Takes

Lionel Messi has more God-given talent than Cristiano Ronaldo

Messi... Ronaldo's man-made, where Messi's God-given talent... Like Ronaldo's work for everything himself, where Messi was just given that talent, where when he's got that ball at his feet, it's like it's super glued to it.

Cristiano Ronaldo is the greatest soccer player of all time

Who is your goat in soccer? [Bolt]: Cristiano Ronaldo... from my experience from very far... Madrid, plus I know Manchester... Tom Brady proved to the world he's the one. Ronaldo proved he's the one.

It would be a shame if the US soccer team misses the World Cup again

I just wanted to say it's a shame. Just so that I'm on the record. I feel like some people think I'm trolling. I'm saying it's a shame if we don't make the World Cup again.

US Soccer will make the World Cup this year

I'm not down with the negativity from Big Cat. I'm not negative. Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. When was I negative? I said it would be a shame if we didn't make the World Cup. I think that this is the year. This is a year for US Soccer to... make the World Cup.

I don't want the Waterdogs to win the championship if it is played on an NFL Sunday

If the Waterdogs want to be the best dogs possible, they would lose in the semifinals. So we don't have to watch them in the finals... I don't want to have to be burdened with them on an NFL Sunday.

Nick Saban could make Alabama the number one soccer team in the world immediately

I know we joke, but if Nick Saban and the Alabama football team decided they wanted to be number one soccer team in the world, they would. Immediately. Zero training. Yes, they just would.

US vs Mexico is no longer a soccer rivalry because the US wins every time

I would actually go as far as to say that it's not even a rivalry. A rivalry implies that both teams win occasionally. And if you look back at the history of our last two League of Nations Golden Cups, it's just basically us showing up out there.

The U.S. women's soccer team sucks at soccer now

My hot seat is the U.S. women's soccer team because they lost and we stink... I tweeted about like, oh, we suck at soccer now.

The European Super League would have been sick and a great idea

I honestly kind of missed the idea of the super league. I, again, it's bad. We understand football's a sport. Everything else is a business, but super league would have been sick and low key. Imagine Man City against Barcelona on a Wednesday, like twice a year on a Wednesday that you would have. That's just a great idea. Great idea.

Gareth Southgate is to blame for England's Euro loss due to delayed substitutions

I think south gate [Southgate], I think you took too long to meet the changes because when you brought on stack off [Saka] is when they equalized... Sack [Saka] was 19. How'd you make it a 19 year old, 10 [take] the final penny [penalty]? How can you make a 19 year old?

Soccer should change the rules to prohibit scoring on a penalty kick rebound

I don't think you should be able to rebound a penalty in soccer... I just feel like you should get it if you miss it you miss it... If you miss it, you miss it. It's a fucking free throw.

Federico Chiesa is the next GOAT of soccer

That dude Chiesa, my guy Chiesa, he's the next GOAT. Like, we might be seeing a torch event happen in the next year, two years, where Messi passes that torch.

England will dominate Denmark and win Euro 2020

I think England's going to win. I think they're going to dominate Denmark. And I think that Italy versus England on [Sunday]... that's up in the air.

Harry Kane will miss a penalty kick for England in the Euro semi-finals

I like England. The problem with England is right now they, they looked convincing and they're winning against Germany... that is prime like Harry Kane's gonna miss a penalty kick in the semi-finals he's going to sky it. Like Baggio hit the moon with it.

American sports owners like Stan Kroenke and the Glazers tried to turn European football into WrestleMania

And in came the American sports owners... Stan Kroenke, who it's not clear to me actually knows he owns Arsenal... you've got the Glazers... and they've got ideas... it was a bit like that old sci-fi show V where we welcomed in the aliens who seem nice... to try and turn what is precious, what has grown over a century, just that evolution, the history, the traditions, and to try and turn that into WrestleMania was a bit dark.

The United States will win the World Cup in Roger Bennett's children's lifetime

The America will be world champions... in your children's lifetime.

Cristiano Ronaldo is not a top three Ronaldo

It's time that we have an honest conversation about Ronaldo. I don't even think he's a top three Ronaldo. You've got Ronaldo, you've got Ronaldinho, who is named Ronaldo... Fat Ronaldo. He's number six overall Ronaldo.

Federico Chiesa is going to be one of the best players in the entire world

Chiesa is going to be one of the best players in the entire world. I'm just putting an eyeball stamp on it. I said that last week. Then he had that awesome goal. Chiesa, Chiesa, Chiesa.

Football is 'coming home' for England in the Euros

All I'm saying about the Euros, it's coming home. Yeah, it's coming home. Something just very special about pasty white English fans ripping off their shirts... Football's coming home. And then they're going to lose in tragic fashion.

The USA is officially the best soccer country in the world because Christian Pulisic won the Champions League

The best player in the world played on the best team in the world... the best player on the best club team is American. Therefore, the USA is the best soccer country in the entire world.

The European Super League would actually have been sweet because of the high-level matchups.

The Super League kind of would have been sweet. ... Imagine if there was just a Wednesday, like every Wednesday afternoon, just the best teams in the world playing each other. ... would you watch because it's going to be sweet. They'd be like, yeah, I'd watch. ... It would have been fucking sweet.

The European Super League was a trial balloon that will eventually lead to it actually happening.

It's going to happen. The Super League's going to happen. This was a trial balloon that they sent out there.

The Premier League should rebrand as the English Super League to prevent future breakaways

If the Premier League is smart, they'll just rebrand as the English Super League. And then nobody can ever cuck them out of that again.

America deserves all the credit for killing the European Super League

In order to kill something so evil as the Super League, you have to create it. So shouldn't Americans get credit for creating something that the world can get behind and [kill]? We did this. We created and killed it, so we deserve all the credit. Specifically this show and generally America.

European billionaires will try to create a Super League again in two years

When this was all put to bed so quickly, they're going to try this again in two years. They're going to learn from what happened this time, and they're going to do it in the dead of night.

The European Super League will destroy every club soccer team below the elite level

The richest teams in Italy, Spain, and England... are going to create a league where they're basically doing away with the Champions League. Why would we share money with everyone when we can make a super league and we get to keep all the money... it will therefore basically destroy every club soccer team below them in all of these countries. It's going to ruin the game of soccer.

The European Super League will happen because money makes the world go round

I think this could happen, blood, because when you check the levels, Arsenal are owned by an American, Stan Kroenke... Liverpool, John Henry, American... the Glazers... JP Morgan saying he's going to put $6 billion into this team... And money makes the world go round, bro. You understand? Money. If you have money, you have the power.

Mikel Arteta should be fired as Arsenal manager

I am Arteta out... He needs to fuck off. If [Kroenke] doesn't spend enough money, then he needs to fuck off... This is the lowest we've ever been [as a club].

The US soccer team needs European coaches to reach the next level

I think you need better coaching. So European coaches coming over here will help you... You have to spend money on grassroots... Because, like it or not, we're the ones that understand the best football. We've got the philosophies.

US Soccer is 'back' and will be a threat in Qatar 2022

US soccer's back big time... Gio Reyna scored an amazing goal... him and Pulisic are tearing up European soccer. So I'm confident in the U.S.'s chances in 2022 in Qatar.

Chris Paul would easily be a top three or four US men's soccer player

Chris Paul's personality makes you forget how good a basketball he is because he's the worst anytime. Yeah. Well in the nuts anytime the guy shit, but he's awesome... I still think he would be Top three top for US men's soccer player. Yes easily.

Messi is better than Ronaldo because he is better at cheating on his taxes

Messi is probably got like a billion... He's better at shooting us, he got away with cheating on taxes for longer than Ronaldo did. Rinaldo you bitch. Messy has one, two, three, four, five, six golden boots. Count the booties.

Lionel Messi will eventually play in Major League Soccer

Why doesn't Messi go to MLS? ... He's like 33. Oh, you're right about that time. He would fucking wreck the MLS. They should just give Messi an MLS team. ... I hope he does eventually come to the MLS. I'm sure that he will in like seven years once he's totally washed up.

The MLS is a Ponzi scheme

I don't understand how they can keep adding teams. It is a Ponzi scheme. Because you just pay the existing owners and the talent isn't there to keep up.

Christian Pulisic is wasting his talent overseas and should play in the MLS to grow the game

I'm squatting on a take right now and that is getting mad at Christian Pulisic for not playing in the MLS. If he truly cared about American soccer, he would be over here... more people are becoming Chelsea fans than they are Charlotte FC.

Calcio Storico makes all other sports look lame

I went into this being like 'this might make rugby look bad' and then I went out of it being like it makes every sport look bad because every sport is just lame compared to this. It's just Fight Club with a scoring element. It really does make all other sports just like... hockey guys are going to watch this and be like, 'whoops, we thought we were the tough sport.'

Soccer is boring because you cannot use your hands

Soccer... simple, just because any sport that you can't use your hands, that's like 50% of your body and the stuff that are much more important and you can't even use it. You're just running around, at most you're scoring one goal. It's boring as fuck.

I would take over and coach US Soccer

I will take over US Soccer. I would be the coach of US Soccer... You automatically get to drive an Audi. That's part of the deal... I would like that.

I am done with U.S. Men's Soccer after the loss to Canada

Just when you think it couldn't get worse, we lose to Canada. ... I'm done with the U.S. soccer until they start fucking just doing anything. ... I'm done being embarrassed. I want them to be good.

Freddy Adu was going to save American soccer

I'm going to have to go with the goat Freddy Adu and we still don't know. He still could be great true... he was the first one I went to his very first game. DC United. I was there he got in after like I don't know 70 minutes. I was like if he's really good. He's probably be starting. That was my first clue. Yeah, but maybe he wouldn't be great.

Christian Pulisic stunk in his Chelsea debut and might not be ready for the bright lights

I watched the whole game. He stunk. Is he not ready for the bright lights?... I'm just going to say, as someone who was ready to declare this the biggest moment in USA soccer history, yeesh, maybe we have to start getting the narrative that he's not from America.

US Soccer audited finances prove the women players earn more than the men

My hot seat is people who think U.S. soccer is sexist and doesn't pay the women enough. Because our good friend DR came out with a tweet today where he showed that the women – U.S. soccer responded for the first time ever with what shows that their independently audited finances that show that their women players actually earn more than the men.

Rose Lavelle will be the next USWNT superstar for the next eight years

Here's my hot take about Rose [Lavelle]. She's going to be the next superstar for the women's national team for the next, like, eight years... I'm saying that she's the next Alex Morgan, Megan Rapinoe.

Tim Howard is the greatest male U.S. soccer player of all time

I would say the greatest, the greatest male U.S. soccer player. Landon Donovan, Kobe Jones, Alexi Lalas, [Dempsey], [Dempsey], Freddie Adu. That's it. That's the list.

The USWNT vs France matchup is essentially the World Cup Final

But this is, I'm going to call it, this is the World Cup on Friday [France versus U.S.]. Whoever wins this match [wins it all].

VAR is ruining soccer and we should go back to just complaining about refs

My other fire fest... is robots. Especially VAR robots in the World Cup, in the Women's World Cup. It's ruining soccer. It is absolutely ruining it. I'm actually the mindset that I'm out on instant replay across the board. I think we've gone too far. Fuck the robots. We need to complain about refs.

The awarding of the World Cup to Qatar was definitely not above board

The former president of FIFA was arrested because it turns out the awarding of the World Cup to Qatar or Qatar may not have been above board. Oh, you think? No doy.

Sweden will be the toughest opponent in the USWNT World Cup group

Sweden, they actually usually... that's who knocked us out when we were in the Olympics. So I would say that they're gonna be they're probably gonna be the toughest one.

Alexi Lalas has the most smug face in national sports media

Alexi Lalas looking like a smug prick on national television. It's Alexi Lalas season, and that means that he gets to stare into the camera after every single game looking smugly like he kidnapped your dog... He's back in a bit. He's got the most smug face, I think, on national sports media these days.

I honestly thought I could be a Premier League goalie with one year of training

I swore I could be a Premier League goalie. And she's [my girlfriend, Kealia Ohai] a soccer player. So I was like, give me one year to train. I think I can do it. So she goes, okay, come to the field... She smoked a ball past my face so fucking fast. And I was like, no chance. You can give me five years to train. No chance.