Takes

I officially hate the New Orleans Saints and will root against them on broadcasts

Joe Buck now hates the Saints... I think we should go on record and at least have one that I actually can't stand. And I'm just over the top rooting against. And whoever they're playing that week, I will refer to as we.

Cam Newton's next celebration should involve converting to Islam and refusing to stand for the anthem

Cam X, Cameron X, converted to Islam, doesn't stand for the national anthem. His touchdown dances to pray, and then he hands the ball to a black kid. I mean, there we go.

Trent Richardson is definitely taking steroids if he thinks he is a Hall of Famer

Pre-crime. Trent Richardson is going to be using steroids. I'd say it's a fair assumption. He obviously has not taken any performance-enhancing drugs... but he hasn't been taking PEDs [yet].

NFL owners might have murdered Roger Goodell and faked a hack to test public reaction

I think it's more probable than not that this was an idea that was floated by the owners just to see – just to kind of like gauge the reaction and see what public sentiment would look like if Roger Goodell were to die. ... Expect Roger Goodell to maybe actually be murdered by – I don't know. Let's call it the Rooneys and the Maras over the course of the next couple of months.

The 2016 Bills have a chance to make some noise under Rex Ryan

I think the continuity coming back under Rex, we got a lot of guys coming back on both sides of the ball. I think we got a chance to make some noise.

The 'Redskins' name is the only slur that has gotten less offensive over time

That is really the only word then that has gotten less offensive as time goes on. Like name any other slur and it always gets more offensive... I think white people need to kind of pat themselves on the back on this one for making Redskins no longer a racist term.

The Jaguars are definitely going to make some noise this season

I think we're definitely going to make some noise. Yeah, you know... we're looking forward to making some noise this year.

Jimmy Clausen still has the potential to be a good NFL quarterback

To be fair, Jimmy [Clausen]'s put together a couple of good games. Like jury's still out on Jimmy.

Aaron Rodgers' hard count is unsportsmanlike and the 'quarterback version of entrapment'

I actually agree with him [Richard Klatt]. Well, it's kind of the NFL quarterback's version of entrapment, right? Like if you're a police officer, you're not allowed to entice somebody into committing a crime. Why would you be able to like trick somebody into committing a penalty?

Laremy Tunsil's gas mask bong video proves he is mentally tough and has great lung capacity

Twitter, Laremy Tunsil's official verified Twitter account tweets a video of Laremy Tunsil hitting a gas mask bong... Nice lungs on him. If you're scouting him and you're like, damn, that guy can play deep into the fourth quarter. That guy can play at altitude is what it tells me. ... Mentally tough. He's got deep lungs. He can play deep into the fourth quarter.

Carson Wentz has better long-term prospects than Jared Goff because he can sit for a year

I would look at Wentz's long-term prospects, especially if he can sit the first year and learn... The thing I fear for Goff is being thrown to the wolves right away with huge expectations, big city, new city. The learning curve is going to be very, very fast for him... I would be much happier if I were training a quarterback this year for one of these two teams, if he could sit for a year instead of getting battered. So that's one reason I really like Wentz.

Tom Brady could sue the NFL and Roger Goodell for defamation

I don't think [Tom Brady] is just going to let this go away. I think what he may do is he may sue for defamation, because what happened in this Deflategate, none of that is relevant to if he brought a claim for defamation. In other words, saying that the commissioner and the other people said things about me, which they did with malice... there's no question the Golden Boy image at the very least is tarnished.

Matthew Stafford is not an upper-caliber quarterback who can win a championship

I never did gel with Stafford, and it is what it is. I don't think he's a great quarterback. He's not on that upper caliber quarterback that's going to take you to a championship. Or going to beat a winning team.

JJ Watt will stage a heroic rescue to fix his image in the next month

I wouldn't rule out J.J. Watt staging, saving some child from a burning building or something. If you hear a story in the next month that J.J. Watt ran into a burning warehouse and there were children and kittens and puppies and he saved them all, just be on the lookout for that. That's all I'm saying. I want to be a pre-truther to anything heroic that J.J. Watt does in the next six months.

Johnny Manziel should go to law school and become his own agent

Johnny Manziel is agentless. He should start going to law school, become his own agent, show that he can be a responsible adult. If Johnny Manziel was like yeah I'm starting night school classes law school night school classes tell me people aren't like wow Johnny really got his act together.

Jeff Fisher saved his job with the Rams by trading for the number one overall pick

I think Jeff Fisher might have just saved his own job because you can't really fire a guy when you draft a new quarterback.

Jeff Fisher is trading draft picks to the Titans to secure a future front-office job for himself in Tennessee

I predict that within like three years, Jeff Fisher is going to go back to Tennessee in some capacity. Whether that's like as a general manager or involved in some sort of ownership group because their ownership is still way up in the air. I think he's making a nest for himself. I think he's giving them all these draft picks to select like a decent amount of good players. And then that's his escape hatch in two years if it doesn't work out in LA.

Johnny Manziel should move in with Tim Tebow for the rest of the offseason

PR 101, Johnny Manziel move in with Tim Tebow for the rest of this offseason... Let Tebow work on them for a while. Talk about an odd couple. If you were to make that some sort of like pay-per-view reality show and charge $100 per episode, I'm in.

Concussions might not be real because the science isn't definitive

I don't know if they just all knew magically that concussions were like a real thing, which science is still out on that, by the way. ... And I'm not going to say that concussions are harmful until the NFL tells me. And Roger Goodell is not going to do that.

Johnny Manziel going to the Denver Broncos makes sense

We're the first people that we heard say Johnny Manziel would make sense in Denver. And I think we're now proving it. Von Miller and Johnny Manziel getting their act together together.

Chris Jones should be immune to traffic tickets because of his Combine incident

I feel like if you're the guy whose dick broke through his shorts just because he's running too fast you got to get a carte blanche on driving with a suspended license... I've got to side with Chris Jones on this and not the Police Lives Matter crew.

Woodpeckers prove that concussions aren't real

It always brings to mind the simple fact of nature that if concussions were real, don't you think that woodpeckers would have a lot of concussions? Don't you think woodpeckers have CTE? All they do is just like headbutt trees all day long.

I would consider playing on a $1 contract to see if I truly love football

I mean, it'd be an interesting experiment to see if I really love football. [A $1 contract]... I've been doing football drills and I've been in the gym ever since I got cut.

I could catch 22 passes in a season as a slot receiver for Tom Brady

I feel like this is like a suggestive knock on one of the greatest slot receivers of all time, Danny Amendola... But I might be able to catch, I'd say, 22 balls.

Chris Long would catch 85 passes in a season from Tom Brady

I think you're selling yourself short because you're extremely humble... I'd put you upwards of like 80, 85.

Matthew Stafford will be the worst quarterback in the NFC North without Calvin Johnson

Matt Stafford is getting paid a shitload of money, and now he's probably going to be the worst quarterback in the NFC North. And it looks like it's not going to get better for him, at least for the next three or four years, until they can get something good going out there.

I would take Jay Cutler over Matthew Stafford any day of the week

When you just basically said Matthew Stafford is the worst quarterback, which I agree with. I would take Cutler over Stafford any day of the week, but I appreciate you throwing me a bone there.

Johnny Manziel can be saved by the Denver Broncos

Johnny Manziel can be saved by the Denver Broncos. Von Miller has been talking about Johnny Manziel going to the Broncos... I'm pretty sure a locker room that just won the Super Bowl is going to be like, Johnny, don't fuck around. More importantly, Denver... is known as Menver because it's like 75% dudes... Johnny won't have as much opportunity for the ladies in Menver.

Roger Goodell is the best commissioner the NFL has ever seen

I actually wanna do the opposite of killed Goodell. I want to make sure Goodell stays in power forever. 'cause I love what he's done to the Patriots and he's just like a personal hero of mine. I think that he's, he's the best commissioner of the league's ever seen.

The Colts should have fired Chuck Pagano and kept Bruce Arians as head coach in 2012

My application to Bleacher Report was saying that the coach should fire Chuck Pagano and keep Bruce Arians as their head coach. And this was a season that he had cancer... And I was like, this is a results league and Arians is, is carrying the team and Chuck Pagano is costing them a fortune in medical bills.

Chris Jones should embrace his NFL Combine wardrobe malfunction and market himself as the 'big dick guy'

I think he needs to just run with us and totally embrace it and always be the guy with a big dick... show up to press conferences wearing like extremely tight [jeans]... capitalize on it and market himself as the big dick guy. Like he's, there's money to be made out there.