Takes

Rupert Murdoch is 'going to die soon' after retiring

He's [Rupert Murdoch] going to die soon. He's like Choppa, you take him out of his job, he going to die... Rupert Murdoch, he's gonna fall down some stairs and die. I'm gonna call my shot right now. He's dead.

Lionel Messi will choke in the 2022 World Cup

My sit is Lionel Messi. This is the time of the year... he's due for a choke in the fucking World Cup. He's not my goat. He's gonna put up a big fat goose egg in there going down.

The 2022 World Cup will not be finished in Qatar

I don't think the World Cup's gonna finish. I think it's gonna get canceled for some reason... I don't think it's gonna be finished in Qatar... it sounds like the literal Fire Fest. I'm getting Fire Fest vibes.

Austin Ekeler will score three touchdowns against the 49ers

I'm going to again say that Austin Ekeler is going triple dick. This shit out of him. The Niners are gonna be airtight triple dick. Let's go.

Justin Fields will have a magical performance against the Packers at Lambeau

Wouldn't it be nice. If a little passing on the torch, Justin Fields went up to Lambeau his first trip to Lambeau, beat the Packers... I definitely deep down, I won't let myself say it in a serious tone because I don't want to be mocked afterwards, but deep down I'm thinking like this could be magical.

Jimmy Butler is a top-one player in the NBA

Jimmy Butler is a king, top one player in the NBA. He got fined due to attempting to escalate the situation and also for not snitching.

Kirk Cousins is statistically the best quarterback of all time.

Statistically, the best quarterback of all time.

Julio Jones will score three touchdowns against the Browns

Julio Jones. The floodgates are open. He scored a touchdown last week. He's going to score three this week. Three touchdowns against the Cleveland Browns. Start him, start him, start him.

Bad things happen when Notre Dame wears green uniforms

When Notre Dame wears their green uniforms, bad things happen. 2007, they lost 38-0 to USC. 2006, you might remember, it was something a little called the Bush Push... 2002, they lost to Boston College as 10-point favorites... When they wear the green uniforms, bad things happen.

Jay Cutler will return to the NFL to play for the 49ers

I know some people who know some people who know some people... heard Jay Cutler is going to be back for the San Francisco 49ers... I think Jay Cutler is going to be great in the San Francisco 49ers.

I will knock out Tex in the second round

Second round knockout. Woo! Boy. Actually, I'm 100% on board with that... I'm going to knock his ass out. Double sit-em. And my sleeper is the left-handed uppercut. Watch out for that in the second round when I fucking knock Tex's ass out.

Bitcoin is fake and people should buy land instead

My stardom is land. Bitcoin, currency, it's all fake. You can't see it. Buy something you can see with your own two eyeballs. Buy a plot. Buy an acre. Squat on it.

Kareem Hunt is a fantasy football sleeper

He's a rookie, but I'm finally going to pick him up on my waiver wire. I'm talking about Kareem Hunt. He's my sleeper of the week.

Fantasy owners should be able to suspend their own players from real-life games

As a fantasy football owner, if I owned Odell Beckham, I think that it should be within my right to actually suspend him. From real games. If a high enough percentage of Odell Beckham Jr.'s fantasy football owners are mad at him for doing something, then let's say above 65%.