Takes

I have zero chance of winning the American Century Championship this year

I have zero chance of winning. Okay. In this... I've come this year with zero expectations. You know, I had a shoulder replacement in December, so I'm just getting that back... it's not pretty.

Adam Thielen is a sleeper to win the celebrity golf tournament

Adam Thielen and he's, he's a sleeper to win this. I, on on the 10th hole today, he hit, he hit a little iron and he hit about 300 down the middle. I went, oh boy.

Alex Pereira will win his next UFC fight

[Alex Pereira] is very fun to watch. He's going, I think he's gonna win.

Paul George to the Sixers is destined to end in tragic heartbreak

Paul George is the big ticket in the NBA free agency and this is going to be so, so good when they flame out of the playoffs. I just don't see how this is gonna end in anything but tragic heartbreak for Max.

The Denver Nuggets will struggle mid-season because they let Kentavious Caldwell-Pope walk

Stan Kroenke strikes again, KCP going to the Magic and Stan Kroenke unwilling to pay luxury tax and build. I feel like that was a huge, that's one of those ones that we're gonna look at somewhere mid-season and be like, oh shit, the Nuggets just, they're kind of missing a guy. And it's KCP.

Ryan Mountcastle will have a massive second half because he's over his vertigo

Ryan Mountcastle. He seems to be over the vertigos, but yeah, he does hit a lot of homers. So he's been saving them. He, this is what he told me. He's been saving them for the second half. And I got him having a big second half.

We are going to take Dungeons and Dragons seriously and try to complete the mission this time

We're taking it seriously this time we're gonna try to complete the mission. Tim is electric as always and it's a great, great listen.

I am going to replace Hank as the person who gets killed and fucked in this Dungeons and Dragons adventure

I just know how this is gonna go. I'm just gonna replace Hank is the guy who gets killed and fucked.

I am going to kill Max's eagle as soon as possible

I might have texted and said that we gotta kill Max's eagle ASAP.

We are definitely going to kill Hank in the next Dungeons and Dragons episode

But I, it was good team building and we're definitely gonna kill him in the the follow up episode. 100%.

Mark Pope is an excellent teacher of basketball and will succeed at Kentucky

Mark Pope is, is a... excellent teacher of basketball. He also has, you know, He was also a terrific basketball player that got the maximum of his abilities because he gave it all... I think the fans are gonna fall in love with Mark. 'Cause the thing about him... It's always about team. It's always about Kentucky.

The Phillies are a lock to reach the NLCS

The Phillies would have to really fuck up not to be in at least the NLCS because the NL is trash... they will be in big playoff games... there's no way that they're not gonna be in big playoff games... the Phillies will be in the NLCS. It would be you. I don't know if they'll win the NLCS. Yeah, that's gonna be a tough series... but the way the NL is set up. I think they will be in the NLCS.

I am officially retired from drinking games

I retired from drinking games. I put out a press release... I'm just washed, dude. I'm so washed... I retired from drinking games. What led to the retirement? I'm just washed, dude... you're never supposed to retire right after the season... I left myself open to unretire, but I'm retired as of right now.

Caleb Williams is going to be an awesome quarterback

It happened to me today and I don't know if that's people just trying to be nice to me, but I had multiple people. I'm like, yeah, Caleb Williams could be awesome.

'Hawk Tua' will be the number one fantasy football team name for 2024

I think we can already say that's the number one fantasy football team name for 2024, right? Hawk Tua.

Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final will go to overtime

I think it's going overtime, which I didn't think it ever happened. Somebody told me it did. It might've been in the twenties or thirties for all I know. But game seven overtime for the Stanley Cup. I feel like this season's been so crazy that it might happen tonight.

Chris Paul will never win a championship

Second pick is gonna be Chris Paul. Chris Paul can't win the big one. Just can't do it. He's never gonna win the big one.

Sam Hauser will be the sneaky drunkest person at the Celtics championship parade

So my dad said he is like, I just seen a Reddit post and I was one of the top vote getters [for drunkest at parade]... I mean I could see that. So yeah, I'll probably be up there... And I could see Sam Houser as the sneaky drunkest one. Sam Houser. That's my dark horse.

I will be the fastest I've ever been in the NFL this season at age 33

I want to be the fastest I've ever been. So my goal is to lean out, to be as fast as I've ever been. Top end speed, change the direction, and I truly, I think I can do it. I feel great right now... My goal is to be as fast and explosive as I possibly can.

The Celtics are set up for a dynasty

I mean the team is set up for a great, great run, which is the most exciting part. We win a championship now and we're set up, we're set up for the future. Maybe a real [dynasty].

Luka Doncic will definitely win an NBA title

I think Luka just needs to get in better shape. I think Luka's gonna be, the path that Luka's on. He's going to win a title. I would put I'd, I'd bet it right now. Luka will win a title.

I will be calling college football this fall

If I make myself publicly fully available right now, best case scenario, I'm in the booth calling college football this fall. Is that gonna happen? Is that reality? I don't know. But the odds are going to increase by making this jump right now.

The Celtics will win Game 5 by a lot

Celtics I think are six and a half point favorites on Monday night. I believe they're gonna win by a lot.

There is no way the Celtics blow a 3-1 lead with two home games left

When you have a three oh cushion though, I mean there's no way. There's just no way. They have two home games. Oh, no way. Worst case way, worst case scenario. But it's not scenario they have.

A Celtics and Panthers money line parlay is a lock for Monday night

The fact that the Panthers then lost eight to one in the exact same setup made me feel like both teams are just gonna like, listen, I'm not a gambling expert, but a Panthers Celtics money line parlay game five feels like it could potentially happen.

Rory McIlroy will likely pull out of the Travelers Championship

I think this one's gonna sting for a really long time and it won't surprise me to see him pull out of the travelers this next week. I, I doubt we'll see him there. I'd be shocked if we see him there and yeah, the fifth major, there you go.

The Steelers will surprise people because of Arthur Smith and Mike Tomlin

Steelers you got? Oh, Steelers. Okay. So you like Rus, you think Russ or Justin Fields? I just think that bringing Arthur Smith in there... Tomlin's Superpower is to take a room full of guys that you would individually look at them and say, okay. And slap 'em all together and make it into a playoff team. ... One of these guys is getting the starting job in 2025 and one of 'em is getting fired.

Rashee Rice will miss time at the start of the season due to legal issues

I'll be surprised if he's playing week one, he's either gonna be on the commissioner's exemp list or he will have pled guilty to one or more of these felonies and he'll be suspended under the personal conduct policy.

The Celtics will win the NBA title on Friday night

I'm gonna say right now, the [Celtics] are gonna win on Friday night. I don't know if that's a fact, but I feel like they're the better team. Well, that's a fact. They are the better team. And the Mavs have quit.

Dak Prescott will get a $300 million contract

Dax [Dak Prescott] is gonna get 300 [million].

The USMNT should reach the semi-finals in the 2026 World Cup

I think our ceiling is probably the semi-finals at the very best in the next World Cup... Quarterly finals in the World Cup. And we've got a good enough team. The players are good enough to do it.

The Oilers will win Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals at home

I feel like they are, the Oilers are going to win game three at home though. They need the tits. They need the tits.

The winner of the US Open will shoot between minus five and minus one

No, I would like minus five to minus one. [to win]

Tiger Woods has a chance to finish Top 20 at Pinehurst because it is an easy walk

This might be the US open course that he [Tiger Woods] does... Because this is probably of all the US open venues, this might be the easiest of the walks. Okay. And that's what it takes for Tiger. Now that's part of the issue. It ain't the course, it's the walks. And the, and the stances.

I will shave my head if the Celtics win a championship

I will shave my head if the Celtics win a championship. stop it. Like, oh, that was the perm bet you knew in the back of your head... No, I give you my word that I will shave my head if the Sellies win a championship.

The NBA Finals are already over after Game 2

What you need to transition your brain to, because this, this series, the Celtics are just better. Yeah, no, this is over. I'm over.

Dan Hurley will stay at UConn and turn down the Lakers

I think he [Dan Hurley] is going to stay at Yukon. The fact that it's taken this long and that he made an announcement... It feels to me like it's gonna be a hype video. I'm back.

Bryson DeChambeau will win the U.S. Open as an homage to Payne Stewart

I think this is it for Bryson [DeChambeau]. If Bryson comes and wears, because remember he used to wear the scaly cap. Payne Stewart. I could see it happening. As a homage to Payne Stewart. I'll call my shot right now.

Vanny Woodhead's repair is a Spring 2025 project

I think you think that Vanny needs like new tires? No, you're thinking like you want Xzibit to walk in. We also need a new engine. Vanny needs new wiring. Vanny needs literally everything. It doesn't work. No, this is is Spring 25 project. One year from now. Vanny Woodhead is gonna be rocking.

The Celtics will beat the Mavericks in six games

Yeah, we're thinking Celtics and Six. The, the Mavs aren't gonna go away. They're gonna, they're gonna give us their best shot, but, but it's, it might be Celtics and five.

The Florida Panthers will win the Stanley Cup in six games

Right now I have Florida and six. Right. I think that overall they have the better team... Florida is expected to be there. They have the goal tending, they have more depth on defense. They're overall better on defense.

UFC 303: Conor McGregor vs. Michael Chandler is in serious jeopardy of being canceled

There was supposed to be a scheduled press conference for UFC 303 that got postponed on Monday... It's not looking great for UFC 303 unless this is all a work. [McGregor] is on the Hot Seat.

The Celtics will beat the Mavericks in the NBA Finals

I like Boston. I'm scared to death of Luca... but I feel like Boston has the two versus the one... their primary lineup of Pingus back is going to be five people that you have to worry about.

I'm sticking with the Celtics in seven to win the NBA Finals

I'm sticking with my Celtics in seven, but I do, I did find some stats... I feel, I feel strong about Celtics in seven.

The NBA Finals is the Celtics' series to lose and I think they win in six

I think it's Boston series to lose. I think it's their series to lose. Kristaps should be back. They've had the best record all year... I think Boston wins in six, but if it's a one possession game, gimme Dallas.

The Celtics will beat the Mavericks in 7 games

My gut kneejerk is Celtics and seven

The Celtics will beat the Mavericks in 6 games

I I'm thinking Celtics and six.

The Celtics will beat the Mavericks in 5 games

My gut reaction is Celtics in five. I think so. I'm a bigger Celtics fan than Hank is, I guess.

I'm sprinkling a bet on the Timberwolves to be the first team to come back from down 3-0

I may put a little future on the Wolves to be the first team to come back and... Timberwolves plus a thousand. They just can't be any worse. And the thing is, they're not playing good, but they're still building leads into the fourth quarter.

Conor McGregor will lose to Michael Chandler in his return fight

I love this energy. I think he's probably gonna lose to Michael Chandler. But I like the fact that Conor McGregor just like us is like, it's Memorial Day weekend. Like diet starts Tuesday. Fight camp starts Tuesday.