Takes

The Texans will finish the 2020 season with a 5-11 or 6-10 record

I think that the Texans are going to stink next year and be like 5-11, 6-10.

I will bet on any NFL team that was bad the previous year in Week 1

My week one strategy is just basically bet on the teams that sucked last year.

The Arizona Cardinals are being overlooked heading into the 2020 season

DeAndre Hopkins is on the Cardinals, just a reminder. Everyone's forgetting about the Cardinals.

I am probably the first No. 1 overall draft pick to still be living in their parents' basement a month after the draft

My dad likes to make the joke that I'm a 23-year-old millionaire living in my parents' basement. Yeah, it's not a joke. It's not a joke at this point.

Jordan Love will probably be a Hall of Famer because that's how it works for the Packers

Jordan Love will probably be a Hall of Famer just because that's how it always works out for [the Packers]. I just like that they're in, you know, it's just discombobulated for a minute. So just the drama over there brings me joy.

Kirk Cousins is a good quarterback but he turtles under pressure

I like Kirk. He's a good quarterback... the thing about him is just, he's not mobile. It's almost comical when shit hits a fan where he's just like, okay, bye. [He turtles].

Tailgating is better than actually going to the game

I actually think the tailgate is better than going to the game. If a perfect Sunday would be to tailgate then go watch all the games, because there's something about a tailgate when you have that vibe where everyone's excited for what could possibly happen and everyone's in a great mood.

Blake Bortles is being blackballed by the NFL because he drives a Tesla

I think that Blake Bortles is being blackballed by the NFL because he drives a Tesla and because the league sponsors are motor oil companies [like] Castrol, Havoline, other competing rivals against Elon Musk and Tesla.

Jameis Winston's LASIK surgery might turn him into 'Captain Checkdown'

What if [Jameis Winston] is able to see those cornerbacks and he becomes Captain check down and he's like, I can't believe I used to make those throw[s]... his eyes are going to be seeing ghosts and it's going to affect his personality like any wild way.

The Patriots would be a good landing spot for Andy Dalton

Andy Dalton, I would take a chance on it. Patriots might [be], it seems like a good landing spot for him. I'd be fine with him.

Andy Dalton has had a better NFL career than Carson Wentz

Andy Dalton if the season ended today for both their careers Andy Dalton had a better career than Carson Wentz... His highs were better than Andy Dalton's [but] you can't put Carson ahead [of] Andy.

Jameis Winston signing with the Saints is a genius move to eventually become the starter in waiting

It actually is genius move by him because Drew Brees you have to think... maybe this year's is last year. Maybe he's got two more years. If you could ingratiate yourself to Sean Payton and what they have going on there... that's actually a very smart thing to do to be the guy in waiting.

Jameis Winston's performance is significantly better on turf than on grass

his grass versus Turf split you ready for this... on grass 22 touchdowns 27 interceptions on Turf 11 touchdowns three interceptions. Wow, his passer rating is almost it's 35 points higher on Turf than it is in Grass.

The 2020 football season will feature the greatest tailgates of all time if fans are allowed

every football tailgate this is probably the greatest thing ever do you think that when we get back but I don't... it just doesn't seem realistic... if we hit the bars and we're like you know what I kind of miss being at home.

The NFL should adopt a hybrid draft format where the first round is live but later rounds are remote

If they can do a blend if they could do a hybrid it would be perfect. I would want the first round live with people in the draftees in the spot... but I agree with you like if we could do rounds 4 through 7 where everyone is remote and you can see into the room like living rooms of all the coaches and GM's that was fascinating.

Jameis Winston will start at least six games for the Saints this year

I have a bold prediction. I think Jameis is starting at least six games this year... I think Drew Brees is gonna get injured and miss at least six games this year and then Jameis would start those six games.

NFL teams should be allowed to use a draft pick to own the rights to a college coach

Is it possible that you could draft a coach? Could you use a draft pick on a college coach to prevent another team from hiring them to be on their roster? ... If you think that hypothetically the Los Angeles Chargers are going to hire Urban Meyer as coach next year, why wouldn't you if you're in the AFC West draft Urban Meyer and then you have his rights for at least the next year so they can't hire them?

Mike Vrabel won the night for best NFL Draft home setup.

Mike Vrabel clearly won the night in his room. He had a guy that looked like a mix between the Waterboy Adam Sandler and Joe Dirt. The other was taking a shit. I believe he's sitting on a Barstool intentionally looking like he's making sure in my professional opinion.

The gap between Tua Tagovailoa and Justin Herbert is massive.

The smoke of Justin Herbert jumping Tua [Tagovailoa] was making me so mad because Tua is so much better than Justin Herbert. No offense, Justin Herbert. He might end up being good but Tua is control good and the gap between Joe Burrow and Tua is miniscule. The gap between Tua and Justin Herbert is massive.

The Cowboys will have an elite offense but finish 8-8 and miss the playoffs.

I feel like [CeeDee Lamb] is the best wide receiver in the draft and now we can perform, now we can have even more of the 'Cowboys are incredible but they're going to finish 8-8.' And they're going to score a million points and it's going to be like statistically the greatest offense in the world, but they somehow only scored 14 points when they played the Redskins and they're going to miss the playoffs.

Aaron Rodgers will demand a trade following the Packers drafting Jordan Love.

As an owner of the Packers, I feel like Aaron Rodgers might demand a trade. I feel like he's the kind of guy that is going to want to get out of town as soon as possible because this is going to be disrespect to him. Either that or he'll tell Danica like give him one of those crystals you got from Chernobyl.

Mike McCarthy always looks like he's having an allergic reaction to shellfish.

Mike McCarthy always looks like he's having a reaction to shellfish. Yeah, it's like swelling up a little bit. Yes, a little like but got stung by maybe like three or four bees.

Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski will not retire as Buccaneers

Do you think Tom Brady and Gronk will retire as Buccaneers when they go into Canton? No, I think it might if they win a Super Bowl, but there's definitely like a one side of me and it makes sense like Gronk was retired... There's another part of me where it's like, how is Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski playing [NFL] and not on the Patriots?

Bill Belichick is cold-blooded and will always choose assets over personal beef

Belichick is the most likely [to make the Gronk trade]. He's like, oh I get a free asset. Most other coaches would be like no. I'm going to let my personal beef standing between me and making the right choice. Belichick is so cold blooded. He'll just be like, yes, I will get something for nothing.

Tua Tagovailoa's draft slide is legitimate due to injury uncertainty

I kind of buy it [the Tua slide] because of the way the draft is this year. You can't bring him into your building. You can't check him out... he went through the nine-minute 22 second [workout] thing and I think that convinced a lot of people's fears, but the really weird part about this guy is it's Miami. Miami refused to clear Drew Brees because they didn't think his shoulder was strong enough.

Henry Ruggs is more than just a straight-line speed receiver

I love Henry Ruggs. He has 98 catches at Alabama, 24 went for touchdowns... but he's not just a one-trick pony like normally straight-line speed guys like John Ross... he runs the routes. He only had one drop.

Leaked Wonderlic scores are a smokescreen designed to hurt Tua Tagovailoa's draft stock

They were also incorrect leaked Wonderlic scores all that which tells me it's smokescreen season for someone out there. Like someone wants the rest of the NFL to believe that Tua is dumb because they gave Tua a 13 in the first Wonderlic score. It's not true at all. That's not what he got.

Odell Beckham Jr. is not getting traded

Odell was not getting traded the bike... I don't want to tell anybody that without being a hundred percent right? Because that's the worst thing you could ever do to anybody.

Rob Gronkowski is not close to being in game shape or returning to the NFL

I don't think he act look when we were training at Unbreakable... he's waste are than he ever has been right? So we're even talking about what it would take for him to come back and he was never like hi. I need a new approach new program... he's not even close to how it was betrayed.

The Patriots will not trade Rob Gronkowski to the Buccaneers just to help Tom Brady

Also I don't see him going the bucks... the Patriots cologne is right? So why were they just be like, oh, yeah sure. They would trade them because they could get something for him no what I don't see that... I couldn't do that.

The Bills traded the 22nd pick for Stefon Diggs because he is a proven veteran

We traded it for Diggs who we just we thought at the end of the day that what we could get at 22 wasn't going to be the player that Diggs is... Especially in light of what's going on around our country. We don't even know what kind of offseason we're going to have. So to be able to get a veteran versus School in a rookie up. We just thought made the most sense this year.

I don't see the Bills moving back into the first round of the 2020 draft

I'll be excited when it's over because at that point I can start figuring out who's on the board and And who we can try and skiing together, but I don't see us going in the first round.

Cam Newton deserves another chance and will have a chip on his shoulder

Cam's a guy route for I think he deserves another chance... I know how he's wired if he feels doubted and I think he's in a strong spot, you know, when he's doubted he's going to try and prove people wrong.

The Patriots will still be good because Bill Belichick is the greatest coach ever

At the end of the day the Patriots Bill Belichick, you know, he is probably the greatest coach of all time. I don't think they're going anywhere.

Paying a running back is never worth it

Tell me when paying running back is worth it. It's never worth it. It sounds like a good idea at the time. And if you're a new head coach, this is such a new head coach move... it's like ordering shots of Jagermeister. Well, sounds good. And then later on it's like having sex raw dog. It's good in the moment. Nine months later you're like, 'fuck, I definitely should have done that.'

Aaron Rodgers is the fourth greatest quarterback of all time

My number four [is] Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback that I've ever seen in terms of like the throws he can make, everything that they can do. In his prime, like those four, five, six years, the Packers were never out of a game.

Dan Marino was Patrick Mahomes before Patrick Mahomes

Dan Marino had five years where he led the league in passing... he was like Patrick Mahomes before Patrick Mahomes. When you talking about his second year in the league when he had 48 touchdowns in 1984... which is fucking ridiculous.

Ben Roethlisberger is a top 6 quarterback of all time

Number six: Big Ben Roethlisberger. He has twice as many Super Bowls as Aaron Rodgers.

The 49ers and Bears saved lives by not winning the Super Bowl or drafting Mahomes

My cool throne is the Niners because they saved lives by not winning the Super Bowl... the Bears saved all the lives by not drafting Mahomes because it was funny. Chicago would never celebrate anything ever. Tear down the Jordan statue.

I am officially back on the Tua Tagovailoa train now that the lefty witchcraft is gone

Watching [Tua Tagovailoa] throw with an NFL ball looks good. Like the witchcraft is gone or whatever... I think it goes from looking like it's spinning clockwise to looking like it's spinning counterclockwise now that it has the stripes off. So I'm fully on board the Tua train.

Bill Belichick won't care about Gronk leaving; he will just view it as getting a draft pick for nothing

There's not a single person better equipped to have like two of his star players leave him willingly than Bill Belichick... He'll probably get a great draft pick for and just keep moving on like not even think about... he would absolutely get something for nothing because Rob's not coming back to play.

Bill O'Brien and Mike Zimmer will definitely be the ones to mess up the virtual draft technology

Bill O'Brien the head coach and Bill O'Brien the GM would be at the top of my list for that... I don't see them either one of them as being technology guys... Mike Zimmer definitely is going to be up there.

I'm becoming a Bill O'Brien fan because his stupidity has reached a level that is hilarious

I'm almost becoming a Bill O'Brien fan because there is that level where like you stupidity becomes so stupid that it's absolutely hilarious and you root for it because now he's an underdog. Well, if a really really stupid guys going up against a bunch of averagely smart guys... it seems like he's more in demand than DeAndre Hopkins even is.

There will be sports played in some format this summer

I think that there it sounds more and more like there will be Sports at some point this summer. We don't know what that formats going to look like. We don't know if there will be fans.

Calvin Johnson is a better receiver at his peak than Terrell Owens and Marvin Harrison

I think [Calvin Johnson] is a better receiver at his Peak then T.O. and Marvin are. If you look at it has a higher yards per reception than everyone else that I just listed. He also has the the greatest receiving season in 122 receptions 1964 yards, and he was playing on the Lions.

Randy Moss is the best receiver in the history of the NFL

Randy Moss is the is the best receiver in the history of the NFL, Correct? I don't care what he did to [the] caterer in the barbecue... he was also the greatest wide receiver all time.

The virtual NFL Draft is a recipe for disaster and will be hacked

The idea of the NFL going 'Hey, we're going to do virtual draft' which by the way, that's it. That's the recipe for disaster. Oh, yeah people people are a thousand percent going to hack it and you're going to be like Andy Reid's going to be on an iPad trying to figure out what's going on in someone's going to send him a porn link or something.

The Redskins should take Tua Tagovailoa over Chase Young if they want a franchise QB

I'm started talked myself into Tua because I think that he has a better chance of being a great great quarterback than Dwayne [Haskins] does... If you need a quarterback, which you do, I think you kind of have to bite the bullet and take Tua.

The Kansas City Chiefs are a dark horse destination for Tom Brady to mentor Patrick Mahomes

I think the Chiefs have the upper hand right now... there's rumors that they're not happy with Mahomes and his leadership. They want Tom there for a year have him grow... They pay Tom and just wait for a year for an extension with Patty give him a one-year deal.

Brian Flores is an unbelievable coach and the Dolphins won't be as bad as they look

Brian Flores really good he was a quality control special teams dude when I was there in New England dude Rose the Rings unbelievable Coach and he's I mean I thought he did one of the best coaching job The NFL last year... Hopefully no Dolphins get offended like the trashiest football team... But [Flores] I thought did one of the best coaching jobs.