Takes

The Philadelphia Phillies' current core is at a dead end and needs a major shakeup

The Phillies like, could be in a very transitional phase at this point because this current incarnation of them guys just has failed. Like they have not been able to win a championship. They've gone backward or, or been stagnant every year. And at some point you just gotta change the mix in the room.

The Mariners win over the Tigers in the ALDS was fueled by the 'Vibe Shift' of Humpy the Salmon winning his first race

This win goes as much to their stadium management crew as it does to the team on the field. Because T-Mobile Park was a dead zone. And then they did a second Salmon race... and Humpy the Salmon, a mascot who'd never won... his record was 0 and 162... Humpy won. Vibe shift entirely. Next inning, Mariners win.

There is a 0% chance the Cubs resign Kyle Tucker

There's a 0% chance they resign Kyle Tucker. Kyle Tucker gave a quote after the game that has never, there's never been a guy who has been more gone than Kyle Tucker was gone in that moment... That's the most goodbye you could possibly have.

The Cubs should bring home Kyle Schwarber

I would love [to get] Fram [and] Kyle Schwarber... Schwarber would be awesome. Bring him home. Be awesome.

The Brewers could absolutely beat the Dodgers in the NLCS

I've got a future on the Brewers that I put in in early August. They could absolutely beat the Dodgers. I've got a future on them... I would be very happy to see the Mariners win the World Series over my future, but I like the Brewers.

Aaron Judge's postseason home run is a footnote if the Yankees don't win the series

Aaron Judge hit that home run. Listen, that one foot. I said it. If they [the Yankees] don't win that series, it is a footnote and it is absolutely a footnote.

The Blue Jays are going to be a handful in the next round with Bo Bichette returning

The Toronto Blue Jays... they're getting Bo Bichette back I think in the next round. It's so, the Blue Jays are, they're, they're gonna be a handful.

Aaron Boone doesn't actually do anything for the Yankees besides chew on things

I don't really know what Aaron Boone does with that team besides just like chews. He just chews stuff. Yeah, he's like a dog. If you leave him alone, he, and there's something in front of him, he will pick it up in his mouth and he will chew it. But outside of that, I don't know what his day-to-day is.

The Phillies' loss to the Dodgers is the worst in playoff history since Bill Buckner

It's the worst loss in playoff history since Bill Buckner. He should have gone to first. That is a play that you would be shocked to see on a little league field.

Statcast measurements for home run distances are a lie

Stack Cast said [the Aaron Judge home run went] like 473. I don't believe that for a second. ... When they say like 373 feet on their like internal measurement system, there's no way that was only 373 feet, right? No, I don't believe any of that.

The Blue Jays are the only team with the mental criteria to beat the Dodgers in the World Series

I ran a mental simulation last night to, 'cause I was pissed off. 'cause it seems like the Dodgers were gonna win the World Series and there's nothing anybody else could do about it. I did 2000 mental simulations. I was laying in bed envisioning a team that I could picture beating the Dodgers in the World Series. And the only team that fits my mental criteria is the Blue Jays.

MLB is rigging playoff games and juicing baseballs to extend series

If the Yankees had got swept, it's in like MLB needs to do something territory. Someone's, you know, someone's gotta extend a series. ... I'm saying like MLB is gonna rig games to advance the series. ... when the Brewers and Dodgers are pitching, they'd give him the, the juiced ones.

The Cubs will be the only team to get swept in the Division Series

I think the Cubs are screwed because I saw Tom Fornelli our good friend who's on later on in the show, who does not like the Cubs tweets. So we're gonna get three out of four of the DS series as sweeps, and now the Yankees won. That means a Phillies are gonna win and the Cubs are gonna be the only team that gets swept.

Cheating in baseball is legal as long as it doesn't involve electronics or batteries

Cheating in baseball is legal except if you use electronics. That's my, that's my rule. Like use electronics then at that, if a battery is involved, then that's against the rules.

Rob Thomson is coaching the Phillies like a loser

Rob Thompson is coaching like a loser. ... His reasoning for Aaron Nola is that he's a, he's a big time pitcher. Ranger Suarez is a big time pitcher. Pitch your best guys. ... it's the momentum that, that just really pissed me off. Is that it was the first time the stadium was feeling something and just ride it. Just ride it.

The Yankees should not celebrate a wild card win

I don't think that the Yankees should celebrate winning a wild card round... I think every other team can do it. You're the New York Yankees. You're supposed to be the Yankees. The standard shouldn't just be winning a wild card series.

Pitching Matthew Boyd on short rest was an inexplicable mistake by Craig Counsell

Craig Counsell decided to pitch [Matthew Boyd] on short rest game one. He got absolutely lit up... I don't understand it. Why wouldn't you go bullpen? ... I feel like every short rest is always a disadvantage.

The Phillies' current competitive run is nearing the end

This, it's, it, it is nearing the end of our run. Like Zach Wheeler, who knows what he's gonna be when he comes back... Schwarber is probably gone. Ranger Suarez is probably gone.

Aaron Judge will never be a true Yankee unless he wins a World Series

Aaron Judge has to win. He has to. Aaron Judge will not, he will not ever be a true Yankee... [he] has to win a World Series or else. Not a true Yankee. Probably not even. I'll take him out of the Hall of Fame. I won't vote for him.

The Tigers' series win erased the memory of the Guardians' historic 15.5-game comeback

Did the Tigers just erase that entire 15 and a half game comeback? I unfortunately think yes... when you lose then to the Tigers in three games, that's brutal. You caught them to then get the right to lose to them at home. You kept them alive to allow them to embarrass you.

The Cubs should always play afternoon playoff games and the Phillies should always play night games

I have a take about the Cubs games. I think the playoffs, whenever possible the Cubs should play afternoon games. And the Phillies should play night games... Because Wrigley Field looks awesome. Especially like in the sunset... the stadium is perfect for Twilight. And then Philly, the SEC environment... it works at the bank.

The Guardians' historic comeback to win the AL Central will embolden bad GMs to never give up on a season

The fact that [the Guardians] won the AL Central now emboldens every general manager... because when they're 15 and a half games back, they'll be like, 'We're still in this. Remember the Guardians?'

The Mets are spineless pussies who couldn't get it done

The Mets are just a bunch of spineless pussies and they just couldn't get it done. Pete Alonso was out the door before the game ended. They're gonna get their teeth kicked in by the Dodgers.

The Guardians are the best team in baseball right now

Guardians are, are red hot. I put a future on the Guardians to win the World Series just because of like how crazy this last month has been for them. The best team in baseball right now. I don't think they're, they're the most talented team, but like, in terms of the streak that they're on, it's worth a shot at least.

The Mets are definitely making the playoffs

Gun to your head? Are they making the playoffs? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. They, they are definitely set up in a spot that they should, they should be feeling okay about themselves.

Teams should only celebrate clinching the division, not the Wild Card or DS

Clinching the playoffs is absolutely celebration worthy... I think when you win the wild card division series, it's like, this should be business as usual. Like we are, we're here now to win a championship. Let's focus on that.

The MLB rivalry between the Padres and Mariners is called the 'Eddie Vedder Cup'

It's the Eddie Vedder Cup... The competition is named after Pearl Jam front man, rock and roll legend Eddie Vedder, who lived in both cities during his life and personally designed the trophy, which features a guitar.

Aroldis Chapman is officially unhittable again

I didn't know Aroldis Chapman was just like Unhittable again. ... He's like truly unhittable again. ... 0.33 ERA over his last 30 appearances. That's insane.

Shohei Ohtani should be eliminated from MVP consideration after giving up five runs to the Rockies

Shohei [Ohtani] got rocked and he got hit by a line drive... he hit into a triple play, five runs against the Rockies. Those two things should eliminate you from the MVP.

MLB realignment and getting rid of the American and National Leagues would be a mistake

Shut the fuck up. Get the fuck out of my clubhouse, Rob [Manfred]... I actually think they should do the opposite. They should get rid of Interleague play... Dial it back, but don't get rid of the leagues. That would be a mistake.

Zack Wheeler is likely done for the year with blood clots and the Phillies' season is over

I think [Zack Wheeler] is probably done for the year, which means that the Phillies are probably done. Blood clot sounds bad in his shoulder... everyone for pitching... Yeah. No, I think, I think he's probably done for the year, which is, which means that the Phillies are probably done.

The Milwaukee Brewers' 12-game win streak will inevitably end and they will blow their lead to the Cubs

The brewers are up eight games now. It happened in like two seconds... I think you guys just got out to a hot start... This is by the way, the Ultimate Loser talk that I'm just trying to find Solace being like we didn't blow the lead.

MLB cannot let Shohei Ohtani win MVP because of the gambling and real estate controversies

I mean it, you can't, if you're the MLB, you can't have Shohei Ohtani with all these controversies being the base of your league. The gambling one, yeah, maybe blame it on the interpreter. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice... we're about to give this guy his fourth MVP in five years? MLB writers really need to do like justice here because they are the keepers of the game.

The Yankees should bring back Joe Torre and their old facial hair policy

The year where they decide to change their entire facial hair policy and grooming standards, things go downhill. They should go back to a manager that doesn't manage just off a spreadsheet. They need, they might need to bring back the no facial hair and Joe Torre all in the same.

Kyle Schwarber should be the National League MVP

Kyle Schwarber should be MVP 'cause he hit, but we talk about that a little bit later. He, he, he, he did hit two home runs on Monday night. They were fucking mammoths.

Anyone who truly dedicates themselves to throwing a knuckleball can make it to Major League Baseball

I think anybody that really dedicates themself to throwing a knuckleball, we'll make it to major league baseball. Agreed.

Kyle Schwarber should win the NL MVP

I was gonna say Kyle Schwarber should be MVP. ... Shohei is not pitching. ... I also have a 90 to one ticket on Kyle Schwarber. But that has nothing to do with us saying Kyle Schwarber should win MVP.

Cal Raleigh should be the AL MVP

I'm not concerned with the NL race. I'm more concerned Cal Raleigh should be AL MVP. I just feel very strongly.

MLB should stop doing experimental stadium games and just do Field of Dreams every year

Why not just do it at Field of Dreams every single year. ... This is such a situation where like baseball had a really cool thing that White Sox Yankees game was insane. And why not just go back there and do it?

The Pollad family are jerks who don't care about the Minnesota Twins winning

The Twins just trading their entire team and just being shitty ownership that needs to change. ... The Pollad family. Fuck you guys. Jim Pollad, Jerk. Carl Pollad, Jerk. Jim's son Joe, Jerk. ... Putting out a team where all you're trying to do is get to the playoffs a little bit and never actually go for it, that's bullshit.

The Miami Marlins might sneak into the MLB playoffs

The Miami Marlins... might sneak away into the playoffs. They're six games out of the Wild Card. I don't know, fun story going on in Miami.

The Chicago Cubs' 2025 trade deadline was a disaster with no clear plan.

Cubs Trade deadline recap... They got no plan. They got a bunch of rental arms. A super utility man. Which I like that. That's cool... But it feels like Kyle Tucker will not be resigned. The Cubs had, they, they traded a prospect, a really good pro prospect in Cam Smith for Kyle Tucker... And then they did nothing at the trade deadline. And they're holding onto prospects and then they're probably not gonna sign Kyle Tucker... it's a disaster.

The only way the Cubs can make their deadline right is by re-signing Kyle Schwarber in free agency.

The only way they can make it right is if they bring back Kyle Schwarber. I decided on that. I'm gonna start putting the pressure on that. 'cause he's a free agent.

I am officially back in on the San Diego Padres as World Series contenders.

I might be back in on the Padres. I feel like it's every time a year for me when I start thinking about the Padres and I was thinking about 'em today. Great bull[pen]. They had maybe the best bullpen last year and their bullpen's better.

Bryce Harper is right that players are willing to lose a whole season over a salary cap.

He's right-ish... [Manfred] is pitching the salary cap right to the players circumventing the MLBPA. And it's their job to hear from the owners and then take that to the rank and file players. And then Harper's like, 'If you're gonna say that, get the fuck out.' Bryce Harper is right. Bryce is right about this... He can afford to lose 162 games. The guys at the top can afford to lose 162 games.

The Baltimore Orioles have the best color scheme and logo in all of baseball

Orioles sneaky have like the best color scheme in baseball... and logo.

The walk-off catcher's interference rule is a stupid rule

I mean there's no, there's not much Hot Seat. It's just a stupid rule... Lost on walk off catcher's interference. Second time it's ever happened in MLB history. First time since 1971. The problem was the catcher just stuck it... It was technically letter of the law catcher's interference.

I have no confidence in the Phillies right now

I, I, I'm, I'm tuned in. I watch every game. It's just, I, it's, I don't know. They're frustrating squad... Dude, I just don't have a lot of confidence in this, in this team right now.

Getting hit by a pitch only hurts for about thirty seconds to a minute

My son looks at me, he goes, do you think that hurt? I was like, yeah, probably hurt. But it goes away after, you know, 30 seconds or a minute.

I had no intention of hurting Ruben Tejada during the 2015 NLDS slide

There was zero intention to fuck anybody up on that play... Obviously the outcome was different than other slides that I've had. I didn't anticipate actually hitting him nearly as hard as I did... I had no intention of hurting him whatsoever.