Takes

Micah Parsons didn't say anything wrong about Mike McCarthy

Am I wrong to think that Micah Parsons didn't say anything wrong? I have no problem with it. It was honest. An NFL player has a limited time to be on an NFL roster. And he's like, yeah, the guys next to me who might be on their last year, those are the guys I feel for. You want your athletes and coaches to give honest answers. And when they give honest answers, we should be like, that was an honest answer. Not holy shit, how could he say that?

If SEC message boards had been in charge of NORAD on 9/11, they would have shut it down — they're all over flight tracking

If the SEC message boards had been in charge of NORAD on 9/11, we would've shut that shit down. They are all over the private jets.

Mike Vrabel is the winner of the coaching carousel — he's going to get whatever he wants

Mike Vrabel, by the way, he's the winner of this whole thing because he's gonna get whatever he wants. Whatever he wants.

The Commanders being called frauds is actually an honor — they haven't been good enough in decades for anyone to think that highly of them

It's an honor to be called a fraud. As long as I've lived, I have yearned for somebody to think highly enough of my football team to the point where they can hate my football team. Nobody thinks that a four and 13 team is a fraud. Bernie Madoff lived a long time as a fraud and he had fucking islands that he vacationed on.

Kurt Cignetti is Coach of the Year for sure after Indiana goes 10-0

Kurt Cignetti is Coach of the Year for sure. Indiana. I think it's the first time, I think it's the first 10 win season for Indiana ever in football.

If Travis Hunter isn't playing on Championship Saturday while other Heisman candidates are, the Heisman race could be in trouble

Colorado has to win out. They have to win out and get to the Big 12 championship because I think if you have a championship Saturday and Dylan Gabriel and Ashton Jeanty and Cam Ward are all playing and Travis Hunter isn't, I think we might be fucked.

Klay Thompson is going to go nuts in his first game back at Golden State — taking every Klay over

I'm just gonna take every single Klay Thompson over. First time back in Golden State. He's gonna go nuts.

Anthony Edwards moves unlike any athlete he's ever seen — at his size, the way he covers ground is special

I've never seen an athlete like that be able to move the way he does. Cover ground, get downhill, cut, just maneuvering. He's not a little guy. He is a big dude. For him to move at his size the way he does, it's special. And he covers a lot of ground.

Fans don't understand how hard it is to win in the NBA — every single night is a battle

I don't think they understand how hard it is to win. It is not an easy place. Every night it is — I don't care who you're playing, let alone win a championship. To go out every night and win games and play at a high level, it's not easy.

The Jets' season is over

The Jet season is... It's over. Yeah, we're good. It's over. We didn't even show up. Went out. Very, very sad.

The Giants will win the international game in Germany against the Panthers

I actually think the Giants are gonna win. Do you know the Giants are leading the league in Sacks? 35. Their defensive line is very good... I like the Giants in this game just because I'm gonna bet it because it's gonna be on.

The NFL is entirely a quarterback-driven league

I was asked in a press conference a couple years ago... what's the big difference between you guys and the other three teams in your division? My answer was quarterback... I asked the same question the other day to a group of people. What's the difference between Washington right now and Washington I had? Well, they got quarterback. It's a quarterback driven league, folks.

Saquon Barkley is on the Christian McCaffrey level

I think it's fair to say that he's on the McCaffrey level of like, he's a running back that can actually make a difference in your offense.

The Dolphins are the best two-win team in the NFL

I think the Dolphins are by far the best two win team in the NFL.

The Chargers have an identity and Jim Harbaugh is the reason

What Harbaugh does when you get a guy like Jim Harbaugh, he gives your team an identity. The Chargers have an identity. They play tough, hard football. And when you have an identity, you can win games.

The Dodgers won the World Series because they are a fundamentally better team than the Yankees

The Dodgers did it by just being the better team and being the fundamentally better team. Because like, if you look at it... the Dodgers did, don't make mistakes like the Yankees made mistakes. And that showed a hundred percent in game five when the Yankees had a complete and utter meltdown.

The Ravens will beat the Broncos in a focused effort following their loss to the Browns

I think the Ravens are gonna be very focused. Broncos riding high and you see that nine point spread and you're like, oof, that's easy. It's a lot of points. Broncos are, are five and three. How are they nine point underdogs. I agree with you. Like I said, if the Ravens had won last week, I would probably be leaning heavy to the Broncos.

Deshaun Watson has the worst contract in the history of sports

Deshaun Watson already had the worst contract in football, probably in history... It just further proves how horrifically awful the Deshaun Watson contract was.

The Buffalo Bills have already won the AFC East

The Bills are just a good team. They have as many wins as the rest of the AFC East combined... Congratulations. The Buffalo Bills for they've won the AFC East. I think that's pretty much wrapped up.

Lane Johnson, Reggie White, Brian Dawkins, and Jason Kelce are the Mount Rushmore of Eagles players

If I had to pick, I would say Reggie White, Brian Dawkins, Lane Johnson, Jason Kelce. [They] are just legends.

The Denver Nuggets will win the NBA title this season

Nuggets [will win the title].

Georgia is the best team in the SEC

I think we all probably saw the best team in the SEC on Saturday night in, in it's Georgia. It's a healthy Georgia... they got pretty much everybody back against Texas And it showed. And that's, that's what they are. So to me Georgia's probably, you know, the best team in the league.

Victor Wembanyama will be the future of the league and a multiple-time MVP

Wemby is the future of the league. I think he'll be MVP multiple times... Jamal [Crawford] was telling me, he's like, we've mastered the Melo footwork, we've mastered the Dirk footwork... If he stays healthy, I think he'll be one of the greatest players that we've ever seen.

Tank Bigsby has one of the coolest names in the NFL.

Tank Bigsby deserves more credit for being one of the coolest names in the NFL... His real name is Cartus. Cartus is pretty solid... Cartus Bigsby. He is Cardi B.

Jaden Daniels wearing a team jumpsuit on the sidelines counts as being in 'street clothes.'

I've always said that street clothes is, if you're wearing clothes that you would wear on the, like to the game... I'm defending my take that I know is wrong because there's something of deep, deep down that I want it to be true.

I officially apologize for hating on the Buccaneers

I've retracted my take. I've done some soul searching about the Bucks. I apologize for saying the Bucks aren't very good. It is a hundred percent Chaps bias. I sat with Chaps for an entire game watching him and it just—it sits with you and it really eats away at you.

Determination and hard work make a champion, not just talent

I don't think I'm the most talented guy. In fact, I think talent is very important, but I think talent doesn't make you a champion. Talent doesn't put you in the top of the game. Like, there's only one thing: is your dedication, your determination, and your hard work. Because the most talented people, for some reason, they are not always in top of the game.

A head coach cannot have a beard as long as Jeff Ulbrich's

I don't think you could have a beard that long as a head coach. I'm just saying in terms of if you're looking at a head coach, like if you're mocking up a head coach, when are you drawing in a massive beard? The beard just doesn't give head coach vibes.

I give Drake Maye a solid B-minus for his first career start.

I'm gonna give Drake Maye a solid B-minus. ... [A] bad interception. ... He did get pressured a lot. He did, you know, get thrown into the fire. But he threw a couple really nice deep balls. A couple mistakes. But it was, it was exciting.

Brock Purdy is just flat out good

Brock Purdy's just good. He has wheels. He is moving around. He's throwing guys open. Yeah, he's good.

The game against the Jaguars is a must-win for the Bears

This is a must win for the Bears. You got, this is the meat of your schedule, right? This is the, this is the, you got make some hay time. I'll be a very sad boy if the Bears lose this game.

Memorial Day is the best weekend of the year

Memorial Day weekend's the best is the best weekend of the year. Hank knows start of the summer.

October is the clear 1.1 pick for best sports month

I'll take October first... October's one one... October's so good. October has, I've become everything. I've become more of an October boy.

Wearing all-black uniforms at night in Baltimore provides an extra confidence boost

There was something about it, man, when you showed up, when you had the black jersey in your locker and it was a big game. You're like, it gave you that little extra like, nudge of confidence... we're definitely winning.

Tarik Skubal will win the Cy Young

Tarik Skubal, who's a Cy Young, shout out... he's gonna win it. I bet it instantly... he's gonna win the Cy Young. He was an absolute beast.

The Seattle Seahawks are actually a good team despite their loss to the Lions

I think the Seahawks are not bad. I think on the contrary. I think the Seahawks are good. They had the most first downs in NFL history in a loss last night.

The Baltimore Ravens can win the Super Bowl this year

I believe in the Ravens potentially winning a Super Bowl this year. I actually think they absolutely could.

Texas and Alabama will play in the College Football National Championship

College Football national championship game. I'm going to go Texas versus Alabama.

The Philadelphia Phillies will defeat the New York Yankees in the World Series

World Series? I think the Philadelphia Phillies are the best team... Philly's over Yankees.

Bears punter Tory Taylor is a fucking weapon

And we haven't even gotten to the real MVP of this game. Tory Taylor, who is a fucking weapon... he won this game for the Bears in the end... he is an absolute weapon.

I predict the Bengals will eventually be back

I don't know if they're back yet, but I predict that they will be back... September's a bad month and then they get hot. And I think that's what's gonna happen again.

Patrick Surtain II is one of the best, if not the best cornerback in the league

Patrick Surtain, who we did put respect on last week, is like one of the best cornerbacks, if not the best cornerback in the league.

The Chiefs will win every game but it will always be ugly

It's also pretty clear that these Chiefs are just gonna win every game, but just it's gonna be ugly.

Al Michaels is at his best when he is visibly annoyed by the quality of football

When Al Michaels is at his best now is when he's annoyed with the quality of football. And he was so annoyed. He gets into surly old man mode very early on in the first half. He was just like, well this is awful. This is terrible, Kirk, get me outta here.

The Eagles are winning because the line making no sense means Vegas knows something

Honestly, it makes no sense that they're two point favorites in this game. I like the Eagles. I think we talked our way through it. I like the Eagles specifically because Vegas knows something. It makes no sense. The only sense I can think of is the way the Bucs have won... I think we take the Eagles as a team.

The start of the 2024 season proves that coaching matters more than anything else in the NFL

The big picture for me before we get into all the games is Sam Darnold's three and oh, Geno Smith's three and oh... this start of the 2024 season has just been a red blinking light of coaching matters a lot.

Lamar Jackson is 21-1 in his career against the NFC

Lamar Jackson now 21 and one against the NFC. He kills them. He kills the NFC.

You should never have a quarterback wearing number 19

Skylar Thompson wearing number 19 is terrible. That's a bad quarterback name number. It's Johnny Unitas and nothing else. You can't, yeah. Number 19... it's a just warning sign that this is a very backup quarterback.

A football team's true identity is revealed by the 'second quarter' of the season (Weeks 5-8)

I think by the second quarter you should know like, this is the first quarter, first four days... I think by the second quarter, man, you should know the type of team you got. You should know if you a running team, if you're a play action team, or if you're on defense and you, you, you are a defense that stopped the run.

Early morning workout routines are never actually fun, no matter how much you do them

How do people do it? How do you get up... Everyone, everyone, everyone who talks about getting up early, they're like, you just gotta get through the first couple of days. No. And it becomes routine. No, there's no way that, that they're wrong... there's still no way that it's fun.