Takes

The Bears will score fewer than 13 points against the Rams and the game will go under 47

My under is the Bears-Rams, 46 and a half. I don't think the Bears are going to score 13 points. ... Add all those so bads up, that's an under. ... Give me 47.

Gonzaga will win the National Championship

I'm going to take Gonzaga. I think they're going to win. I think it's going to be an awesome game.

Loyola Chicago will reach the 2021 Final Four

Loyola has a path to the Final Four here that's not that hard. So you should have put them higher because now it's going to happen. They're going to get to the Final Four.

Arkansas will 'kill' Oral Roberts in the Sweet 16

Oral Roberts, Arkansas. Arkansas is going to kill them. Must bust all the way.

Syracuse will defeat Houston in the Sweet 16

I think Syracuse is going to win on Saturday night [against Houston]. Me too. [Jake Marsh] Houston should not, like, Rutgers blew that game. I'm all over Syracuse, too, because, like, the zone. That's what you need to know.

Creighton will upset #1 overall seed Gonzaga in the Sweet 16

I think they're [Gonzaga] getting upset. Yep. Against Creighton? Yep. With the P-word [Greg McDermott's plantation comment]? Yep.

Alabama will reach the 2021 Final Four

I think I got to go Bama. It might just be because we interviewed Nate Oats. That actually might be what pushed me over the top. But I think they've just been scoring too. Like, 96 points against Maryland, to me, that made me feel like Alabama might reach the Final Four.

Mick Cronin wasted the 'dad hug' momentum by seeing his father in the first round instead of the Sweet 16

The whole storyline of not seeing his dad, not hugging his dad for two years... he used it in the first weekend. He should have brought his dad out for this weekend. Then they win this game. I truly believe that. They're showing Hep Cronin in the stands and being like, man, after this game, they're going to get the hug. They somehow find a way. A dad game is a game changer.

My Final Four picks: Gonzaga, UConn, Illinois, and Arkansas

I have Gonzaga, UConn, Huskies are back, Illinois. And Arkansas. That's my Final Four.

I'm betting the over on a half-interception for Tom Brady in the Super Bowl

Tom Brady over a half of an interception. So he's got to throw one. I think he's going to throw – I think Tom Brady's going to play well, but I also think he's going to take his shots.

Tails never fails on the Super Bowl coin toss

I usually go with tails never fails. ... It's tails. I'm betting tails. There you go. Tails never fails.

Aaron Rodgers will eventually become the full-time host of Jeopardy!

I actually think that Aaron Rodgers is going to eventually be the full-time host of Jeopardy. I think he's going to be, after he retires, I think he will. I think Aaron Rodgers is going to like doing it too much, and it combines all his favorite things: mustaches, being smarter than everybody, and letting everybody know that you're smarter than them.

The Bills will win the AFC Championship, possibly convincingly

I said it on Monday, and I'm sticking with it. I think the Bills are going to win, and I wouldn't be surprised if they win convincingly.

The Bills defense is good enough to prevent the Chiefs from 'flipping the switch'

If they spot the Bills 17 points, that's going to be very, very difficult. It's not the same as playing against a Texans defense that can't stop anything or a Titans defense that was slightly fraudulent.

The Buccaneers will lose to the Falcons because of special teams COVID issues

To me that seems like this seems like a heartbreaking type loss for Tampa Bay, special teams, the most important of all the units... it's not ideal to go into a division game against an opponent that loves to play extremely close to match-ups... and then have your kicker and the person that hikes the ball to your kicker beyond the IR.

The Falcons always manage to beat the Saints once every season

I actually think the Falcons are going to win this game. The Falcons always beat the Saints once. They always just do it.

The Tennessee Titans stink right now and the Ravens will beat them easily

I actually think Baltimore wins, and I think they win easily because the Tennessee Titans, they just stink. Listen, I got a lot of shit for saying that back in September. I was wrong. I'm mad enough to admit that I was wrong about the Tennessee Titans. They stink right now.

A parlay strategy involving five underdogs has a 50% likelihood of profit

I plugged in 32 outcomes, and then once each outcome happens, you see how much money you stand on winning in that moment... this actually has a 50% likelihood of being positive.

Ryan Tannehill is a great quarterback, but he still actually stinks

Ryan Tannehill still stinks. I don't have anything beyond my eyes that told me that he still deserves not to be honest my guts right. It's my guts that are telling me that he still stinks. I just I still don't trust him. I've never trusted Ryan Tannehill... he is just been delaying the stinking.

Daniel Jones is JaMarcus Russell 2.0 because of his turnover rate

Daniel Jones and JaMarcus Russell had the same player in terms of turnovers... I will bring you know what I want. I will bring that exact same energy starting this weekend Daniel Jones. I'm going to run with that but is he is JaMarcus Russell 2.0.

The Rams are winning the Super Bowl

the biggest winning Super Bowl the revs winning the Super Bowl. Yeah, I want on the record. Really. Yeah. Wow, but you don't like golf. I love Jared go. You said you hated to no one of my best friends in this world... Jared has the experience. Aryans he's been there before this time. He's gonna get revenge.

The Seahawks defense is soft

I'm going to say that I think that the the Seahawks defense I'm going to use the S word. I think they're soft. I'll link their sauce sauce. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry, you know, what's terrible, you know, I'm doing right now. I'm giving side I to I'm throwing shade. Yeah all the s words for Seattle's defense know they're really I think that the Niners come out and just absolutely take their soul from them.

The Eagles will win the NFC East with a losing record like 3-5-1.

The Eagles win the NFC East at like 3-5-1. The Eagles, they should have stopped playing right now. Yes, 1-2-1 is good enough to get you top of the NFC East.

The Dolphins will upset the Seahawks in a low-scoring game

I think something funny is going to happen here... I think that the Dolphins could do this, they could win and like a 19 to 14 game.

I am betting a front-runner parlay on the Yankees and Lakers to both win titles this month

I might put a front-runner parlay down and go Yankees, Lakers, the Cowboys, Alabama football, and Duke basketball this year. We're going chalk.

The Bears will beat the Giants by 10 points in Week 2

I'll say it for you. I think the Bears win this game by 10 points. I'm very nervous for this game. But I'm nervous for every Bears game.

The Jets are the 'disgusting' underdog pick of the week against the 49ers

I kind of like the Jets here... Once having the same thought and everyone's betting the 49ers... this is going to be my dog of the week. It's the hold your nose. This is disgusting. You're going to hate yourself at like 1:35 on Sunday when it's 17 to three 49ers, but you're not dead yet.

Bird Alert of the Week: The Washington Football Team will beat the Arizona Cardinals

I have the Washington football team and this is my bird alert of the week... the Washington football team is going to take out a second flock.

The Packers vs. Vikings Week 1 game will go under 45 points

My under is the Packers Vikings under 45 lock it up.

The 'Can't Lose' Parlay: Eagles, Colts, and Bills money lines will all hit

I have my can't lose parlay the first one of the year. It cannot lose. Eagles, Colts, Bills money line. There's no chance that loses. It says it right in the name... Eagles Colts bills moneyline cannot lose.

I might get an NFL call-up as a 'camp leg' based on my XFL kicking film

I'm also thinking that there's an outside chance that with what I've put on film already and what I will continue to put on film, maybe I get a call for a training camp for an NFL team. Maybe I'm a camp leg... They need camp legs. I'm not worse than Vinatieri. I'm a better kicker than the greatest kicker of all time.

Alex Ovechkin is officially better than Wayne Gretzky now that he has 700 goals

Ovi just scored his 700th goal. ... I'm predicting. I'm going to be at the Caps game on Saturday night. I'm going to see him score two more goals. ... And then it's going to happen. Now he's officially better than Wayne Gretzky.

Deebo Samuel will score the first touchdown of Super Bowl 54

I'm also going to make a bold prediction. I think that the Niners are going to hit them with a play-action bomb on the first drive... It's going to Debo [Samuel]. He's going to Debo for six. First score Debo Samuel for six points.

I am a better kicker than the kickers at Alabama

Alabama could do a lot worse. Dude, I'm a better kicker than Alabama. Saban would have another chip if he had you as a kicker. That's a fact.

I'm betting on the Titans to cover the spread against the Chiefs

I'm betting on the Titans. ... Against the spread, not straight up. Seven and a half, seven right now, actually. Yeah, I'm betting on the Titans right now, but I'm rooting for the Chiefs.

The 49ers, Ravens, and Chiefs money line parlay is a can't-lose bet

The 49ers, the Ravens, the Chiefs. Parlay them all, plus 105 on BetMGM, even money everywhere else... How does that lose? I don't see a way that it does.

The Buffalo Bills will beat the Houston Texans 17-10 on Saturday

The final score will be 17 to 10. Yep, and the Buffalo Bills will win. Whoo. Okay, put it in stone.

The Patriots will beat the Titans easily and make everyone look stupid

This feels like one of those games where everyone is going to talk themselves into the Patriots being done... they're going to beat the Titans easily and everyone's be like damn we Feel stupid.

Xavier Rhodes is going to get torched and be terrible in the Wild Card game

Can we just get Xavier Rhodes' name trending before the game because it's going to happen. He's going to get torched and get mad about it. So we should like pre-trend him so that everyone just knows like hey, here's a heads-up Xavier Rhodes is going to be terrible.

The Eagles are my lock of the year against the Seahawks

I'm taking the Eagles because it's Tony's it's my Tony Danza lock the lock of the Year. Okay. I mean, I'm not an idiot. I'm going to also take Tony Danza.

Jameis Winston will record a touchdown, an interception, and a fumble on Saturday

The special famous Jameis hat-trick: Jameis [Winston] to record over a half a touchdown, half an interception and a half a fumble. I love that one.

Take all the unders in late-season NFL divisional games

I feel like late in the season divisional just take all the unders. I know that sounds crazy. I know overs are more fun. But these two teams know each other.

The Chicago Bears will beat the Kansas City Chiefs outright

I like Chicago. I like the Bears to win outright. How do you think they will ya fuck with me? I that's my entire logic behind. This is to just give you a victory that you can't do anything with.

Kirk Cousins cannot win games in California

Cousins can't play on the Left Coast though. He is something like 0-8 in California.

The Bears will beat the Packers because Hakeem Hicks is returning and the Packers aren't ready for cold-weather football.

Hakeem Hicks is back because it's cold. There was a big boy football this time of year for big boy football. And I don't know if the Packers are ready to play Big Boy football just yet... Hakeem Hicks being back I think is going to be [the difference].

The Rams are a lock to beat the Cowboys.

My favorite is the Rams. That is the Lockwood lock of the week. Jared [Goff] has found it. They have bounced back. They're going to be making that push.

The Raiders will win their final home game ever in the Black Hole because the crowd will be awesome and the Jaguars have quit.

The last home game ever in the Black Hole versus a team that has completely quit going across the country in Jacksonville, give me everything for the Raiders. That's the last game ever that's going to be an awesome crowd.

The Buccaneers will finish 8-8 and franchise tag Jameis Winston

My favorites the Bucks. I think the Bucks are going to finish 8-8 I do. I think Jameis is going to get franchise tagged. I do, I hope so I really do.

I'm loading up on the Bears for Thanksgiving because David Blough is starting for the Lions

I think I'm going to load up on the Bears, especially if [David] Blough's playing.

I love the over in Bills vs. Cowboys on Thanksgiving

Fellas, I love this over. This is going to be my over of the day. Because you've got to have at least one over on Thanksgiving. It's a lot going against Buffalo. Buffalo on the road. Different defense at home. Very good defense on the road. Maybe not as good. And also, teams have been able to run a little bit on the Bills. Guess who the Cowboys have? Zeke.