Takes

Conor McDavid's team-friendly contract was designed to make him easily tradable to a contender

This seems like it would be very easily tradable. Very, very easily tradable contract. He basically, I mean smart by him. If in a year and a half the Oilers aren't competing and he can go somewhere for a year and a half and it doesn't fuck up some team's cap.

The Oilers will win the Stanley Cup Finals in six games

Oilers in six. I don't wanna go to Edmonton for seven, maybe, maybe, but Oilers in six there.

Getting into a line brawl is the best way to shift momentum when you're losing a playoff series

As a hockey expert, my plan, whenever you're getting your ass kicked in a series and you wanna shift it around, just get into a massive line brawl at the end of that game and just try to change the energies up somehow.

The Oilers will win the Stanley Cup based on the historical pattern of rematches

Oilers Islanders. Gretzky lost the first time and then won second year. Crosby loses the first time to the Red Wings, second time comes back and wins. Now McDavid loses to the Panthers the first time. Second time I think I like the Oilers boys. I think it's coming home.

Mitch Marner will not be back with the Toronto Maple Leafs next season

[Mitch Marner] ain't coming back. ... he just hasn't lived up to what, not only he's being paid, but what the hype is in, in crunch time. ... my theory would be that you bring back [Nylander], you bring back Matthews and you can build around those guys. ... he won't be back. It sucks.

It might be Canada's year to win the Stanley Cup

I'm starting to think it might be the Leafs year. It might be Canada this year because we also had the Oilers win Tonight Game One against the Knights. And we have, so the Oilers are up one. Oh, the leaves are up one. Oh. And the Jets are still there.

The Capitals are going to 'skull fuck' Paul Bissonnette and the Maple Leafs in the Eastern Conference Finals

Paul Bissonnette, you better hope that you get your ass kicked in the second round because I wouldn't like nothing better than the skull fuck you in the Eastern Conference finals. And I will, I will skull fuck you. Tom Wilson will skull fuck you.

Alex Ovechkin might actually be 46 years old due to age technicalities with Russian players

The most amazing thing about the Ovy Gold chase is... He could be like 46 years old. Like you never know with Russians. So the fact that he's like, could be a little older is even crazier.

The Four Nations Face-Off final was equivalent to an All-Star exhibition game for Team USA

That term meant a lot... [Big Cat: You agree right, that was just the All-Star break?] I don't know if I answer that... Give's a shit about that. That's exhibition.

Winning a Stanley Cup in Canada would make me 'Captain Canada'

I think about it all the time... [PFT: It'd be Captain Canada at that point.] Yeah. It's made me think about it too much. But I feel like I have my whole day planned when we win.

Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final will go to overtime

I think it's going overtime, which I didn't think it ever happened. Somebody told me it did. It might've been in the twenties or thirties for all I know. But game seven overtime for the Stanley Cup. I feel like this season's been so crazy that it might happen tonight.

The Oilers will win Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals at home

I feel like they are, the Oilers are going to win game three at home though. They need the tits. They need the tits.

I want the Rangers to win Game 6 and then lose Game 7 in historic, embarrassing fashion

I would like the Rangers to win game six. And then lose in historic fashion [in game 7].

The Rangers will beat the Panthers in the Eastern Conference Finals

I'm gonna pick the Rangers... I think that the winner could be coming out of the east this year... if the Rangers can play their game, move pucks, break out clean attack... they will have a ton of success. And I hope they do. I 93, 30 years, I wanna see it happen.

The NHL is rigging the playoffs for a Panthers-Rangers Eastern Conference Final

I something's fishy with the NHL and and this Panthers team... They didn't suspend [Bennett], which is crazy... I don't understand why... The NHL is trying to rig a Panthers, Rangers Eastern Conference Finals. They much rather have that than Bruins-Rangers.

The Edmonton Oilers will steamroll the Vancouver Canucks in 5 games

I think that Edmonton is gonna steamroll Vancouver where Vancouver's lost their starting goaltender Thatcher Demko... I think it's gonna be a five-game series and then it's gonna be McDavid against MacKinnon again.

The Capitals would have won Game 1 if they could remove any three minutes of play

If you take out like three minutes in the second period, we actually tied this game. One. One. ... If you take out that 10 seconds and the two and a half minutes in the second period, the caps actually won. This game one nothing in a series where nobody thought that we could come within three goals of beating the Rangers.

The Dallas Stars are the best team in the NHL and a strong Stanley Cup future bet

If anyone else is gonna get it done, I think Dallas is okay. If you want to make a future bet, Dallas... Dallas is the best team in the league.

The Penguins faked the bobblehead truck hijacking because they forgot to order them

I don't think the bobbleheads existed. I think maybe I, I think that maybe there were no bobbleheads and the Penguins were like, fuck it's bobblehead night. We forgot to order these things... It's Jussie Smollett. It's Jussie Smollett bobblehead night. And they're like, well we don't have, oh yeah, the cops, we called the cops. They're looking into it right now.

The Maple Leafs will beat the Bruins in the first round and win the Stanley Cup

I am hoping that they draw Boston as a first round matchup... I feel if the Leafs end up matching up with Boston the first round. I think they beat 'em and then they go on to March to win the Stanley Cup.

The Edmonton Oilers will win the Stanley Cup

I picked the Edmonton Oilers [to win the cup]. The way the season starts, it's obviously not ideal... I pick the Edmonton Oilers.

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

I've got the B's avalanche. I'll go with you on the Avalanche Hank. I've got back to back. [Vegas] I've got the avalanche.

The Florida Panthers will win the Stanley Cup.

I picked Florida... now I'm at the point of like, alright, something special is going on here and the goal tending [and] what [Matthew] Tkachuk's doing. It's just leading me to think they'll somehow get it done.

The Seattle Kraken are for real and could win the Stanley Cup

No, they're for real. They just, so I, I didn't trust them against the Champs either. But Seattle is just such a disciplined team. They have all these castaway type players. I think Seattle could win it all.

The Maple Leafs' round one series win doesn't count if they get swept in the second round

Do we count the Leafs getting into the second round if they don't win a game? I don't think it counts. If they don't win a single game in the second round, I don't think they got to the second round.

The Islanders will win three games in a row to take the series from the Hurricanes

Win on Tuesday. Win on Thursday. Win on Saturday... blowouts happen all the time in the playoffs... we'll just do it.

The best value bet for the NHL playoffs is Igor Shesterkin to win the Conn Smythe

If you like the Rangers... the only way they're gonna win the Stanley Cup is if [Shesterkin] stands on his head, you take him Conn Smythe plus 2300. That's a good card. I like that.

If Connor McDavid doesn't win the Stanley Cup this year, he is a 'bum'

My big bet is gonna be on the Oilers... because I'm sick of you telling me how Connor McDavid's the best athlete in all of sports... this is a personal one-on-one legacy match... If he doesn't win the cup this year, he is a bum.

The winner of the Oilers-Kings series will reach the Stanley Cup Final

I said today on Chiclets that the winner of that series is gonna go to the cup final. Ooh. And LA right now... they're 25 to one... but the winner of that series goes to the cup final.

The Bruins are the greatest regular season hockey team ever and will dominate the playoffs

I'm all out on this team. This team is different. They're the greatest hockey team I've ever watched in the regular season. They're the greatest regular season team of all time. They're gonna dominate, they're gonna run through these playoffs.

The Colorado Avalanche will repeat as Stanley Cup champions

I think the abs [Avalanche] unfortunately will probably beat the Oilers again in the Western Conference final. And I'm picking the abs to win again.

The Tampa Bay Lightning will come back and win the 2022 Stanley Cup

Tampa is coming back and winning this thing really? But I've been, I've been on Tampa for the past two years. I've picked them the wind, the last two cups. And I picked them again this year. Cause I won't pick them until they lose.

The Lightning are perfectly set up to win the Stanley Cup if they win Game 4

The Lightning are set up so perfectly where they've done this now a few times in these playoffs where they start slow in a series. And so if they win Game 4, you're just going to be like, well, here it goes. It's happening again.

The Lightning will win the Stanley Cup because Andrei Vasilevskiy is the best goalie in the world

I lean towards goaltending. It's like having the number one ACE pitcher. It's like having the best quarterback, having the goal, the goalie that is the best in the world. It's like, how am I going to pick against that? I've honestly also said I will not pick against tip until they lose. I picked him to win the past two Stanley cups.

I want to bet on the Lightning to win the Stanley Cup despite being underdogs

The Lightning... I think I kind of want to bet on the Lightning to win this series. They just don't lose. Everything says that the Avalanche are the best team in the NHL, but then it tells me, guess what, the Avalanche, maybe I'll wait till the Avalanche win the first two games... and then the Lightning say 'all right, now we're going to start playing'.

The New York Rangers are the team of destiny

The New York Rangers are one game away from the Stanley Cup final let's go. Congratulations. New York. I just got vibes right now coming from New York Rangers. They feel like the team of destiny. They got the hottest goaltender in the planet.

The Hurricanes will win the series against the Rangers and finish them off at home

I knew they were going to lose tonight. I think they'll win [Game 5] and then they'll finish them up at home.

The Hurricanes will sweep the Rangers

Big Canes fan now. Canes in four. They can't lose at home.

The Maple Leafs will win Game 7 against the Lightning

The fear in the city of Toronto on Saturday morning, waking up is going to be at an all time high. ... I'm nervous for them, but I think they're going to win, but I'm very, very nervous.

I won't pick against the Lightning until they actually lose a series

I said I won't pick against them [Lightning] until they don't win. So I am on the Lightning. I want the Lightning, but I'm going to be very surprised if the Avs don't win the Stanley Cup.

The NHL is potentially rigged for certain ratings-friendly matchups

The whole debate that we were having last night about the NHL being rigged? Because I think that you're insane for not thinking... the NHL would prefer to have caps first penguins. One last showdown between [Ovechkin and Crosby].

This is the year the Toronto Maple Leafs finally figure it out

Leaf's are fine. They'll figure it out. That's the Leaf's year. I'm still confident in the boys up north.

I'm 79% of the way back to declaring the Capitals are going to win the Cup again

I'm having a hard time believing in these Caps as of eight hours ago. Right now I'm almost fully back. I'm like 79% of the way back to declaring that these Caps are different. That these Caps—it's our year again.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are 'fucked out' and will lose to the Maple Leafs

I just think they're fucked out. You know, when you just been fucking all night long and finally it's 6:00 AM and the sun's coming up and you're like, I'm blowing dust. They went back-to-back, man. A lot of hockey. Your central nervous system can only handle so much. I think that the Tampa Bay Lightning are done.

The NHL should use a 1-8 seeding draft where the top seeds pick their opponents

I would be okay if they ended up switching the patterns up. It would be the first seed selecting, starting with the first team, they would pick their opponent and then all the way through. I definitely think they should go back one through eight... and then reseed after the first round.

The New York Rangers will win it all because they finally moved on from Henrik Lundqvist

The narrative that I want get going ... now that the Rangers don't have Lundqvist anymore and they've got a clutch playoff goalie [Igor Shesterkin], this is what they've been missing over all the years. ... It's the Bryce Harper orthosis where after we got rid of him, then the Nats win the title.

I'm bringing the Stanley Cup to Canada by betting on the Flames and the Maple Leafs

My other cool throne is Canada because I've decided I put a future on the Calgary flames. I'm going to bring a cup to Canada personally... Leafs and flames... I just want to bring a cup to the fine people of Canada because I'm sick of them not having a cup.

I could last a two-minute shift in the NHL and score a goal by crashing the net

If we threw you out there, could you last a shift in the NHL? It's like two minutes, right? Yeah. I think I got that. I mean, yeah. I mean, for fighting for 30 seconds of this shift... maybe just crash the net, just get in front of them that, yeah. Push the goalie around and see, who's got the goalies back. It's a playoff goal.

The Maple Leafs will finally get over the playoff hump this year

I'm confident that they're going to be able to get over that edge this year... I've doubled down on my four skin challenge where I'm going to double down and you can chop my whole cock off and keep it if that fucking team can't make [a run].

The Blackhawks will return to the playoff picture this year

I thought they were the most improved team over the off season... Taves took the whole year off he's back. You got Seth Jones and then Fleury... I think the Hawks are back in the playoff picture.