Takes

Selling songs to commercials is a valid way to support a family and not 'selling out'

I've always viewed music with the eye of like... laughing and kind of throwing up like, kind of like that, that whole thing that exists in the urban world. That's kind of like, yeah, yeah, I'm in this commercial and it's dope and it's taking care of my family... I've just never understood the mentality... of like, hey, it's sellouty to make money and I'd rather be like a cool hipster that is not making money for my family.

Big Cat should buy Bitcoin, but PFT Commenter should stay away

Should you buy Bitcoin? I would say for Big Cat, I'd say for sure do it. For PFT, I would say not a good idea for you right now.

Never partner with someone in business who cheats on their family

Somebody said to me, man, don't be partners with somebody who would cheat like that because he'll screw you in a heartbeat. ... If you're cheating someone else, then I'm convinced you're going to cheat me too.

People with the biggest egos have the thinnest wallets

You ever notice that people with the biggest ego have the thinnest fucking wallet? Because he doesn't listen to anybody. His ego gets in a way that's typically not very successful.

No business gets done in America during November and December

No business gets done in the months of November, December in America. No business really gets done in March because of March Madness. Then April, the start of summer vacation season is usually June 3rd through August, let's say. So really, if you don't get any work done September, October, February, or March... yeah, then you pretty much screwed.

Hewlett-Packard is a 'vile' company

The post office, I think the post office, unfortunately, you're just fighting. The stupidity of it is incredible ... Hewlett-Packard, on the other hand, is a vile company.

Billionaires should pay for their own stadiums

It's unpopular to say it, but I think that billionaires should pay for their own fucking stadiums too, Bill [Simmons].

99% of office meetings could be solved with a text thread

I would say that 99% of meetings in general could just be solved with a text thread.

Adding a second staircase to elevated bar levels significantly increases social interaction

I used to build elevated levels in bar and restaurants like everyone else with a staircase... you feel like a freaking idiot. You've got to turn around, walk back the other way. You're busted... So I simply put a second staircase in on the other side... social interaction went up big time. I'm guessing there are people that are married to this very day because of that freaking staircase.

Cell phone and cable companies are the best businesses because customers are ignorant but need the product

There are two businesses that you really should be in... the cell phone business and in the cable business. Because when you are in a business where the customers don't understand what it's all about, what the bills are all about, but they need it, what better business could that be?

LaVar Ball is on a mission to sell the shittiest products for the highest prices possible

I think LaVar Ball is on a mission to sell the shittiest products for the highest prices possible. Yes, the least desirable products. It's actually a smart move of him, though, to limit the number that he could sell this time.

Big Baller Brand shoes look like old guy catering shoes

They do look like old guy shoes. They've got that non-slip look to them like you might see in a crab restaurant. Actually, you know what? When you get a job as a caterer, they're like, everyone needs to wear shoes that look like this.

Under Armour deliberately releases bad shoe photos for the publicity

I do think that Steph Curry, there's an element where Under Armour is like, we're never going to be the cool shoes. So we'll release some bad pictures again. Let everyone roast us. How are you going to get publicity for Steph Curry's shoes other than letting the internet roast you?

Big companies use 'company policy' as a fake government-level authority to deny rights

But these big companies, they tell you, you know, I wanted to return something. And they say, you can't. And I said, who says? They said, that's our company policy... they make it sound like the government has set this up and this is the way it's going to be forever and a day and you have no right to even challenge that policy. I can't stand that.

Mark Cuban has become everything he used to hate

Something's been going on with the Cuban recently because he used to be woke. He was the wokest of the old owners. Now he's become everything that he used to hate. He's getting duped left and right.

Customer service lines intentionally disconnect you when transferring to customer relations

Then when you start to talk about why you're calling, you know what happens? They'll say, oh, we're in the sales department. We're going to transfer you over to Customer relations, and then what do you think happens? You get disconnected. I've lived through this.

The only way to make money gambling is to bet one game a week and load up

You bet one game a week. Load up. That's the only way to make money gambling. You cannot make money gambling betting every single day. None, never, has never happened.

Houseboats are the safest long-term investment due to rising sea levels

Polar ice caps. The whole world's going to be the ocean eventually. I'd say houseboats actually are probably the safest investment out there. ... I'm talking like three, 400 years here. You might want to be the guy with the houseboat.

When a company is sold to a large investment group, the quality of the product always goes down

Just a word of warning, like any time that you're employed by a company that gets sold, like if you're a company that's made its name for itself and then it gets sold to like a big time investment group, the quality of the product is going to go way, way down.

Under Armour is the Buffalo Bills of shoes and cannot win the big one

Under Armour can't win the big one. They can't. They're the Buffalo Bills of Shoes. You know what I'd like to see more of on Twitter? I'd like to see more people tweeting the dumpster fire image at, like, live look at Under Armour right now. It's a dumpster fire.