Takes

Carson Wentz is the statistically best quarterback ever when the temperature is exactly 73 degrees

In exactly 73 degree weather, Carson Wentz is the number one quarterback of all time in yards per attempt. So you gotta have something like you gotta check your weather app on Sundays. If it's 73 degrees outside, start Terry McLaurin on your fantasy team.

Jahan Dotson has advanced ball skills and tactics that most receivers don't learn until they are veterans

He definitely just has a natural ball skill ability. Like he makes some pretty easy catches that look really easy... he has a good feel of playing the receiver position as a rookie and how to catch the ball, how to position itself to use late hands and some of the tactics that you don't really learn until you're a vet.

The Washington Commanders will play in the Super Bowl this year

Like when you guys make the Superbowl this year, you have to come on. Part of my take in that Friday's episode. Yeah. When the Washington Commanders are playing the Superbowl.

Hard Knocks has successfully made me believe in the Detroit Lions

I'm hopeful for Detroit. I think hard knocks has successfully made me believe in the Detroit lions. Now I I'm going to be probably very wrong about that as anyone who's ever rooted for Detroit lions knows, but I'm at that point where like, yeah, I can see, I can see the lines making some noise.

Honolulu blue is an electric shade of blue that doesn't get enough credit

Just as an aside, watching the hard knocks with the lions, Honolulu blue doesn't get enough shoutouts for being a great shade of blue. Like it's always Carolina blue. Yeah. Honolulu blue is electric.

A 9-8 record for the Detroit Lions would be the equivalent of a Super Bowl

If they can get you to believe in the Detroit lines, like even if they just go, if they go nine and eight, that's a super bowl for Detroit. Like what a story that would be.

Zach Wilson will show out in week 15 because Aiden Hutchinson's mother is attractive

Are the jets playing against the lines this year? Because if so, Zach Wilson is absolutely gonna show out in front of his mom... I'm putting the Bon on Zach Wilson on that one. Cuz I know, you know he's at home. He doesn't have anything else to do. He's he's recovering from surgery. He's watching this episode. He's put a big fat circle in week 15.

PGA Tour Commissioner Jay Monahan overplayed his hand and had zero leverage against LIV Golf

He also overplayed his hand. Yeah, of course. And everyone's like, yeah. Okay. You know what? You know, what's better than, than winning. The fortnight challenge is getting a hundred million guaranteed. So Jay Monahan just needs to be like, listen, I fucked this one up. I'm firing myself... It's a classic case of really overplaying your hand and thinking that you had all the leverage in the world when you actually had zero.

MLB should cover up steroid use for players who are great for the game

David Ortiz was like, they, they just shouldn't suspend him because he's so good at baseball. And he is a face of the game... That's actually that's that makes more sense than what his own dad is doing. David Ortiz is right. It's like, if you're awesome at baseball, they should just cover it up.

NFL Blitz without delayed hits is like porn without nipples

NFL blitz is back. There's they're selling it without delayed hits though. Which is stupid... It's basically selling porn with no nipples. I'm a big time like go woke, go broke guy. Yeah, no one's gonna buy NFL blitz minus late hits. That's the only reason.

Shohei Ohtani is on one of the most irrelevant franchises in professional sports

Shohei Ohtani has been incredible... and he just completely lost by being on like one of the more irrelevant franchises in all professional sports. Like Anaheim, there's no reason that nobody cares about Anaheim, right?

The NFL purposefully scheduled Christmas Day games to screw over NBA markets

NFL is game, right? They did it so that each market is fucked by the NFL... Celtics, Sixers, Nicks, sons nuggets, Lakers, Mavs... Packers are playing bucks. They just fucked. It's it's so great. They just like, oh, here are your top teams that you're gonna use for Christmas day. We're gonna steal 'em.

The Warriors will be even better during the 2022-23 season

I think the Warriors are gonna be even better. [Ooh.]

Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving deserve no sympathy because they don't play in enough games

I have no sympathy for any of those guys. Whenever I see anybody on TV being like, 'well, you know, they could have done a better job with their buy-level exception,' I'm like, stop talking. It's about one thing: the guys don't play in enough games and if they did, this team would actually be pretty good.

Italy will win the World Cup this year

I like Italy this year... America's my second team behind Italy. I'm gonna root for Italy. I think Italy... I think this is Italy's year.

Sam Hinkie was too unapologetic about tanking and didn't play the media game well enough

Because [Hinkie] didn't play the game with us, we got more mad at him. Yeah. Like he definitely could have done it and done it a different way. Been better with the media been more open pretended he wasn't really doing it even though everybody like teams are tanking, but we don't wanna be told it. It's fucking crazy. Right? And that's why like it to me is a, is a clear relation to how politicians talk to us.

The Golden State Warriors are going to be even better this season

I think the warriors are gonna be even better. Ooh.

I have zero sympathy for Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving because they don't play in enough games

Sean Marks is the guy when you, you basically were like, Hey sign Deandre Jordan... You're getting everything you want and then you still want everybody fired... Just play in the fucking basketball games. And maybe things will work out... I have no sympathy for any of those guys. Whenever I see anybody on TV being like, well, you know, they could have done a better job with their buy level exception and I'm like, stop fucking talking. It's about one thing the guys don't play in enough games.

Italy will win the World Cup this year

I like Italy this year... America's my second team behind. Behind Italy. I'm gonna root for Italy. I think Italy. I think this is Italy's year... Italy's just too good.

Bet on rookie head coaches in the first week of the NFL preseason

Week one, it was pretty strong. You just bet on whatever coach, if it's a matchup between a rookie head coach and a coach that's been in the league before you bet on the rookie head coach to win. Because I think somewhere deep down, they would prefer to win their very first game that they play.

The Ravens are the best preseason football team ever

Bet on the Ravens because Ravens are the best team to ever play preseason football. They're incredible.

Lamar Jackson's 18-pound muscle gain will make him slower

You see Lamar Jackson added 18 pounds of muscle... I feel like he's not gonna be as quick... He looks thicker. I just can't imagine gaining 18 pounds of muscle. Like you can't tell me he's going to be as fast. He has to lose at least a little bit of quickness.

The Ravens should pay Lamar Jackson whatever he wants because he will get even more on the open market

They better lock [Lamar Jackson] up because if he hits the open market, he's gonna get paid.

The Steelers have the best three-deep quarterback room in the NFL

I actually think that if you were like, who's got the best three quarterbacks, I think the Steelers are the answer. Rudolph, Trubisky, and Pickett. Like I think if you had to go three deep, I think the Steelers are the answer.

Boxers and porn stars never actually retire

Boxers in porn stars never really retire. They always say they do. They're always ready for one more. It just always, you know what I mean? You'll see. You just be like, no, no, if you're there's one more you just age into becoming a MILF.

Kentucky is definitively a basketball school, regardless of football's success

What John Calipari said is not incorrect. He just shouldn't say it out loud. They are a basketball school. Like you can't change that. This would be saying like if Notre Dame basketball won a national championship, they wouldn't be a basketball school. No offense to the football program, Kentucky. When you think Kentucky, you think basketball, that's just a fact.

Grit is doing what you are supposed to do better than anyone else on the planet

Grit is doing what you're supposed to do when you're supposed to do it the way you're supposed to do it and do it fucking better than anybody else on the planet.

Winning a Super Bowl creates a lifelong bond and an incredible professional network

When you win a super bowl with a group of men, your Rolodex is incredible. There's some sort of a bond when you win that one game in this league, that's never ending.

Special teams is the ultimate transitional football play

Special teams is some degree gets a bad rap. It's really the ultimate football play. You take the punt play to me it's the most transitional play in all the football. You have the ball, so you have to protect the punter. And then next thing you transition into a defensive player.

A drop kick is a more effective strategy for an onside kick than the standard kick

For the onside kick, I've been trying to tell people that a more effective way to do it could be to do a drop kick. In rugby, you can get way more air under the ball. Obviously, if it hits the ground first, kick it right up in the air.

Kicking a field goal down 8 points in the NFC Championship was a terrible idea

Kicking a field goal down eight with two minutes left and the best quarterback of all time on the opposing team in the NFC championship game. Yes. That would be a bad idea. Mathematically and spiritually also just bad vibes from that decision. My goal is to never, ever let that go.

Godfather Part III was a terrible idea and people should just ignore its existence

Godfather three [was a] really bad idea. Shouldn't have done it. The perfect two movies. Probably one of the only times that the second is better than the first. And then they're like, let's fucking roll the dice and go again. Godfather three awful movie, so much so that people just don't acknowledge that it exists.

Not pulling out is an all-time bad idea

Not pulling out. He's saying not pulling out when you were supposed to pull out. [Big Cat: You're against cream pies?] Billy Football, anti-cream pie.

Colorado is my favorite state

I love this state. I think it's my favorite state. It is all in all. It's a great state.

Mount Everest is low-key mid

Honestly, Mount Everest, low key mid for real dude.

Sundown Saloon is the greatest dive bar in Colorado

Sundown Saloon, shoutout the Sundown Saloon. Probably the greatest dive bar in, in, in Colorado. Yeah.

Russell Wilson is built like a dump truck

Russell Wilson... guy's built like a dump truck. He is, he's got a fat ass.

We are banned from the Beacon Theater because of James Dolan

Part of my take was slated to do a live show in New York city at the beacon theater... I just got information that that date has been pulled from us because James Dolan owns the beacon theater. And we are the fucking bad boys of podcasting. We're banned from the beacon theater because of James Dolan.

It is cringeworthy for one adult to use the word 'potty' when talking to another adult

The person who was working the like little cafe... was like, I gotta, I'm putting up this sign. I gotta go to the potty. And it's been in my head since, and I don't like another adult telling another adult I have to go use the potty is the most cringeworthy. Like I can't get outta my head.

I would consider signing Blake Bortles to the Broncos

I think I need to have a conversation with him [Bortles] and the general manager and the new owners, you know, we can't get crazy here. [Big Cat: I'm gonna hold you to that, I think that was a guarantee.]

The red zone should be called the 'gold zone'

Why does everybody call it the red zone? Why would I wanna stop? I mean you can call it the green zone, but everybody uses that for third down. And if we're talking about money, I want the it's gold zone. I mean, touchdowns give you gold.

I have come to terms with the fact that I will eventually lose the tip of my pinky to a bet

I've already... I've come to the grips with the fact that I will die without a tip of my pinky, cuz I just, it will happen.

I would probably win a dance contest against most other NFL coaches

I feel like I, I would, I would probably win dance contest with most, most of the [NFL coaches].

The Denver airport was likely built by Nazis or the New World Order

Denver international airport airport built by Nazis, right? Well, it was built by the same person that or the same company that built the underground layer... There's a lot of, a lot of conspiracies about this place. There's miles of underground bunker... Something going on that doesn't add up.

Red Rocks is an iconic venue

Jesus at Red Rocks... that's special. That's iconic. Yeah. Now I actually need to see Red Rocks put on a hologram Jesus performance.

The Denver airport is the worst one we have reviewed so far

I'm just gonna say it... I take Indy airport and Madison airport over this airport. [PFT: It's in last place.] It's firm last place. That's new power rankings are out.

The earth is 'rounded' like a vert ramp, not flat or circular

Everyone's been wrong cuz it's it's it's not flat or circular. It's rounded. Slightly angled. Yeah. It's like a, a tent that catches a little bit of wind underneath it.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the best candy overall

One, one, no brainer. Pick hat knows this favorite candy. I literally had it for breakfast this morning. Reese's.

Peanut Butter M&Ms are better than regular M&Ms

Our third pick, we're gonna go with peanut butter M&Ms... Easy money in the bank. I would take that over regular M&M actually all day, all day. If somebody handed you a bag of regular M&Ms, and one peanut butter, you're taking peanut butter every time.

A Twizzler can be used as a straw for drinking Coke

You know, what's the best part about Twizzlers? If you bite both ends, you can use it as straw. That's true... get a large Coke. Yeah. Longs, Twizzlers bite. Both ends use the Twizzler as a straw for the Coke.