Takes

Getting a hole-in-one is the best thing a man can do

It's like the best thing that a man can do. Yeah. Is get a Hole in one.

I would never take a job that requires waking up at 3:30 AM

I am officially taking my name out of the hat... because of the early wake up time. I actually don't think that there's a single job in the world that I would do if it meant that I had to wake up at three thirty in the morning every day.

The Saudi Arabian soccer league cannot compete with the MLS model of paying aging superstars

Basically they're just completely cucking the MLS's model, which is just pay aging superstars for a fuckload of money to come finish out their career over here. We can't compete with that.

Mark Zuckerberg definitely got choked out during his Jiu-Jitsu competition despite his denials

The last thing you wanna do is have an update to the report being like, just so we're clear, we talked to multiple people. He was never choked out because now I'm like, dude, the guy got choked out. You don't have to update saying I wasn't choked out unless you were very clearly choked out.

Luke Fickle will be awesome at Wisconsin

And we hopefully will find somebody like Luke Fickle. Yes. Who I told you prior to the, you know, our taping here. I think he's awesome. Yeah. And I, all Wisconsin fans will not know what to do with themselves when like a fifth wide receiver steps on the field. Even once. I love him... He's funny, he's engaging, he's young. He's exactly who Wisconsin should be going for.

The NFL Draft is an unbreakable TV event because of the 'transaction of hope'

I totally geek out about it. I do not care what anybody else might say. I think it's, it's unbreakable. It's something As long as everybody wants to actually gather around a television set for three days and watch an event where the power brokers are not physically there.

The Detroit Lions will win the NFC North

Lions were one of 'em. Which I think we can all probably agree. They seem poised to make the playoffs. I think they win the division.

The Falcons will make the playoffs in 2023

Falcons that division's completely wide open. Yeah. Who do you think wins it? The Saints. Just cuz they got Derek Carr. I mean, I need to see what that looks like. I like what they did on defense and I like the coach.

Aaron Rodgers can play deep into his 40s like Tom Brady

I do believe Rodgers can be Brady 2.0 in terms of playing deep into his forties. If that is something he wants to do. He doesn't look to be a broken down guy. He looks to be the exact opposite. Taking care of himself.

The Washington Commanders should change their name to the Washington Football Team and then the Hogs

I would love to see them go back to Washington football team... Do a placeholder season... If I'm Josh Harris, I'm taking over a team. Change everything... Change it to the football team again. And then the year after that, change it to the hogs. Hogs would always made the most sense. It's a great name.

The 1990s Buffalo Bills are a dynasty

Do you consider the bills of the nineties of Dynasty? ... I would [say so]. We'll never see that again. Ever. We saw Brady, we saw Brady with the Patriots and Belichick and they didn't make four in a row... the bills of the early nineties dynasty there, there's names from that team that are all over the hall of fame.

Justin Fields is the guy for the Chicago Bears

So you think Justin Fields is the guy? [Eisen] Yes, I do too. I think they made the right move.

Urban Meyer would fail if he returned to college coaching in the transfer portal era

You think Urban would be able to coach in the transfer portal era where somebody's basically like, I don't like the way you've treated me... His way or the highway. And as you know, and you'll get drafted. There's now a highway. There's now a highway.

The Nuggets will win the NBA Finals in four games.

Welcome to Pardon My Take. Today is Friday, June 2nd and it's Nuggets in four.

Jamal Murray is currently the best 'Robin' (second option) in the NBA.

Jamal Murray continues his stretch of being like the best. Is he the best Robin going right now? He's definitely... if he was on a team with anybody except for Jokic, everybody would talk about him being the finals MVP. He is the best Robin.

Watching a big man who can pass is the best thing to watch in all of sports.

Watching a big man that can pass like Jokic is maybe my favorite thing in all of sports to watch. I'm thinking through every single league... but I actually think that watching a big man that is just throwing no look passes over his head from the post down low... that's my favorite thing in all sports.

The Celtics are a better team than the Nuggets and everyone else in the NBA.

The Celtics are probably the best team in the NBA if you really look at it position by position, player by player. You know, we ran into a Heat team that was getting frisky at the right time. But we're still a better team. We're a better team than [the] Nuggets. We're a better team than everyone.

The Denver Nuggets will win the NBA Finals in five games.

I think that they'll get one Jimmy Butler game. He'll go off for like 45, 50... then [the Nuggets] close it out at home. Yeah. Nuggets in five.

Erik Spoelstra is the greatest NBA coach of all time if he wins titles without LeBron James.

I wouldn't hate it if [Spoelstra] ripped off five or six titles in the next 10 years because I absolutely would say that he's the greatest NBA coach of all time and that's why LeBron won those titles. So I am definitely a part of me that's a big Spo fan being like, go Spo go win a bunch of titles without LeBron and then I will say that you're the GOAT.

Erik Spoelstra's 2023 playoff run is the best coaching job in NBA history.

Let's just say it right now. The best coaching job we've ever seen of all times... this playoff run, win the title or not, best coaching job we've ever seen.

I will relinquish my integrity and have a testicle removed if the Nuggets don't win the 2023 NBA Finals.

I will give up all my integrity. I will relinquish my integrity as a sports journalist. As a dean of the SJL, I will give that all up and... I will get a ball removed. I'll get a ball removed cosmetically if the Nuggets don't win.

Novak Djokovic is the greatest tennis player of all time.

I know the most about tennis. Djokovic is the goat and I've been right all along.

The Stanley Cup is the hardest trophy to win in all of professional sports.

For any hockey fan that's enjoying watching the highest level playing for the best trophy, that's the hardest to win in sports. The playoffs are still a man's game... it's two teams that basically beat the shit out of whoever they play against.

The Florida Panthers will be unbeatable if Sergei Bobrovsky continues his current level of play.

If Bobrovsky's playing like this... he's 11 and two in the playoffs with this insane save percentage and goals against and he's in one of those zones. If he continues to play like this, I don't know if they can be beat. I don't think they can be beat.

The Florida Panthers will win the Stanley Cup.

I picked Florida... now I'm at the point of like, alright, something special is going on here and the goal tending [and] what [Matthew] Tkachuk's doing. It's just leading me to think they'll somehow get it done.

Connor McDavid is the best athlete in the world.

I'm gonna keep backing the best player I've ever seen... [McDavid] is breaking records and he's doing things that haven't been done in about 40 years in the NHL. He's joining the list of Gretzky and Lemieux every season. Watching him like night in and night out, it looks like a different league. It looks like an alien on the ice.

Connor Bedard will not be better at hockey than Connor McDavid.

I don't think [Bedard] can be [better]. I think he's going to be incredible and I think he'll be a future superstar. But I think McDavid is a once every 20 years type guy. I don't see it happening.

I will get Bill Belichick to interview on the Pardon My Take podcast.

I'll work on that now. Right now. The football offseason. Yes. Right now we will go right now. It's gonna be, it would be the start of Grit Week. It would be incredible.

Bloodsport is one of the best action movies ever made.

I give Bloodsport a five balls. I love this movie. I'll always love this movie. It is a mandatory watch if you like action movies. It's the best.

Frank Dux, the real-life inspiration for Bloodsport, is the greatest liar of all time.

Frank Dux is the greatest liar of all time. All of it is fake. It is based on a true story, except Frank Dux lied about his fighting record as well as the existence of the entire tournament, as well as his military record. He just keeps lying about everything. Everything is made up.

Bloodsport is an unexceptional movie that is difficult to pay attention to.

Nah, it was fine. It was just... it's just one of those movies that you have it on and you're on your phone and you lose the plot... you're not paying attention. I mean, in that sense, it was like, all right, I can look up, watch him fighting.

I am going to start taking Ozempic to lose weight.

I'm just gonna go on Ozempic. I don't fucking care. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna tell everyone to do it and then I'm gonna look hot and then I'll get off of it and then I'll gain it all back. Drop like 25 pounds and then just slowly gain it back.

PFT's $10,000 bet on the Heat and Panthers was an investment with a 10% ROI

PFT, I gotta start with you because you have to feel incredible relief for your bet. The 10,000 to win a thousand when you bet the heat up three Oh and the Panthers Up three Oh cashes gotta be the biggest relief of all time.

Derek White's Game 6 buzzer-beater felt like a series-winning moment

Game six was unbelievable. Just that win and the day after did, it did feel like a Game seven win. It felt like a series win. I was, I was basking at it. I truly was.

The 2023 Celtics' loss is as bad as being swept

I mean, the way that you won game six is almost better than winning the series. That was just such incredible finish... Game seven was game seven actually. It's true. And that was a good lesson. Yeah. Game seven is always game seven.

Jalen Brown does not know how to dribble

Jalen Brown does not know how to dribble. I don't know if that's something he's gonna learn. And then, I mean Jason Tatum obviously I think Jason Tatum probably smells the best coming out of this run... But where do you go and Marcus Smart? I don't know. Do you keep rolling out the same thing year after year?

Joe Mazzulla's resume is not that different from Ime Udoka's

Missoula's been obviously criticized a lot, but if you actually put up his resume next to Ime Udoka, it's not that dissimilar. Like they went, I think what the Celtics last year, they swept the nets in the first round, then they went seven, then they went seven and then they got, they lost in the finals. I mean this year obviously they went six in the first round, but they seven and seven, they, they came up short tonight.

The Celtics need to blow the team up

First is stop talking about that video because Celtics lost and it doesn't matter. First they, you gotta blow it up. You gotta blow it up. How many times can you get close? I mean, as a Celtics fan, I cannot stand watching this team get so close year after year and then falling short. It's bullshit.

Caleb Martin will sign a hundred-million-dollar contract based on this playoff run

Caleb Martin gets most of the credit tonight. So Caleb Martin was just unreal. I think he was the, he was the worst of the Martin twins, right? I think his brother got drafted. Caleb didn't. But then Caleb now is about to make like a hundred million just based on this series.

The Heat are a legitimate scare for the Nuggets in the Finals

The heater just a fucking good basketball team all around and they've got guys that step up when their stars aren't playing well. And I am, I am a little bit afraid of the heat in the finals as an, as a longtime three year Nuggets fan. They scare me just because they got, they got some bullshit going on.

The Golden Knights and Panthers playing each other represents the 'Cocaine per Capita' championship

The two cities with maybe the most cocaine done per capita. Vegas, Miami playing against each other and saying like, oh, Brooks [Koepka] will be on his best behavior.

The LIV Golf relegation system is just the PGA Tour and Q-School with a different name

LIV golf is tweaking their rule format that they have. They are now instituting relegation and promotion in LIV golf league... which is great... LIV Golf just invented the PGA Tour. So you're not like guaranteed a spot on LIV golf. They invented qualification school.

The Cowboys will pretend to be in on DeAndre Hopkins before he signs with the Bills

I bet you the Cowboys are going to make their fans believe that they're in the Hopkins running until like the very last second and then he is gonna sound with the bills.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the GOAT because he achieved his physique with fewer steroids than modern bodybuilders

Basically Arnold started talking about his steroid use for the first time and talked about his cycle and basically he wasn't on that much steroids compared to a lot of guys today in body building, which just goes to show that he is the goat.

Nikola Jokic is the best basketball player in the world

I agree. I think he is the best basketball player and I think he's proving it every single night... I think he's proving it every single night. And you know, I go back, my first summer in Denver was also Nicole's first summer... In Las Vegas for Summer league in that, not one point in time in Vegas did I say, Hey, we have a franchise player.

LeBron James and Nikola Jokic are incredibly similar players

I think LeBron James and Nicole Yoic are very, very similar. Hmm. And when and the eye test you say hell no. Like one's a great athlete freakish and the other guy can't jump over the Sunday newspaper. But you get away from that. Both those guys, their iq, their unselfishness, their ability to make everyone better and impact the game.

Nikola Jokic's game is more like chess than checkers

Some guys are playing checkers out there and then you have a few guys that play chess and see things developing and guys understand pretty quickly when they first come to our team, first time playing with Nicola, hey you better have your head in a swivel.

Joel Embiid doesn't have the fight or leadership to lead the Sixers to a title

I don't know at this point this might just me be me talking angry shit because they're, they lost. But I think maybe Embiid could go too at this point. I don't think he's, he might be a winner. Yeah, yeah. He's awesome. I mean he's an unbelievable talent and... I just don't think he's like a, he doesn't have that fight. Like you said, he won't put the, he can't lead that team.

Ja Morant is a modern-day Allen Iverson in every way

I'm almost thinking four Philly. The personality of Philly sports. I say a straight up for John Morant. Philly can handle a problematic like Alan iv. He's like Alan Iverson every way to me. Like the way he plays and his off, if there was social media when Alan Iverson was playing, he'd have flashed a gun. Oh for sure. He got caught with guns like all the time.

Eddie Murphy's 'Delirious' is the work of a 19-year-old and doesn't hold up as seasoned material

As someone who's been doing it so long now, like I see the 19 year old because he was 19 and delirious. Like I see that all over it now... the material itself's not really like anything like light, like, you know, doesn't really give you any insight into him.