Takes

I'm taking the Eagles at home against the Redskins

I'm going to go with the Eagles at home against the R-Words. Ooh, Monday night.

The Yankees are going to win the World Series because they have 'the look'

The Yankees, I think, are going to win the World Series. I'm actually going to say that right now. I think they have what we call the look. I was going to say the aura, actually.

The 49ers are 'cover machines' and I will keep betting on them

My cool throne is, number one, the 49ers for the gambling luck. They've lost the last, what, five games by three points or less? They're cover machines. I'm going to keep riding those Niners.

Philadelphia can't have nice things, so the Eagles' success will eventually fall apart

My hot seat is the Eagles. And this is quick... It just seems like it's too good right now. And Philadelphia can't have nice things.

Maryland football will become a contender in the Big Ten under DJ Durkin

I think if DJ Durkin stays, that there'll be a time not too far from now when not just the Minnesotas of the world that you beat, maybe you can step up. I'm telling you.

I will never do another show with Ryen Russillo

I don't think we're ever going to do a show again. [SVP and Russillo]

The Dodgers will fold if the Cubs push them because California teams are soft

As long as [the Cubs] win two games at Wrigley... I still think the Dodgers, if you push them a little, they'll start to fold. They're a little soft. [Because they're from California?]. That would be correct.

If Johnny Hendricks loses at UFC 217, he should retire

I think [Hendricks] would have to start looking at retirement. [if he loses].

Hugh Jackson will lose the power struggle with the Browns front office

When you know the front office and the coach are on the outs with each other... only one can survive... I think Hugh's going to lose that power struggle.

Mitchell Trubisky and the Bears will cover +6.5 against the Ravens

Taking our boy, Mitchell. Mitchell Trubisky. Plus six and a half... The Bears, are we sure they're bad with Mitchell Trubisky? This is a breakout game. They've covered the spread.

Eli Manning might get traded to the Jaguars to reunite with Tom Coughlin

Do you hear this one about Eli Manning maybe getting traded to the Jaguars? Because Tom Coughlin. Think about it.

The Eagles have no possible way to screw up this winning season

Philadelphia's got their blue-collar quarterback and a winning team. There is no possible way they can screw this one up, folks.

JJ Watt might legitimately be forced into retirement by this injury

It's a tibial plateau fracture and as somebody with Google I can now report with confidence that he's fucked... This might be like legit retirement for J.J. Watt. Not Players' Tribune fakery.

Washington sports teams will win the World Series and Stanley Cup this year

Washington is back. It's the Nats year. It's the Caps year... So they're going to win the World Series. They're going to win the Stanley Cup.

Ben McAdoo taking away practice music is a sign he's about to be fired

That is the last thing you do before you get fired. Take away the team's music. No more fun on this team. The ping-pong table, they take that out of the player's room, and they're like, it's over.

The 0-5 Giants could still end up going 11-5

All their games have been one-score games, so they could be 5-0. They could very well be 5-0... Could they end up going 11-5?

The Indians will sweep the Yankees in the ALDS

The Indians and the Yankees. The Indians are up 1-0. I think they will sweep.

I love the Packers moneyline and spread against the Cowboys

Love, love, love the Packers. Plus two. I love Moneyline. I love them straight up... Love the spread, love the money line.

The Cleveland Browns will win at least two games this season

Could the Browns go two and 14? The Browns could... they could win two games... I'm going to cross my mind on the Will They Win 4 games, but two games? Still could do it.

Wisconsin will lose in the Big Ten Championship game this year

Wisconsin, this is their year. Oh, yeah. They're probably going to lose in the Big Ten championship this year.

The 2017 Nationals are the most balanced team I have been on heading into the playoffs

Man, if there's ever a year, this is a year. I've been in postseason several times now, and this team that we have going into postseason, man, it's one of the best teams I've been upon just in terms of overall balance. You're talking about we have speed guys, we have power, we have pitching, we have elite pitching.

Jared Goff is a league MVP candidate

Jared Goff, league MVP candidate. Jared Goff, actually good. I love seeing this because everyone who jumped off the Jared Goff bandwagon, you go fuck yourself.

Lock of the Week: Ravens +3 at home against the Steelers

I'm going to go with the Baltimore Ravens. Home dogs. Plus three. ... If I know Joe Flacco, and I know him pretty well, this is one of the weeks that he comes out and he has like three touchdowns and 320 yards.

Lock of the Week: Rams +6 and outright win vs. Cowboys

I like the Los Angeles Rams, plus six. I think they're going to win that game outright. [They are playing] the Cowboys.

Lock of the Week: Jaguars -3 vs. Jets

I'm going to go with the Jaguars. Minus three. In New York. ... I think Blake Bortles, there's no way he can regress. I think he finally took the step forward and he'll never take a step back again.

Big Baller Brand will corner the market because they're the only shoe company not implicated in the bribery scandal

Big Baller Brand, by being the only shoe company that's not implicated, could have just cornered the market.

Randy Moss will be a first-ballot Hall of Famer

I think he is [a first ballot Hall of Famer]. Yeah. He has the numbers. He had the type of impact on football that would warrant him going into the Hall of First Ballot.

The 0-3 Giants have the league right where they want them and will win the Super Bowl

Do the Giants have everyone right where they want them? Because this feels like one of those stupid years where everyone's like, Eli's the worst quarterback ever, and then they'll just finish 9-7 and somehow win the Super Bowl.

Bryce Harper will lead the Nationals to a surefire World Series title

He's coming back to lead the Nationals to a surefire World Series. It's the Nats year. This is the year that Natitude is back.

The 2017 Rams are a legitimate threat and sleeper pick

The team that I've been hot on, even before this happened, before the season again, was the Rams. I said before the season, I think there'll be at least a 500 team with Sean McVay in there and Wade Phillips.

Andrew Luck will return from injury by Week 5 or 6

Right now, I think I said in the start of the season, probably by week six. What is this, three? So, yeah, I would say five or six.

The OKC Thunder will get swept by the Golden State Warriors in the playoffs

Who gets the shot at the end of game four when they're getting swept by the Golden State Warriors? Russ, triple team.

I'm taking the under in the London game between the Jaguars and Ravens

So I am going to be taking an under in the London game. I'm here to announce that. Coming out of the closet as an, what do I call myself? Brave. The undercover boss?

The Redskins will cover +3 at home against the Raiders

I'm taking the R words. Plus three at home in the Sunday nighter against the Raiders coming into town... I immediately want to take the Raiders, and I know that I'm dumb, so I just flip it on myself.

The Dolphins will cover -6 against the Jets

I think we're going with the real Mr. Fourth Quarter. The Cuddy Buddy. Dolphins minus six [against the Jets].

The Bills will cover +3 as home dogs against the Broncos

I'll give you a home dog to keep your eye on... The Bills plus three against the Broncos. Trevor Siemian on the road. Do we trust him?

Kyrie Irving requested a trade because he didn't want to be left in Cleveland when LeBron leaves for L.A. next year

My theory is that Kyrie basically said LeBron's going to go to L.A. next year, and I don't want him to basically control my destiny, where it's like, if I have a chance to get to a team that can compete right now, instead of being left in Cleveland when LeBron bolts in a year... I don't want to have that happen to me.

I want to play one more NBA season after the 2017-18 season

God willing, body willing, I would like to play one more season after this one coming up.

Week 3 is the week we officially find out which NFL teams are frauds

There's a lot of frauds. And week three is who we find out. That's when we know who the frauds are.

The Giants will win Monday Night Football against the Lions by a score of 12-10

And now all we get is Lions and the Giants. And the Giants, Eli's going to fucking throw the ball into the ground 100 times. And the Giants are going to win like 12 to 10.

Kyle Shanahan is the most likely coach to be the first one ejected under new NFL rules

I think a sneaky one is Kyle Shanahan because, one, he's a dick. Number two, he's got that entitlement thing, or at least the refs will think he's got that entitlement thing. So if he says one thing that crosses the line, they'll be like, I'm going to teach you a lesson.

The Bengals are the most likely 0-2 team to turn it around and make the playoffs

Out of those, I would say the Bengals... If they get Kaepernick, then put the Bengals in.

Teddy Bridgewater will play for the Vikings before the 2017 season ends

I don't know what in the hell they're expecting at this point. So I think, yeah, we'll see Bridgewater before the end of the year on the field.

J.J. Watt will catch at least two touchdowns against the Bengals

My prediction is J.J. Watt scores two touchdowns because the Texans have three tight ends that all have concussions. So J.J. Watt's going to catch some balls tonight.

The Saints will cover the spread (+7) against the Patriots

I have the New Orleans Saints covering at plus seven against the New England Patriots. That's a lot of points to give up at home in the Bayou.

The Bears will cover the spread (+7) against the Buccaneers in the Mike Glennon revenge game

My pick is the Chicago Bears, plus seven. The Mike Glennon revenge game. He's going to Tampa Bay. How can you not?

I want to win championships on the blind PGA Tour

I want to see how far I can go with playing golf, and I definitely want to try to continue to pursue that goal. And I want to—there's a blind, actually, like sort of a blind PGA, so I want to go win some championships on that.

Starting Deshaun Watson now will ruin him because the Texans' offensive line is terrible

It's also the most perfect Houston Texans thing of all time to wait to play your good quarterback [Watson] right when the offensive line is at its absolute worst. Yeah, ruin your franchise quarterback. This is going to be perfect because it's almost like an inside job. The timing is a little bit too convenient. So what's going to happen is Deshaun's going to go out there, get fucking killed, and not look good, and then O'Brien's going to be like, I told you, you can't start a rookie.

The Patriots will finish 12-4 or 11-5 and win the AFC East

I'm going to be honest. I'm going to go out on a limb. I'm going to say the Pats will be 12-4 or 11-5 and win the division.

The Super Bowl will feature the Patriots against either the Falcons or the Packers

I'm going Patriots on the AFC. They will play—they're going to play either the Falcons or the Packers.