Takes

If you get Patrick Mahomes pissed off on the sidelines, the game is over

If you get Patrick Mahomes pissed off on the sidelines, you're fucked. And he was out there, he was doing the like, 'I'm him' ... he was mad and he was, 'I'm here.'

The Raiders are much better than the Denver Broncos

Even though they're what, one and four? Yeah. I still think [the Raiders] are a much better team than the Denver Broncos.

The Phillies are the wildcard team getting hot at the right time

It's like the wildcard team that's getting hot right at the right time. Everyone seems loose. They're having fun. [Kyle] Schwarber is a fucking beast.

Every baseball fan in America should be rooting for the Mariners in the playoffs

I think we, we said this on Sunday, but everyone in America should be rooting for the Mariners.

I'm betting the Tennessee money line against Alabama

I'm going money line on Tennessee. Yeah. I like, I think this Tennessee [team], well it depends on if what's his name, [Cedric] Tillman's back.

Utah will demolish USC in their upcoming matchup

Utah's going to demolish USC. How you say that? That's just candy ass football versus man football.

Nick Saban is going to coach Alabama forever

[Nick Saban] is gonna be there forever. He's probably not gonna die ever. He's probably like, he's gonna be like Ted Williams' head just frozen inside somebody else's body playing call plays there for the next 25 years.

I am getting hair plugs to combat my balding

I'm gonna go one way or the other. I don't wanna stay where I'm at right now. I'm in no man's land... All right. I'm gonna get hair plugs.

Ben Simmons should stop shooting because every miss becomes a viral mockery

I now am starting to understand why Ben Simmons just doesn't shoot because he, he can't shoot. And every time he does shoot it becomes a viral moment... why would I shoot when I know that it's not gonna go in and people are gonna roast [me]?

The Jaguars were robbed of a Super Bowl appearance in 2017 and should have played the Eagles

We've been talking a lot about how badly you guys got screwed over in that game in New England. You should have been in the Super Bowl to my dying breath. I will say the Jacksonville, Jaguar should have been in that Super Bowl against the Eagles.

Chris Simms is one of the people in sports media who hated me most

If there was one person that, that I don't even know, you know, who hated me... I would imagine like if you asked him, he would be like, 'Yeah, that guy sucked' was Chris Simms. [Simms] hated me. I saw, showed he me a list one time he ranked me as like the 47th best quarterback in the nfl and I was starting in Jacksonville.

Trevor Lawrence sucks at throwing the deep ball

I don't think [Trevor Lawrence] sucks, but he definitely sucks throwing the deep ball, which makes him suck. And they don't really have anybody to catch it either... some of the throws that he's made when people are wide open... he just can't make 'em.

Justin Tucker and Evan McPherson are the two best kickers in the NFL

Really what this game is, it's a battle between the two best kickers in the NFL. Justin Tucker and Evan McPherson just sort of like flexing at each other. They're doing almost ballet style poses after they drill a 60 yard field goal.

Brian Daboll is a fantastic head coach

Brian Daboll is a fucking awesome coach. I'm gonna say he is a Hoss, he's awesome. I like his entire coaching staff actually like Wink Martindale. No one thought the Giants were gonna be four and one.

The Giants are a legitimately good football team, not a fluke

I know that the Giants are a legitimately good team. They're like a well coached team right now. They're not the most talented team, but I'm not even gonna have the discussion of whether they're like one of the worst four and one teams of all time because they're just a good four and one team.

Daniel Jones might play himself into a contract extension

The Giants are essentially saying Daniel Jones isn't the guy. So we're gonna just basically say we don't really care about his long term health. We'll run him all the time, but he might just be such a gamer that he just runs himself into a contract extension where he's like, Hey you basically said we'll waste his health to try to eek out a few wins and now he's just winning while injured.

London is capable of supporting two NFL franchises right now

Roger Goodell said that he thinks that England is able to support not just one but two franchises right now. So we're gonna do the LA model. It's gonna happen in London. It is gonna happen.

The Browns are now officially 'the Chargers'

I think that the Browns are the Chargers. The Browns have taken the Chargers label from the Chargers. They're the most Chargers team in the NFL taking that crown from I guess the Chargers.

A coach should be fired once they've clearly hit their peak and started declining

The rule for like cleaning the entire house is you have to, if you can sit there and be like, have we hit our peak? And [the Commanders] covering the spread against the Bucs in the playoffs was your peak. That was absolutely. But when you can, when you can actually say you can point to it, you're like, that was the peak and it's been all downhill from that point. That's fire the coach time.

I would draft Justin Tucker in the first round of an NFL draft

If you were drafting a team right now... first rounder. Justin Tucker. He's fucking good man. He's a weapon. I think I would take Justin Tucker in the first rounder.

Russell Wilson was a system quarterback and Pete Carroll fleeced the Broncos

I think it's fair to say at this point that Russell Wilson might have been a system quarterback. Because Geno Smith right now, if we're grading who won that trade? Pete Carroll is doing the monopoly man's strut and he is like, Yeah, fucking fleece. The Broncos got fleeced, he got rid of Russell Wilson. Like he was bad penny.

The NFL's new 'wobble rule' will lead to players staying on the ground to avoid being spotted

This is so classic NFL because now every single coach is gonna teach their players: Just stay down for an extra second. Get yourself together and then stand up or have a lineman that goes and picks them up and like holds them for a second so they can't visible wobble.

I could be a successful NFL coach by 'coaching on vibes'

In my head, everyone's like, thing is so crazy. Why don't we just go for 10 points? Because then they can't beat us with a touchdown and a field goal. If we were rolling we should just keep rolling. [Big Cat: Billy would always coach on vibes].

The Patriots will make the playoffs if they keep wearing their throwback jerseys

If they wore those jerseys [Pat Patriot throwbacks], they make the playoffs here. [Big Cat: The logo in the center of the field, the jerseys pop, the helmets pop. Bailey Zappy pops].

The Dan Campbell era of 'moral victories' is effectively over

I think that Dan Campbell thing is done. I think it's done. I feel like I've seen the same thing you were saying. They're the most fun team with football. They're fun, but that doesn't mean the coach is good. They make self-inflicted errors every week.

The NFC East is the best division in all of sports

The NFC Beast is back. The beast is fucking back. The best division in sports. 16 and four in all of sports, not just football. The NFC East is the best division in professional, collegiate, international sports. Better than CONCACAF. It's the best division there is.

I prefer Bailey Zappy over Mac Jones right now

Currently? As it stands right now? [PFT: Zappy meal or Big Mac?] I, I gimme Zappy meal. Flavor of the week is Bailey Zappy. I'm eating.

Justin Fields will have at least 17 completions against the Commanders

Justin Fields is gonna have 17 completions plus. [PFT: 17 with the overall there?] 17 plus. [Big Cat: That's an insane game].

The roughing the passer call against Tom Brady was the worst call in NFL history

I think that roughing the passer call sucked. Do you think that was the worst call in NFL history? I think it might be the worst call in NFL history.

Tom Brady is the only quarterback who is uniquely successful when attempting 50+ passes

Tom Brady today had more than 50 pass attempts. He now has 23 wins, both regular season and playoffs in which he has attempted more than 50 passes. Tom Brady is 23 and 12 when he has over 50 pass attempts. Peyton's four and 13, Rogers is three and six, Brees is four and 15, Roethlisberger four and 11, Marino five and 11. Basically everyone sucks when they have to pass over 50 times. Tom Brady is 23 and 12. The next best is five.

Matt Rhule should take a college job immediately to save his buyout

Gotta end it. Matt Rhule can't sustain more blowout losses. Get that buyout less, let him get a job in college. This relationship... it's crescendoing to that loss. And this one... they did it all.

Jimmy Garoppolo is simply a winner

Is it time for us to be talking about how Jimmy G is just a winner? He wins football games. He beat the Rams. Jimmy G got that win. He beat the Panthers. That's another win for Jimmy G.

DeMeco Ryans will be a top-tier head coach within three years

DeMeco Ryans will be coaching in a playoff game within three years of getting a job. I'm going to double stamp it and I'll go one further. He will be way, way, way, way, way above average head coach.

The Rams are no longer a Super Bowl team

Panic button. I'm pressing the panic button. I'm saying panic button because they have, they're the Super Bowl champs. They want to go back to the Super Bowl. I think they probably still go to the playoffs. But panic button. This isn't a Super Bowl team.

Kyler Murray has zero situational awareness

Kyler Murray situational awareness 0.0. He slide canceled... he starts his slide like two yards before the sticks. It's crazy. And then gets up and thinks that you had it first down. He slide canceled if you're gonna put it in Call of Duty terms.

You should never trust a muscular kicker; they must be 'little nerds'

You do not want to have a jacked kicker on your team. It's hiring a skinny chef. You want your kicker to be a little fucking nerd. [Matt Ammendola] is just the biceps a little bit. Nobody wants to see that. You want him to be really skinny and just have a big fucking leg.

Jalen Hurts will be a high-quality starting quarterback for a long time

Can someone explain to me exactly how Jalen Hurts improved so much? Because he's awesome now. I'm a full on believer that Jalen Hurts is gonna be a good quarterback for a long time.

NFL teams should use the quarterback sneak on every single short-yardage situation

I think that as dumb asses, we're actually way smarter when it comes to things like the quarterback sneak. Don't overthink it. Teams should always run quarterback sneaks on fourth and one or third in one or second in one. They should do it every single time.

The Warriors will struggle to recover from the Draymond Green punch video

I don't know though. I think this is something that it's gonna be hard for them to get over as a team. I don't know if they're gonna be able to come together. This is probably it for them.

If James Madison finishes undefeated, I am declaring them National Champions

If we do go undefeated, I'm going to declare that to be a national championship. Have to. First year five games into playing an actual FBS schedule and James Madison is now ranked 25 in the nation.

Russell Wilson officially stinks and isn't living up to his $250 million contract

We saw Russell Wilson. Just he, can we just say he stinks cuz he stinks. Russell Wilson sucks. Stinks. I think he sucks right now... you pay the guy 250 million to make plays, to win games. I don't like, he stinks.

Nathaniel Hackett is booty cheeks

Nathaniel Hackett is booty cheeks. And if we didn't say that, then we're frauds. I will trash us for not trashing Nathaniel Hackett... he is, he wanted to talk about booty cheeks.

Russell Wilson is a 'bad sports town' himself

Seattle fans were booing Russell Wilson and I thought that was on Seattle and then the Denver fans were leaving the game because of how bad Russell Wilson [was]... It's actually not the towns that are bad. It's Russell Wilson is a bad sports town himself.

Commanders vs. Bears will low-key be a banger of a game due to a new positive mindset

I'm already starting to get the vibes. I'm in a new positive mindset right now about the Commanders... I feel like next week low key might be a banger of a game. Oh, you never know. Cause these are the games that people are always like, it's gonna suck... it was one of the greatest games ever [in 2017].

The Bills will destroy the Steelers and Kenny Pickett in his first start

I am going with the Buffalo Bills. Okay. I think if Mitch [Trubisky] was playing, it's a different story... But it's Kenny Pickett. He's a rookie. He's gonna get destroyed by that defense.

Teddy Bridgewater is the best quarterback in NFL history at covering spreads

The dolphins minus three and a half... Teddy Bridgewater, the best quarterback in the history of the NFL at covering spreads. Spread Bridgewater. I saw some people call him Teddy covers. No, it's Spread Bridgewater. He is 42-20-0 against the spread that hits at a .677 clip. That's number one by far.

Tom Brady will demolish the Falcons to avoid a three-game losing streak

My favorite is the Bucks minus nine against the Falcons at home... Tom Brady has not had a three game losing streak since 2002... He's 10 and oh against the Falcons... He's going to demolish the Falcons.

The Giants will cover the +8 spread against the Packers in London

I'm gonna go with the New York Giants. Ooh. Packers have not looked good this year. They haven't. It's they're plus eight. They almost got beat by Patriots. Bailey Zappe. They didn't let 'em throw and they still almost lost the game. I don't think they're gonna win this game by eight points.

The Raiders vs. Chiefs game on Monday Night Football is a lock for the over 51

Raiders Chiefs Monday Night Football over 51. I mean that's just gonna be fun. Eight of the last nine Raiders prime time games have gone over and last four times they've played each other they've gone over. I just, this is one of those ones that might lose, but I don't care cause I'm gonna sit down on my couch and root for points.

Brian Kelly gets a B+ grade for his first five weeks at LSU

So far I give him a B plus just because I think when you take over a program that had 39 scholarship players... and for Brian Kelly to take that team, have to go out and transfer portal, have to recruit to be able to put 85 scholarship guys. I think he's done a remarkable job.