Takes

The Yankees' protest against ESPN's scheduling is a power move using Aaron Boone's inside knowledge

It's also a power move because you know Aaron Boone knows the inside deal with ESPN, so he knows the leverage he has.

The NFL has a 'charity problem'

I'm going to go as far to say, does the NFL have a charity problem? Might be. Might be. Let's look into that.

Darren Rovell officially killed 69 jokes

Rovell has caught on... He did it on the Browns to win the Super Bowl, $6.90. And get this, the ticket writer laughed no less than three times... This is like when your parents figure out how to text emojis... it just kind of all loses its luster.

The best way to kill a stale joke is to have Darren Rovell use it

The best way to kill a joke... the best way to kill that would be to have Darren Rovell just hop all over, and then everybody just... so it's dead.

Miss America is no longer a beauty pageant if it removes the bikini portion

It's also ridiculous that a beauty pageant is no longer being judged on beauty. That's where we're at.

Selling songs to commercials is a valid way to support a family and not 'selling out'

I've always viewed music with the eye of like... laughing and kind of throwing up like, kind of like that, that whole thing that exists in the urban world. That's kind of like, yeah, yeah, I'm in this commercial and it's dope and it's taking care of my family... I've just never understood the mentality... of like, hey, it's sellouty to make money and I'd rather be like a cool hipster that is not making money for my family.

LeBron James' bad body language on the sidelines in Game 1 was weird and indefensible

To never even look at your teammates in the eye and be like, hey guys, we could still win this game. That was a little weird to me. ... he did the bad body language where he was like, we will lose to Golden State. He didn't look, and he kind of moved his shoulders like, oh, fine. You guys have cooties. I don't want to touch you.

LeBron James will not join the Houston Rockets in free agency

By the way, I know it's one of the odds-on favorites for LeBron James, but do we want to just get real risky with it and say LeBron James not going to the Houston Rockets?

Donald Trump was intimidated by Nick Foles' physical presence

I think Trump might have been a little intimidated having Nick Foles... True, big dick Nick. You can't have a guy like that storm into your Oval Office... Especially with Melania around now. He basically becomes the president.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are dead

Today is Monday, June 4th and the Cleveland Cavaliers are dead. So, so dead.

I think the Cavaliers will win at least one game at home in the Finals

I do think the Cavs will win a game at home. But that was like... When David West is hitting threes, when JaVale McGee and Sean Livingston go 11 for 1...

Steph Curry could finally win Finals MVP to get the torch passed to him

But the big knock on Steph Curry was he was never the best guy in the finals when his teams won. And tonight he was the best guy for the Warriors. So now Steph Curry, could he finally get the torch passed to him for an offseason by winning an MVP?

The referees are taking the torch this postseason by being consistently bad

I think the torch goes to the referees. Yes, the refs were also bad. They take the torch from Kevin Durant. A combination of game one and two. They followed it up. At least they're consistent. They're consistently bad.

Draymond Green should get credit for the dress shorts look, not LeBron

Shorts are definitely back. But [LeBron] got co-opted by Draymond Green. Green showed up in some dress shorts, too. I think that's the new look. It's like ACDC chic. Draymond said that he should be getting credit for shorts, not LeBron.

Nothing short of injuries to Klay Thompson and Kevin Durant will allow the Cavs to win the series

When I say they're dead, I mean they could win a game, maybe even two games, but there's nothing short of like Klay Thompson and Kevin Durant both getting injured that would make the Cavs win this series.

The Capitals are a wagon and I am feeling very confident about them winning the Cup

The Caps stole one at home. They're a great road team. They're not a good home team. So they stole a game at home. I'm feeling very, very confident. I'm going to be down at Game 4 on Monday... The Caps, they're a wagon.

Dan Snyder is sitting somewhere pissed off that a DC sports team is actually winning a championship

What I really do like about this run that we're on is that Dan Snyder is sitting somewhere so pissed off. So, so mad that a sports team in Washington, D.C. is winning something.

Jon Taffer is a curse on everyone

Well, there's definitely a Taffer curse. Yeah, Taffer's definitely a curse. It's a curse on everyone.

Pusha T killed Drake in their rap beef

So Pusha T killed Drake. Yes. Drake cannot stop. He's still going to come out with an album. We'll probably have some subtle shots, but I don't think he's going to come out with a full-on diss track.

Drake doesn't have the bars to keep up with Pusha T in a rap beef

Drake doesn't have the bars... Slash Drake is also very scared. I'm just going to say this. Drake doesn't have the bars.

You can't fire an FBI agent for breakdancing

You can't fire someone for feeling a dance circle. If you've ever been at a wedding, any kind of party, there's nothing more awkward than a dance circle where no one goes in. So this guy had to go in. He did an unbelievable move.

No two nations that have McDonald's have ever had a war against each other

No two nations that have McDonald's have ever had a war against each other. Please credit Pardon My Take. Please credit us for inventing that economic principle.

Melania Trump's absence is a genius way to control the media narrative

I hope she's just it actually is genius. If I could totally see like President Trump being like, let's just have Melania never be shown in public again. Just so there's always like a conspiracy theory in my back pocket that can take like take control of the media narrative at any point.

Raleigh Fingers has a better sports mustache than me

I don't think so [that I'm the #1 sports mustache]. Who's number one? You've got to go way before you guys. Raleigh Fingers with the handlebar mustache.

The MLB is likely 'juicing' balls by sewing stitches tighter to reduce air resistance

I've talked to Ron Darling... and he says the stitches are sewn tighter. They're not as elevated... Ronnie says when the ball leaves the bat, there's no seams to grab the air and the ball travels further. I never thought of that. And it makes perfect sense. They do other ways too. That little core there, they can make that thing like a rubber band as much as they want. But don't ever admit, throughout my playing day, there has always been talk of the ball's juiced and they want more home runs today. And the MLB will always deny it.

Radar guns should be removed from baseball so pitchers actually pitch instead of just throwing hard

I would take the radar gun out. Pitchers watch. I talked to Jacob deGrom, and he said he looks up there, and if he's at 94, he wants to get to 95. You know they're watching and I think just take them off the board... Just so the pitchers would pitch instead of throw. Nothing better than a pitcher that knows how to go out and watch a guy throw a beautiful game.

Mike Trout is the best player in the game

Oh, Trout. Trout's the best player in the game. He's ungodly.

Steroid users who were caught should not be in the Hall of Fame

He's tainted. You're right. You shouldn't get in the Hall of Fame. Yes, I do [believe that]. If you're caught.

The Tom Seaver trade was the beginning of the Mets' downward spiral in 1977

I didn't really appreciate when I was coming up... the Mets were very good, but starting to fade a little... And then they made the Seaver trade, and I think that was the beginning of the spiral in '77, and they were horrible teams.

If Doc Gooden hadn't missed time in 1987, the Mets would have won 10 more games and the division

if we had had Doc [Gooden] I think that it would have been... we would have had 10 more wins. We would have won the division and no one would be talking about this. So that i just those things piss you off... '87 will always stick in my craw.

Keith Hernandez was nicknamed 'Mex' for a year before telling teammates he was actually Spanish

one of the funny parts about his career, he was nicknamed Mex, because his last name's Hernandez... And he waited a year, and he was like, hey, guys, I'm actually Spanish. I'm actually not Mexican. It's from Spain.

Clay Matthews might be over the hill because of his slow reaction time

I think Clay Matthews might be over the hill because his reaction time was really bad. It was pretty slow. Really slow. This was a softball... You should be able to get your glove up.

LeBron James insisted on Kendrick Perkins being on the Cavs specifically to kill J.R. Smith if he made a mistake

The reason why LeBron insisted on getting Kendrick Perkins on his squad was just for this type of situation. I fully expect Kendrick Perkins to kill J.R. Smith.

The Cavaliers lost Game 1; the Warriors did not win it

I would say that the Cavaliers lost this game. The Warriors did not win it. So it's still 0-0.

Steve Kerr can't coach dunking because he's never touched a rim in his life

Have you noticed that the Warriors are the worst team in the NBA at dunking? ... I think it's because Steve Kerr's ever touched a rim in his life. So he can't coach dunking. That's the one part that he can't teach the guys about.

If you don't appreciate LeBron James' greatness while watching him, you aren't a sports fan

LeBron, at this point, you can hate him... but if you're sitting and watching LeBron and not being like, this is incredible, everything he does, then you're not a sports fan. Even his teammates do it.

The Cavs are going to get swept after J.R. Smith's Game 1 mistake

There's no recovery from that [J.R. Smith play]. None whatsoever. They're going to get swept.

The 76ers must fire Bryan Colangelo after the burner account scandal

So what happens with Bryan Colangelo? He's got to get fired. You got to fire him. You got to fire him. You got to fire him.

The Washington Capitals are a team of destiny

We're going to talk about how the Washington Capitals, our Washington Capitals, are a team of destiny? Yes. ... Cap's got this. They're just stronger. Stronger, faster?

John Stockton is the GOAT because he affected every part of the game more efficiently than MJ or LeBron

A guy got the ball 90% of the time and he's very effective... you look up on a scoreboard, and he has 20-something points, 15 assists, four steals, and six rebounds... That's a hell of a game. And you only play 32 minutes... you can't take none of the 34 minutes off against him because he's going to be so effective.

The 1996 Sonics were just as good as the 72-win Bulls

I don't think they [1996 Bulls] were the best team of all time. We was pretty damn good our goddamn self. ... I mean, we had won, what, they won 72, we won 64? ... I think that Sonics team, we won zero plus five years in a row yeah five years in a row.

Seattle will get an NBA team back by 2020 or 2021

I think so. I think it's like 2021 or 2020 is going to happen. I know we've just got to prove for our arena to get done. We've got a hockey team coming in there. That's all what the NBA wants.

The modern NBA is soft because referees bail out scorers like James Harden with constant fouls

Basketball has changed. It's not like when we played. We were more physical. We could put our hands on guys. All the jumping into everybody and all the fouls going towards the offensive player, that wasn't happening in our era... Nowadays in this era... letting [scorers] go underneath your arm and letting [them] get the threes when he jump up and you're trying to guard him and the referees bail him out.

The 2004 Lakers were lucky to even make it to the NBA Finals

We were even lucky to get into the championships... Shaq didn't play 50-some games. Kobe didn't play 40-some games. And [Malone] 62. So it was a situation where we were even lucky to get into the championships... we just so happened, got everything together and we lucked up and got into the championship.

Dikembe Mutombo has the worst feet in NBA history

You know, I used to watch his [Shaq's] feet a lot. ... have you seen the Dikembe Mutombo feet? That's the worst.

Draymond Green is the best trash-talker in the NBA today

Draymond is probably the one that can do it the best... Draymond was like me, but he takes it far. And some of the referees would have kicked him out a lot, and he would have had a lot of texts like me.

I would have trash-talked Gary Payton off the court if he hadn't faked an injury in 2014

Are you scared that I would have trash talked you off the court? ... I mean, that was someone was covering for your ass because your ass didn't want a piece of me.

I am predicting that if the NBA Finals go poorly, LeBron James will take a year off from the NBA

Today is June 1st, 2018. Stamp it. I am predicting that if LeBron James, if the finals don't go exactly how he wants them to go in his head, in his head only, LeBron James is going to take a year off.

Yu Darvish reading hate on Twitter is making him sad and affecting his play

Yu Darvish is sad because he thinks that all of the Cubs fans and all of Chicago hates him because he's been on the DL twice and it's just now June 1st. And he also reads everything on Twitter and doesn't like getting the hate.

Chris Jimenez is a terrible friend for publicly revealing that Yu Darvish is sad about Twitter hate

How terrible, though, is it for your friend to go on record and be like, hey, every time you go on Twitter and hate on Yu Darvish, he reads it and he despises it and gets him really sad. Yeah, that's basically the worst thing he could do. I know he was trying to be a good friend. Terrible friend. Very bad friend.