Takes

There is a 0% chance the Cubs resign Kyle Tucker

There's a 0% chance they resign Kyle Tucker. Kyle Tucker gave a quote after the game that has never, there's never been a guy who has been more gone than Kyle Tucker was gone in that moment... That's the most goodbye you could possibly have.

The Phillies' loss to the Dodgers is the worst in playoff history since Bill Buckner

It's the worst loss in playoff history since Bill Buckner. He should have gone to first. That is a play that you would be shocked to see on a little league field.

The Blue Jays are the only team with the mental criteria to beat the Dodgers in the World Series

I ran a mental simulation last night to, 'cause I was pissed off. 'cause it seems like the Dodgers were gonna win the World Series and there's nothing anybody else could do about it. I did 2000 mental simulations. I was laying in bed envisioning a team that I could picture beating the Dodgers in the World Series. And the only team that fits my mental criteria is the Blue Jays.

The Guardians are the best team in baseball right now

Guardians are, are red hot. I put a future on the Guardians to win the World Series just because of like how crazy this last month has been for them. The best team in baseball right now. I don't think they're, they're the most talented team, but like, in terms of the streak that they're on, it's worth a shot at least.

The Yankees should bring back Joe Torre and their old facial hair policy

The year where they decide to change their entire facial hair policy and grooming standards, things go downhill. They should go back to a manager that doesn't manage just off a spreadsheet. They need, they might need to bring back the no facial hair and Joe Torre all in the same.

The Milwaukee Brewers never lose

The brewers do just never lose. I said it on Wednesday and they still haven't lost. They don't lose. They never lose. It's crazy. This team never loses.

Kyle Schwarber should be the National League MVP

Kyle Schwarber should be MVP 'cause he hit, but we talk about that a little bit later. He, he, he, he did hit two home runs on Monday night. They were fucking mammoths.

Anyone who truly dedicates themselves to throwing a knuckleball can make it to Major League Baseball

I think anybody that really dedicates themself to throwing a knuckleball, we'll make it to major league baseball. Agreed.

Kyle Schwarber should win the NL MVP

I was gonna say Kyle Schwarber should be MVP. ... Shohei is not pitching. ... I also have a 90 to one ticket on Kyle Schwarber. But that has nothing to do with us saying Kyle Schwarber should win MVP.

Cal Raleigh should be the AL MVP

I'm not concerned with the NL race. I'm more concerned Cal Raleigh should be AL MVP. I just feel very strongly.

I am officially the best bunter in Major League Baseball history

I do say this though. I do say I'm the best bunter in major league history... I had one bunt attempt got it down. So. Anytime big situations, I always say I'm the best bunner in major league history. You ready to, can't take that away from me. I'm one for one.

Beards are causing baseball injuries because the face is connected to the elbow

My who's back is baseball injuries 'cause Garrett Cole's out for the year... Bad Tommy John. They should never change the rules about shaving your face. Like this, this would not have happened if he was clean shaven. That's true. That's your, your face. Your face is connected to your shoulder, to your elbow.

Juan Soto will sign with the Boston Red Sox

I'm seeing some tweets. I'm seeing some reports... Juan Soto's sister looking at apartments in Boston... Mick Kirk Han guy reported that he's a hundred percent signing with the Red Sox... I've just convinced myself we're getting Soto.

The Philadelphia Phillies will defeat the New York Yankees in the World Series

World Series? I think the Philadelphia Phillies are the best team... Philly's over Yankees.

The New York Yankees need to extend Aaron Boone immediately to show they believe in him

I think that you have to give Aaron Boone an extension and show that you believe in him. And then the rest of the the clubhouse is gonna truly believe in him too. Then you'll be fine.

The MLB should allow players suspended for steroids back early if they win the Home Run Derby

Our idea that we had last year was one of the best, which is if you test positive for steroids, you can get out of your suspension by winning the Home Run Derby.

Ryan Mountcastle will have a massive second half because he's over his vertigo

Ryan Mountcastle. He seems to be over the vertigos, but yeah, he does hit a lot of homers. So he's been saving them. He, this is what he told me. He's been saving them for the second half. And I got him having a big second half.

Shohei Ohtani was likely gambling and is using Ippei Mizuhara as a cover

I think he was gambling... I think they just want the chaos. But I think that's crazy to accuse unless like they did a full investigation and he's clear.

The Yankees have already won the World Series after their opening sweep of Houston

I'd just like to be the first to congratulate Jake's New York Yankees on winning the World Series. Yeah. Four game sweep in Houston. Congrats. Jake. Juan Soto got his pinstripes. New era.

A first-time World Series winner will be crowned in 2024

I have a future that I put in DraftKings that I liked a lot. First time World Series winner. Okay. So either the Rockies, Brewers, Padres, Mariners or Rays... it's pods and rays.

The Rangers will beat the Dodgers in the World Series

I'll go Rangers over Dodgers.

I am betting against the Oakland Athletics -1.5 in every game of the 2024 season

Big Cat and I have decided to fade the athletics every single game. Yep. So we're putting a unit on the athletics every time they play 162 times a year, we're betting against them. Wake up. Bet against the athletics, sleep, profit, repeat. Minus one and a half every single game.

The Houston Astros are going to win the ALCS against the Texas Rangers

The Astros are, I mean, they're gonna win the series, right?

The Phillies will destroy the all-time postseason record for team home runs

The all time record for Homers in a playoff, it was the Tampa Bay Rays in 2020 with 34 home runs in those playoffs. These Phillies are on pace to destroy that record. And it's unreal.

The Phillies will beat the Rangers in the World Series

World Series prediction: Phillies over the Rangers. It just feels like the Phillies won't be denied. They feel more inevitable this year.

The MLB will change the rules to help the Dodgers if they get swept again

Only thing I fear is that if the Dodgers lose again, they're 100% gonna get the rules changed to make it so that the Dodgers can be like automatically in the NLCS. 'Cause this would be back to back years.

Shohei Ohtani will sign with the Mets and fail to live up to his contract

[Ohtani] goes to the Mets and then does not live up to the contract. It would be very funny though if the Mets signed him and then he just pulled a deGrom and just like every year in June, had to get shut down.

Shohei Ohtani should become the best closer in baseball history

Why doesn't Shohei Ohtani become the best closer in the game? I was thinking about that. I went up, looked up Smoltz's history. He was a great pitcher for the Braves. Moved into the closing role and then dominated for a few years, then came back and started. He would be a lights out closer. Imagine if he was just like ding every day and then closing games. That would rule.

Signing Aaron Judge to a mega-deal was a mistake

Build around Aaron Judge. ... I don't know if you wanna build around Aaron Judge. He's like 32 isn't he? They just signed him to a mega deal. I know that was a mistake. ... He's gonna be 32 before next season. Okay. Whew. And he's got like 14 years left on his contract.

Steve Cohen will buy Shohei Ohtani this offseason

He's gonna buy some people. Let's get [Ohtani]. Even though He is not a free agent.

The Home Run Derby should replace the kids in the outfield with fat, drunk adults who we can laugh at for getting hit

I'd rather, if it weren't kids out there, why not just get a bunch of fat like college 20 to 30 year old kids, guys drunk as hell. Fat, like sloppy fat, just falling on their face, getting hit with balls, all that stuff. Cuz then we can laugh as a country, we can laugh at them.

Players caught using steroids should be able to win their freedom back by winning the Home Run Derby

I was thinking that they could incorporate a rule change where if a player gets busted for steroids, they could then elect compete in the home run Derby to win their freedom to win their way out. If they win the home run Derby, they get to come back for the rest of the year and they get to continue using steroids for the rest of the year.

Aaron Judge is cheating and stealing signs again

My other hot seat was Aaron Judge got caught cheating, stealing signs again, Yankees back at it again.

The Pittsburgh Pirates are actually a really good baseball team

Just tip of the cap to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Yeah. With the Sacramento Kings doing that nba, they've been made fun of. They've been bad. The pirates have been awful. And they're... the pirates are really good. The Pittsburgh Pirates.

The Cubs are 'sneaky' might make the playoffs this year

I also put a future on the Cubs at a hundred to one, but whatever. I think they're gonna... no, no. All right. Nevermind. That was a, I've talked myself into the Cubs being scrappy enough to make the playoffs. They're gonna be sneaky... I've now upgraded them to Sneaky might make the playoffs.

Christian Yelich is on pace to hit zero home runs this year

Christian Yelich is on pace to hit zero home runs this year. Love to hear it. Fraud. No power in that guy.

The San Diego Padres will win the World Series

My You wanna just say who our World Series champion is? Yes. San Diego Padres.

The Tampa Bay Rays will win the World Series

You know what? I'll say it. This is the year. I think the Tampa Bay Rays are gonna win it all. They've been knocking at the door where like they'll have a couple years where their advanced analytics will always work... I think they're coming back up this year.

MLB should play 140 games and hold the WBC every year

Why don't they play 140 games, Major League Baseball season, and then we can have a World Baseball Classic every year and you can expand the tournament. I'd be down for that. That would be cool.

MLB pitch velocity will decrease by 0.02 mph this year due to the new shot clock rules

This guy Corky knows his shit. He is projecting right now an average decrease in pitch velocity this year of 0.02 miles per hour. Whoa. Because the new shot clock rules. So yeah, keep that in the back pocket. We're gonna see slower fastballs this year.

Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from his cat, which is why he's messing up player names

Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from living with his cat. Oh. That's why he's messing up names. But I mean, is it really a mess up? Because Chaz Chisholm [Jazz Chisholm] is just a Hall of fame name.

The Phillies will sweep their three home games and win the World Series without returning to Houston

I love my guys. We're gonna win the next three games. We won't even go back to Houston. ... We're gonna score so many runs this week.

The Phillies will beat the Astros in seven games in the World Series

I'm gonna pick the Phillies to win it in seven on the road in Houston... as hot as they are now and what happened against the Braves and how they handled San Diego the way they did... Phillies believe they can beat anybody. Yeah. In this series, man, it's the perfect fit.

I am picking the Phillies to win the World Series in seven games

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna say Phillies in seven as well because that's what my heart wants and if they Astros sweep 'em, I wouldn't be shy. Like that's you are that good? Whatever. That's fine. Let's just, we'll stay the course of Phillies in seven.

The Astros should start cheating again to beat the Yankees in the ALCS

If I'm the Astros, I start cheating again. Like I want, I want them to just beat the fuck outta the Yankees and then to have the Yankees just looking around like what the, what the hell just happened to us? I want spin rates to be off the chart this series.

Aaron Judge will hit his 62nd home run tonight

He's hitting it tonight by the way. Sixty-two. I wanna get hurt. Oh my.

The Mets are going to win the World Series

Now it's like, they're going to win. They're going to win the championship. After that [Timmy Trumpet performance], I was like, the Mets are going to win the championship.

The Mets will lose a deciding playoff game during a live Timmy Trumpet performance

I'm seeing a future where in like the second round of the playoffs and in the NLCS they lose the deciding game on a Timmy Trumpet performance... that would be the optimal end for their season.

Daniel Vogelbach will have a massive moment in late October for the Mets

That team, [Daniel] Vogelbach has just the perfect doing something huge in late October moment. Oh yeah, he's written for it... He is a hero in waiting. Like everyone knows that, buy stock in Vogelbach right now. He will have a big moment. And everyone who hasn't been watching baseball be like, who's this fat guy? This is incredible.

I don't believe Chris Sale actually fell off a bicycle

I just don't believe it. I was gonna say like, gut, just going off my gut right now until I see video evidence. I think he was like playing basketball. I think it was something else. Yeah, no I do. I do not believe because Chris Sale... he just is the king of weird injuries. So I, I don't, I don't really buy it.