I will either get hair plugs or grow a beard to deal with my balding
I think, I mean, it's just one or the other. You got to go either that route [hair plugs] or you go the, I'm just going to own it and grow out a beard and just try and look like a badass.
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View episodeI want to be replaced by a parrot if I die in Cleveland
If I do die in Cleveland... I want a parrot... play old episodes of Pardon My Take for the parrot... put it in front of a microphone and you talk to it and it'll just basically do the same shitty takes that we've done for the past three months. Nobody will even know that it's not me anymore.
Phil Mickelson is the first person with a recessive clutch gene
Phil [Mickelson] has a clutch gene because he's won a championship, but I think he might be the first person with a recessive clutch gene. You know how a redhead... you'll blow the redhead that pops up in your family. He's got the recessive clutch gene because he so often finishes second.
Phil Mickelson choked away another major championship
Anytime you got Phil [Mickelson] finishing in second, the storyline is Phil Mickelson choked away another one. Let's focus where it needs to be because it's always fun to make fun of Phil for being always the bridesmaid, never the bride guy.
More from Blake Bortles
View profileI probably would have had a better long-term NFL career as a tight end
I thought early on that tight end could have been a potential better just long-term situation for my skillset and [the Jaguars] kind of pushed back on that. So I ended up playing quarterback. I had more offers to play tight end outta college than quarterback. I always thought [the skillset was fitting].
Shaving your head and growing a beard is the only move for balding men
Shave it and grow a beard... my thing was, which I held onto it for a while... and I finally got... I found this barber... He goes 'Dude you need to just shave your fucking head.' That's, yeah, I think you're right dude. It's tough. I shave it. It was just, you know, bullied me into shaving my head.
I quietly retired from the NFL and didn't tell anyone.
I did. I heard Hank mention that the other day and I appreciate that Hank, I have not touched a football since January. I quietly, I didn't tell anybody I retired. Probably just didn't tell anyone. So I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly.
