Takes

Getting hit by a pitch only hurts for about thirty seconds to a minute

My son looks at me, he goes, do you think that hurt? I was like, yeah, probably hurt. But it goes away after, you know, 30 seconds or a minute.

I had no intention of hurting Ruben Tejada during the 2015 NLDS slide

There was zero intention to fuck anybody up on that play... Obviously the outcome was different than other slides that I've had. I didn't anticipate actually hitting him nearly as hard as I did... I had no intention of hurting him whatsoever.

The worst team in the league should always get the #1 overall pick

The team that was the worst last year should get the best player in the draft and there should be nothing that interferes with that correlation. The lottery thing, I'm not sure that it really affects behavior of teams in any meaningful way.

Kyle Schwarber is the greatest home run hitter in the game

Kyle Schwarber is the man. What a monster. Three swings, three dongs, three no-doubters. He hit three home runs in three swings, absolute monsters. He's the best. I fucking love him forever.

Aaron Judge showed bad leadership by leaving the All-Star Game early

Bad leadership by Aaron Judge at the All Star Game. [Ohtani and Judge] were probably on a plane... it did feel like the National League manager was trying to win harder than the American League manager.

Every baseball game should be decided by a swing-off

I like the swing off. The end of game is great. I want everything decided by swing offs now. Regular season baseball games swing off... child custody hearings swing off.

The Home Run Derby format is broken and needs to return to 10 outs per round

The Home Run Derby sucks anyway. We forget every single year, then we're like, 'Oh yeah, you can't actually see the home runs land and the next swing happen at the same time.' I hate the time. Just go back to 10 outs. Make it simple. It's so easy. It was such a 'not broken, don't fix it' situation. 10 outs. Just do it every time. They just got cute with it.

Winning a World Series in Philadelphia is more special than in Boston

What separates the two for me was... there's not many championships in the city of Philadelphia. In the city of Boston, it's pretty different. That's what makes Philadelphia to me a little bit more special. You have a love and a passion for their sports, but I feel like [Philly fans] act differently about it because they don't have many.

Hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in all of sports

Baseball's the hardest thing to do in the world. I mean, I don't care, golf's hard... but if I tell you, 'Hey, let's go down to the park and let me throw an 80 mile an hour fastball at you, and throw the first one at your head,' that's part of the game. And you'll never want to step back in. So that's the hardest.

Stephen Strasburg at his peak was the filthiest pitcher I ever faced

Steven Strasburg, when he first came to the big leagues... he made his debut against us. He threw a hundred and you just threw me two off speed pitches in a three-two count... I was like, bro, like this dude is not real. His first five years... it was a joke. It wasn't fun.

It is good for MLB to not have the Home Run Derby associated with Christian Yelich and his previous 'anal lingus' controversy

You know what's great is it's good for the sport not to have people associate the home run derby with anal lingus. [Christian Yelich] is not competing... we did it, one more year of keeping our tongues out of each other's buttholes.

I'm a 'Misery' guy and think MLB is right to put the 'phenom' Brody Brecht in the All-Star game to grow the sport

I don't think deserving is the right word. I think it's why... we wanna tune in and try to grow the game back and people wanna watch him. It like, this guy throws the ball so fast, so hard. And he's had a great start to his career. I'm a misery guy. I don't even know how to say his name. Misery... he puts asses in seats.

I want Brody Brecht to be the biggest bust in MLB history after he was selected for the All-Star game over Ranger Suárez

I now hate this guy. I now want this guy to be the biggest bust in MLB history. Ranger Suárez has a 1.94 in 13 games... How do you possibly look at that and be like, this guy is more deserving than Ranger Suárez? It makes no sense.

The Washington Nationals drafted Eli Willits first overall because they are afraid of agent Scott Boras

I think we drafted this guy [Eli Willits] because we're afraid of Scott Boras. And also because we had to pay King Scott Boras, big time king... It would help if the Nationals drafted a player who was not represented by Scott Boras, who has just bent them over for the last 10 years repeatedly.

Firing Nationals GM Mike Rizzo because of the team's record is nonsensical due to budget constraints

Firing a GM because you didn't give him enough money to spend on good food... That's like divorcing your wife because you got fat.

The dropped third strike is the stupidest rule in all of baseball

The dropped third strike rule is the stupidest rule in baseball of all time. You swing in a pitch that's that bad... and then just because the ball like bounced away, you get to go to first base. It's a participation trophy. I literally made you swing at a pitch that didn't even make it to the plate. It was that bad. And you get to run to first base.

Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia is the most hostile sporting environment in the world

Those games in the playoffs [in Philly] were the most hostile sporting event that I've ever been a part of hands down for sure. But I, I don't know. It also makes it fun for us. You know? It's like that's, you feed off it... whether they're screaming for you against you at least it's like it brings energy. It's fun.

CJ Abrams is the best Saber Metric pick in the Dingers Only draft because he leads off

Ideally you want your players to get as many opportunities to hit home runs as possible. Why not take a guy that hits lead off shortstop. CJ Abrams. He's gonna get like four more at bats than some of your guys' clowns.

The 2025 Dodgers are the #1 champions of the calendar year across all sports

I'm gonna go Dodgers number one. Dodgers, Panthers, Florida basketball, Ohio State Football, Thunder, LSU Baseball, Eagles, Rory McIlroy. That feels good.

Playing in Houston, Boston, and New York takes a greater physical and mental toll on players than other cities

Games in Houston, Boston, New York, playing in the places like that, where you feel like the team's, the pressure's constantly on and the fans are on top of you and it's hot. Those take a little more outta you.

Robot Umpires should stay out of baseball to preserve the human element of arguing and ejections

Out on Robot Umps. I mean, don't you wanna keep a little bit of the baseball in it? You wanna see managers and guys getting ejected, like that's part of the game. ... If you take that away, it's like there's not, you know, you need a little bit of excitement in the game.

High school baseball is plagued by coaches who bat their own kids in the top five of the order

Especially nowadays there's like five coaches on the team and they're all, their kids are hitting first five in the order. It's like, come on now. All playing infield.

The Red Sox owner John Henry is orchestrating a 'smear job' on Rafael Devers because Devers didn't answer his text message

MLB owner just getting his feelings hurt... I believe the reason traded Devers... John Henry made a trip to have like a face-to-face conversation with him... and Devers was not having it. [Big Cat]: I do love like just the story of a, a owner just getting his feelings hurt. It happens a lot. And just saying, I'm making this rash decision 'cause my feelings got hurt.

Red Sox ownership does not care about the fans or winning after the Devers trade

I've been out of the Red Sox ownership since they got rid of Mookie Betts... they don't care about the fans. They don't care about winning. Like they know the Red Sox ownership is selfish and they don't care about winning because they know that fans are gonna show up either way.

If the Cubs don't sign Kyle Tucker, it means ownership will never commit to winning

The Kyle Tucker impending free agency is gonna be very similar... there is no better time to commit to a guy like Kyle Tucker then right this second. So if they don't do it this time, they're basically saying they'll never do it.

AJ Hinch is the best manager in baseball and is always thinking multiple plays ahead

I probably won't. He's got, he's, he's so smart. AJ's, I mean, he's the best manager in the game. So wherever he wants to take the game or whatever he wants to do... it feels like every move that is made during the game... it feels like it's always in our advantage... he's really good at his job.

Cal Raleigh is a legitimate MVP candidate and deserves more national attention

Cal Raleigh is the catcher for Seattle Mariners. He has 23 home runs and that's insane. It's nuts that he's doing this as a catcher... He won't win MVP, but he's got my vote. First catcher with 20 home runs before June.

Barry Bonds and Pete Rose should be in the Hall of Fame

I might be inclined to vote for Rose to get in, you know? And I think Barry Bonds should be in the Hall of Fame because everybody... most of the power hitters were, and he's by far the best hitter to ever play the sport. It's a museum at the end of the day.

MLB is failing by not having wall-to-wall nationally broadcast games on Memorial Day

I don't understand how the MLB still can't figure it out. That like, Memorial Day happens to start summer every year and you haven't figured out a way to have wall to wall baseball games. It's crazy to me. And it should be like, there should be games starting very early and it'd go all day and it should be all nationally broadcast. Like why, why wouldn't you do that?

It is understandable for a player with a $700 million contract to occasionally lack hustle to first base

If someone paid me $700 million to play baseball, I would sometimes not run to first base. 'cause I would probably just be distracted and be like, shit, why am I running to first base? I have $700 million. That was an out. ... It's human nature.

An average person could likely get three outs in a Major League game eventually

I think you get three outs. Yeah. Like, honestly... The ball is bound to go to somebody. Yeah. Like there's no, like, it just goes against odds for the ball to just keep landing in the grass somewhere. Right.

The Rockies firing Bud Black won't change anything because owner Dick Monfort is the real problem.

The Rockies fired Bud Black... the owner, Dick Monfort, being like, 'we're all trying to find out how this happened.' It's you, dude. You're the piece of shit.

Errors in the outfield are significantly worse than errors in the infield

Errors in the outfield are way worse than errors on the infield for whatever reason. 'cause anytime you're like backed to the field, you are chasing the ball after.

Robot umpires should only be used for challenges, not for every pitch

I think that would be like the furthest extent that you'd want see it. I don't want it like full, I, I just, yeah. Don't think it would be good... I think in big spots if like there's an egregious miss or something like that, like I think even the umpires would probably want it to be corrected.

The Home Run Derby has lost its luster and isn't cool anymore

Home run derby's not even cool anymore. I don't even You messed up the format... the camera work's gone. I don't think Chris Berman's even doing it. It's lost a lot of its luster.

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he hasn't won a World Series

I would go even further and say he's [Aaron Judge] not a true Yankee. Which is funny because he's had some of the best seasons of all time by any offensive player. Still not a true Yankee... You can't be a true Yankee in the regular season. The Yankees season starts in October.

Increased runs and homers are objectively good for baseball

Why you watch baseball? To watch homers? Yeah. Why do people want less homers? Yeah. Like everything in baseball right now is going towards the pitcher. The one time, the one time something goes towards the hitter and now everyone wants to freak out. That's what baseball's fun. You wanna watch people hit, you wanna, this is good for baseball. More runs is good for baseball

The MLB postseason is more of a crapshoot than fans realize

The great equalizer in baseball is that its postseason is just kind of a crapshoot. Like even the best team is gonna go into a series with a 60% chance of winning. Not a whole lot higher than that.

The Pirates have an incredible pitching staff but failed to support them this offseason

The Pirates have an incredible pitching staff and they didn't do shit this off season... go out and try to field a winning team.

Pete Rose should be reinstated to MLB and the Hall of Fame because his 'lifetime' ban is technically over

It was a lifetime ban. Right. The operative word being life. Right. He's no longer alive. Right. He's dead. So the ban should have already been lifted.

The Yankees changed their facial hair policy specifically for Juan Soto

This might have been part of Juan Soto's contract. What's the free agent class coming up? Maybe there's something there.

Removing human umpires from baseball takes away 50% of the reason to watch

I do worry as always that when you take away umps, you, you take away like 50% of the conversations guys can have with each other. And that goes for refs and, and everything in sports. If you can't complain about the calls, what are we gonna talk about? It'd basically be like putting a ban on no discussion about the weather.

Baseball is the worst of the four major North American sports

I'm not a ball guy. Slow game. Bottom, bottom of the four major sports for sure. Hockey, football, then to throw the NBA. And then we gotta drop to MLB.

MLB's pitch clock and base-size rule changes were a great move

I'm a huge baseball fan and I'm a big fan of the changes that they've [MLB] made. Like, I think the pitch clock, slightly enlarging the bases to make stealing easier... The fact that they're making changes in the most traditional of all sports to keep up with the times [is great].

The MLB salary structure is bad for the sport

In baseball you have no [cap]... some teams are paying like nothing and some teams are paying like $500 million. I don't think that's the way to do it. [And the Ohtani deal] where they'll pay you in like 50 years? Which is insane.

The MLB must fire any umpire who shares a gambling account

The MLB had to fire a ref because he was umpire sharing — sorry, umpire. He was sharing a gambling account with another gambler who was gambling on baseball... even if the MLB was like, we don't even care about the whole betting part or the baseball thing, we can't have people employed by us who think it's okay to share a gambling account.

Rickey Henderson is the best lead-off hitter of all time

Rickey Henderson... was such a awesome, awesome baseball player to watch. All his base stealing records are just insane... Best lead off hitter of all time. All his base stealing records are just insane. They're the stats that you can look up and be like, it would, oh, it would take somebody like 30 years.

Mets fans can no longer complain about Steve Cohen now that he is signing Juan Soto.

Mets fans, I, I envy Mets fans... I feel like Mets fans, you can't complain about Steve Cohen. No, at all. Like you, you've lost, that's not an option for you now.

The MLB 'Golden at Bat' rule would be awesome and make the end of games more exciting

I like this rule. I think that makes it cool... think about like the ninth inning when you're like, oh, you know, [Ohtani] made the last out. But he can, he can bat again and we're down two. That's cool.

The pinnacle of pitching is winning a World Series ring

I just wanna win. I think the best thing in sports is winning. It cures everything. Individually, Triple Crown, Cy Young, obviously you wanna do that again. But it all wouldn't mean as much if I don't have a ring. If not multiple. That's why you play. At least that's why I play the game is to win World Series rings and go perform on that stage.