Takes

Professional sports teams are starting to incorporate Dungeons and Dragons into their operations

If anyone's been noticing the Chiefs recently ran D&D on my and like put it up on social media and stuff. All I will say right now is I'm talking to some teams.

Sam Darnold is officially confirmed as a franchise 'guy'

The Super Bowl was [Sam Darnold's] hundred and first game. So we do confirmed to have a guy. Todd Bowles saw it. Yes.

Sam Darnold's performance in the NFC Championship game was his defining moment as a quarterback.

The way he [Sam Darnold] won the NFC championship game cannot be forgotten because that was probably the Super Bowl... that was his defining win as a quarterback in terms of how he played. He played a perfect game.

I lost a $40,000 bet on the Patriots money line in Super Bowl 60.

I did lose $40,000 today. Yeah, it's a lot of money. Dude, that's a car. I could get a sick car with $40,000. I could get a new El Camino with that.

Mike McDonald is a defensive wizard who has swung the NFL back toward defensive-minded head coaches.

Mike McDonald is a defensive wizard... For a league that is going in one direction in terms of offensive head coaches, he has completely swung it back and being like, I can scheme up a game. I can have a game plan ready to go.

I am not retiring from the NFL

I am not retiring. I averaged 15 yards a catch last year, man. People don't retire off that shit.

The Seahawks are primed to win the Super Bowl because they eliminated the 49ers

Seven of the last eight teams to eliminate the 49ers have gone on to win the Super Bowl. That's kind of crazy. ... The Seahawks are primed to win the Super Bowl 'cause they have eliminated the 49ers.

Mark Sanchez has more career playoff wins than Justin Herbert

Mark Sanchez has more playoff wins than Justin Herbert. ... Significantly more.

CJ Stroud was 'mega ass' against the Patriots

CJ Stroud, CJ Stroud. Little bro ass. Lil bro ass... He was the most ass he's ever been. Wow. It was that ass. And he's been ass before. It was mega ass.

Drake May is the worst quarterback in the NFL when facing third-and-six.

Drake May is the worst quarterback in the NFL on third and sixth. And it's not close Since, since he got, where did you get this? Since he got into the league... He's 36th in the NFL... five for 18. 27%. The league average, I believe is 40.

Matt Stafford is unreliable when protecting a lead in the second half.

Matt Stafford, when he has a lead at halftime, his record against the spread in the second half. The second half spread 35% of the time, he covers only 35%. Pretty bad.

The Bears have a significant special teams advantage over the Rams in the Divisional Round.

I've meant to say that the one place that the Bears have a significant advantage is special teams. The, the Rams have been kind of like, they got a punt blocked. The kicker's been bad. The Bears, Cairo. Santos has been good.

Caleb Williams is a 'big game' quarterback

The thing I'm actually least worried about is I, I think Caleb Williams is like a big game guy. Like, I think he's gonna be ready for this game... I think he's big game Caleb.

The Jaguars are better than the Bills at everything except for having Josh Allen

The Jaguars are better at everything, but they don't have Josh Allen and Josh Allen. You're totally right. When it gets to the playoffs, it's like stuff doesn't hurt anymore... He's liable to go nuclear.

Mike McDaniel was cursed by the football gods for not breaking the NFL scoring record against the Broncos

2023 Dolphins scored 70 points. Mike McDaniel chose not to go for the NFL record at the end of the game. Did not kick a field goal. I believe the football gods cursed him after that moment. The Dolphins went 23 and 25 after that. The Broncos went 32 and 16 after that moment.

The Seahawks will secure the NFC's one seed if they win their last two games

The [Seahawks] are now looking like if they can win their last two games, they will have the one seed in the NFC for the playoffs.

The Bears vs. Packers Week 16 game is a must-win for Chicago to avoid playoff uncertainty

This one you gotta win because the Bears are most likely gonna make the playoffs if they lose this game. Then it starts to get, Hey, what's going on here? You start looking at the calculations and the 49ers are a game that's coming up next week and then the Lions in week 18. You don't want to get to a spot where the Lions Week 18 becomes a win and get in.

Mike McDaniel cannot win in cold weather

The Dolphins have lost 13 straight games, including the playoffs, with kickoff temperatures below 40 degrees since 2016. ... He keeps saying that he's not cold and he gets there early to practice in the cold. ... Mentally, physically, in all the ways, the cold has beaten him.

The Rams money line is the play because of Sean McVay's new baby

Sean McVay, they, the Rams money line's gotta be the play. ... Absolutely. New baby. Good vibes.

The 'Haters' were right about Jayden Daniels being injury prone

The haters were right. Congratulations. Jayden's shut down for the season. RG4, injury prone, made out of glass. ... Haters were right. Can't say anything to the haters. Focus on next year.

Philip Rivers won't play as well in his second game back

Seattle didn't come after him at all. ... I have to imagine they're gonna come after him a little bit more this week, put some pressure on him... that ball's gonna come out quick. He's not gonna take a whole lot of hits. ... I don't know that that's gonna bode well for Philip, unfortunately.

The Jaguars won't make noise in the playoffs despite Trevor Lawrence's form

Trevor Lawrence has certainly gotten better this year. I'm not too concerned about the Jacksonville Jaguars making noise in the playoffs, so— [Big Cat: 'Oh, okay. So yeah, we do overreact to everything.']

The 49ers will be a very dangerous team in the playoffs

Brock Purdy, he's starting to really warm up. ... they're getting healthy at the right time on offense. ... I think they'd be a really dangerous team in the playoffs. ... a team rallying to the ball on defense and it pops out to you when you're watching.

The Raiders are the worst team in the NFL

The Raiders are the worst team in the league. I agree. I know. I do not think that there's a debate for it. They're one of the worst teams like ever. It's crazy watching 'em play.

The road to the AFC Championship currently goes through Denver

They're now standing alone at the one seed. ... If they have the one seed, I would be nervous. ... The road right now goes through Denver.

If the Panthers beat the Saints, next week's game against the Buccaneers is for the NFC South

With a win over the Saints on Sunday, the Carolina Panthers can make next week's game a clinching game... If the Panthers beat the Saints this weekend in New Orleans, that makes next week's game, which I believe is in Charlotte against the bucks that would be for the NFC South.

I bet the Chiefs beat the Chargers because it is a massive trap spot for the public

I love the Chiefs in this game and I am saying that from a point of, I'm not someone who's been chasing the Chiefs every single week... This feels like a huge trap. Everyone watched the Chargers win on Monday night. Everyone watched the Chiefs lose on Sunday night. Now the Chargers are getting five and a half points... I think Mahomes is going to maybe do the dink and dunk down the field. I like the Chiefs in this game.

The Seahawks are going to 'kill' and 'fuck up' Philip Rivers in his return

But the Seahawks are probably gonna fuck him up probably... This is a I'm worried about him getting hit. That's the problem... I think the Seahawks are gonna maybe kill him. Seahawks are really fucking good.

Jalen Hurts without Lane Johnson is statistically identical to 2022 Justin Fields

Blind resume QB one [Jalen Hurts without Lane Johnson]: 17 games, 2,700 passing yards, 16 touchdowns, 13 interceptions, 78.2 passer rating. QB two [Justin Fields in 2022]: 15 games, 2200 yards, 17 touchdowns, 11 interceptions, 85.2 passer rating.

Colts GM Chris Ballard is on the hot seat because he hasn't won the division in nine years

My Hot Seat is Chris Ballard. I'm gonna put him back on the Hot Seat. The GM for the Colts... has been the GM for the Colts since 2017, nine years. He has never won the AFC South.

The Dolphins will beat the Steelers on Monday Night Football

They're [Steelers] playing the Dolphins on Monday Night Football. They're gonna lose. Take Dolphins.

The Chiefs are officially done

I declared them [Chiefs] done on Thanksgiving. I don't think they're gonna do it. Is there anything that you've seen from the Chiefs this year that would make you afraid of the Chiefs in the playoffs?

The Texans are the most dangerous team in the AFC right now

I think the Texans are go 12 and 5. I think they're in the most dangerous team in the AFC right now in terms of just their defense.

The Steelers have become a retirement home for players

The Steelers did sign Adam Thielen today, who is a 2018 pro bowler... Mike Tomlin has gotten to the point where you can just perfectly troll him and predict everything he does... the Steelers are just become a retirement home for, for players. It's crazy.

Younghoe Koo's terrible field goal attempt was a check swing, not the yips

It looked like the yips. I thought he had the yips... But when I heard his explanation after the game, I watched it again... it was his holder Gilliam, he caught it. And then the ball started to fall a little bit. And so at the last second, Younghoe pulled up... It was a check swing.

Drake Maye is not in the elite 300-yard passing club yet

Drake Maye is not on it. There's an elite club and all the players know about it. The 300 club, the 300 yard club... he hasn't thrown for 300 yards yet. What's up with that?

The 49ers will win the Super Bowl if they make the playoffs

The 49ers I think since there's no really good teams. They're Super Bowl contenders. Yeah. This is the year that they do it. The Niners, if they make the playoffs, they go to the Super Bowl. Yeah.

The 2025 Houston Texans will be the second team since 2000 to start 0-3 and make the playoffs

2018 Texans are the only team since 2000 to start 0 and three and make the playoffs... history seems to be repeat, be repeating itself, where the Texans could be an 0 and three team to make the playoffs, which has only happened with the Texans in 2018.

Kyler Murray is done with the Arizona Cardinals

I gotta believe that Kyler is done in Arizona. Yeah. Has to be. Right? Yeah. He's the, I assume there's like a line out the door of, of quarterbacks that are like, they'll be the next McVay, right?

The 49ers are good enough to overcome multiple turnovers from Brock Purdy

The to be up at half after your quarterback throwing three interceptions... it just shows that the Niners are starting to, you know, they're they're good enough that they can overcome those things.

The loser of the Chiefs vs. Cowboys Thanksgiving game is eliminated from playoff contention

I personally say eliminated from playoff contention... to the loser of this game. You can't have the number five in the win column at Thanksgiving. You can't do that.

The Chiefs' 18% success rate in clutch situations is the worst of any NFL team in the last decade

If you make the criteria that if it's within eight points... in the final five minutes of regulation... the Chiefs... success rate is, I believe [Mahomes] is two for 10... That means they have an 18% success rate in those clutch situation plays. 18% would be the absolute lowest of any NFL team over the last eight years... the worst mark of any team in the last decade per the Athletic.

The Commanders are one of the worst teams in the league

I think the Commanders are one of the worst teams in the league. We just lost to the Dolphins... the offense is trash, the defense is also very, very, very bad.

The Bears have officially graduated to being a good team

I do officially think we've graduated to good. We're obviously not great, but we're good for right now. Seven and three. You can't deny that they just find ways to win games.

We are officially done with the Bengals for the 2025 season

Can we be done with the Bengals? ... They're not making the playoffs. Joe Burrow, don't rush back. We're done. I think Bengals fans would agree. We're done with the Bengals this year.

The Broncos are better than the Chiefs right now

Bo Nicks outplayed Patrick Mahomes... The Broncos are better than the Chiefs right now. Like, that's just a fact. And they are a legitimate threat and a really, really fucking good team.

Wind is less impactful on football games in Denver due to the high altitude

Did you know that at altitude mile high, the wind doesn't have as much of an effect because the air is so thin. So if it's blowing 20 miles an hour, 20 miles an hour in Denver is like 25 miles an hour down at sea level.

The Jets fleeced the Cowboys in the Quinnen Williams trade

You gotta haul. I would even say memes, I dare say fleeced. I think you fleeced the Cowboys.

Jerry Jones is the biggest loser of the NFL trade deadline

Jerry Jones is the big loser in all of this because he traded for a guy [Quinnen Williams] in on a season that things aren't going well. And then also watched Micah Parsons... it feels like Jerry Jones should have gotten more from Micah Parsons is my big point.

Aaron Glenn is an analytically sound 'math guy' head coach

Aaron Glenn first win as an NFL head coach also Math guy... he showed a couple games that he's a math guy. Yeah. The Bucks game. He went for two... He's an analytically sound, but it worked. He was down 14, late in the game in the fourth quarter. Scored a touchdown, went for two, then scored again. Won the game in regulation with an extra point certified math guy.