Kershaw is not finished as an elite pitcher

Neither [done or finished]. Come on. I'm a Kershaw fan, even though I work for the D-backs... I never count that guy out. He works too hard.

Justify may be running low on energy heading into the Belmont Stakes

In the Preakness, he wasn't quite as good as he was in the Kentucky Derby... Energy level might be getting a little bit low. He really needed that wire to come up when it did in the Preakness... How much he's got left in the tank is the big question.

Gronkowski the horse does not have much of a chance in the Belmont Stakes

We talked to the trainer, and he doesn't even know what to expect... It's like he's been going up against Class A pitching, and now he's got to go against the Yankees. So you have no idea what to expect. Big, nice, good-looking horse. I don't think he has much of a chance.

A cup becomes a bowl once it is wider than it is long

I think it's when it's wider than it is long. When it becomes a chode. When it's a chode, it's a bowl.

If Alex Ovechkin wins the Stanley Cup, he might be the GOAT

If [Ovechkin] gets the Stanley Cup, which would be his third Stanley Cup in this playoffs, you've got to say, is he the GOAT? He might be. GOAT Vetchkin? It's either him or Gretzky.

The Yankees' protest against ESPN's scheduling is a power move using Aaron Boone's inside knowledge

It's also a power move because you know Aaron Boone knows the inside deal with ESPN, so he knows the leverage he has.

Darren Rovell officially killed 69 jokes

Ravel has caught on... He did it on the Browns to win the Super Bowl, $6.90. And get this, the ticket writer laughed no less than three times... This is like when your parents figure out how to text emojis and bitmojis and stuff. It just kind of all loses its luster.

Miss America is no longer a beauty pageant if it removes the bikini portion

It's also ridiculous that a beauty pageant is no longer being judged on beauty. That's where we're at.

Selling songs to commercials is a valid way to support a family and not 'selling out'

I've always viewed music with the eye of like... laughing and kind of throwing up like, kind of like that, that whole thing that exists in the urban world. That's kind of like, yeah, yeah, I'm in this commercial and it's dope and it's taking care of my family... I've just never understood the mentality... of like, hey, it's sellouty to make money and I'd rather be like a cool hipster that is not making money for my family.

Draymond Green should get credit for the dress shorts look, not LeBron

Shorts are definitely back. But [LeBron] got co-opted by Draymond Green. Green showed up in some dress shorts, too. I think that's the new look. It's like ACDC chic. Draymond said that he should be getting credit for shorts, not LeBron.

Nothing short of injuries to Klay Thompson and Kevin Durant will allow the Cavs to win the series

When I say they're dead, I mean they could win a game, maybe even two games, but there's nothing short of like Klay Thompson and Kevin Durant both getting injured that would make the Cavs win this series.

Jon Taffer is a curse on everyone

Well, there's definitely a Taffer curse. Yeah, Taffer's definitely a curse. It's a curse on everyone.

Pusha T killed Drake in their rap beef

So Pusha T killed Drake. Yes. Drake cannot stop. He's still going to come out with an album. We'll probably have some subtle shots, but I don't think he's going to come out with a full-on diss track.

You can't fire an FBI agent for breakdancing

You can't fire someone for feeling a dance circle. If you've ever been at a wedding, any kind of party, there's nothing more awkward than a dance circle where no one goes in. So this guy had to go in. He did an unbelievable move.

Radar guns should be removed from baseball so pitchers actually pitch instead of just throwing hard

I would take the radar gun out. Pitchers watch. I talked to Jacob deGrom, and he said he looks up there, and if he's at 94, he wants to get to 95. You know they're watching and I think just take them off the board... Just so the pitchers would pitch instead of throw. Nothing better than a pitcher that knows how to go out and watch a guy throw a beautiful game.

Mike Trout is the best player in the game

Oh, Trout. Trout's the best player in the game. He's ungodly.

Steroid users who were caught should not be in the Hall of Fame

He's tainted. You're right. You shouldn't get in the Hall of Fame. Yes, I do [believe that]. If you're caught.

The Cavaliers lost Game 1; the Warriors did not win it

I would say that the Cavaliers lost this game. The Warriors did not win it. So it's still 0-0.

John Stockton was the hardest player I ever had to guard

He reminds me of when I played against John Stockton and I tried to do the same thing [trash talk] and John Stockton always overlooked me. And that was a big problem for me because he never paid attention. ... Him and Karl Malone was going through the pick and rolls. That's tiring for a guy to do that all night long and try to continue to guard him.

Dikembe Mutombo has the worst feet in NBA history

You know, I used to watch his [Shaq's] feet a lot. ... have you seen the Dikembe Mutombo feet? That's the worst.

Yu Darvish reading hate on Twitter is making him sad and affecting his play

Yu Darvish is sad because he thinks that all of the Cubs fans and all of Chicago hates him because he's been on the DL twice and it's just now June 1st. And he also reads everything on Twitter and doesn't like getting the hate.

Hue Jackson jumping in Lake Erie on June 1st is a total cop-out

He waited until June 1st? Kind of a cop-out. That's the biggest cop-out I've ever fucking heard. ... You can't wait until June 1st to jump in a lake.

Drake lacks the 'clutch gene' in rap feuds

I don't think that Drake has it in him. I don't think he's got the clutch gene [against Pusha T].

LeBron James is breaking his social media blackout by using his wife's Instagram

LeBron James, who said he's not going on social media one time the entire playoffs... decided that after the Eastern Conference Finals that he was going to do an Instagram takeover on his wife's Instagram account, which to me seems like he was on social media and not focusing on the biggest series of his life.

Braden Holtby's poor rebound control and lack of mobility will cost the Capitals the Cup

My biggest worry for a Caps fan is [Braden Holtby]... these rebounds, those are not – that will not win you the cup, those rebounds... his mobility isn't nearly what it used to be. So if you're going to come out and take away those angles, the rebounds can't go anywhere but the corner.

Tom Wilson is a star and a complete badass

Tom Wilson, that dude's a star. I fucking love Tom Wilson. He's a badass. We make fun of him a lot because he tries to cut people's head off with his skates. And he like intentionally hits people in the head... but he's no longer on fraud watch.

JR Smith is the most important player on the Cavaliers

J.R. Smith, whether he's shooting his threes or not, whether he's making threes or not, that's how the Cavs go. You can basically say that J.R. Smith is the most important player on the Cavs.

Baker Mayfield already 'Gets It' because he won't draw a stripe on his helmet

Baker draws the Browns helmet... why don't you have the stripe on there? And he goes, well, it's because I haven't earned my stripe yet. Because that's what the browns are doing with their helmets this year... Baker gets it. Baker gets it.

The NFL's new anthem rule is a trial balloon and a needles complication

It was ridiculous that they did this in the first place. Essentially bringing up a story that they wanted to have die in the middle of the summer for no reason... They not only did that, but they didn't even do it officially. It's such a perfect NFL story because they made it needlessly complicated.

Grit is defined by being relentless and having maniacal work habits

For me it's it's very simple and we talk to our players about all time it's about being relentless. We talk about intensity. We talk about maniacal work habits and going about it, determination, teamwork, all those things, toughness, hardness about ourselves. Those are the things that we describe grit to.

You can hear grit on a football field without seeing it

I think a lot of it for me is really what I hear, meaning when the practice starts and the pads are on, I can hear grit without actually having to see it. And sometimes during the nine-on-seven drills... I'll just kind of close my eyes and listen, you know and say okay was that a good play for grit? Was that a good toughness play?

Bologna is the ultimate comfort food and survival food

Whenever I want to feel good, I eat bologna. If someone said, what's the one food you're bringing in that bunker? Simple: Bologna. Because it can turn into so many other meals... I fry it... Once I fry it, I kill all that bacteria and I still got a great meal.

Ron Rivera and Mike Vrabel are the toughest coaches in the NFL

Mike Vrabel is probably the toughest. Ron Rivera is a tough son. Ron Rivera is a good one. To be a coach in this profession, you have to have a toughness about you in some way or another.

The Golden State Warriors are now Klay Thompson's team

It's Klay's team now. It has to be his team.

Lamar Jackson is the most intriguing quarterback of the 2018 draft class

But the guy that really intrigued me was Lamar Jackson. I mean, I saw you where the league's heading... him and David Johnson in the same backfield and put some speed outside. How much fun would that be coaching?

I am way better looking than Ed Sheeran

I'm way better looking than Ed Sheeran. A million percent... The dude can't even pee next to me.

You should never hand someone your phone to show them a picture

You have to be an absolute psycho to hand someone else your phone. You've got to do the holding your phone and scrolling for them. You never give anyone anyone your phone.

James Harden looks like he is on designer drugs every playoffs

I don't understand how this is supposed to be different, and then [James Harden] goes to another playoffs and looks like he's taking some weird designer drug the entire playoffs... he looks like he's playing in quicksand.

The Cavaliers and Warriors series features the weirdest bodies in peak sports

If you had [the Warriors and Rockets] all take off their shirts you'd be like i don't know are these guys peak athletes... Eric Gordon has a full on gut and it, he has like the under armpit fat... Kevin Durant's got that body where you can't even press 135 pounds.

Charles Barkley would get his ass kicked by Draymond Green

Charles Barkley would get his ass kicked so bad by Draymond. Oh, so bad. So bad. He's not, like, so bad.

Brad Stevens and Danny Ainge are better than LeBron at coaching and management

Brad Stevens is so much better of a coach than LeBron. But at the end of the day, LeBron, like, you don't want to get into Game 7 against LeBron. But Danny Ainge is a better GM than LeBron... Brad Stevens and Danny Ainge are better than LeBron coach and GM.