Takes

Kliff Kingsbury is an airhead and a bimbo, not a genius

I don't think the Kliff Kingsbury is an offensive genius. No, I think he's a dummy. I think he's a fucking airhead. He's a bimbo. He's a member... he's all looks.

The Patriots will beat the Ravens on Sunday Night Football

Patriots defense is atrocious. How do you feel about this game? Survive and advance... I think it's going to be close with the Patriots squeaking out a win... Cam Newton getting revenge for it happening against the Bills.

Scott Hanson is a superior RedZone host to Andrew Siciliano

Who do I have to tell go Siciliano? Oh my gosh... I'm taking PFT's gun and shooting Siciliano... why is that? [Scott] Hanson is far superior. He's an animal. He is outstanding what he does.

Michigan football is no longer relevant

It's not even fun anymore because the Michigan smarm and like we matter and Michigan's important—you don't matter... Michigan has not performed in that way at all that we had hoped with Harbaugh, but the relevance is absolutely seller.

The Patriots will beat the Ravens next week

I actually believe it. If Stephon Gilmore comes back... I think they're gonna beat the Ravens and then everyone's going to flip.

John Rahm's viral skipping shot at the Masters might be doctored

John Rahm hit a shot that walked on water at Augusta... I think that the Masters needs some more Buzz around it because it's not being held at the traditional time. I think that maybe there might be some monkey business afoot here somebody who's better at the internet than me look at the footage and tell me if you think that it's doctored at all.

Bryson DeChambeau's 48-inch driver is cheating

I've never even tried 48 inch driver, but I would be lying if I said Bryson's not making me like kind of considering... sounds like it's cheating. I think it's cheating. [Big Cat: We decided it is cheating.] I'm a third party so that's not you as the fans can decide.

I wouldn't give Russell Wilson an MVP vote right now because Patrick Mahomes is better

Russell Wilson is not the MVP. Patrick Mahomes is starting to play incredible football. He's like so Patrick Mahomes is 25 touchdowns one interception... if I had to do the MVP voting right this second, I wouldn't give Russell Wilson an MVP vote.

The Seahawks are frauds because their defense cannot be trusted

The Seahawks who I think they're frauds. I think they are... they definitely are the biggest frauds. Your defense just can't can't be trusted whatsoever and I again I still think there are... they're not going to figure it out.

Matt Nagy has lost the locker room

I'm so sick of Matt Nagy. I'm so sick of the visor. I'm so sick of his fucking bald ass head... I think Matt Nagy has lost locker room. No you have, no, I think he has because when you whenever you have a situation where it's like one side of the ball is so much better than the other the defense is just like sitting in the locker room knowing... where these clowns doing?

Kliff Kingsbury coached chickenshit football by kicking a late field goal against Miami

Coach of the Year Kliff Kingsbury. What the fuck are you doing? What is Kliff Kingsbury doing that was chickenshit football... He kicks the field goal to try to tie the game and give the ball back to Tua who then could easily go back down the field and win the game... I don't know why the fuck he did that that was chickenshit football.

Aaron Rodgers has a baby face and is going through a mental breakdown similar to Britney Spears shaving her head

Rogers he he also shaved. I don't know if you noticed that he's like a little baby face out there... it's like when Britney Spears shaved her head when she was having a nervous breakdown some people do that. They just have know what I'm going to cut my bangs... Rogers going through a mental crisis right now.

Ryan Tannehill is a great quarterback, but he still actually stinks

Ryan Tannehill still stinks. I don't have anything beyond my eyes that told me that he still deserves not to be honest my guts right. It's my guts that are telling me that he still stinks. I just I still don't trust him. I've never trusted Ryan Tannehill... he is just been delaying the stinking.

Daniel Jones is JaMarcus Russell 2.0 because of his turnover rate

Daniel Jones and JaMarcus Russell had the same player in terms of turnovers... I will bring you know what I want. I will bring that exact same energy starting this weekend Daniel Jones. I'm going to run with that but is he is JaMarcus Russell 2.0.

The Tennessee Titans are a fraudulent football team

I'm going to use the F-word on the Titans. I think the Titans where a fraudulent football... I think they're fun when they were five and oh I was saying I don't think they're real because Ryan Tannehill, we should always stick with our gut on Ryan Tannehill.

The Patriots vs. Bills game was one of the best games Bill Belichick has ever coached

That's actually here's ready for this one. That's one of the best games Bill Belichick's ever coached you like that was a wonderful game... because their roster sucks so bad and the fact that they were within three points.

The Baltimore Ravens are frauds because Lamar Jackson can't throw consistently against elite teams

As I've thought from day one when I've started the Ravens are frauds and again, it's not that they're bad team. There are very very good team when I say the word fraud I'm doing it because because they have Championship aspirations... until I see it from Lamar Jackson in terms of passing the ball consistently... the NFL like to be in Upper Echelon team, you have to your quarterback has to be able to throw have that type of game.

I would take Derek Carr over Justin Herbert or Drew Lock right now

Between those three quarterbacks... Derek Carr, Herbert and then Drew Lock. I'll take Carr because I know what I'm gonna get. I don't know what those other guys gonna do. I'll take Carr.

The Jim Harbaugh era at Michigan is officially over

The knives are back out for Jim Harbaugh... I just all I'm saying is I think it's over. I really do. 24 and a half Point favorites against Michigan State... and they lose like that... I think this is actually might be close to the end for Harbaugh.

The Browns are a better team without Odell Beckham Jr.

We are right in the middle of the takes of the Browns better without Odell Beckham. I don't even know if it's not any I think that they kind of are... Baker is a better quarterback without Odell Beckham. Yes. Yes. They try to force the ball to O'Dell and now Baker doesn't have to worry about that and he can spread the ball around.

The Rams are winning the Super Bowl

the biggest winning Super Bowl the revs winning the Super Bowl. Yeah, I want on the record. Really. Yeah. Wow, but you don't like golf. I love Jared go. You said you hated to no one of my best friends in this world... Jared has the experience. Aryans he's been there before this time. He's gonna get revenge.

Gardner Minshew intentionally injured his own hand to get a medical redshirt year

Do we think the Gardner Minshew maybe smash his own hand like he told us absolutely so that isn't the played for the Jaguars anymore. Absolutely... he on our show told us the story about how he smashed his own hand with it with the hammer after getting really really drunk so that he could what was it so we could read surely you want. Yeah. I wanted to the medical register. Maybe he's been seeking Redshirt this season possibly

Patrick Mahomes would have been a bust if he were drafted by the Chicago Bears

This is why I've always said when everyone's like well, we could have Patrick Mahomes. Patrick Mahomes would have got hit by a bus if he had been a Chicago Bear. There is just it's never going to be in the cards for the Bears to be able to move the football.

The Rams play 'Mickey Mouse' football with their excessive pre-snap motion

I agree with with your take that they're playing too fast. That's gonna be Mouse football when man on Sean McVeigh gets in his Huddle's and then he has his players like shift around like it's a game of three-card Monte at a carnival just to confuse defense... not some rinky-dink Mickey Mouse Disneyland offense where you try to score more points than the other team like a fucking coward.

Kevin Cash let his computer ruin the World Series by pulling Blake Snell in Game 6

The game was a Kevin Cash versus computer and he let his computer fuck him in the face and the Rays died by sabermetrics and congrats to the Dodgers... Blake Snell was 73 pitches, zero runs into the game and he pulled him after a single... The computer says we've got to go to the bullpen. I'm gonna freak out I'm a nerd I've never realized that the game is played with emotion and humans and not on a spreadsheet.

It is incorrect to claim that shaming the Cowboys for not defending Andy Dalton is 'toxic masculinity'

There was a guy from Pro Football Focus who said that in my humble opinion attacking the Cowboys for not going after [Jon] Bostic who by any means wasn't a threat to Dalton anymore is toxic masculinity at its peak... meanwhile every person that's ever played football has responded and been like this is this is incorrect.

Being an NFL media personality is more mentally exhausting than actually playing in the NFL

I get more tired at this than I did at playing... when the bodies are exhausted, the mind is still racing... But in this [media], when you're exhausted, you're exhausted here in the mind... the mind is shut down. I never was going to shut down after a long game on Sunday.

Michael Thomas is on the trading block and will likely be traded

Michael Thomas, one of the best Twitter names out there... but yes he is—he's a big reason why the offense hasn't looked awesome... I think he's probably on the trading block. Methinks the lady doth protest too much [regarding Sean Payton's denial].

Cam Newton's struggles are a side effect of 'foggy brain' from COVID-19

One of the side effects of Corona is having, you know, foggy brain. He's got the long 'Rona. He's got the long cocoa Big Cat... he's look where he's been throwing weird when he throws, it just doesn't look—it looks strange.

The Patriots will win three of their next four games and make the playoffs

We need to win two out of the next four games and you have the Bills, the Jets, the Ravens, and the Texans. You can do that. Yeah, three out of four of them, we're back in the playoffs. I'm feeling great.

The NFC East will win a playoff game this year

I guarantee I'm here's my stamp. The NFC East I think is going to win a playoff game this year. There's going to be some shitty team that fucks it all up stumbles into the playoffs... and they're going to win by like one score maybe like three points in that early Saturday time slot.

The Chicago Bears can win the NFC North

I am all-in on Graham Mertz and in conjunction with thinking that Wisconsin is going to win the Big Ten West... I made a prediction today the totally won't blow up in my face. And that is that the Chicago Bears can win the NFC North they can.

Every team in the NFC East should try to get Ryan Fitzpatrick

Any one of these... anyone in the NFC East should try to get Ryan Fitzpatrick. The reason is pretty simple. You can maybe win the division at 6-10. Seven and nine, you're a lock. And all you need to do is like hope that the Fitzmagic times up perfectly at the start of the playoffs.

The Colts would be better with Ryan Fitzpatrick than Philip Rivers

I have a take that's going to hurt my own myself, but I think the Colts would be better with Ryan Fitzpatrick. That would be wild wouldn't it? That would be wild now we're now that you said it it kind of makes sense.

Lamar Jackson can't come from behind when trailing

Lamar, he's not really that great playing with a small lead either... we talked about him not being able to come from behind at all. Even if you're up by like two scores. He's just he's limited some time.

There is a zero percent chance the Patriots miss the playoffs

What do you think that the chances are that the Patriots miss the playoffs entirely is here? Zero. Zero percent chance here.

Trevor Lawrence will pull an Eli Manning and refuse to play for the Jets

I feel like Trevor Lawrence is going to pull a Elway in an Eli. Mmm-hmm and say I'm not doing that... It's something wrong with the organization. You can't have it. It's not too many. That's too many consecutive quarterbacks in the in a system that's bad. That's just bad... Ain't No Way in the world he's going to pull it. He like.

Derrick Henry is not a good short-yardage running back because his legs are too long

I agree with at the start of that game when they started feeding Derrick Henry the ball. [Billy] said Derrick Henry actually sneaky not a great short yardage running back. ... Legs are too long. ... Big guys just they can swallow them up.

Kyle Shanahan will look for a new quarterback like Kirk Cousins to replace Jimmy Garoppolo after the season

I think the bigger question here is after the season. What do they do? ... I think that Kyle Shanahan is going to look for somebody else after the season. ... it wouldn't surprise me at all if the Vikings decide, 'You know what, we've had enough with this guy' and Shanahan embraces [Kirk] Cousins.

NFL teams absolutely tank, they just do it by playing worse players

Hell yes, there's tanking in football. It's just subtle. The players on the field aren't trying to lose, but someone high up in the organization makes sure the worst players are on the field. 'We want to evaluate the backup quarterback... and if they play like crap, good.'

Josh Norman should retire immediately after that Derrick Henry stiff arm

Josh Norman should retire like soon after that. Derrick Henry stiff arms are hilarious... he does like The Kill Bill the Five Finger Death Punch on you like Taps who with his fingertips and then your heart stops immediately and you go limp you go flying.

Drew Brees is officially washed

I am sticking with my Drew Brees has washed. What I'm saying is they have a Super Bowl roster and Drew Brees is probably going to be the thing that holds them back when they get in a playoff game against the pass rush... he's no longer at that level.

The 'Doggface' Fleetwood Mac cranberry juice video was a corporate plant

I think that he is Probably a plant. I think that this is mostly done... a combo stunt done by Fleetwood Mac and Gary Graham berry juice—big cranberry—and the fact that he has not been canceled that tells me that tattoo on the Subspace. Probably not real. He's probably an actor.

The US should implement a $1,000 stimulus check every two weeks for a couple of months

The idea of thousand dollar stimulus every two weeks... when people have money to spend we can boost up the economy... That's not a long-term solution... but if you do it every two weeks for a couple months and you also make it you have to spend it or lose it... that puts money into the economy that has a multiplier effect.

Defenders are hesitant to hit Patrick Mahomes hard because he is so well-liked

I have a take that I'm working on. It's not ready yet. But essentially if people want to help me with this trying to find some film I think Defenders are not hitting Mahomes as hard as they possibly can because no one wants to be the guy that hurts Mahomes. It feels like when he starts running there are times in a game where he'll scramble. And he'll like they'll almost all agree to give up the play at the same time.

Tom Brady will make a mental blunder that costs the Buccaneers the game

It's going to come down to whether Brady's been aging, whether we see Brady's age physically and kind of mentally... maybe he gets slower as you age... so to recap Billy, you think the Tom Brady is going to make a mental blunder that's going to cost them the game.

I am being scammed by an Airbnb host for $40,000 in pool damages

I'm being investigated for $40,000 worth of damages by Airbnb... the homeowner has contacted me saying that I caused $40,000 worth of [damage to] the pool... They say that I didn't keep the pool at the correct level and that the motor and the pump broke down... I think she's scamming me... I didn't even cause a penny worth of damage.

I am rooting for the Houston Astros to make everyone angry

I'm a hundred percent rooting for the Astros. It would make so many people angry... so many Yankee fans angry and so many Dodger [fans]... it would make so many people angry that I think we have to root for that.

Justin Herbert won't be a true franchise quarterback until he cleans up his skin

Justin Herbert is he's got a he's got a clean up his skin. Okay. Yeah. That's all Noxzema franchise quarterback. That's all. Once he does that I'll be like, you know what I like this guy. It's just kind of a franchise quarterback then just clean up the face a little bit.

Kliff Kingsbury is a fraud of a coach

Cliff... Definitely fraud. ... He's like the knockoff. Junkyard. Kyle Shanahan. ... Kliff Kingsbury is like to Jordan Belfort. Yeah, he's like comes up some penny stocks.