Takes

CJ Stroud needs to throw a reckless triple-coverage interception to be a true gunslinger

I'd like him to just throw a ball that, you know, there's no chance it's gonna be completed... he needs to throw a reckless interception. Like triple coverage. Just trying to do it all in arm strength.

It is 'loser shit' to ban the Brotherly Shove just because defenses can't stop it

The NFL actually might stop it... which is it's, that's loser shit right there. Listen, I'm saying this as a Commanders fan, as a division rival, it's loser shit to ban the brotherly shove because just 'cause you can't stop it doesn't mean that they shouldn't be able to do it.

Nathaniel Hackett did a better job coaching Zach Wilson than Sean Peyton did coaching Russell Wilson.

Nathaniel Hackett coached Zach Wilson and made him look better than Sean Peyton coached Russell Wilson and made him look. That's just a fact.

Zach Wilson is the third-best quarterback in the AFC East

I think objectively speaking, you can say that Zach Wilson is the third best quarterback in the AFC East. Big difference. Russell Wilson stinks and what we said, he looked okay the first four games, but he had to play a real defense for once.

Justin Ross could be the next breakout star for the Chiefs' wide receiver corps

Justin Ross had a great catch today. Incredible catch. He is. They're gonna unlock him at some point this year. You saw one great catch from him. He's a massive target... Justin Ross could be the next guy up for the Chiefs wide receiver corps.

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are going to break up soon

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift... we're gonna break up. Allegedly. She's gotta go back out on tour. Travis has got some rehabbing to do with the injury...

Brock Purdy is a top five quarterback in the NFL

My overly direct take... Brock Purdy this year is a top five quarterback in the NFL. I like it. Top five. I think he's number five in the NFL right now... If he gets to a Super Bowl, I'm gonna say it. Brock Purdy might be elite.

The Packers are going to kick the shit out of the Raiders on Monday night

My overly direct take is Monday Night Football. I hate betting on this team, but I think the Packers are gonna kick the shit outta the Raiders.

Mac Jones will be benched by Halloween

My overly direct take... is that Mac Jones will be benched before Halloween. Just benched. For Bailey Zappy maybe.

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

I've got the B's avalanche. I'll go with you on the Avalanche Hank. I've got back to back. [Vegas] I've got the avalanche.

Miami's loss to Georgia Tech is the literal worst loss of all time.

Miami maybe the worst loss of all time. The literal worst loss of all time. Mario Cristobal with 35 seconds left, ran the ball instead of kneeing the ball. ... Incomprehensible.

Ron Rivera should never be called 'Riverboat Ron' again

Ron Rivera just kicked another field goal. The Bears have won. He loves field goals. That guy loves field goals, so we should never ever call him riverboat Ron again after this game and the game against the Eagles, he's, he's lost riverboat Ron. He's no longer riverboat. Ron.

Justin Fields is a good quarterback and I was right for not wavering on him

I'm oh, I'm thinking Justin Fields is a good quarterback. I was right about that. Credit to me for not wavering on that take.

The Bears are going to go 4-1 over their next five games

I did look at the schedule coming up and I've convinced myself they could potentially go four and one in the next five... Vikings, Raiders, chargers, saints, Panthers. And I was like, that could be four and one.

The Phillies home environment is unlike anything else in professional sports

I stand by it. I mean, I'm not the only one who's been saying... like, that video of the crowd singing Bryson Stott's walk-up song as he walks to the plate and then five seconds later hitting a grand slam is like one of the coolest sports videos of the year.

If the Giants and Dolphins game had better weather, I'd bet the over 48.5

I love the over in this game, just because I don't know if the Giants, the Giants have played really good defenses, by the way... I think it's a bounce back game for the Dolphins.

The Lions offense is about to explode and I'm calling a 45-point performance this week

I think the Lion's offense is about to explode. I think we're on explode Watch. I'm gonna call a 45 burger this week. I'm taking it.

Brock Purdy is an MVP candidate

Should we be talking about Brock Purdy MVP Watch? If you look at his stats right now, Brock Purdy has MVP level stats right now. That's all I'm saying. He's the number one quarterback in the entire NFL in yards per attempt.

I've launched a nuclear missile bet on the Rams season win total over 7.5

I've launched a nuclear missile on the Rams season win total. It's over seven and a half right now... They've got two wins already. They play a lot of winnable games for the remainder of the year. It was minus one 14. It's my biggest bet of the season so far.

Russell Wilson has only looked better because he's played terrible defenses

Is there a chance that Russell Wilson, he's looked better, but he has not played a good defense? ...he played the Raiders, bad defense. Commanders, bad defense. He played the Dolphins, bad defense. And then last week they played the Bears, the worst defense. So is there a chance that we see bad Russ here against the Jets defense?

The Chiefs and Vikings game will be a four-touchdown 'get right' game for Patrick Mahomes

I'm saying there's a get right game for Patrick Mahomes. ...The Vikings defense is trashed. They don't really pressure the quarterback. This is a Mahomes four touchdown game.

Daniel Jones is not a franchise quarterback for the Giants

Eli [Manning] had a fucking arm. What are you talking about comparing Daniel Jones? Jones actually plays like the way racists talk about black quarterbacks. All he can do is run... I have a hard time watching Daniel Jones. He was at the Comedy Cellar one night and I was like, I don't even care. That's a bad level that he's my starting quarterback.

Giannis Antetokounmpo will eventually play for the Knicks

I still think Giannis is gonna end up on the Knicks... I asked him, because Giannis after the benefit was like, 'You a Bucks fan?' I was like, 'Fuck the Bucks, I'm a Knicks fan.' ...He goes, 'Well you never know where I end up next free agency.' and his brother kind of was like nodding. They wanna be in New York.

The New York Liberty will be the next New York team to win a championship

The honest question is probably the liberty. ...I love their team. I love Stewie and all I love the whole team. I think they could do it this year.

Making the playoffs and losing every game is the worst fate for a sports fan

I actually think that making the playoffs and losing every single game is the worst fate of any fan base. Like I would rather be the worst team and just be like, I can just erase it from my memory. Draft Picks, whatever you wanna sell yourself on getting, being good enough to get to the playoffs and then not winning a game For more than almost two decades. That is the worst.

I am predicting a Twins over Astros series win in the ALDS

Maybe I'll just be a Twins guy until Twins to, to win this series and then beat the Astros. That's what we should be a Twins over Astro podcast.

Playoff baseball at Citizens Bank Park is one of the hardest environments in all of professional sports

Playoff Baseball at the bank is one of the hardest environments in professional sports. It's different. It's different than any other stadium. I mean, you just see it, the feels different. It sounds different.

Booing doesn't work for baseball players because it's a game of confidence, but it works for football players

Baseball's a different sport. It's about confidence. Booing doesn't do anything for a Baseball player, for a football player. Getting booed gets a little driving, you get a little angry. You, you maybe get a little push on the guy next to you and Baseball. It's a mental game, it's a game of confidence.

Daniel Jones is officially 'Ass'

The official prognosis coming out of [Monday Night Football] is I think medically speaking, Daniel Jones's Ass.

Drew Lock will eventually make five Pro Bowls

I still believe in Drew Lock. I think I had a take that he would make five Pro Bowls on this show. So you're never wrong about a take until you give up on it. Let that be a lesson to the Giants fans out there. Yes. I still think Drew Lock could possibly make five Pro Bowls.

Michigan will win the National Championship this year

Michigan is winning the national championship. I I, I think they might and I'm hoping they do. So Jim Harbaugh will, will leave the college game. He's proven everything he has to prove.

The Texas Longhorns should be the number one team in the country

I actually think it should be the Texas Longhorns [at number one].

I want to see Michigan vs. Texas in the National Championship game

I want to see Michigan and Texas in the national championship. It would rule, I think that would be awesome to have a, a title game that doesn't have Alabama, Georgia, or Ohio State in it.

Georgia will lose at least one game this season

Alright, I'll, I'll go. They're [Georgia] gonna lose one game.

Brock Bowers should be a Heisman finalist if he continues carrying Georgia

I could see Brock Bowers winning the Heisman or at least being like a, a close finalist in the Heisman invited to New York... if like they keep barely winning games and they don't and he does it. They don't have anybody else that that's carrying the offense.

Lincoln Riley is committing coaching malpractice by never giving Caleb Williams a defense

I think the discussion is, is Lincoln Riley liable for malpractice for having one of the best college quarterbacks maybe of all time if he goes back to back Heisman and Caleb Williams and never having a defense behind him because that defense is so bad.

James Harden will do something so egregious that he ends up in jail by the end of the week

I think that James Harden will end up in jail by the end of this week. I think he's gonna do something. He's gonna do something so ridiculous that someone in the front office is gonna call the cops on him. Like I think he may just like show up on the court naked.

I won't believe the Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce relationship is real until I see 'p and v' proof

The Swifties are at my door... for a clip on Monday that I, I said that I wanted to see until I, until I saw actual p and v, the relationship was not real to me. If I don't see sex, I don't think anyone's relationship is real in the world.

The Paige Spiranac bobblehead night saved the Brewers' season

The Paige Spiranac Bobblehead completely turned around the Brewer's season... on June 16th, the Brewers hosted the Pirates... they were 34 and 34. They beat the Pirates that night... and they wound up winning the NL Central with a record of 92 and 70. And they were 58 and 36 after the Paige Spiranac Bobblehead night.

Trent Williams should be spoken of in the same manner as Aaron Donald

Trent Williams... is a cheat code for the Niners. Yeah, he should be spoken of in the same manner as Aaron Donald.

Soap doesn't actually work on your armpits

How come when you use soap, soap doesn't work on your armpits? Isn't that an interesting question? Take soap out of the equation. You're thinking about the soap. Take the soap out of the equation.

Taylor Swift probably thinks Zach Wilson is the greatest quarterback of all time

If Taylor Swift, this is her second football game she's ever been to know of, she probably thinks that Zach Wilson is the greatest quarterback of all time. 'Cause he is outplaying Patrick Mahomes.

Taylor Swift is a distraction for the Kansas City Chiefs

I think we need to have the conversation. Is Taylor Swift a distraction? I just love the word distraction because you can just throw it out there for anything. But I do think that if there was going to be a distraction, probably be like the most famous person in the world dating your tight end.

I will buy into every weird drug and science Aaron Rodgers does if he returns to play this season

If Aaron Rodgers plays football in this season, I will buy whatever drugs in every weird thing that he does immediately... I will, I will essentially just my entire life I'll be like, you know what? I was wrong. His science [might be right].

Desmond Ridder sucks

Desmond Ridder sucks. It's, it's the truth. Like the Falcons are built a certain way that you can't have a quarterback throw interceptions, and it is painful to watch their offense sometimes.

The Buffalo Bills' championship window is wide open

I think the Window's wide open. They've got, they've got like years of the window. They're, they're gonna be fine. Josh [Allen] will be fine. He stinks against the Jets. It was a shitty game. He played awful that game... the Bills are gonna get better.

The Commanders will win 10 games this season

I think, I think the Commanders will win 10 games this season. I think they're on track for 10. We, I would've liked to have this one [vs Eagles] going into Philly.

Joe Burrow is too injured to be playing right now and the Bengals should sit him

He's [Burrow] injured. He's very injured. He has sucked this year... He is a tough ass dude that has a lot of pride. But at some point, like maybe try to get healthy and, and sneak into a wild card spot because right now it doesn't look good... I would take the keys out of his hand.

The Bengals should start Jake Browning or AJ McCarron for a few games to let Joe Burrow's calf heal

I would take the keys out of his [Burrow's] hand. I would be like, 'Hey, just sit out for a little bit, man.' ... I would say star [Jake Browning] against the Cardinals. I would say star 'em against the Seahawks and then Joe back. ... AJ McCarron can beat the Cardinals. AJ McCarron is one of those guys.

Matt Eberflus is a bonehead and a bad coach

Matt Eberflus is the reason why the Bears lost. Matt Eberflus is a fucking bonehead idiot and a bad coach... He's not a head coach. He is an absolute cluster fuck... He has no idea how to answer questions. He has no idea how to deal with the locker room.