Takes

Starting as a quarterback is easier than being a backup

I always found it easier as a starter. 'Cause at least you have the week going in, you know when the offense takes the field, you're going out there and and you're prepared to play 60 Minutes.

Brian Hoyer is one of the best Chicago Bears quarterbacks of all time based on 300-yard passing games

Do you know that you are tied for most 300 yard passing games in a Bears season? You're tied for the most all time with four. You are one of the best Bears quarterbacks of all time just based on that stat.

Jacoby Brissett is one of the funniest and most well-respected guys in the NFL

Jacoby Brissett... this guy's hilarious. You talk about a dog, people who love him. I mean, you see the respect, like the Brown showed him... this guy is one of the best guys that I've ever been around... People gravitate towards him.

Penn State is the toughest place to play in the Big 10

I'm gonna go with Penn State... that place... you're kind of like out in this middle of nowhere... and I think two out of the three times I played there was like a whiteout... that's a tough hostile environment to play.

Michigan Stadium is not a hostile environment

The Big House is a historic place, but it's not a very hostile environment. Those fans kind just sit on their hands... it doesn't get very loud compared to a Ohio State or Penn State.

If you touch the ball, you can catch it

We always say on this podcast, if you touch, if you touch it, you can catch it. It's a fact.

Justin Fields is a good player and the Bears will figure it out

Justin's a good player, man. They'll figure it out... [The Bears] have an opinion, but... I think they'll figure it out.

If the Commanders win the Super Bowl, I will eat a steak

If we win the Super Bowl, I'll have a steak... Y'all have to take me to the best steak in the world.

Uncrustables are the perfect meal

It's really the perfect meal, an Uncrustables.

Sitting in all-inclusive seats at a baseball game is not a flex because it just turns you into a "toxic wasteland" of gas

If you go to all-inclusive for the baseball game, it's fart city. That's all you're gonna do for the rest of the day. You just eat so many things... By the third inning I'm a toxic wasteland. It rules though.

I would rather be the New England Patriots than the New York Jets right now

Would you rather be in the position of the New England Patriots right now as an organization, as a franchise or the New York Jets? [I say] Patriots. Why is that? Go on. Expound better organizational structure in general, but in terms of right direction. Wrong direction.

The Ravens are one of the best teams in the entire league right now

The Ravens are one of the best teams in the entire league right now. So I I'm very much looking forward to seeing how they operate with an awesome passing offense.

Dan Campbell needs to be consistently aggressive instead of shriveling at the end of games

What the fuck was [Dan Campbell] doing at the end of the game when the Lions had the ball at the 50 with all three timeouts down three. And they basically were like, let's play for overtime. That didn't make any sense at all. If you're gonna be aggressive, be aggressive all the time. It's so frustrating when he doesn't do it at the end, when it probably makes the most sense to be aggressive.

Lions fans need to be more into the game than sexting about 'piss not squirt'

Lions fans. You gotta be more into the game. I'm gonna say it right now. That's bad fandom. You gotta be more into the game... His mind was not in the game. That's, you gotta be locked into the game. This is one of the biggest games the Lions have had... And your thought is not like, 'Ooh, how are we gonna convert this third down?' It's, 'Hey, just send me a video you pissing.'

Brandon Staley has turned from a 'nerd' coach into a 'pussy' coach

Brandon Staley is getting fired. Brandon Staley is not a nerd anymore. and I mean that in a, in a bad way. I liked it when he was a nerd. I liked it when Brandon Staley was going for Fourth Downs when it was like fourth and five doing crazy shit left and right now he's playing like a P word... He's a pussy. He's turned from a nerd into a pussy.

The loser of the Chargers vs. Vikings game is officially 'done' for the season

I think we have a loser leaves town game next week for the Chargers... at the Vikings. Oh, that is... I think loser's done. That's a good call. I think loser's done.

The Falcons are a playoff team and will win at least nine games

The Falcons are gonna the playoffs. I think so. I'm gonna say it right now... I think the Falcons could be like a nine win team. They have the Texans and the Cardinals. So those are, those are nice two wins.

The 2023 Dolphins have an asterisk season because of the officiating in the Patriots game

Dolphins two and oh. But everyone on Twitter is telling me it's a asterisk season. Oh. Because of this play... [That play was too cool], we can't erase this play from football history. And also, right now, that play is now erased from the memory of all football.

Justin Fields is not the guy and the era is officially over

It's over. It's over... The Justin Fields era. It's over. He's not the guy. It, it's, it's bad. He, It's probably the most disheartening, heartbreaking realization to be like, I put all my blind faith into this... I now officially think it's over. He doesn't seem like he's seeing the field well. I know the offensive line sucks, but again, it's Justin Fields. Like he has not made any of the steps forward that you wanted as a passer.

If the Bears have the #1 pick, they must take Caleb Williams

If they have the number one pick, you have to take Caleb Williams. Yeah. That's, I I don't care how the rest of the season goes. You just have to because, but then the world should get mad at the Bears for taking Caleb Williams and probably ruining, robbing the world of Caleb Williams.

Sam Howell is good enough to win 10 games this season

I think Sam Howell is good enough to win 10 games this season. Yeah. I, with the rest of that defense. I think the Commanders are a, you know, you could make the argument... they're for real.

The 49ers are the best team in the NFL right now

The 49ers are a wagon. They are... they are so good and I think they are the best team in football right now.

Matt Campbell's coaching success was all due to Brock Purdy

Brock Purdy, so he did miss some big time like shot plays. I though think that Brock Purdy, we should start talking about Brock Purdy's greatness as it relates to Matt Campbell and the meltdown that Matt Campbell's career has had... Maybe it was all Brock Purdy. Brock Purdy deserves more credit for getting Matt Campbell to a point where all these schools were considering hiring him. 'cause since that moment he's done nothing.

I will buy into all of Aaron Rodgers' alternative healing methods if he returns from his Achilles injury in under four months

If Aaron Rodgers comes back this year, I will buy all the Aaron Rodgers like healing shit. I'll go on one of those retreats. I'll do everything. If he comes back from an Achilles in under four months and plays football, I'm buying all of it. I'm gonna, I'll suck the vaccines outta my body.

The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl

My overly direct take is the Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl.

The New England Patriots are going to make the playoffs

My overly direct take is that the New England Patriots are gonna make the playoffs. Love it. Ooh. Yeah. They're gonna make the playoffs.

The Tennessee Titans are gonna win the AFC South

My overly direct take is the Tennessee Titans are gonna win the AFC South.

The Cardinals are going to win at least five games this season

The Cardinals are going to win at least five games. Five games. They've been competitive in both of these games.

Budda Baker will be an Eagle by the end of the week

Budda Baker will be an eagle by the end of the week... he practiced all week and then today he was a late add to the injury report and inactive for the game. Okay. You know, they don't want to get him hurt before a deal's coming. Eagles cleared two guys off of their practice squad to make room for potentially bringing somebody else in.

Micah Parsons is going to win NFL MVP

Micah Parsons winning M V P. Mika Parsons winning m v P... Lawrence Taylor was the last time that happened... It's not crazy.

College kids should storm the field whenever they want, regardless of point spreads

My who's back of the week is people getting mad about kids running on Fields... People getting upset because Colorado won as a 24 point favorite against Colorado State in overtime and then everyone took to Twitter... I don't know how we keep having this debate. If you're between the ages of 18 and 24, squeeze all the fun outta life that you possibly can... People who are criticizing you probably are jealous that they don't have that much fun left to go.

The Minnesota Vikings are my 2023 pinky team and they won't win the Super Bowl

The Minnesota Vikings are my pinky team. It's official. They are not winning the season. I can't believe we got an early drop. Nowhere, nowhere close. They're 0-2 and I actually thought Kirk Cousins played okay tonight.

Justin Jefferson is currently the best wide receiver in the NFL

And also Justin Jefferson kind of has a case. He's the best receiver of the football right now. It would be nice if he won some games. It would suck to be that much better than everyone else and be like, why are we 0-2?

The 2023 Jacksonville Jaguars will treat their Week 2 game against the Chiefs as their Super Bowl

I am a little nervous about the fact that the Jags like this is, this will be kind of everything and then it will be fade hard the Jags next week. That makes me a little nervous that the Jaguars are like, oh this is our Super Bowl.

These 2023 Detroit Lions are different and are legitimate Super Bowl contenders

I'm with you on this 1 49ers. I feel like they're, they might be the best team in the league through week one. [But] these Lions are different. That's all I keep saying to myself. Like they might be different. These lines. We're talking about those lines, you know. No. Are these lines, we're not talking about the same old lines. We're talking about these lines.

The Buffalo Bills must win convincingly against the Raiders to get their swagger back

It feels like the Bills have to win this game and they have to win it convincingly to get their swagger back a little bit. It does feel like it's kind of, I don't want to sound the alarm so bad, but the bills just, they need to win. They need to win this game and they need to do it well and they need to win by a lot.

The Bears vs. Bucs game is the biggest in Bears franchise history

I was premature. The Bears going to Tampa Bay is the biggest game in Bears franchise history. I'll just say that right now. I was a week early on my prediction of biggest game in Bears franchise history. This is a must win.

The Bears must implement designed runs for Justin Fields to make the defense uncomfortable

I speak on behalf of America and probably all Bears fans. When I say let Justin Fields run the ball. Let him everything, put in some design runs for him. Let him stretch the defense out. Let them let the defense get uncomfortable and try to figure out where he's going to go. And then the passing game opens up when you do that.

The Commanders defensive line is better than the Eagles defensive line

The commanders, I think, have a better defensive line than even the Philadelphia Eagles do. Rivera's gonna be on the war path and it's gonna be nice and I think the commanders in that defensive line, which is the best in the NFL across, across all divisions.

The Cardinals defense is sneaky good and they are coached to be a dirty team

I still think that their defense is gonna be pretty good. No, I'm saying that because if you watch the X videos and the Twitter chrome on it Max that defense was headhunting. They, they, they were coached that way. I'm telling you, watch the Cardinals this week. Tell me that they don't take like sneaky violent shots. They're, they're a dirty team.

A healthy 2011-2012 Bulls team would have beaten the 'Heatles' in a playoff series

I really felt like if we were healthy we would've got 'em, you know? But it was cool 'cause it wasn't, it wasn't, it was a thing where it wasn't just Chicago that was rooting against them. It was the whole, the whole country was rooting against the heat. and we were the team that kind of had a shot.

Victor Wembanyama is the real deal but will face early growing pains

He got the whole, you know, he's like, kid's the real deal, you know, left pull up everywhere. Left. Right. You know, handle seven foot three. I mean, we haven't seen anything like that. I think there's gonna be, you know, some growing pains. But he got the perfect coach with Pop who's gonna just sit him down and be like, yo young fella, just take it easy.

Jimmy Butler once went an entire summer without watching TV to focus on his game

Jimmy's probably the toughest competitor I've ever been around. And you know, it started right away. He worked his ass off and you know, the sacrifices that he made in the summers were just unbelievable. I mean, people don't know this, but he was going whole summers, no tv.

The unluckiness of the New York Jets is unrivaled in professional sports

The power of the unluckiness of the New York Jets is unrivaled in professional sports. I feel bad for Mike Greenberg... but if I'm in the trust tree, it was also kind of funny... that they had six months where it's like we finally solved our quarterback situation... and then four plays in, it's like, well, we're fucked again.

Announcers need to stop saying 'asterisk' on wins

I don't know why it's become a thing that announcers are now saying asterisk. They did it for the Lions game too. Tarico did the asterisk for No Kelsey, Chris Jones. And then last night they're like, well, asterisk there was tripping on the part return. Who the fuck cares. The Wind's a win.

Colin Kaepernick would suck if he returned to the NFL now because he hasn't played in seven years

[Kaepernick], he hasn't played in what, six years? Seven years. So he's gonna come back and he's gonna suck ass because he hasn't played football in forever... if you love Colin Kaepernick, if you think he got jobbed by the NFL, you should actually be hoping and praying that he does not get a chance to play anymore.

Matt Ryan would be worse than Zach Wilson behind the Jets' offensive line

I don't know if Matt Ryan would be worse than Zach Wilson... I think he would just because their offensive line is a big question mark. And you're putting Matt Ryan back into harm's way. He can't move.

Josh Allen is still a much better quarterback than Dak Prescott

As far as I'm concerned, Josh Allen's still much better quarterback than Dak Prescott. Dak had a better week one. Yes... but you saw something different [last night].

The PAC-12 is currently the most dominant conference in the country

The lead story right now is the PAC 12 is the most dominant conference in the country. They have eight teams in the top 25 right now... It's insane to me that the PAC 12 has been around for a hundred years and they just timed it two years too late.

Texas's victory over Alabama was not a fluke; the Longhorns were simply the superior team

This officially Texas being back because like it didn't feel like the memes... they just went into Alabama and whooped their ass. It wasn't some fluke thing... I think Texas is just a very good team... Alabama was just the inferior team on the field on Saturday.