Takes

LeBron James shows his teammates up too much on the court

I think he shows his teammates up a little bit too much on the court. You know, and, you know, that's just part of him. I mean, you know, he kind of feel like he earned that. And I mean, that's him... but that's one of the things I don't like he does.

LeBron James drinks enough wine to equal 70 cigarettes a week

LeBron James because a study just came out that a weekly bottle of wine is as bad as smoking 10 cigarettes. And for LeBron, that's like 70 cigarettes because he drinks a bottle every night.

Gar Foreman and John Paxson are the idiots in the room now that Ernie Grunfeld is fired

Gar Foreman and John Paxson because now they are the idiots in the room. So it's like you never want to be the last to leave a party. They are the dum-dums. And you could always say, well, it's not Ernie Grunfeld. Well, guess what? Now Ernie Grunfeld's gone, so you are on the hot seat.

The one-and-done era has watered down both college and NBA basketball

And it's watered down the game a little bit. And then everyone leaving early for the NBA, I think, waters down the NBA a little bit. But it's hard to stop kids from pursuing their dream.

Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were the first guards to have guard skills at 6'9"

Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were the first guys I ever saw six nine six ten bringing the ball up having guard skills so to be on a team with them was just awesome.

LeBron James has smelly breath and halitosis

LeBron James has smelly breath, which shouldn't surprise anyone. Not just because of the wine, but because LeBron definitely is surrounded by yes men, and he probably just does his halitosis breath in everyone's face. You think Maverick Carter's going to be like, hey, Bron, how about a fucking piece of Trident?

Zion Williamson is 'one bad weekend away' from being fat.

Zion Williamson, the best way to describe him is, as a bigger guy myself, he's one bad weekend away from being fat. Like, if I go one weekend where I just eat like shit, drink like shit, don't sleep very well, I'll come in Monday morning and everyone will be like, whoa, dude, what happened to you? And it can happen that fast.

The Lakers will miss LeBron James during the first round of the NBA playoffs.

Everyone out there, please remind us how much fun it's been to talk about LeBron this year because I will have a moment in the first round of the playoffs where I'll be like, I kind of wish LeBron was here.

Mike Brown is a guy who just gets 'bumped' and alpha'd

Ever since LeBron bumped Mike Brown, I'm like, Mike Brown could just be bumped. He's a guy who just can be bumped... You get bumped on national television once, everyone just can kind of alpha you and bump you.

The Sixers are the second biggest team in Philly, behind only the Eagles

When the team was acquired by our group in 2011 – We were the fourth team in the market. It was 100%. It was Eagles, Phillies, Flyers, Sixers. Today, without question, it's Eagles, Sixers.

LeBron James' physical therapist's deleted Instagram post was a calculated excuse for his poor season

[LeBron's] physical therapist put out an Instagram that immediately deleted it... Classic LeBron. To just put it out there, let everyone know that he actually was dealing with a way worse injury, but then have it deleted... this was the ultimate excuse, just a very well-planned excuse.

No elite head coach will want to take the Lakers job

No really good coach is going to want to go there [Lakers], though. Jason Kidd's like the top of the list that you can get. And he's not good.

Ja Morant will be a Chicago Bull

John Morant, future Chicago Bull, John Morant was lights out. And Murray State dominated Marquette.

Isaiah Thomas deserves a tribute video from the Boston Celtics

My Who's Back of the Week is Isaiah Thomas... He's playing the Celtics tonight. I think they have to play the video. He deserves a tribute video. He was a great Celtics player, and he's back tonight. I hope he gets it.

The Lakers should trade LeBron James

Jeff Van Gundy put it out in the universe like last week that the Lakers should trade LeBron, and it's awesome. They should. They should. He's not like he's paying him to be a basketball player.

Basketball players just need to play basketball, regardless of injury risk

This is basketball. It's not football. It's not any of these other sports. Like, basketball players need to play basketball... LeBron, that's what all these players, even Blake Griffin said it himself. You have to play to play. It sounds dumb saying it out loud. You've got to play.

Ja Morant is the second-best player in the 2019 NBA Draft and an electric passer

I think he's the second-best player in the draft... This kid is unique because he, I got to say it the right way, he's Trey Young with more athleticism... I'd be shocked if he doesn't go two.

Maryland's Bruno Fernando will end up being a lottery pick in the NBA Draft

They have a developing young big guy in Bruno Fernando who's going to end up in the lottery. People don't know that yet because I think our guys at ESPN have him 27th. He's going to end up in the lottery.

This is the end of the Golden State Warriors dynasty

The Warriors are on the hot seat because the Warriors are breaking up... Steve Kerr is sick of Draymond's shit. Now, I don't know if that was actually what he was talking about, but it's clear the Warriors have... I feel like this is it. This is it. This is the end. Don't you?

Detroit sports fans are better than L.A. fans because they are more 'locked in'

I actually really do like the sports fans [in Detroit]. There's good sports fans in L.A., but there's so much stuff going on that people don't really care that much. So Detroit, when you're rolling, it feels like everywhere you go, people know what's going on. They know whether you lost last night. I love fans that actually know what's going on.

LeBron James' career scoring milestone feels hollow on a terrible Lakers team

Obviously LeBron's career is unassailable at this point... But don't you think it felt a little hollow, the fact that he's doing it on a terrible Lakers team? If it happened in Cleveland, it would have been a lot bigger of a moment in my mind.

Alex Caruso is a crisis actor from central casting

Caruso is not a real person. I'm convinced that Caruso is a crisis actor. They went to Central Casting in Hollywood, and they were like, we need somebody that looks like he's had all this talent drained by the Monstars.

Steph Curry is the most disrespected superstar in the NBA by his own peers

I think [Steph Curry] is the most disrespected by his peers superstar, which is weird... I feel like a lot of the athletes hate Steph. In some way, it's some bad thing because he had this awesome upbringing... it felt like all five of these guys had ad campaigns built on addressing the haters.

LeBron James will never win another NBA championship

The easiest thing to do in these shows is you just sit out there and you go, I'm guaranteeing it right now LeBron's never winning a championship. It's actually the better bet to make because these are really hard... People at the end of [Kobe's] run don't want to go play with him now. And that was real... I can see where it could go that way [for LeBron].

DeMarcus Cousins will be the downfall of the Warriors' chemistry

Last night was the beginning of the end for DeMarcus Cousins fitting in. He was so bad in that game... Afterwards, a reporter actually said, like, hey, what do you think about your defense? He's like, what do you think? ... I just think that the Boogie thing's going to get worse and worse.

LeBron James is tanking the Lakers' season to lure Kevin Durant to Los Angeles

The one thing I'm keeping an eye on here, I think LeBron might be tanking this season on purpose because KD is going to want to do the opposite thing that he did last time he was a free agent. He wants to go to perhaps the worst team in the league. Right now that looks like the Los Angeles Lakers because they just lost to the worst team in the league two nights ago. So I think that this is LeBron James setting up a long, long proposition here.

The Lakers are officially dead and will not make the playoffs

The Lakers, I'm done chaining them. They are five and a half games back with 18 games to play. They basically have to run the table. They have no chance. They have to run the table to sneak into that last spot. So this is going to be a total failure.

The Celtics can still beat the 76ers, Bucks, and Raptors in a playoff series

The thing with the Celtics and the thing with the Eastern Conference is that, yes, the Celtics are kind of a dumpster fire right now... but I could still see a situation where the Celtics could beat the Sixers, they could beat the Bucks, they could beat the Raptors. And all it takes is you need to win one series, and then it's like everything going forward.

Kyrie Irving's weird behavior is just a quarter-life crisis

My take on this is that Kyrie Irving, he's 26 years old, and I think this is actually a very relatable thing. Stars are just like us. The quarter-life crisis. Kyrie Irving's going through his quarter-life crisis. Everyone hits that point in your mid to late 20s where you're like, what's the meaning of life?

Kyrie Irving is a method actor who has become stuck as the character Uncle Drew

I think he's a method actor. I think when he got into character as Uncle Drew, as like a baby boomer, now he hates all millennials around him. He's a character actor right now and he's still stuck. Andy Kaufman got stuck playing [characters], his mind got messed up. Can you imagine that, playing a character for so long that it starts to affect your brain and everything that you do?

Winning my fantasy basketball league is as satisfying as breaking a major news story

Satisfying is winning. [Winning the fantasy basketball league] would qualify as something that is on that list [more satisfying than breaking a big story]. I won the league last year... No one gives a shit except me that I'm trying to repeat. And it means nothing to anybody, but it means everything to me.

LeBron James is in 'playoff mode,' which means he will not win another title

Playoff mode for LeBron means that he's not going to win another title. So he is currently in playoff mode.

The Boston Celtics are a complete dumpster fire

Celtics are a complete dumpster fire. I don't really have any championship spin zones. I don't really have any optimistic to say about them. I'm kind of just hoping that it's like one of those things where they're just going through the motions in the regular season.

I would still take Brad Stevens over LeBron James

Still take Brad Stevens. [over LeBron].

LeBron James is the best basketball player of his generation and his antics are hilarious

[LeBron] is absolutely the best player of his generation. ... My problem with LeBron lies mostly in the fact that you guys fail to see how hilarious he is. ... without LeBron James in the NBA, there would be so much less laughter.

LeBron James has no friends left and even Carmelo Anthony is ducking his calls

He's such an unusual individual that he's lost all of his friends. ... Even Melo, it's gotten to the point where Carmelo Anthony is ducking LeBron James' calls because that's a toxic friendship.

LeBron James will never win a championship without Lonzo Ball

Lonzo Ball is actually the most correct of anyone because he said that LeBron will never win without him... LeVar Ball said that LeBron will never win without Lonzo, and the Lakers are not as good of a team when Lonzo's out.

LeBron James is a piece of shit teammate and a bad look for the sport of basketball

Big Cat, I know you love hoops, but what he's doing right now... It's actually pathetic. It's just so embarrassing. He's the worst role model I've ever seen. ... He is just a shitbag. He's such a shitty teammate.

Rebounding is more about hard work and film study than just effort

I think it's more hard work than anything. I think you have to look at film. You've got to look at people. You've just got to go out there and just put everything on the line. As far as scoring, that's easy.

Michael Jordan never took days off or missed games whereas LeBron James does

Michael, no matter what, he compete, no matter what. LeBron, you can see LeBron, what he's doing. He don't even play defense anymore. He don't give a fuck. Michael played every fucking day, every day, every game. LeBron's taking days off.

The Minnesota Timberwolves will never win an NBA title due to the Ja Rule curse

The Minnesota Timberwolves will never win an NBA title. It has been declared. You just jinxed yourself talking to the God [Ja Rule] this way. You're cursed now. You won't win a championship for the next 30 years and [Karl-Anthony Towns] is leaving.

LeBron James will fake a season-ending injury if the Lakers miss the playoffs

As soon as it becomes like this is a realistic thing [missing the playoffs], [LeBron James] will definitely be like, oh, my hamstring hurts because too much sheesh. My groin. His groin issue. All the sheesh has added weight to my groin.

Kyrie Irving's leadership style is based on his Uncle Drew character

I think Kyrie Irving has just thought he is like now Uncle Drew because he was in that movie. He is like the old guy who's trying to teach everyone else on the team... he doesn't really know how to be like a true leader except for a really bad Hollywood movie.

The Celtics' internal tension will lead to 20 championships

This tension that they have right now is going to really, it's going to bring the team together as one. They're going to unite. Kyrie's going to be a leader. Then he's going to resign and he's going to stay a Celtic until he actually dies until he's 70 years old and he's going to have 20 championships.

James Dolan will eventually find a way to ruin a Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant pairing

You know what I'm really excited for? To see how James Dolan can fuck up Kyrie Irving and KD together. Yeah, that's never going to work.

Zion Williamson will be a Chicago Bull and his appearance in next year's dunk contest will be an all-time moment

Zion going next year's dunk contest will be incredible because Zion Williamson, as a Chicago Bull, doing it in the United Center is going to be an all-time moment.

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant are going to sign with the New York Knicks

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant are in love. Full-blown love. They were like tickling each other. They were horsing around. A lot of horseplay. You just got to say, New York Knicks.

I would rather be a dead-eye three-point shooter for the rest of my life than be able to dunk

If I could pick one for the rest of my life, to be awesome at dunking or wet from three at all times, I think I would take wet from three... Anytime you're open, think about this. Any guy in the NBA, like if they're open, they just make it. Having that would be so incredible.

The New Orleans Pelicans are stupid if they don't sit Anthony Davis for the rest of the season

If the Pelicans don't sit him for the rest of the year, they're so stupid. Because that would be the ultimate, just having him get some kind of injury where you're like, come on, man, are you serious? You couldn't just sit him?

Oldest player dunking should be a new All-Star Weekend contest

We should, to make the dunk contest better, before the dunk contest, they should do a contest, oldest guy that can dunk. So oldest NBA player that can still dunk... I want to know who all the retired guys have gotten fat.