Takes

Silence is the most powerful tool a broadcaster has

I think so there have been times in my career, and that's 20 plus years ago, there are times in my career where you realize silence is the most powerful tool you have to let the natural sounds come over at television, which, you know, I think I've been pretty respectful of over the years.

I will likely never broadcast national baseball again

The National Baseball stuff, I don't see how that ever comes around again. Like I said, it just, you're gone, you're done. You're, it's, it's beyond, I, I think doing, and I, I got, you know, this got headlines click bait crap in the New York Post... but I don't see it anytime soon.

The Home Run Derby would be a better product if it were slowed down to allow viewers to follow the ball

I feel like the rapid fire... it's hard to piece together how many home runs the guys actually got because they're flying over and one hits the wall and you don't know which ball that hit the wall is connected to which swing. I think slowing it down... so you can actually follow the ball and know how many home runs the guy hit, that seems like a better use.

Patrick Mahomes is the nicest superstar athlete I have ever met

Patrick [Mahomes], who might be the nicest superstar athlete of anybody I've ever met, might handle [criticism] okay. I think some guys might get a little ticked off or perturbed, but not him.

Jordan Love is going to stink

He's gonna stink. So I I gotta warn you, Joe, I have, I, I'm moving into a new house soon and I have a bigger tv, So I am going to make the greatest big head Joe Buck pictures I've ever made.

If a player has a baby during an NFL week, they are guaranteed a touchdown

If a player has a baby during the week, if they become a dad during the week, if they're an offensive skill position player, they always get a touchdown. If it's a backup tight end, if it's like a, a number three wide receiver, just know that going into Monday at football, if they become a father that week, they're getting a fucking touchdown.

Blue raspberry is the best flavor of everything

[Blue raspberry] is like the best flavor of every cake. It is. Exactly. Everyone wants the blue raspberry. Like Jolly Rancher.

Without the blues, there would be no rock and roll

Without blues, there'd be no rock and roll. That's a fact. That's a stone cold fact.

Bluetooth is one of the greatest inventions of the modern era

Everyone in this room uses Bluetooth every single day. Probably one of the greatest inventions in the modern era.

Any side dish works with any main course

I don't believe in in Correct the idea that one type of meal, like if you order a steak, then mashed potatoes is the side to that. But if you order pasta, guess what? Mashed potatoes is a great side for pasta too... All sides. If you like a side it works with any main course that you also like.

Ordering delivery from two different places for the same meal makes you a 'fat ass'

I would order from both places for dinner. Yeah. And just do 'em... it would be like three entrees and an appetizer from two different places. Oh. For myself... I am a fat ass and you are a fat ass if you ordered delivery dinner from two different places at the same time.

If I start taking Ozempic, I am going to be completely open and transparent about it

If I start this Ozempic I'm going to tell everyone what... I feel like I'm the opposite of like all these Hollywood celebs who do it and don't say they do it and they're like, 'oh, I've just been working out.' If I start this Ozempic I'm going to tell everyone.

A $60 million fine will not teach Dan Snyder or other NFL owners a lesson

[Dan Snyder] is paying a 60 million fine on his way out the door... which hilariously reduces the value of the team to 5.9 billion. So that'll teach him a lesson. He only made 5.1 billion profit off this sale. So owners will think twice before fooling around with the books.

If I owned an NFL team, I would absolutely override my scouts to draft players based on 'vibes'

If I were, if I owned a team, I'd be like, you know, they'd have a draft board. I'd be like, no, that guy lost me money in a College Bowl game. That guy like, yeah, he's pretty sick. And I would definitely put my foot down and be like, I want that guy... understand I watched him once and it was awesome.

Jim Irsay is a hero for being the NFL owner who finally catalyzed the removal of Dan Snyder

Major shout out to Jim Irsay because who would've ever thought that Jim Irsay would've been the one that got this ball rolling when he sat in the golf cart smoking a cigarette outside the owner's meeting saying, 'I think the time has come to do something about Dan Snyder.' ... He's a hero. Thank you sir.

The Colts' new 'Indiana Nights' uniforms are the ugliest in the NFL

The Colts' new uniforms today... it's hard to fuck up a uniform release. The Colts did it. They are the ugliest uniforms. I mean, good try guys, but they look like cops.

I love golf courses that make pro golfers look as unathletic as regular people

I just love a course that makes everyone look at moments like they're us out there. Wyndham Clark had one of the most unathletic swings I've ever seen in my life... I bravo. Good job [Royal Liverpool].

The fix for bad golf coverage is simply showing every single shot live

The way to fix golf coverage, it's pretty easy. You just show every fucking shot... And it live. And then have like a sponsor have like a Rolex logo in the bottom right hand corner. Yeah. Boom.

Offensive line culture requires 'weird fat guy' behavior to build a good team

Offensive linemen just have a different culture... you need weird fat guy shit to make your team good.

Modern fans don't care about Marshall Faulk because he is overshadowed by better players

Marshall Faulk was not a—no one gives a fuck about Marshall Faulk. I'm sorry. Besides you guys. His name gets overshadowed by like, so much better players. If you throw a Christian McCaffrey in there, that's more of a spike for like modern fans.

Who even remembers Johnny Unitas anymore?

Does anyone remember Johnny Unitas? They do but like, not as a great... Who the fuck's Johnny Unitas?

Men evolved beards as a form of physical armor to protect their throats in combat

I actually read this crazy thing that men developed beards because it prevented them from getting their throat slashed in combat. It was an extra like thing of Armor.

Carson Wentz still has the talent to make a successful NFL comeback

I still believe in [Carson Wentz]. Somebody's gonna pick him up and he's gonna come back. He's gonna do it.

Dirt bikes are the only effective way to escape Los Angeles when society collapses

If something goes sideways in LA and there's riots in the streets... you only have the freeways out and those can lock down quickly. So how do you get out? Well, dirt bikes. Dirt bikes is the answer.

The Vikings' current O'Connell and Flores regime is capable of winning a Super Bowl

I feel like O'Connell's got the goods, our head coach. Flores, I think, I feel like this is, this is the regime that could do it [win a Super Bowl].

Justin Fields predicting he will throw for 4,000 yards in 2023 will only lead to more Bears fan misery

Justin Fields said he's gonna throw over 4,000 yards this year. And then it just triggered the reaction online being like, 'Oh my God, the Bears have never had a 4,000 yard passer.' And also if he doesn't throw over 4,000 yards this year, then it's gonna be like, oh, they still don't. So that sucked.

Staying in an ADA-compliant apartment as an able-bodied person is selfish

I'm just uncomfortable staying here [in an ADA-compliant apartment] where someone else who might need it more [could live]... I view it in the perspective like PFT said, I'm taking the space right now of someone who needs it more.

Running backs should not be eligible for the NFL Draft and should be free agents immediately

Running Backs should not be eligible to be drafted. Make them, let them be free agents. Because it is just a matter of fact that running Backs, they wear down faster. That's just the nature of the position. Why don't we let running Backs just be free agents right away?

The NFL should remove the franchise tag for the running back position

It would probably be a little bit easier if there was just no franchise tag for running back. You can use it on anybody else... but if there's a running back, you can't tag 'em. So they play their first contract, then there will be an actual bidding war for their services.

Shohei Ohtani's viral bat flip against the Yankees was awkward and forced

I'll stand by this take. I didn't think it was a good flip. He looked awkward. It looked like an awkward bat flip. Everyone was freaking out about it. I thought he looked awkward. It didn't look natural. It looked like he forced that bat flip.

The city of Philadelphia will never win a championship in any sport ever again

My Cool Throne is the city of Philadelphia never winning anything ever. Joel Embiid, our prince... made comments the other day that he wants to win a Championship in Philadelphia or anywhere else... It seems like if he doesn't win this year in Philly, he's probably out.

I am officially coming out of the closet as a Kirk Cousins fan

I'm coming out of the closet as a Kirk Cousins fan. I've buried it so deep that I overcompensated for loving Kirk Cousins by hating him so much these last few years. I love Kirk Cousins as a person. One of the greatest dudes, hard not to root for.

Bill Belichick is officially on the hot seat with the New England Patriots

My Hot Seat is Bill Belichick. Literally. There's a report out... from Tom Curran... he said 'You talk about avoiding the Hot Seat Rich, he's on the Hot Seat and he's been there at different levels of warmth since 2019.'

Almost every NFL team would immediately fire their coach to hire Bill Belichick if he became available

How many teams currently would fire their coach to hire Bill Belichick? Everyone would love him. It would be everyone but maybe the Chiefs and the 49ers. It can't be more than like five teams total that wouldn't fire their current coach... that's why you don't fire Bill Belichick. He would get a job instantly.

The 'horns down' gesture is officially back and allowed in the SEC

You can use horns down because according to John McDade, the SEC's coordinator of officials on penalizing for horns down signal in '24... he said that you can use horns down against Texas.

LIV Golf players sold their souls and should be shunned by golf fans

I hope everybody in LIV dies in a fiery boat accident. I hate LIV, I hate the whole idea. But imagine you guys, if they took half the NFL and said, 'hey, half the teams are gonna move to Saudi Arabia, we're gonna pay 'em five times what they're worth'... That's what happened to my sport... Tiger didn't [take the money]. And so I love Tiger for that.

The Saudis do not care about golf and are only using it to sports wash their image

Do you know how many golf courses Saudi Arabia has? They got nine. They don't care about golf. They're trying to sports wash their image.

Russell Wilson is spent as an elite quarterback

I kind of think Russell [Wilson] is spent. And also could you not take yourself so seriously? ... Russell's not, I don't know what he thinks he's gonna be ambassador to Sweden or something. He's gonna be the governor of Colorado. I don't know what he thinks, but he's not being a regular guy.

The David Montgomery run against the Packers is the greatest highlight in football history

If we did a Mount Rushmore of legendary runs, that [David Montgomery run] is number one. We'll always have 'the run'. It's number one.

The Masters is the best major, but the American Century celebrity tournament is second

I'd go Masters still first. I'd go American Century second. I have Steph Curry this week to finish top 10... A good British Open is like tied second with a Ryder Cup for me. But I would say Masters first no matter what.

Brooks Koepka at 18-to-1 is the best value to win the Open Championship

I like Brooks [Koepka] a lot this week. Whenever we go into these majors, he's right there with the top three or four guys... except he's whatever, 18 to one. And you've got Rory... at plus six 50. I'm taking Brooks Koepka, I watched his presser, he seemed incredibly confident.

If a golfer goes 10 years without a major title, they should lose one existing major for every additional year they go winless

PFT: If [Rory] doesn't win in a 10 year span, he goes back to never having won a major. Kirk: I would say, yeah, my argument would be he take one away for every year [past] 10. It's now 10 years since this guy won a major Championship.

Rory McIlroy will not win the 2023 Open Championship because he won't win two weeks in a row

I don't like that Rory [McIlroy] won last week. That gives me bad vibes back to back. I don't think he's gonna win two weeks in a row. I kind of wish he had lost.

LeBron James' non-retirement announcement was a calculated move to dominate a slow news cycle

I think [LeBron James] planned this out just because he was like, 'You know what? I wanna make a splash at the ESPYs this year. How can I do that? Okay, I'll tease it. I'm gonna retire after getting swept by the Denver Nuggets. And then, in early July when nobody's paying attention to sports, I'm gonna dominate the news cycle.'

Rory McIlroy will miss the cut at the Open Championship because it's 'too much of a storybook ending'

I have a hot take. I think [Rory McIlroy] is gonna miss the cut. Yeah, I think everything, because the last time they played here was the last time he won a major. He's been playing good golf. He won this weekend. Everyone—it's almost too much of a storybook ending and I think he's just gonna come out and blow up.

DeAndre Hopkins chose money over winning by signing with the Titans

Way to take the air out of it. If [DeAndre Hopkins] had been added to a Chiefs and Eagles—one of these Niners—one of these teams that's competing for Super Bowl... he's going the Titans. Everyone's like, 'Okay, cool.' I guess it's good for the Titans, but I feel like the Titans are in a weird transition period right now... Money is always, I don't know what everyone else was offering him, but it's nice to say 'I want to go compete for a ring,' but if the Titans offered him 12 and everyone else was offering him five, 7 million is probably nice too.

DeAndre Hopkins picking the Titans is a direct 'ricochet shot' at the Patriots and Mac Jones

This is an ultimate ricochet shot at the entire Patriots organization too. When those are his three criteria and he's like, 'I wanna play for a good quarterback,' and he picks Ryan Tannehill over Mac Jones.

Alcaraz's majors are 'Mickey Mouse majors' compared to Djokovic's era, but I am still an Alcaraz fan

[Djokovic] had to go against Roger [Federer] and Rafa [Nadal] and won all those. So Alcaraz is going to win Mickey Mouse majors. That's fine... I'm an Alcaraz fan now. Not as big of a Djokovic, but I'm an Alcaraz fan as well.

Aaron Rodgers will have an incredible year with the Jets

I think Aaron Rodgers is gonna have an incredible year. I've become—the script has been flipped on me where I'm now defending Aaron Rodgers, the player, publicly and it feels dirty. But I also, I want—I don't want him to fall off when he's gone. That would suck for me. I want him to be really good.

Aaron Rodgers is immune to the New York media circus

Aaron Rodgers is immune to the media circus. He's got natural immunity to the New York media.