Takes

A Bengal tiger would kill a Jaguar in a fight every single time

I just looked at AI and a Bengal would kill a Jaguar like a hundred out of a hundred times. A Jaguar does have one of like the the fiercest bites in the animal kingdom. The problem is the Bengal outweighs the Jaguar by like 200 pounds.

I will read one entire book in 2025 for the first time in a decade

I'm also gonna read a book. I haven't read a book in a decade. I'm gonna read a book... read with my two eyes. It might take me the entire year. I'm gonna fucking do it.

I bet $10,000 that I can dunk a men's basketball on a 10-foot rim by the end of 2024

I'll bet you $10,000. You can't do it by the end of the year. Yeah, I'll match... Men's basketball, 10 foot rim... Deal, deal, deal... I'm due to follow up on one of these things and make it happen.

Birds stand facing into the wind because they like 'adversity'

Did you know that? You can tell which way the wind is blowing by how birds are standing. Birds always stand facing into the wind. Oh, they like the adversity. They don't wanna get blown away too. Because if they, if the wind kind of gusts, then they just take off and fly away.

I will have abs and be benching 325 pounds by Memorial Day

Memorial Day this year. I say Memorial Day I'm gonna be in such good shape. I'm gonna have abs. I'm gonna be bench pressing 325. It's gonna be sick.

You can't appreciate a lighthouse if you don't go out to sea

It's good to get away from the lighthouse. It makes it that much better when you see it on the way back. You know, as any sailor knows, you can't appreciate a lighthouse if you don't go out to sea.

The Patriots' lighthouse is not a 'real' lighthouse because it's not visible from a federal body of water

It's not a lighthouse if it's not visible from a federal body of water... It's a fucked up stupid lighthouse. They call it a non-traditional lighthouse. A.k.a. not a lighthouse.

Max will lose 20 pounds by Memorial Day

Memorial Day. Memorial Day, losing 20 pounds by Memorial Day Max. We've, we've done this before, but we're doing it for real this time... I just want it to be on the record.

The 2022 picks punishment should be the loser has to complete a half marathon with no training

I might retract my veto on the marathon because it's not as bad as some of the other ones. Right? And I think it would be pretty funny to have to go to the Super Bowl and run a marathon with no training... [I am] now bowling kind of endorsing it.

Intentional losing is a valid strategy for the PMT road trip competition

I want to miss all these picks. So feel free to fade me. I'm taking the over though. Colts Jags 44 points... I don't know why you're upset that I want to go on a road trip.

I'm going to get jacked and start dressing like an adult in 2022

I'm getting jacked again and starting to dress more like an adult... Look what I got for Christmas... It's a satchel. It's not a backpack. Adult steps.

Arthur Smith is one of the best-looking coaches in the NFL.

I think you know what? I'm going to throw it out there. Arthur Smith. One of the best looking coaches in the NFL, I think it's like him and Mike McCarthy one and two.

Viagra is an effective pre-workout supplement for getting a pump

And sildenafil is for a pump. It just gets your veins... sildenafil is the active ingredient Viagra, but it's sick for pump.

Aliens come from the center of the Earth, not outer space

Honestly, there's aliens of courting the government but I don't think the aliens come from outer space. I actually think that they come from within the center of the Earth... they are beings at the center of the earth that are coming to the surface.

Bears in zoos do not hibernate because they have constant access to food and warmth

Animals in zoos do not hibernate. Bears in zoos don't hibernate if they have plenty of food and water and warmth. They don't hibernate. Hibernation is only in a state of cold.

Bears recycle their urine and feces into carbohydrates while they hibernate

They recycle their poop and pee while they hibernate... we don't poop and they turn it into more carbohydrates while they hibernate.

Wearing a 'PMT Karate Black Belt' shirt is the ultimate life hack to avoid fights

I have an idea it dawned on me... we are going to start PMT karate and sell the shirt... you according to us. We are the heads of PMT. Karate you listening right now. You have a black belt. Yeah, so you are not stealing Valor... No one will fight you. That's the whole point of wearing the shirt.

I will go to church every Sunday for a year if the Vikings win the Super Bowl

I should start going back to church every single every single Sunday for an entire year... if they [Vikings] win the Super Bowl.

The next Larry the Goldfish will survive for at least two or three days

I think this next Larry is going to survive for a while... I think there's a lot of things we can do differently with this Larry that will make him live for at least two or three days.