Takes

Patrick Mahomes is the most fun player to watch in the NFL

Would you say that Patrick Mahomes is the most fun player to watch in the NFL? If the Chiefs are playing, I have an option to watch that game. I'm watching that game every single time.

NBA players would dominate the NFL as wide receivers and tight ends

I think NBA players playing football. All the way around. I think most NBA players could probably play wide receiver or tight end. That would be my answer.

Mike Tomlin is in his 'Les Miles season' where his luck has run out

This is his [Tomlin's] Les Miles season. You can be a shitty coach that makes bad decisions but gets lucky and you'll be fine. But the second your luck runs out, then everyone realizes how shitty you are. In the last four games, all their luck has gone away. I feel like this might be the end for Tomlin.

The Packers will hire Mike Tomlin because they need to keep the 'Mike' legacy going

Actually, you know where he'd go. Packers. They need a Mike. They need to keep the Mike legacy going. The Packers would grab him in a second.

Nick Foles is the greatest quarterback of all time

Nick Foles is the greatest quarterback of all time. I think that's fair. What, did he have four touchdowns today? He was amazing. He was incredible.

I'd rather the Bears play the Vikings than the Eagles in the playoffs

I'd rather play the Vikings than the Eagles. The Eagles are scary. Nick Foles is a scary quarterback. He's so fucking good. In the month of December and January, Nick Foles, when everybody else shrinks up because of the cold, Nick Foles just flops all around.

I will carry heavy objects between my desk and the studio all year to get 'boulders for shoulders'

The new office, it's probably about 100 feet from our desk to our studio. We should just carry something super heavy, so you have to carry it back and forth. You bring it in, then you've got to bring it back... we're going to start carrying random shit around.

I will read exactly one book and visit one museum in 2019

I have literally read one book [as a resolution]. That's a lot. I know that's a lot. I can do that. I also read, go to one museum. I have to pay for a ticket and try to learn a couple things in one museum.

I will learn how to do an ollie on a skateboard in 2019

I would love to do an ollie... I'd love to learn how to skateboard just a little bit. I watched Mid90s the other day. Awesome movie. But I'd love to learn how to skateboard just a little bit.

I'm going to lose 15 pounds in January

I'm going to lose 15 pounds in January. Are you really? That's the goal? Yeah. That's your baseline goal? I was just saying that. That was really... I tried to sneak attack you guys on that one.

I want to reach 200 pounds for the first time in my life

I'm going to gain eight pounds in January. Because I'm eight pounds away from 200. I've never been 200 in my life.

I will get a haircut that is just a very long mullet with lightning bolts on the side

I'm going to get a haircut this year... Would it be acceptable if I got a haircut and just turned into a mullet? Like a really fucking long mullet? Lightning bolts to the side.

The Freedom Football League will give fans who buy season tickets equity in the team

One of our main things is when people buy season tickets, they get part of the team. It'll be like owning a stock. So in the future, if the team is successful and sponsorships are coming in and the league is growing, fans are going to get a check in the mail.

Kyler Murray should choose baseball over the NFL

Hell yeah. No doubt. I just think his size and his skill set, I just think it's just a smoother path to baseball. He can play baseball forever. Make more money. Exactly.

Texas will be 'all the way back' if they beat Georgia in the Sugar Bowl

They [Texas] have this opportunity in the Sugar Bowl to be all the way back. If they beat Georgia, they're officially back. They're all the way back.

Australia doesn't exist

Australia doesn't exist. It's made up. If you're the king of England, would you rather just put all your prisoners on a boat, send them halfway across the world, and then pay for them to be fed? Or do you think that old king of England would have just sank that boat and just told everybody, hey, the prisoners are over in Australia now. They're fine.

Darren Rovell is pretending to be a gambler for his new brand

We should actually make a new segment, Darren Rovell trying to pretend like he's gambled before. It's always like, imagine talking to the dude who had the under in this game. No, I can't. I literally can't.

The Bengals and Marvin Lewis are staying together for the kids

The Bengals and Marvin Lewis are staying together for the kids. And they're in a loveless relationship. That's okay. They don't fight in public. They don't kiss on the lips anymore. That's fine.

Men evolved to nut fast to avoid being killed by woolly mammoths

From a Darwinian perspective, it's actually an advantage. Guys evolved to nut fast. Right. So we can spread our seed and be more efficient so that we don't get killed when we're like having a romantic tryst by a wandering woolly mammoth or T-Rex.

No one's going to beat Duke this year

Duke is still undefeated and they win against Texas Tech at Madison Square Garden. No one's going to beat Duke this year.

College basketball's five-foul rule is bullshit

He's saying the five fouls are bullshit. Well, guess what? It is. Fix it. Yeah, it is bullshit. It makes the game way less enjoyable to see a star player get subbed out in the first half after like 10 minutes.

Losing Josh Gordon makes the Patriots focus more and gives them a playoff advantage

Luckily, they— Everyone's saying that [they're done]. So it's basically they just have to dig deep, worry about coaching, and worry about fundamentals, which is where they have the advantage over every other team. And so losing Josh Gordon and knowing that Gronk might not be healthy, it's like, all right, everyone has to focus extra and then execute in the playoffs.

If the Cowboys are a legitimate NFC contender, they will beat the Bucs by 20+ points

If the Cowboys are a legitimate NFC contender, they beat the Bucs in this game by 20 plus. They bury Jameis Winston. They do not let him off the mat.

If the Texans get a first-round bye, they will go to the Super Bowl

I firmly believe that if the Texans get a bye, they will probably go to the Super Bowl. If they don't, no.

The Saints will 'kill' the Steelers

I think the Saints are going to kill the Steelers. The Saints, there's a lot of talk... oh, maybe not so good. They're not looking as great the last few weeks. They're at home. They're going to kill the Steelers.

Eli Manning is a more deserving Hall of Famer than Ben Roethlisberger

I think I'm convinced, though, to have Eli [Manning] over [Ben Roethlisberger]. I mean, Ben did have the lowest quarterback rating of all time in a Super Bowl victory.

The 2018 Bears defense is statistically better in every category than the 1985 Bears

What I found was this team [2018 Bears] is statistically better in every single defensive category than the 1985 Chicago Bears. This is the best defensive team that Chicago has ever seen. They're going to steamroll the 49ers.

A McGregor fight is for money, but I fight for legacy

Conor is the best for money fight... If you fight Conor, it's for money fight. I have money. I'm not really interested by money. It's more legacy. When I fight someone, it's because I want to have what he has.

Intermittent fasting is the key to curing the symptoms of ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease

The way I get rid of all my symptoms [for ulcerative colitis]... I got rid of the symptom with time-restricted eating and intermittent fasting. That's the way to do it, man. And people, they don't talk about it because they like to sell you the pill and everything because it's an industry.

It is harder to stay champion than to become champion

It's hard to be champion, but it's much harder to stay champion. Because when you're a champion, you're up there. Everybody's been studying your game for a long, long time. You only see that guy, you study that guy for maybe a few months. But him, he's been watching you for many years. So he had a lot more time to download your data than you did.

Conor McGregor broke mentally against Khabib Nurmagomedov

Conor [McGregor] broke mentally into that fight [against Khabib Nurmagomedov]. He didn't give up physically, but he gave up mentally. He looked like he wasn't there. At one point, that's what happened.

I would rather be able to dunk than suck my own dick

Which would you rather do? [Dunk or suck your own dick]. For me, it's a no-brainer. I'd rather dunk. Yeah, I would dunk.

The New Zealand Breakers would crush Rick Pitino's Greek team

Panathinaikos versus the Breakers. Who wins? Breakers. Yeah, for real? Yeah, definitely. We would crush Panathinaikos. No chance.

Greece is the perfect place for Rick Pitino to coach

Rick Pitino's going to a place where there's a lot of backroom dealings and shady handshake deals and no one pays their taxes. Pretty good place.

The peak of life is age 24 or 25

I'd say like 24. Yeah, 24 is a good age, but yeah, 25, because you can rent a beach house in a car. The age where you don't have, you have not gotten old enough to realize life is meaningless. But you're not young enough to be dreading what life is going to look like.

Cam Newton is clearly playing through a severe shoulder injury

If you have two eyes and a brain, Cam Newton is very, very hurt... Different guy since he got hit by T.J. Watt in that Thursday night football game.

The Saints are the most complete team in the NFC

The Saints look pretty good. Their defense is awesome, I would say. So, yeah, they are probably the most complete team in the NFC, I would say.

The fumble-out-of-the-end-zone touchback rule is actually good because it rewards defense

You're looking at as the punishment doesn't fit the crime... You should look at it as the reward. It fits the feat. It fits the accomplishment. So if you're the defense and you make a guy fumble through the end zone at the one-yard line, that's an awesome play... You should get a big reward for that.

Bryce Harper will sign with the Philadelphia Phillies

Bold prediction. Phillies.

LeBron James would be the best netball player in the world right now

How long do you think it would take for LeBron James to be the best netball player in the world? Probably he is right now already.

If you don't believe in witchcraft and its protective powers, you're crazy

The cool throne is witchcraft. If you don't believe in this stuff, you're crazy. Because Jack Dorsey... sent in his beard hair to get himself protection against ISIS. Seems like it worked.

I actually like Carrie Underwood's 'Game On' Sunday Night Football song now

I have maybe been tweeting about that from weeks one through 14, and then week 15... I just started singing it, and I was like, you know what? I give up. I like this song now.

The 76ers need to add more shooters to optimize the spacing for Joel Embiid and Jimmy Butler

[Embiid] seems like he's having some trouble with figuring out spacing and where he wants to be... that has less to do with Jimmy and much more to do with they need more shooters on that team.

The Chicago Bulls are viewed as a 'joke' around the NBA

Nick Friedell is our insider today... He said, around the league, when you go around and talk to people, the word they use talking about the Chicago Bulls is a joke.

Chicago Bulls executive John Paxson has a job for life and will never be truly fired

John Paxson has a job for life. I actually think that... in 50 years when he passes... the Reinsdorfs will put an eternal flame in his office and that oil to keep that eternal flame lit will probably hamstring them so they can't sign any free agents.

Luke Walton's job is safe for the rest of the season

I don't see Luke Walton on the hot seat because Magic Johnson said he's going to be around for the rest of the season barring something catastrophic. So there you go.

The Lakers have a better shot at trading for Anthony Davis now than in the summer

If you're the LA Lakers and you want a shot at Anthony Davis without Danny Ainge and all his pile of assets competing with you... they have a more clear run at Anthony Davis now than they will in the summer.

The Lakers would trade anyone on their roster except LeBron James to get Anthony Davis

There is nobody on that roster that you wouldn't trade to get Anthony Davis playing with LeBron James.

Kawhi Leonard is a robot who does not have emotions

He doesn't have emotions. He's a robot... he doesn't have a heart yet. He laughed, there was some laughing, him and Nick Saban laughed the same way, they both have like a button they're like it is appropriate to laugh now so I will push my tickle button.

The Rockets will not finish as the top seed in the Western Conference this season

I don't think they're going to be the top seed in the West this year. I think I can go out on a limb and say that.