Takes

Patrick Mahomes might be washed

Mahomes might be washed. He just discussed, he didn't play great at the end of the year. They choked in the Super Bowl.

Jaden Daniels is the fifth best quarterback in the NFL

I watched an hour of his highlights in the 4th of July... I think he's five. I think just, yeah, he's five.

Dak Prescott is the 24th best quarterback in the NFL

Make the accurate ranking tier. Just be 23 Daniel Jones, 24 Dak... I googled QB Rankings for 2025 Pro Football Focus. Where do you think they had Dak Prescott? 18, 17... I couldn't make him the 17th best anymore.

NBA free agency is officially a dud this year

NBA free agency has started and it's a dud. I'm gonna say it right now. It's a dud.

The NBA should rename the 'Second Apron' to 'Prison' to make it easier to understand

They gotta get rid of the apron word. I'm so sick of it. If they just called it jail and prison, I think it would make a lot more sense because that's really what it is. The second apron is prison. They basically, for people who don't understand what they've done with the salary cap... they restrict you. They put you in prison.

The NBA should have a random one-hour window where the salary cap is turned off completely

It's essentially video game rules. And Adam Silver just says for the next hour salary caps off. You turn off salary caps, you could do any trade ever. And you have to get your players signed in that window... And then he is like, boom, salary cap's back on.

LeBron James no longer runs the NBA league

I think LeBron thinks he still runs the league and he doesn't run the league anymore. I think he was expecting every team to be like, oh shit, LeBron, we could trade for LeBron. And everyone's like, why would we wanna trade for a one year retirement tour at $53 million for a guy who is gonna basically hijack our entire franchise?

The Houston Rockets are going to be awesome this season

The rockets are gonna be really good. I know that you don't win championships July 1st. The rockets are gonna be awesome. I'm a big, I think the Rockets are gonna be awesome. They basically have three centers now and they added Kevin Durant and I'm a Rockets believer.

Kevin Durant will win the title and secure a legacy year with the Rockets

I think KD's got a little fuck you going tour coming. I think he's got one more of those in him. And I think this might be the year... I think this might be a KD legacy year. I think he might win it all and then be like, now this one counts.

Adam Schefter uses specific character limits to bait clicks in notifications

I saw his post about a trade. It said Jalen Ramsey has been traded from the Miami Dolphins to, and then it was the...dot dot dot. It cut off right there. I think that Schefter knows exactly how many characters to use to make people actually click through and look at his tweet instead of just looking at the notification. I think that he's that good.

This is an 'all-in' season for the Pittsburgh Steelers

Ramsey is still a really, really good cornerback. They have Ramsey and Joey Porter Jr. So I think it's all in all it's good for the Steelers. It feels like this is the Steelers all in season, right?

The evidence of Malik Beasley gambling on his own games is absurdly obvious

The videos that came out after the investigation came out were very bad to say the least. I don't know if it's one of those things where if you could do this for any player... but the videos that came out were absurdly obvious that he was probably gambling on games.

WNBA players being petty toward Caitlin Clark is actually good for sports

Of course they don't like her. She's better than them and she's more popular. Like of course they're petty about it. I think that's good for sports... Kaylyn Clark will have a longer career, better career, make more money. She's gonna win in the long run. It doesn't have to be like a World War II every single time there's a slight on Kaitlyn Clark.

Deshaun Watson mentoring Shedeur Sanders is like an old person getting a pet

Lucky for Shedeur Sanders, he found a mentor in Cleveland that's taking him quote under his wing. It is Deshaun Watson. Deshaun Watson has stepped up to show the young guy the ropes... I think this is maybe a situation like who saved who, like an old person getting a pet?

The dropped third strike is the stupidest rule in all of baseball

The dropped third strike rule is the stupidest rule in baseball of all time. You swing in a pitch that's that bad... and then just because the ball like bounced away, you get to go to first base. It's a participation trophy. I literally made you swing at a pitch that didn't even make it to the plate. It was that bad. And you get to run to first base.

The Cincinnati Reds have an illegally flat pitching mound to gain an advantage

Cincinnati's tough. That mound is so flat. I know they're supposed to have regulations on how high the mound is, but whatever they're doing, they're cheating for sure. Because it's way lower. Our mound at home feels like a mountain compared to Cincinnati.

Bratwurst has the worst physical aftermath of any competitive eating food

There's a couple that like, I know going in, they're gonna be rough. Like anything with bratwurst, bratwurst, man, there's, they add extra fat in there and it, it's, it's running through you. It, it, it, it's, you're not in control. It's there. There's, there's accidents bound to happen there.

I can eat two gallons of soft-serve ice cream in eight minutes

I'm thinking close to, close to two gallons worth. It'd be, it'd be like, so I did an ice cream contest and after the contest I was like shivering because I was so, like, it was like everything was cold. So I, I think close to two gallons would be in, in about eight minutes.

CJ Abrams is the best Saber Metric pick in the Dingers Only draft because he leads off

Ideally you want your players to get as many opportunities to hit home runs as possible. Why not take a guy that hits lead off shortstop. CJ Abrams. He's gonna get like four more at bats than some of your guys' clowns.

You should always go reckless in Dungeons and Dragons

When people that I run games for among the Awls, I ask them if they're going reckless. They always say, of course, like Norm. Yeah, I gotta go reckless. You gotta go reckless because they look up to Norm. I think 100% it, you gotta always go reckless. 100%. No risk, no biscuit.

Baja Blast is the best soda ever created

Baja Blast... Probably the best soda ever created. Right, Hank? Easily, easily, easily. So grab a blast. A refreshing tropical lime flavor with Mountain Dew Baja Blast.

Baker Mayfield or Josh Allen will win the NFL MVP this year

I think Josh Allen. I would like to see, I would like to see Baker Mayfield win the VP in. Alright. Josh Allen though I'd like to see Baker win it, but Josh Allen's a... Josh Allen. Like Josh Allen would, we're just gonna talk about Josh Allen. It'd be incredible.

Josh Allen will win multiple Super Bowls

[Big Cat]: You think [Josh Allen] ever gets a Super Bowl? [Zac]: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You think so? Yeah, yeah. Shot. Absolutely. Absolutely. Probably multiple Super Bowls way he thinks.

Zac is the most selfish Dungeons and Dragons player for healing himself over the team

The most selfish player award goes to Zac. Absolutely... Crazy because if you had healed to any of us, we probably would've beaten the dragon... All fucked up.

Cooper Flagg could make close to a billion dollars in the NBA by age 32

If everything goes well for [Cooper Flagg] and he signs all of his extensions and everything... he could make close to a billion dollars in the NBA by age 32. He has a $62 million rookie deal... then he'd get the 30% supermax, which would be $359 million. And then he would get the 35% supermax, which would be $509 million.

The Pelicans' trade from pick 23 to 13 was the worst trade ever

Pelicans. Oh boy. Yep. That was the worst trade ever. They traded from 23 up to 13 and they gave away their unprotected first round pick next year. Actually worse than that... they gave whichever one is better, is higher. And if the Bucks trade Giannis, that could literally just be two shots at getting the one pick.

The Wizards must change their name back to the Bullets to fix their culture

They need to change their name so bad. They gotta go back to the bullets. I think you go back to the bullets day one, culture change, different mentality. Your shooters again.

Dick Monfort promoting his son to COO is a classic case of nepotism that won't fix the Rockies

The Colorado, we, we've given a lot of shit to their owner. Dick Monfort piece of shit... And he promoted his oldest son. Oh. To be Chief Operating Officer... They're not content to, to mi away in the slums of mediocrity. They're gonna fix it out by just having his son do all the things he was gonna do.

Ben Simmons hitting threes in a wide-open gym is the official sign of summer

We have the first sign of summer and it's Ben Simmons in a wide open gym hitting threes. He looked good. He looked so good... That's, that literally means summer's here.

Connor McDavid will win a Stanley Cup, but it will not be in Edmonton

Can [Connor McDavid] win the big one? Yes. Not in Edmonton. Oh, okay. I like that. That's a good take.

The Edmonton Oilers cannot win a Stanley Cup with their current goaltending

I said on Chiclets, like they don't have a goalie that you can win the Stanley Cup with. Now, once again, they were one game away from winning the cup with him... But if your starting goalie is getting pulled and losing his job in back to back playoffs, I don't think you have a Stanley Cup goalie. No.

The NHL will have an ambidextrous 'Shohei Ohtani' player within 30 years

I think we're gonna get the Shohei of hockey. The Shohei Ohtani ambidextrous NHL player that would rock... You'd have the straight stick and then you drive wide and be unreal Righty. And you'd drive wide and be unreal lefty. I just think that at some point you're gonna see things that you never thought imaginable.

Joe Burrow's terrible first pitch was a staged viral marketing stunt by Fanatics

I think that whole fucking fanatics thing was just like, they basically listed like, alright, what's gonna go viral? Let's make a fake viral thing here... And they were like, Joe Burrow, we're gonna pay you like $2 million suck at throwing baseballs. That's the only way I can stomach it.

Dak Prescott would be just as successful as Jalen Hurts if he played for the Eagles

I'm more thinking the defense was nasty... I think it's kind of hard to definitively say that Dak Prescott couldn't do what Jalen Hurts [does] if he had that much.

Chet Holmgren is a two-can drunk

How many beers do you think it takes Chet [Holmgren] to get drunk? I think it's like, I think he's a two can. I think two beers and a cigarette. Yeah. And he was puking.

The Celtics are rebuilt but no longer the same core

The real NBA news though, is Hank your Celtics, the championship team that you were on a duck boat with... is no more. Kristaps [Porzingis] gone. Jrue Holiday gone. Are they done?

The Wizards should draft Caitlin Clark to sell tickets

Why don't the [Wizards] draft Caitlin Clark? I think she'd sell tickets. I think she'd sell tickets. Now is, is she at the ability level to be an NBA player? No. Obviously not. But sell tickets. She can go out there, there ball and hoop. She can hit a couple threes.

Joe Burrow's bad baseball throw was a paid viral moment

My spin zone is that Michael Rubin just paid off every single person that had anything to do with Fanatics Fest and... Joe Burrow, you're gonna throw a baseball poorly. I actually think that he probably bought viral moments. I actually think that he probably bought viral moments... It's titled Joe Burrow throws a baseball poorly and here's the offer sheet.

Within six months, humans will be unable to distinguish AI from reality

My Hot Seat is pretty much everybody on earth. We probably need to come together and realize that we can't tell anymore. No. There's like, and I thought this would be like a decade, 15, 20 years from now. It's, I think it's in the next six months where it's here, it's absolutely finished and there's no need in getting on the internet. 'Cause you have no clue what you're looking at.

Houston is a great fit for Kevin Durant

I think it's a great fit for him. [Kevin Durant]... Stone is on an absolute heater now. I mean every single move this guy makes, it seems like usually you're just gonna get run wrong because of the way sports work... they desperately what they needed on offense. Like go get us those closing playoff moment buckets.

Bradley Beal has the least competitive pride relative to talent in the NBA

I mean 'cause [Bradley Beal] is just so checked out. He's totally, I think the scary thing about him is that, you know, I think anybody you think like if you're this good then there has to be some competitive pride in you. And he may have the least, there may be the biggest gap between just talent and how much he doesn't care. Yeah. Of any [player].

The Duke trio of Flagg, Knueppel, and Maluach are all special NBA prospects

I like all three guys a lot. [Cooper] Flagg... anticipation, the defense, I mean it just, his passing all this stuff is that he's a, he's a real competitor... [Kon] Knueppel iss like he's, he's gonna be very good pro... [Khaman] Maluach... he stays in front of [guards] by moving his feet... Those three guys are really special prospects.

This 2025 Thunder team is the worst version we will see during their upcoming dynasty

This is the worst Oklahoma City Thunder team that will win a championship during this dynasty run. They had to go to seven against the Nuggets. They had to go to seven against the Pacers. I don't expect that to happen ever again for them.

Whoever won the Thunder-Nuggets series was going to be the NBA champion no matter what

I think whoever won that Thunder-Nuggets series, that was going to be the champion no matter what. That was going to be the champion no matter what.

Sam Presti is one of the best GMs in any sport

This guy [Sam Presti] is one of the best GMs in any sport. And it's cool that he finally like 18 years, I think it's, he's been there and he just won with the second youngest team his way and a pocket full of picks going forward.

The Sixers are now in their championship window because the Eastern Conference is wide open

Next year is the Sixers' year. I feel like this is their year now. The East being wide open as it is. Celtics don't have Tatum. Pacers don't have Haliburton. Knicks don't have a head coach. You guys are good.

The NBA season is too long and the speed of the game is causing the recent spike in Achilles injuries

There's gonna be a big conversation about the length of the NBA season and are these guys too big, strong, fast? Because we had how many? We had Dame, Tatum, Haliburton all wear the number zero, all tore their Achilles in these playoffs. Season maybe goes too long.

Kevin Durant to the Rockets is a great fit because they finally have a go-to scorer

Great fit. Rockets are gonna be very good. They needed a go-to scorer. Kevin Durant is still a go-to scorer. ... I think that's the team he can go to... it's a young enough team that he can be like, yeah, they needed Kevin Durant.

It is worse for Kevin Durant's legacy if he actually wins a championship with the Rockets

I think it's worse for his legacy if he wins [with the Rockets].

Tommy Fleetwood choked at the Travelers Championship

Tommy Fleetwood, I don't really feel bad for [him]. He choked bad. He did choke. Like that's a choke that I... I was yelling USA at my TV.