Takes

Fanatics MLB jerseys are complete pieces of shit

It's starting to bother me now that I'm watching a little more baseball. Just like not being able to read the pitcher's jersey. And it seems like every single night there's a new example of the jerseys just being pieces of shit.

The Shohei Ohtani investigation will take a long time to resolve

I think it's gonna be a long time... This is such a tiny little speck of a much larger investigation that's going on right now into this alleged illegal gambling ring in Southern California... Major League baseball doesn't wanna step on the toes of federal investigators.

October baseball is a complete crapshoot

October baseball is a complete crapshoot... What that suggests to teams is October baseball is a complete crapshoot... You don't have to be great, right? You just have to be competitive and get to October and then once October comes, anything really can happen.

DJ Burns is the man and NC State is America's team for beating Duke

DJ Burns is the fucking man. Yes. I love him. Thank everyone in America should thank DJ Burns for beating Duke. Oh. For just being awesome.

The Yankees have already won the World Series after their opening sweep of Houston

I'd just like to be the first to congratulate Jake's New York Yankees on winning the World Series. Yeah. Four game sweep in Houston. Congrats. Jake. Juan Soto got his pinstripes. New era.

The Rangers will beat the Dodgers in the World Series

I'll go Rangers over Dodgers.

UConn is the best overall team in the NCAA tournament right now

UConn right now, from what I've seen, is the best overall team. And it'll be a hell of a battle if it's them and Purdue and then you, you take a Houston, I mean they can beat you different ways.

Notre Dame will go 11-1 this season and then get smoked in the playoffs

But you see the schedule, they're probably [going] 11 and one. And then get fucking smoked in the playoffs against somebody.

Masters TV coverage is a joke because fans can't watch it all live

Best golf tournament of the year. And we cannot watch all of it live in 2024. It's a joke. Put it all on TV or online. I don't care. But I wanna watch it Thursday morning.

UConn will definitely win the National Championship.

I wanna be very clear. Yukon is going to win the National Championship.

Michigan basketball will return to prominence quickly under Dusty May.

Recurring guest Dusty May is going from FAU to Ann Arbor... I think they're gonna be back quickly.

The winner of Oakland vs. NC State will be the story of the tournament heading into the Sweet 16

What the winner of that game [Oakland vs. NC State] is going to be the talk of the week leading up to Sweet 16 because it'll be a great story either way.

Thursday and Friday of the NCAA Tournament are the best two sports days of the year

Tuesday, March 20th, and we are just 24 hours away from the best two days of the year... Thursday, Friday of, of the NCAA Tournament, because it's just all you think about the entire time.

Aaron Donald had as close to a perfect career as you could possibly have

Aaron Donald played 10 years in the NFL. He was a pro bowler all 10 years. He won Rookie of the Year. He won three time defensive player of the year and he was an eight time first team all pro selection... Aaron Donalds as close to a perfect career as you could possibly have minus the Super Bowl loss.

North Carolina will win the 2024 National Championship

North Carolina. So shout out to the Howard Wagner.

UConn will repeat as National Champions

I've got Yukon out of the region of Gladiators... I like Yukon over Purdue, Clingan against Edey, a Battle of the Titans in the title game, and Yukon led by Dan Hurley... becoming the first back-to-back national champion since Florida in 2006 and 2007.

The over on 146.5 in the UConn vs. St. John's game looks nice

Yukon St. John's over at that. That looks nice. 1 46 and a half.

The Bears are a year away from being all in

No, I think they're a year away from being all in. Okay. I think next year. I think the way that that Ryan Polls is structuring this roster. Like he didn't go nuts in free agency.

Disney adults are weird and scary

I live in California. I live in Southern California. When I see all these people that have like yearly passes and I'm like, you guys have kids? And they're like, no. And I'm like, okay. I don't think we can talk anymore... It scares me.

Kirk Cousins is the GOAT of maximizing NFL contracts and free agency earnings

Incredible. I mean like whatever you wanna say about Kirk Cousins a quarterback. He has played every single thing right when it comes to free agency and the teams he picked. He's probably gonna eclipse 400 million over the course of his career. It's crazy.

I am not scared of Chicago winters after my first year living there

I just, I don't know. It, it's been incredible. There's been four bad days and two of them had playoff football on. I lived in Massachusetts, New Hampshire. Those are way worse. I'm not scared of the winter here. That's my point.

UConn is the clear front runner for the National Championship

In my eyes [Connecticut] is the best team in the country. They're the front runner for the national championship and they should be. The three losses are at Kansas, to Seton Hall [when Clingan got hurt], and then Creighton had another worldly shooting performance.

College basketball is better when Duke is the villain

College basketball is better when Duke is the villains. So I'm happy for the tournament. I'm excited. Shut everyone up.

Anthony Joshua knocking out Francis Ngannou was great for boxing

Anthony Joshua knocked the fuck out of Francis Ngannou and that feels good for boxing... I am a boxing purist in the fact that I want boxers to always beat people who show up... anyone who shows up into a boxing ring with no boxing training, I want them to lose every time.

Reed Sheppard is a top 8 NBA pick and reminds me of Rex Chapman

He's tremendous. He's a great shooter, great passer... He's got a big decision to make. He's probably a top eight pick in the draft. He's the closest thing to the Pat Riley days... the closest thing to a Rex Chapman for Kentucky.

Matthew Slater is the most 'Patriot' Patriot of all time

Matthew Slater... I feel like I'd never seen an interview from him. It was like this guy rocks. He probably knows everything. He was like the unassuming special teams guy... he's the most like Patriot Patriot of all time probably.

Tennessee and Houston are my two picks to win the NCAA Tournament

I'm heavily leveraged in the Volunteers this year. I think Tennessee and Houston are my two picks.

LeBron James provided the blueprint for NBA sustainability and professionalism

Every single day of every minute of the day, I was with LeBron James. He showed me how to do everything the right way... Be different. That foundation he gave me with the Miami Heat is probably why I'm sustainable now.

Caleb Williams is the correct pick at number one for any NFL team

Caleb Williams is the right pick to make at number one right now. Right? If the chiefs had had number two in that 2017 draft, they would've probably taken Patrick Mahomes. I don't know if there's another team that if they had number one would taken anyone but Caleb Williams.

Kirk Cousins is the first major domino of the NFL quarterback carousel

If we're doing dominoes, if we're talking about quarterback dominoes? Yeah. Because there's like three big domino pieces. What is the first domino? Kirk Cousins, who reportedly is thinking about moving to Atlanta.

The Bears will move on Justin Fields very soon

I think Chicago's gonna get moving on this for sure with Fields. Yeah. I've been stalking their people all week... I'm expecting definitely some action there.

NFL teams will invest much more in backup quarterbacks this season

I think if there's a, any position that we'll probably see better business would be backup quarterbacks. Especially after last year, we saw so many teams struggle by not investing in it. That was the story of the year. Right? Invest in a backup quarterback.

The Denver Nuggets will win the NBA Championship back-to-back

I don't think I can make a future bet on this because the price isn't great, but I just think the nugs are gonna win again. I think it's back to back. Nugs.

Denver will move on from Russell Wilson

I think they move on from Russ. I mean, Sean Payton, just read between the lines. Right? I don't even have to read between the lines. I think it's just saying it. Sean Payton's lines are like, he holds up three fingers in a straight line and then he takes the first two down. Between those lines, he's gone.

Peter King will write Andy Reid's biography in retirement

I don't know how long Peter's gonna be able to hang the pen up for... Peter King might just become the next like biographer of football coaches. He's probably gonna write Andy Reid's biography.

Grown men getting ice cream by themselves is actually great

Do you know grown men who go get ice cream by themselves? I don't. It's very strange. [Big Cat responding to Clay Travis quote] Literally all the time I get ice cream. I'm gonna do that as a protest tonight. I'm gonna get ice cream by myself... Ice cream by yourself is actually great.

UMass moving to the MAC is great for 'MACtion' and weeknight football

My cool Throne is Mion, we're getting more Mion because UMass is getting added, which means more games back... more weeknight football eventually.

The Florida Panthers are the favorites to win the Eastern Conference

Florida being the wagon that they are, they're probably the, probably the, the number one favorite in the east.

The Boston Celtics are heavy favorites to win the 2024 NBA championship

I think yeah, they're my favorites... I don't wanna put bad juju on 'em, but Yeah, they're heavy favorites in my mind.

Matt Eberflus's new beard makes him look like a winning football coach

Matt Eberflus debuted a new beard. He looks totally different. That's good. He looks like a winning football coach now. Tell me that's not a fucking football coach. Now he's gonna win some games.

My 2024 Final Four is Purdue, Houston, Arizona, and Tennessee

I think Purdue is gonna make the final four. I have to trust Houston. Gimme Arizona... and then I gotta ride with Tennessee. Tennessee, I'll take out Houston and put in Butler. No, I'll take Tennessee.

Notre Dame will never get higher than a 5-seed in the 12-team CFP

If Notre Dame is the best team in the country, they get the number five seed. [Because] the four highest ranked conference champions will be seeds one through four.

The Dunk Contest is unfixable because we have already seen every possible dunk

There's really no way to fix the Dunk Contest. I think they've jumped over the biggest human they can find... maybe it's just that we've seen every cool Dunk and there's only so many cool dunks that you can do.

The rule that disqualified Jordan Spieth for an incorrect scorecard is the dumbest rule ever

That Jordan Spieth rule was the, it's the dumbest rule ever because it's not even his, it's his partner filling out the scorecard and he signs it. That's stupid.

Victor Wembanyama is already a massive success and will meet every expectation

He's incredible. Everything about him this year individually for him is a massive success... His personality just seems so genuine in that he's been mentally built to take on the responsibility that he's gonna have to take on for a franchise at a young age.

Amphibians have ears that connect directly to their brains

One thing I know about lizards and amphibians, they've got ears that connect directly to their brain. Could I sing a note so high that the vibration of it kills everyone's tadpole?

Patrick Mahomes will soon reach AI-like super computer status

He'll soon reach super computer status where he'll know what to do before each play starts. He's just becoming AI. We've got AI Mahomes.

The playoff overtime rules should be the regular season overtime rules

They need to make that the regular season overtime rule. I, I really don't understand. And the excitement factor and the strategy and the risk involved is it's so different.

The Taco Bell Cheez-It Crunchwrap will be elite

Let me just say that The Cheez-It Crunchwrap looks elite. Yes. It looks, I without tasting it, I can tell you that's probably on my Mount Rushmore of Taco Bell Foods.

Ludacris should have a 'Lud Bowl' halftime show performing all his features

I think that they should do a Lud Bowl halftime show where it's Ludacris. It goes out and he performs like all of his features with all the other artists that have had him on their songs.