Takes

Jeff Fisher is finished as an NFL head coach but could bamboozle another owner into an interview

Guy's very connected at the league level. He's got good friends in the league office. He's a made man. He knows how to work the media. I think at some point he'll find a way where he at least gets an interview. And if he gets an interview with one of these guys... he could bamboozle someone into hiring him.

I'm taking the Falcons over the Seahawks because this is Matt Ryan's MVP year

I'm taking the Falcons. I'm laying the points. This is Matt Ryan's year. High-flying offense. Matt Ryan, MVP guy. His year.

I'm taking the Packers over the Cowboys because Aaron Rodgers is going to be motivated by how much Dak Prescott loves his family

I'm taking the Packers... But if you read the USA Today article about Dak Prescott... it was him talking about his family. ... He loves his family. ... That is bulletin board material for Aaron Rodgers, right? Oh, Mr. Big Shot with the family. Oh, you talk to the family? ... That's going to piss Aaron Rodgers right off.

Conor McGregor has zero chance of beating Floyd Mayweather in a boxing match

Floyd wants an easy $100 million check. ... Conor McGregor versus Floyd Mayweather, I think it's going to happen. ... [Conor has] 1,000% no chance at all. Floyd wouldn't last 30 seconds [in MMA]... Floyd will last a minute because he'd run for 30 seconds.

Alabama will vote Democrat in the next election because of the football loss

Fair or not, Nick Saban hasn't won a national title since Trump got elected... as we've learned, could be some funny business if your team doesn't do so well in Alabama. Therefore, look for Alabama to vote Democrat next election cycle.

Tiger Woods is officially back

I think he's back. Actually, being that I practiced with him and play with him before and before the Ryder Cup and leading up to the Bahamas, he kept looking better and better.

David Ortiz will return to the MLB in the summer of 2017

I agree with Hank. What do you think? Like mid season? You think he's going to come for the whole season? Summer. He'll take the cold months off and come back.

The Divisional Round of the NFL playoffs is going to be a 'tits party'

Preemptive who's back next week, because if you saw the matchups, it is going to be a tits party next Saturday and Sunday.

Lane Kiffin is toxic and will never get hired by another school that matters

I argued in favor of Kiffin for a long time. I really liked him. But in being down at the national championship and being with all the people that matter in college athletics, he's even more toxic today than he was a year ago because of this incident. I don't think anyone else will hire him. He would have to upset somebody of epic proportion to get on a radar screen of a school that really mattered.

Alabama will win the National Championship against Clemson

But I like Alabama. And the reason I like Alabama, and don't laugh, I've picked Alabama in every single game since the Iron Bowl in 2010... and that doesn't make me a homer. It just makes me smart.

I would bet against Michigan making the College Football Playoff in the near future

I wouldn't lock that down. I mean, it's possible, but I'm not going to be one of these, well, anything's possible. Well, not really. I would probably bet against Michigan [making the final four].

Alabama will win and cover the 6.5 point spread against Clemson

Six and a half is the spread. I'm going with Paul. Going Alabama.

Clemson will win the National Championship against Alabama

Clemson.

Coach K gave Jeff Capel the Duke team as a tryout to become the future head coach

Um, that K, this whole Capel thing is a tryout for Capel because K wants Capel to get the job after he leaves. So this is, this is not actually like a, his back doesn't hurt. He's just saying, here you go, Capel. I'm going to give you the most talented team, maybe in college basketball history... prove to everyone that you're a great coach. And then that way, when I retire, you can be like, 'Hey, remember that time that I took 12 McDonald's All-Americans to a 4-0 record?'

Bill Belichick and Tom Brady will retire together in a 2019 suicide pact

They're going to retire simultaneously. They might do a Romeo and Juliet-like suicide pact. Here's my prediction, okay? 2019, they both kill themselves and retire at the same time.

The Chicago Bears will win the Super Bowl next year

Alshon Jeffrey guaranteed a Super Bowl victory. So you get one year now, a little more than one year, 13 months. Go ahead and keep doubting. He guaranteed it. He guaranteed the Chicago Bears win the Super Bowl next year.

The Patriots will walk right to the Super Bowl

The AFC playoff picture is awful. The Patriots are going to walk right to the Super Bowl.

Chip Kelly will be the offensive coordinator for LSU

I'm just going to put this out here. Chip Kelly to LSU. Offense coordinator? I'm just saying, Chip Kelly to LSU, even though him and Coach O, they don't speak the same language.

Danny Woodhead will join the Patriots to mentor Christian McCaffrey

Until the end of the league year, [Danny Woodhead] is still a Charger. And then he'll be a Patriot where he'll mentor Christian McCaffrey.

The Cubs will win a World Series before the Knicks win an NBA championship

Of course the Cubs are going to win one before the Knicks. No, I'm not saying it's this year, but here's the answer to your question straight up. As long as James Dolan is the owner of the Knicks, the Knicks aren't winning shit.

The Giants will beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl again this year

We also correctly predicted, I think, that they're [the Giants] going to beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl again this year. Oh. So pat ourselves on the back for that.

Bet the Under on the first three NBA games on Christmas Day

So everyone remember, Christmas Day, my theory, the Unders in the NBA, if you bet the first three Unders, I think you've won every year in the last decade... The teams are going to take a little too long, eat a little food. It's only for the first three games, though.

Tom Savage is a one-week wonder

I think Tom Savage is a one-week wonder.

There is a substantial chance the Raiders move to Las Vegas

I certainly think there's a substantial chance that they do, but the end of that story is not yet written... the team seems very, very committed to leaving Oakland.

Jeff Fisher will become a VP of Football Operations for a moving team

I think we called it he's going to be vice president of football operations somewhere. ... For maybe when the Chargers move. ... The Chargers fire McCoy. They hire Fisher to handle the logistics and the move.

Kyle Shanahan will get a head coaching job and Mike Shanahan will be his consultant

I think what will happen is his son, Kyle Shanahan, will get a coaching job somewhere, and he'll go with Kyle to be a consultant.

Rex Ryan will get another head coaching job

I think that he's going to get another head coaching job. I think he could go to Jacksonville. Oh, can you imagine Rex in L.A.?

Everyone should bet the over on the Boca Raton Bowl

Also, let's all bet the over for fun. Just together... Yeah, we're going to hammer the over. Hammer it. Big time.

The Washington Capitals will definitely win the Stanley Cup this season

This is definitely the capital season to win the Stanley Cup... No, this is the one. This is the one. This is the one.

Roger Goodell will change the overtime rules this offseason to eliminate all ties

Roger Goodell's going to change the overtime rules this offseason, so eliminating all ties, and then he's going to say that he saved the NFL yet again.

Jeff Fisher would have broken the all-time loss record if he hadn't been fired

[Speaking of the all-time loss record] Absolutely. He was [going to get it].

The punter 'hype bubble' will crash within two weeks

I feel like with those three guys [Hecker, McAfee, King], we're entering a punt bubble. It's unsustainable. Punters can't continue to be cool for the next three weeks. There's got to be a crash in there somewhere. So I'm predicting a punter's going to look really uncool... I'm going to go way out on a limb and say that a punter's going to do something dorky in the next couple weeks.

Aaron Rodgers is officially back and the Packers are the team nobody wants to play in January

[Aaron Rodgers] did his whole thing where everyone talked about how [he] was awful, and then he's rattled off three games that have been great, and the Packers are right back in the thick of things, and they are officially the don't-want-to-play-these-guys-in-January team.

The Detroit Lions are in trouble because Matthew Stafford's finger injury is a season-killer

The Lions are back because something really good happened to them today, and they're in the catbird seat of the NFC North. But then in a win, they also got really bad news as Matthew Stafford dislocated his middle finger on his throwing hand and severed a bunch of ligaments. So they're kind of fucked.

RG3 will bring the Browns to the promised land

I got the Browns, RG3, bringing them to promised land.

RG3 will dislocate his pelvis on Sunday

I'm going to go injured. I think he dislocates the pelvis. It's the big one. It's like the San Andreas quake. A lot of tremors the last few years.

Bill Belichick will draft Christian McCaffrey next year

It's reached a point where I'm going to go to Vegas and put $100 on Belichick drafting Christian McCaffrey next year. And it's going to be the easiest money that I ever made.

Bryce Harper will eventually sign with the New York Yankees

Bryce Harper is going to look great in pinstripes. ... If you look back over the course of history, this is the biggest prediction that everybody will get right.

The Red Sox championship window is currently two to three years

Yeah, it's like two or three years. ... Luckily, their third best pitcher [Rick Porcello] just won the Cy Young.

Ryan Fitzpatrick will spend the next ten years as a premier NFL backup

He's got another 10 years in this league as a backup. ... You get your name out there as a starter for four games. Little film. All of a sudden... You're one of the premier backups in the league.

Conor McGregor would be soundly defeated and unable to land a punch on Floyd Mayweather in a boxing match

I think Conor McGregor, if he had to box Floyd Mayweather in actual boxing rules, he would get beat so soundly, and he would not be able to touch Floyd Mayweather.

Jeff Fisher's record for most losses in NFL history will never be broken

Jeff Fisher's losingest head coach in NFL history might be the untouchable record. ... Because they fire coaches now instantly. If you lose, you get two years max. There's no chance.

My College Football Playoff final four includes Western Michigan

My Final Four, by the way, I don't know if you guys care about it, but it has Clemson, Ohio State, Washington, Western Michigan. And we're just going to give the title to Alabama.

The popcorn debate will be featured on Mike and Mike within two weeks

I'm going to call my shot. The popcorn debate is going to be featured on Mike and Mike within the next two weeks. Anytime you can introduce a bracket, it's going to do wonders for water cooler talk.

Neither Penn State nor Wisconsin will make the College Football Playoff

No, neither team is going to get in [to the Final Four]. And the committee, let me tell you how this works... they wouldn't have put Michigan at number five if they really were anticipating putting the winner of this game in.

Penn State will win the Big Ten Championship game

I like Penn State. I know you didn't ask me, but I'm going to go on the record and say Penn State, and then nothing else changes in the Final Four.

Tiger Woods will never again look like his old self for four straight days at the highest level

Show me Tiger Woods four days in a row at the highest level. Not going to happen. Not going to happen. Not going to happen.

This week in the NFL will be a 'wonky' week where crazy things happen

I think there's gonna be a wonky week. It's one of those weeks where it's just like crazy things happen I just have a feeling... I just I feel like this is gonna be a wonky week.

Vegas is going to make a huge profit in Week 13 at the expense of home underdogs

This is the week that Vegas really sticks it to people. And I think that it's going to come at the expense of a lot of home dogs.

Rob Gronkowski might retire at 69 touchdowns just for the joke

Rob Gronkowski might retire just for the joke... No, but it's like a destiny thing. It really is a destiny thing. I don't think he wants to retire, but it's written in the stars.