Takes

Seahawks running back Chris Carson will rush for 1,200 yards this season.

Carson is coming back this year. He broke his leg last year. That guy is going to be an awesome running back. I'm standing on the table officially right now for Chris Carson. You heard it here first. That guy is going to run for like 1,200 yards.

Kirk Cousins is going to suck for the Vikings this year.

Kirk Cousins is going to suck this year. The answer is no [on whether he is good enough to get them past where they went a year ago].

The Green Bay Packers will face the Jacksonville Jaguars in Super Bowl LIII.

I had in my predictions the Super Bowl as Packers versus Jaguars. I think the Patriots are going to be... as long as Belichick and Brady are there, they're going to be fine. It's just that I don't think they're going to the Super Bowl. I think Jacksonville's legit.

Sam Darnold will be the first rookie quarterback to start a game in the 2018 season.

Who's going to be the first rookie quarterback to start a game? Darnold. I think Darnold's going to start sooner rather than later.

Josh Allen is going to be a big-time NFL quarterback despite his college stats.

Josh Allen's going to be a good quarterback, though, but I can't figure out for the life of me why that kid takes as much abuse as he does. Okay, his stats weren't good at Wyoming, but if you watch the tape, he was playing with bouncers and bartenders... he is going—it might take him a little seasoning—but he's going to be a big-time quarterback.

The Cincinnati Bengals have a chance to be a sneaky playoff team in 2018.

Don't sleep on the Bengals either, by the way. You're going to laugh when I tell you that. The Bengals have a chance. Because they've got young talent on defense... Lawson and Willis... and that offensive line... I think it'll be better with getting Cordy Glenn in there.

Jon Gruden is going to be a disaster for the Raiders.

I think John Gruden is going to be such a disaster for the Raiders, but I am so excited to watch it. It's going to be three yards in a cloud of dust. They're going to get figured out by week three.

The Cleveland Browns will win seven games this year

I have something very brave to say. I think the Cleveland Browns are going to win seven games this year.

The Cleveland Browns are going to win the AFC North

I think they're going to win the division. And you know what? They're going to be fun as shit. I'm dead serious. They got Pac-Man [Adam Jones] coming in at cornerback maybe? They will definitely win more than – I'm going to say, yeah, like they're in that – yeah, they'll be scrappy. They'll be upgraded to scrappy.

The 2018-19 Lakers will be a 4 or 5 seed in the Western Conference

The Lakers shouldn't be very good this year, right? Yeah, I think probably like the four or five seed. Yeah, they'll finish somewhere around there.

Facebook is officially done as a relevant company

I'm calling my shot. I'm going to put the PFT death stake is going into Facebook right now. Wow. They're done. Have you been on Facebook recently? No. It's trash... it's all ants, trolls, and ants.

This is the year Ryan Tannehill finally takes the next step

The Ryan Tannehill knee brace, Tannehill 2.0. He is really leaning into this is the year that Ryan Tannehill takes the big step, the next step. I think it's awesome that wearable technology has gotten to the point where a quarterback can have their total QBR on their actual equipment.

Skip Bayless will blame LeBron James for destroying the American education system

Skip Bayless for saying that LeBron James is destroying the American educational system by making children stay up too late to watch West Coast games. Ruining America's future. He'll deputize himself to be the watchdog and guardian of America.

The Duke Blue Devils are definitely winning the national championship

The Duke Blue Devils are going to win the national championship. And this isn't a reverse jinx. I know you're thinking, Big Cat, you hate Duke. No, no, no. They're definitely going to win the national championship. You heard it here first. It's done.

The Cleveland Cavaliers will make the playoffs as a 7 or 8 seed this year without LeBron James

I think the Cavs are going to make the playoffs. That's my hot take. I think they're going to be like a 7 or an 8 seed.

Tim Tebow would definitely hit a home run if he were ever called up to the Major Leagues

If you think Tim Tebow would not have hit a home run in the major leagues, you do not know Tim Tebow, my friend. All the guy does is miracles. That's all he does.

Joe Flacco's mobility is night and day compared to last year

Joe Flacco's mobility is night and day compared to last year. He's healthy now. Flacco is full speed. The difference is evident. No limitations as a scrambler. Or even on designed runs. So they're opening up the playbook for Flacco. They're going to let him show off the wheels.

Kawhi Leonard will hate Toronto and his uncle will continue to speak for him

Kawhi Leonard, does he like Toronto or not? It was reported that he hates it. He didn't leave his hotel room during the All-Star game. Will he or will he not stay or play or ever do anything else on a basketball court because no one's talked to him in like 10 months and his uncle has taken his brain and is now speaking for him.

Fortnite being a distraction will be the biggest story of the 2018 college football season

I think we can all agree the big story of the 2018 college football season is going to be coaches being mad about Fortnite. I think that is going to be the big overarching story every single week.

Dabo Swinney will be the first coach to win a game of Fortnite to impress recruits

I'm going to make a prediction. I'm going to try to call my shot. Dabo [Swinney] is going to be the first one to ever win a game of Fortnite. To battle royale number one. Because he's going to start playing and being like, check it out, guys. I play Fortnite like you do.

The Red Sox will win the World Series this year

You're going to guarantee the Red Sox World Series this year? [PFT] Yeah. [David Ortiz] Oh, heard here first... First reported. After first reported, I call the Red Sox World Series champ.

The Oakland A's will make the Wild Card in 2018

The Oakland A's will happen to creep into that Wild Card spot in the AL. The Oakland A's will be playing meaningful and potential postseason baseball come the finish of... late September.

Bryce Harper will not be a National next year.

We commonly agree that, yes, Bryce Harper is no longer going to be a National next year.

Le'Veon Bell and the Steelers are never getting back together.

Le'Veon Bell and the Steelers are never, ever getting back together.

Le'Veon Bell will eventually sign with the Washington Redskins.

So, yeah, future Washington R-Word Le'Veon Bell. You heard it here first on Pardon My Take.

Yadier Molina will be the next player-manager for the St. Louis Cardinals.

Yadier's going to be the new player manager. That's what my sources are telling me.

The Jabari Parker contract is a perfect risk for the Chicago Bulls

Jabari Parker, two-year, $40 million. It's actually the perfect risk by the Bulls to do that but it is very funny when you see the number 40 million and you realize that a guy who's got two torn ACLs is getting 40 million.

France will win the 2018 World Cup Final

I'm going to go with France as well. Mbappé is 19.

Croatia will win the 2018 World Cup because of the 'presence of smoke'

Taking Croatia because their presence of smoke.

Croatia will beat England in the World Cup semi-final

England has a lot of experience in losing big games. I kind of like them to lose this one to Croatia. I like how scraggly the Croatian players are. They just have that element of a little bit of slime to them... I just think Croatia is going to be a little bit too slimy for the Brits to grab onto.

LeBron James will fake an injury and tank his first season with the Lakers to wait for Kawhi Leonard

I think LeBron, this is going to be a year... and then LeBron is going to do his first year where he fakes an injury. Pretty much broken hand. tanks, and then comes back. Saves it all up. That's why they signed Lance Stevenson... he just stacked the team with a bunch of guys who aren't really going to do anything, and LeBron can sit out for a year.

Phil Jackson will return to coach the Lakers after LeBron's first year

Phil wouldn't come back this year, but maybe once they add another piece or two and LeBron gets his one year of a fake injury out of the way, that is a prime Phil Jackson move to swoop in on an already established, really good team.

The 2022 World Cup will be the 'fall of sports' due to the overlap with the NFL season

I'm calling it right now. It's going to be the fall of sports. It's going to be nonstop sports all the time.

The 2018 Cleveland Browns will win 6 to 8 games and potentially make the playoffs

I'm calling it right now six to eight wins. We may be able to go nine and seven and sneak in as a wild card.

LeBron James will beat up Skip Bayless at some point this year

There's a good chance that LeBron beats up Skip Bayless at some point this year.

Dwight Howard's career will end with him dominating in China

This is just one step closer to Dwight Howard's perfect ending of his career, and that's just dominating in China... Dwight Howard will go to China and be like yeah everyone loves me no one has told me to fuck off in English.

I will win a National Championship for the state of Louisiana

I want a national championship for the state of Louisiana, for these players. They yearn for it. They work for it. And I want to win a national championship there.

I have about 10 years of football left in me

I probably got, like, 10 more [years]... I probably got, like, six or, like, seven, like, real years in me. Then the last three, I just steal... Dwight Freeney style. Just, like, be a mercenary in the middle of the year.

I will announce my NFL retirement on Pardon My Take

Lane Johnson will announce his retirement at some point on Pardon My Take. Okay. We want to shake hands on this? Yeah. Okay, let's shake hands. We will do this.

Uruguay and Argentina will advance in the World Cup

I'm going to go Uruguay and Argentina [to win their knockout games].

Bike sharing programs are an eyesore and will block sidewalks

In my town, you're done with it, you leave it. Doesn't matter where... Just throw it on the side of the road... You can't even walk on the sidewalk... You will eventually have to jump over these.

Digital menus where you touch items to see pictures are the future of dining

Here's what's going to happen with digital menus... We're going to look at a menu. We're going to see stuff listed... When I touch the item, I'll see the picture... and then it'll disappear... so I can see it when I want to.

LeBron James will sign with the Lakers

LeBron's going to sign with the Lakers. Paul George is going to stay in Oklahoma. No, I think playoff P is going to L.A.

Germany will score a million goals against South Korea and advance in the World Cup

[Speaker 3] (4:45-4:47) And Germany, of course, is going to advance. [Speaker 3] (4:47-4:50) They're going to score a billion goals against whichever team they're playing. [Speaker 3] (4:50-4:52) I don't even know who they're playing. [Speaker 3] (4:52-4:52) South Korea? [Speaker 3] (4:57-4:58) They'll score a million goals. [Speaker 3] (4:58-4:59) Germany will advance.

Paul George is going to sign with the Lakers

[Speaker 3] (25:30-25:31) My cool throne is the Lakers. [Speaker 3] (25:34-25:38) And Paul George is going to L.A. to take a meeting. [Speaker 3] (27:55-27:58) Yeah, I think Paul George is going to L.A.

LeBron James will sign with the Lakers if Paul George goes there first

[Speaker 3] (27:58-28:02) I think if Paul George goes to L.A., LeBron is very fast behind him. [Speaker 3] (28:13-28:18) But the minute one of those two guys [George or Kawhi] goes to L.A., [LeBron] is going to L.A.

History will remember Carmelo Anthony as someone who sucked, forgetting how good he actually was

Here's what's going to happen to Melo, which kind of sucks. Because Melo, I mean, all-time scorer... He's definitely going to play for a couple more years, and everyone's going to look back and be like, Melo sucked. They will not remember that Melo was very, very good.

Baggy clothes will eventually come back into fashion

Everything is going to come full circle. The baggy clothes... I still have my Coogee sweaters. And they're starting to slowly come back. It's going to all come back, bro.

I will play in the NBA for only one more year

[Question: How many more years you got?] One. That's it? Yes.

Luka Doncic dominated the second best league in the world and will be very good

Luka Doncic, I think, will be very good. He dominated the Spanish League. That's the second best league in the world. He's 18 years old. He won the MVP of the Spanish League in his 18. That's pretty fucking good.