Coach K will win 'Retirement of the Year' multiple times because he wants a year-long 'suck my dick' tour

I'm going to say coach K is going to win it this year. And he's going to win next year when he actually does retire because coach K has said that he's going to retire, but he needs everyone to suck his dick for an entire year before he actually retired. He could probably be talked into coming back... then he could have a dynasty of retirement.

The European Super League would have been sick and a great idea

I honestly kind of missed the idea of the super league. I, again, it's bad. We understand football's a sport. Everything else is a business, but super league would have been sick and low key. Imagine Man City against Barcelona on a Wednesday, like twice a year on a Wednesday that you would have. That's just a great idea. Great idea.

Dan Wolken thinks sports should not exist until he personally approves of them

[Dan Wolken] thinks it's sports and he doesn't think that sports should ever exist. He thinks that balls, every ball should be deflated in America until such time that Dan Wolken personally approves of it.

Shaving your head and growing a beard is the only move for balding men

Shave it and grow a beard... my thing was, which I held onto it for a while... and I finally got... I found this barber... He goes 'Dude you need to just shave your fucking head.' That's, yeah, I think you're right dude. It's tough. I shave it. It was just, you know, bullied me into shaving my head.

I quietly retired from the NFL and didn't tell anyone.

I did. I heard Hank mention that the other day and I appreciate that Hank, I have not touched a football since January. I quietly, I didn't tell anybody I retired. Probably just didn't tell anyone. So I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly.

Chris Simms is one of the people in sports media who hated me most

If there was one person that, that I don't even know, you know, who hated me... I would imagine like if you asked him, he would be like, 'Yeah, that guy sucked' was Chris Simms. [Simms] hated me. I saw, showed he me a list one time he ranked me as like the 47th best quarterback in the nfl and I was starting in Jacksonville.