Takes

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce will get engaged followed by a bad album

My preemptive take of the year is that Taylor Swift and Travis [Kelce] are going to get engaged. And then she's going to put out a terrible album. Because she's happy and she doesn't have any boyfriends to complain about. And then all her fans are going to start to hate her because her music sucks because she's happy with her personal life.

Steve Kerr is a piece of shit for not playing Jason Tatum

Steve Kerr is a piece of shit. That's, that's really what this all boils down to. Jason Tatum did have a better plus minus than Joel Embiid. So there's that.

Passing on Josh Allen was the biggest mistake of my GM days

I loved him [Josh Allen]. Right? But it just, you know, didn't work out... and you're right. That was probably my biggest mistake of my GM days. Well, was not taking Josh.

The New York Yankees need to extend Aaron Boone immediately to show they believe in him

I think that you have to give Aaron Boone an extension and show that you believe in him. And then the rest of the the clubhouse is gonna truly believe in him too. Then you'll be fine.

Jordan Love's training camp hold-in is one of the most selfish things a player has ever done

Jordan Love is the first player to do this. And it's disgusting. This is one of the most selfish things I've ever seen a player do... he's not going to practice with his team until he gets his new contract.

Aaron Rodgers is currently less of a diva than Jordan Love

Is Aaron Rodgers less of a diva than Jordan Love? Aaron Rodgers at Training Camp, Jordan Love is not a training camp.

The Egyptian pyramids are much older than conventional history suggests

I'm wearing the Graham Hancock camp as far as like that the age of those structures is much older than they tell us. I'd like—I mean he talks a lot about the Younger Dryas and going back 10,800 years I believe it is. And to me that seems more in line.

Politics in the US is a sham where nothing ever changes

Politics I've said from the beginning is an absolute sham. Life doesn't actually get better for any of us, whether it's a Republican or a Democrat. And we're still just doing the same fucking two party system and not letting Bobby [Kennedy] get in or anybody else.

I will play at least two more seasons with the Jets to win two Super Bowls

I'm not sure [how many more years]. This one for sure. I'd like to do two good ones and give us a chance to retire a Jet, you know, win two Super Bowls.

Joel Embiid believes the current LeBron James is not the same as the dominant version from years ago

The LeBron now is not the LeBron that was a couple of years ago. So it's a big difference. Everybody would also tell you, and you can see for yourself, the athletic LeBron dominant that he was a couple years ago is not the same that he is now.

I would not lose to Luke Fickell in a street fight

I do not believe if it was a street fight that I would lose to [Luke Fickell]. [Even though he's an elite wrestler], that is not a sanctioned wrestling event... I'm intimidating.

A'ja Wilson is as much better than the second best WNBA player as Patrick Mahomes is compared to other QBs in the playoffs

The gap [between A'ja Wilson and the second best woman] is as long as, as strong as, as big as Patrick Mahomes to the second best quarterback in football during the playoffs. Specifically the playoffs.

Mike Florio and Colin Cowherd look like morons because Caleb Williams officially signed with the Bears

All who said that there was 0% chance that Caleb Williams was going to sign with the Bears. That he was gonna force a trade. That he was gonna demand ownership. Florio said he was gonna play another season at USC. You all look like morons. Caleb Williams is officially signed as a Bear.

ESPN will rank Serena Williams as the #1 athlete of the 21st century

I have a prediction. I think ESPN is going to put Serena [Williams] number one. Just to make people mad.

Taysom Hill is a Hall of Fame football player

Taysom Hill is the best football player I've ever played with... that man is a Hall of Fame football player. He does everything. Throws, runs, catches, fullback, quarterback, tight end, receiver, slots, punts, blocks, punts, personal protector.

Adam Scott will win the 2024 Open Championship

I'm going to Adam Scott. He played well last week... He's 44 years old finishing in the top 10. Hasn't finished in the top 10 in a major since 2019. But I feel like he's one of those guys... I feel like Adam is playing well.

Offsides should be removed from soccer

Offsides should be taken out of soccer. There should be no offsides.

I saw a bright circle UFO in Austin, Texas

Literally like, we got the, the screen on the car's real bright... Emily's in the passenger seat. She's looking at her phone, this like, like circle shape object. Like bright as hell. Literally just goes from right here and goes straight down. She was looking at her phone... it was so bright that she looked up and saw it too and it just like disappeared. Like completely disappeared.

The USMNT will never be great until the players care enough to fight fans in the stands

The United States will never be great at soccer until our players care enough to go into the stands and fight people from other countries. It just means more. That somehow a Malice at the Palace situation... these guys just fucking care about soccer.

Nike is likely behind Jalen Brown and Kyrie Irving being left off Team USA

And I do think there is probably some truth to the Nike thing where Kyrie is also, you know, if Jalen Brown's a snub, Kyrie's a snub... They're both very outspoken against Nike. Coincidence? Probably not. I think not.

I would retire from football if it guaranteed the Bills a Super Bowl win

If that's what it took, I would do it. [Big Cat: You guarantee it?] I would do it. I feel like I would have a part whether I played or not.

The Marshawn Lynch and Gavin Newsom podcast marks the top of the podcast bubble

Marshawn Lynch, Gavin Newsom and Doug whatever, Doug... Having a podcast together is the very sign that the podcast bubble is about to burst.

Pete Alonzo is the biggest loser in sports during the Home Run Derby

Pete Alonzo with the home run Derby is the worst. He is the biggest loser in sports when the Home Run Derby comes around. ... He, dude, he gets laser focused. He meditates backstage. He goes into like a little panic room by himself in between rounds and just focuses and visualize home runs. And the home run derby isn't even that fun anymore.

The Bengals' championship window is open as long as I am the quarterback

[Is the window open?] It's always open. If you don't feel like that, then why are you playing football?

The Sixers must make the NBA Finals or beat the Celtics within the next two years for the Paul George signing to be a success

It's a two year window to at least make we have to at least make a finals. Make a finals play for. NBA finals beat the Celtics NBA finals. We have to beat the Celtics one of these next two years.

The USMNT must fire Gregg Berhalter now or give up on the 2026 World Cup

Our players didn't play that well, but our coaching stunk. And so now he's gotta be fired. We gotta fire Greg. Now's time. If we're not gonna fire him now, just might as well give up on the World Cup.

The USMNT might just suck at soccer regardless of the coaching

Now I agree that Greg Berhalter should be fired... is there a chance we just suck at soccer? I feel like everyone just tells us that this is the best players that we've ever had. And yet if you look at it, it's like 20 years ago or 30 years ago, we accomplished way more.

Nothing is hotter than asking for consent even when you know you already have it

It was nothing's hotter than asking for consent when you know that you have it. I think a lot of problems. I agree.

Jared McCain is the best shooter in the draft, better than Reed Sheppard

He's the best shooter in the draft. He's the best shooter since Steph Curry... There have been two freshmen in NCA history with a 0.611 plus true shooting percentage. Two, two hundred ten three point attempts and 150 plus rebounds. And that's Jared McCain and Steph Curry.

Dog influencers use their pets' social media accounts to get dates

How often do you think fucking happens between two dog owners or a dog owner with that Instagram handle of their dog and uses the DMs to fuck? ... She slid into my goldendoodle's DMs... not Ms. Peaches because Dave is famous in his own right. I'm talking about like the people who have no fame, but their dog has insane fame. You definitely use that dog to fuck, right? A hundred percent yes.

Jason Tatum has no 'aura'

I have no aura. Perfect. Exa—great. Find it. That's, I have no aura... If you see it, you can tell, you can use, you don't have to know the definition... KG has a shit load... [Tatum] has no aura. No. Like Big Cat doesn't even, literally doesn't know what the definition of or is. He just knows... you can tell.

If you protest at a sporting event, your punishment should be getting hit with a ball from that sport

Your punishment should just be directly related to the sport. They should have to go stand at the tee box and Scottie Scheffler and Tom Kim get the tee one like right at them. That's what it should be.

Clutch Sports trying to nitpick Michael Jordan's 1988 stats is a desperate admission of defeat in the GOAT debate

I don't understand how you can look at this and not be like, this is the pettiest saddest thing possible. If you have to try to tear down MJ to elevate LeBron, you've already lost in my opinion. If you have to go back in time and trying to nitpick stats, you're essentially admitting that you've lost.

Connor McDavid is the greatest athlete in the world right now

Connor McDavid and him being the greatest athlete in the world right now, better at his sport than any other person is at their sport.

Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final will go to overtime

I think it's going overtime, which I didn't think it ever happened. Somebody told me it did. It might've been in the twenties or thirties for all I know. But game seven overtime for the Stanley Cup. I feel like this season's been so crazy that it might happen tonight.

The Bulls traded a winning player in Alex Caruso for a losing player in Josh Giddey

I am mad. I continue to be mad at this franchise. They fucking suck Jerry Reinsdorf. All he wants to do is win 40 games... Giddy Caruso. I love Caruso. He's a friend of the show. I love Caruso. This comes down to you traded a winning player in Alex Caruso for a losing player in Josh Giddey.

I will be the fastest I've ever been in the NFL this season at age 33

I want to be the fastest I've ever been. So my goal is to lean out, to be as fast as I've ever been. Top end speed, change the direction, and I truly, I think I can do it. I feel great right now... My goal is to be as fast and explosive as I possibly can.

Brad Stevens is in the conversation for the greatest GM of all time

Brad Stevens is, you know, the greatest GM of all time. I think he's gotta be. He's in all time in this conversation.

Jason Tatum has negative aura

Hank, would you like to speak at all about the fact that Jason Tatum has negative aura? It just didn't feel authentic, which again, this is very nitpicky because they just won the title. He just kind of speaks in memes and thinks in memes.

LSU should find a way to vacate Nick Saban's wins to be real haters

What I think LSU should do, find something that happened when Nick Saban was there, because Nick Saban is up for eligibility next year. And if they took away his wins at LSU... If you want to be a real hater, you could do that to a coach that left you and then came and coached for your rival.

Tearing my meniscus was one of the best things that happened to me this season

I'll tell you what, it almost, it was one of the best things that happened to me for the rest of the season. 'Cause it put me in like this fight or flight mentality to where like I could just not relax... I've been thinking about maybe getting hurt every All-Star break.

Hank has 24 hours to shave his head

24 hours... because then now you're people like you, Hank will be the reason why we struggle next year because we're trying to get ready for the next season... The longer you play that, the longer we're living in the past.

Fans should root for the NFL to lose the Sunday Ticket lawsuit

The NFL has always just kind of pressed forward and made as much money as they could from it. But this case is about what the NFL allegedly has done to protect the deals with CBS and Fox. And without getting too deep into the weeds, it's as simple as this. They required allegedly, but I think the evidence has proved this. They've required DirecTV to charge a certain price so people don't get it and they just watch whatever CBS or Fox has to offer. ... we should be rooting for the NFL to lose this because it will make it easier for all the fans to have cheaper choices and broader selections to watch outta market games on Sunday.

Tua Tagovailoa wouldn't get a massive contract on the open market

Tua I think goes into a different category as well. ... I don't think the Dolphins want to pay something that starts with a five. And you have to wonder, will they just say Tua go ahead because ask yourself that question. If Tua is available to anyone who wants him, what are they gonna pay? Yeah. What's it gonna get on the open market? And I feel like one of these days one of these teams is gonna draw that line in the saying.

Rory McIlroy's makeup sex with his wife is propelling his US Open performance

Now that [McIlroy] is back, he's having the makeup sex, and the makeup sex is propelling him to get in the hole.

Tom Brady is a better football player than he is a person

Tom Brady is one of those people who you can absolutely say he's a better football player than he is person. I very much disagree with that [Hank's] statement.

JJ Redick getting the Lakers job is a result of white and LeBron privilege

I love JJ solid dude... but it's a lot of privilege you going on... definitely white and LeBron [privilege]. Yes, definitely... you knowing it was coming. It was the setup and how are they cool? When did they ever, when have you ever seen them cool? This is all, this was all a play.

The USMNT should reach the semi-finals in the 2026 World Cup

I think our ceiling is probably the semi-finals at the very best in the next World Cup... Quarterly finals in the World Cup. And we've got a good enough team. The players are good enough to do it.

The US Men's National Team should fire Greg Berhalter

I just wanna say that the United States men's national team should fire Greg Berhalter on the record. He was fired in 2022 and then they brought him back... we lost five one to Colombia. Right. And this is... it's not gonna happen. We know it's not gonna happen, but we're still keeping 'em around and it's very frustrating.

Tiger Woods has a chance to finish Top 20 at Pinehurst because it is an easy walk

This might be the US open course that he [Tiger Woods] does... Because this is probably of all the US open venues, this might be the easiest of the walks. Okay. And that's what it takes for Tiger. Now that's part of the issue. It ain't the course, it's the walks. And the, and the stances.