Takes

Duke could beat the Cleveland Cavaliers

Zion Williamson, R.J. Barrett, Alex O'Connell. It's the big three, and Paul Pierce told them they could beat the Cavs, and they could. Dukes, yeah.

Jamal Murray will never score 50 points again after his disrespectful three-point attempt

The basketball gods are frowning on Jamal Murray... And now the basketball gods are thundering down upon Jamal Murray. He's not going to score 50 points ever this year because he tried that Mickey Mouse stunt.

LeBron James' vote of confidence for Luke Walton is a kiss of death

LeBron getting coaches fired... So he gave Luke Walton a vote of confidence. So you know what that means... Suspect kiss of death. ... You know what that means when LeBron says, no, I like Luke Walton. Yeah, you're done.

Space Jam 2 is a fake movie used by LeBron to launder money to potential free agents

Couldnt you just offer [a superstar] a role in Space Jam 2 and through your production company pay him, I don't know, $30 million a year? Kevin Durant takes the veteran minimum on the books and... Now, I took it a step further than that because this movie has been delayed and delayed... I'm not sure that it's a real movie. ... He's got a fake movie. Follow the checks. Follow the money.

LeBron James is suffering from alcohol withdrawal after drinking two bottles of wine

LeBron, this is a symptom of alcohol withdrawal... He had at least two bottles of wine, to himself, split maybe with a couple glasses to his three-year-old kid or whatever... that would put his blood alcohol content at above the legal limit... which means the next day he was going through symptoms of alcohol withdrawal, which is maybe why they lost.

The Cleveland Cavaliers should hire J.R. Smith as a player-coach

I am in full support of player coach J.R. Smith. J.R. Smith, player coach. Get it trending. Do it. Petty War. NBA Twitter, you got this.

The Jimmy Butler trade to the Rockets should cost at least seven first-round picks

I think it's got to be worth at least seven [first-round picks].

Chris Paul is the worst teammate in the NBA

Chris Paul, worst teammate in the league... It says all of his former teammates. Ryan Hollins and Glen Davis [say it].

LeBron James moved to the Lakers to hide from his critics

Is LeBron James hiding from us? Because here's what happened. At like 12:30, I went to sleep. I missed all of the fourth quarter, missed the free throws... I think that LeBron James has moved out west because he knows... MJ people, we're getting a little older, got to get to sleep. The LeBron stans... they stay up all night... and LeBron knows he will not get criticized... Like, I should have been there hating LeBron when he missed those free throws. Except, father time has taken its hold on me, and I need to go to sleep.

Boban Marjanovic is not of this world

My who's back is Boban... His clips of him playing are, I mean, I remember people talking about him last year, but this year it's like surreal. He's not of this world. It's like he's playing on a seven-foot hoop.

Kevin Durant will sign with the Knicks to get his 'masculinity' back

This is going to be the greatest free agent summer of all time, because we basically have Kevin Durant being like, can an entire internet troll him into going to the Knicks just to try to get his made-up masculinity back... We will take away the Triple B [Baby Back Bitch] if he goes to the Knicks.

The G-League's $125k offer is a major threat to the NCAA

The G-League has come out and they have said that they are giving a $125,000 contract to players that could be eligible for the one and done and they want to skip college... This is trouble for the NCAA.

The Bucks will win over 48.5 games and win the Central Division

I have the Bucks over 48 and a half. I think the Bucks are going to be very good. I think they'll win the Central. I think Giannis is going to – do you see he shoots threes now?

LeBron James and the Lakers will win 50 games this season

I have the Lakers over 47 and a half... LeBron's going to win 50 games. I just think there's no way. I think Brandon Ingram is very, very good.

The 76ers will win under 53.5 games because Joel Embiid will get injured

I have the under 76ers, 53 and a half. That's just a pure hate bias. No way they all say healthy. Embiid's probably going to get injured for 75 games.

The Wizards will go over their win total because John Wall, Bradley Beal, and Dwight Howard will have great chemistry

I'm also going to take the over on the Wizards. I think that Wall and Beal and Dwight Howard are going to have great chemistry. They're big three.

Jimmy Butler's practice takeover in Minnesota was a Jordan-esque move

Jimmy Butler wants to be traded... Jimmy shows up to practice for the first time and basically emasculates the entire organization. He takes the bench players, the third stringers, and beats the first team... I'm a Jimmy Butler skeptic through and through. I'm skeptical of his top 20-ness. But this was a Jordan move.

Jimmy Butler is officially 100% a dickhead and a diva

Let's just, because we're kind of all on Jimmy Butler's side, let's just say Jimmy Butler's for sure a dickhead. Like 100%. Yes, he's 100% a dickhead, a diva... it's clear that he's really feeling himself these days.

LeBron James should go to jail for giving his kids wine

Hot take, LeBron James should definitely go to jail, and this is the worst parenting move of all time, and I cannot believe that he is poisoning his children. I'm disgusted. I deleted my screensaver of LeBron James in a Lakers uniform, and I'll probably never watch NBA again.

I could convince Kyrie Irving that Australia doesn't exist in five minutes

I'm convinced that I could convince Kyrie Irving that Australia didn't exist if you gave me five to seven minutes in a room with him.

Matt Barnes is the one who looks bad in the Kobe flinch video

I was questioning Matt Barnes' toughness because I thought Matt Barnes was cool enough to like put the ball directly in Kobe's face. It turns out he was he was the one being a pussy. Why are we shaming Kobe Bryant for not flinching at a ball that was not thrown at his face? So this is actually a Matt Barnes problem. Matt Barnes is not man enough.

Jimmy Butler will be traded to the Phoenix Suns

Breaking case of emergency, Jimmy Butler trade. He just got traded to the Suns... Devin Booker, DeAndre Ayton, Jimmy Butler.

Injured players secretly hope their team loses so their importance is validated

I don't think you'd be human if there wasn't a part of you that was like, I hope that we lose... it's the competitive nature in you. I know you're obviously rooting for your teammates. You want them to win, but there's a part of you that always wants to be part of the winning team.

Brad Stevens is the best X's and O's coach I have ever seen

From an X's and O's standpoint, he's one of the best, if not the best I've ever seen. It's like when you watch... the Celtics games, or if you have watched old Butler games, like after timeout plays, we're getting the bucket every time.

A Jimmy Butler trade to the Heat would make them a top-four seed in the East

Jimmy Butler with the Heat, do they compete in the East? Yeah. I'd say that they're probably... Three or four seed? I'm going to go with probably the Raptors, the Celtics, the Heat.

Shaq and Dwight Howard are more alike than people realize

Shaq and Dwight Howard are more alike than people realize... Shaq is kind of a fucking loser like that too, where he can joke... but if you come at him, he's kind of a baby about it.

You cannot win a championship with Jimmy Butler as your number one guy

I would not want to pay [Jimmy Butler] a max deal right now. I don't think that you can win a championship with Jimmy Butler as your one or one a guy.

LeBron James carries the ball on every single possession

I love LeBron, but we used to call carries. He carries on every possession. Every possession. He palms and also he's got that hand out [stiff arm]. So he's allowed to hand check.

The Kobe/Shaq Lakers three-peat team would destroy the Steph Curry Warriors

I think that the Kobe/Shaq three-peat team would destroy Steph Curry's team. Because who would guard Shaq? Look, if they're going to bomb from outside and beat you, they will beat you, and that's it. But they're not coming inside, so just let them do it. Live and die by the three.

DC Sports is back following Elena Delle Donne's performance and the Nationals' .500 record

My Who's Back of the Week is DC Sports. DC Sports is back. The Nats are 69-69. ... And the Mystics are still in the playoffs. Elena Delle Donne... basically broke her leg in half. ... But she came back, put the team on her goddamn back.

I am a better athlete now at 34 than I was at 22

I think just to the naked eye, it's not visible that I'm a better athlete, but I am a better athlete, even at my age than I was at 22. ... at 34, like, I feel like I move as well or better than I did at 27. I just can't leap like I used to.

Kevin Durant joining the Warriors was a great decision for player autonomy

I like seeing a player ultimately do what he wants to do, what's going to make him happy, even if he pisses a bunch of people off. ... to just take a pay cut to take a pay cut makes zero sense. And no one in any other industry does that.

Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons will be first-team All-NBA players in five years

In five years when I'm done playing, those guys are first team, all NBA players, you know? ... Joe, as good as he is and Ben is as good as he is, are still going to be so much better.

Dwight Howard's plan to evolve into Kevin Durant and take jumpers will be a disaster

First one is the entire NBA because Dwight Howard, his trainer, has said that Dwight Howard wants to evolve into Anthony Davis, into Kevin Durant, but his own version of that... So Dwight Howard is going to start taking jumpers, which is going to be hilarious. It's going to be fun watching him try to shoot and take shots from John Wall and Bradley Beal.

LeBron James will win exactly one more NBA championship in his career

I'll go under [1.5]. I think he has one more. But usually these guys, this means they're done. Remember the Kobe stuff? We're like, oh, nobody wants him more than Kobe. You want it all you want. This is over.

Kawhi Leonard might stay in Toronto long-term because he'll realize how great the city is

Kawhi could be sitting here going, I'm not staying in Toronto. And then you're there. Toronto's awesome. Currency. Exactly.

LeBron James is objectively very smart

I would say LeBron James is not dumb. I'd actually say he's very, very smart, objectively very, very smart... look at all his businesses and all that and how he's handled his entire career. He's a very smart person.

I'm never going to retire from the NBA

I'm not retired, man. I'm never going to retire from the NBA. Just leave that there.

I consider myself one of the greatest bench players in basketball history

I just knew that, all right, Nate, you're never going to be able to start. You're not going to be a starting point guard in this league, but we're going to make the best of it, and you're going to be one of the best players that ever come off the bench. And I think I did that, and I consider myself one of the greatest players that ever come off the bench to play the game of basketball.

LeBron James will never speak to Tristan Thompson again following the Draymond Green club fight.

LeBron then left the club right after because he was sick of the shit. And that leads me to the question, do you think LeBron James will ever speak to Tristan Thompson again in his life? He's a fake friend. You don't leave your friend behind like that. He's never going to converse with him again. That was it.

Kevin Durant's social media sensitivity shows he is not at peace with his move to the Warriors

If people bring up him [Kevin Durant] going to the Warriors, he clearly is not at peace with that decision, even though it has worked out better than even he could have expected... It is because you're Kevin Durant, you're not supposed to respond to trolls in your mentions.

Losing the 2011 Finals to the Mavericks was ultimately good for LeBron James's legacy

The best thing that happened to LeBron, even though the way they lost was not great, the best thing that happened to LeBron was that Miami team losing to Dallas. Because it validated those other two titles. It made it seem hard... The fact that they had real adversity made the rest of the championships feel validated to the public.

LeBron James is objectively the greatest basketball player ever

Wouldn't change the fact that he's [LeBron James] objectively and obviously the greatest basketball player ever.

LeBron James intentionally put together a 'blame team' of flawed teammates for his first year in LA

LeBron James, the 2018-19 Los Angeles Lakers, he has put together the greatest blame team of all time. He's basically punted on this year... They have Rondo, JaVale McGee, Lance Stevenson, Michael Beasley. That team will get blamed and laughed at on Twitter every single night, and LeBron James will basically be like, well, what is he supposed to do?

The 2018-19 Lakers will be a 4 or 5 seed in the Western Conference

The Lakers shouldn't be very good this year, right? Yeah, I think probably like the four or five seed. Yeah, they'll finish somewhere around there.

Kevin Durant is thin-skinned but owning up to it makes him relatable

[Durant] can be a thin-skinned B-word, and he also can be very real and actually kind of owning up to the fact that he's a thin-skinned B-word, which I do respect. It makes him so much more relatable. The fact that he deals with the same problems that we deal with.

The Lakers have 14 players other than LeBron James who know how to play basketball

the narrative that LeBron James doesn't have any good teammates... super cool Michael Beasley said... you got 14 guys other than LeBron James that know how to play basketball. Also fact.

Kevin Love has the perfect career because he has a ring and now has zero pressure playing for the Cavs

I feel like Kevin Love has finally reached happiness... now he gets to just be on the Cavs and hang out and not make the playoffs and shoot the ball a lot... make a lot of money. Hang out. Put up stats. Live a good life. I kind of love it.

The Cleveland Cavaliers will make the playoffs as a 7 or 8 seed this year without LeBron James

I think the Cavs are going to make the playoffs. That's my hot take. I think they're going to be like a 7 or an 8 seed.

Dwight Howard is the ultimate locker room cancer because he ruins every team he joins

dwight howard is my number one in like the world to me he is everywhere he goes he is terrible... he's been with all those teams. He's ruined all of those teams. I honestly think if you put him on your team, you're just basically... trying to destroy your team from within.