Takes

Jared Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

The Rams are the favorites to win the NFC

I don't know what the odds are right now, but [the Rams] feel to me like they might be, in my mind, the favorite to win the NFC.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

The Cleveland Browns will cover the 10-point spread against the Buffalo Bills

I do like the bills, but I think the Browns might cover... I like the Browns at the very least in the first half of this game. I like 'em to cover 10 points.

The Kansas City Chiefs should just quit for the rest of the season since they are already eliminated

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit.

Colts -4.5 vs. Texans is a suspiciously low line that favors the Colts

I'm gonna take the Colts minus four and a half. I feel like the, that that's, that's a field goal line. Why is it four and a half? They know something.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed

Mahomes is washed. Washed. These two days under 500 he's washed.

The Commanders will win 'decisively' against the Chargers

This is a must win decisively game. I think that, I think we can win this game decisively. Commanders minus six and a half. Yeah. You should take that. I'm in, I'm in on it. I trust in Dan Quinn. Dan's gonna get it figured out.

I am betting the Patriots Moneyline to beat the Bills

I can I take the Patriot's money line? ... At some point, Drake Maye's gotta do it. I'm gonna go Patriot's money line. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, let's go.

I am worried that Terry McLaurin has a serious core injury

I've become worried about Terry [McLaurin] though. Yesterday it comes out, he's getting a second opinion on a quad injury. And I would imagine that if the first opinion was good news, he probably wouldn't be like, Hey, let me make sure I'll go get a second opinion. And then did a, a little bit of digging... the doctor that he's seeing for the second opinion is a core injury specialist. Mm. Like sports hernias.

The Patrick Mahomes 'conversation' will be triggered if the Chiefs lose badly to the Ravens

At what point do we have to say there's maybe Mahomes isn't what he was... This is the conversation game. If they lose and it's close, then it's not time for the conversation. Right. But we will have a definitive answer after this game. Yeah. We'll give you your answer on Sunday night.

Spencer Rattler will get his first NFL win as a starter this week against the Seahawks

I think, I think they're gonna win. [Spencer Rattler] is gonna get his first win this week. First win as a starter.

The Buffalo Bills are going to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl

Bills have the easiest schedule now. Undefeated. Would it, wouldn't it be funny if the bills went undefeated? It's week one. I'm not gonna overreact, but I think that the Buffalo Bills are gonna go undefeated. Win the Super Bowl.

Patrick Mahomes might be washed

Mahomes might be washed. He just discussed, he didn't play great at the end of the year. They choked in the Super Bowl.

Jalen Brunson is the next 'Can't Win The Big One' guy in the NBA

How about this one? Hank, you're gonna like this one. Jalen Brunson. Mm. Does that do anything for you? Yeah. Not clutch at all... I'm trying to predict where the narratives are gonna go next... The Knicks were built to beat the Celtics this year.

Lamar Jackson will win MVP because of standalone games, but Josh Allen deserves it more

Lamar [Jackson] might win it just because he plays two standalone games. And that's all this award ends up coming down to... I think it should be Josh Allen. But I also understand that this award becomes narratives.

I bet $5,000 on the Philadelphia Eagles to win the Super Bowl

I put a bomb future down and I put it on the Eagles. I almost five have five grand on the Eagles plus four 50. That, that I almost biggest, that'll be the biggest bet I've ever won.

Mike Vrabel and Josh McDaniels will be the next New England Patriots coaching duo

Vrabel McDaniels... that's the combo. [Josh] McDaniels had Mac Jones in the Pro Bowl... give me Vrabel and McDaniels and I am pumped.

Tua Tagovailoa will destroy the cold weather narrative against the Packers

I'm, I'm kind of in on Tua though, being a destroyer of narratives... for whatever reason, the fact that Tua talked about it, I think I'm in, I'm, I think I'm in on the Dolphins winning a game [in Green Bay].

The Colts will keep it close against the Lions

I actually think the Colts are gonna be in this game. I don't think the Colts are gonna win this game, but I think they're gonna keep it close. And it might be the dumbest thing ever. But I'm, I actually, no, I haven't, I haven't been bad. I just think seven and a half Colts really need these games.

The Patriots are the team nobody wants to play in the AFC East

I think so. Usually the, you know, with the Patriots, it's like all the trends reversing the Dolphins have always been like the boogeyman even when the, when Brady was there and the Patriots are good. This is the trend weekend reverse in our favor.

The Cardinals are for real

I'm ready to fully believe in the Cardinals. I might crown their asses. I just know the Cardinals feel like a very sound football team through and through off the bye week. Their eyes are there. They have the NFC West. If they could string together some more wins, especially in the division, they're undefeated in the division right now.

The Ravens' offense is unstoppable

I think the Ravens I believe are gonna be there no matter what because their offense feels unstoppable.

Doug Pederson will be fired after the Lions game

This is Doug Peterson's firing game. It's a bye-week next week. Trevor Lawrence is hurt. Mac Jones is going again... If you're gonna fire Doug Peterson in season, it's going to be after playing the Lions going on a bye week. That all just kind of tracks, right?

The Jaguars +14 against the Lions is the NFL makes no sense game of the year

I think so. This is like, this is the 'NFL makes no sense' game of maybe the year... NFL makes no sense. There's not like stats behind it. I am very close. But that, but it happens every year. There's always games where it's like, how the fuck did the Lions lose to the Jaguars when the playoffs come?

Saquon Barkley will rush for 200 yards against the Cowboys

I've been saying everywhere that Saquon's gonna run for 200 yards. 'cause it, I mean, the Cowboys can't stop the run and it's just gonna be bully ball by the, by the Eagles.

Aaron Rodgers is currently top five in every major passing statistical category

Aaron Rodgers still top five in everything right now... touchdowns top five... yards top five... [I must have looked at it before they updated it].

The Commanders will lose their Week 9 matchup against the Giants

It would be very funny if, and I feel like the commanders are gonna lose this game. Yeah. Really. So Giants are gonna be, you're in your hungry dog thinking about it. Yeah. Wow. I honestly, I think the Giants are a good bet this week.

The Titans will cover +11.5 against the Lions in a major let-down spot

The Lions for the first time in franchise history are now the odds on favorites to win the NFC... This is the first time that they are a double digit favorite under Dan Campbell. They just came off a very emotional two weeks where they killed the Cowboys, beat the Vikings... I'm not saying that the Lions are gonna lose this game. I'm just saying 11 and a half is a lot of points... it's a let down spot of let down spots.

NFL Week 7 is a massive trap weekend for favorites

Just remember that on Monday it was reported that it was the worst weekend Vegas has had in like 20 years. It was one of the best weekends for favorites of all time. So this is a trap weekend. Watch out. Don't fall for the traps.

Jerry Jones should trade Micah Parsons to reload on draft picks

If I were Jerry Jones, reload on draft picks and trade Micah Parsons. You have to pay him and your problem right now is it seems like you have lack of depth going forward. What's gonna happen yet? You locked up Dak, you locked up CD, you're gonna have to pay Micah Parsons. You could probably get a lot for him.

Mike Tomlin is starting Russell Wilson to prove he's bad and go back to Justin Fields

Mike Tomlin, a man of his word, is like, I know I have a better chance with Justin Fields, but I promised Russell Wilson he's the starter. He's gonna throw him out against the Jets to basically have him suck. And then he's gonna be like, 'See, you guys told me I need to start Russell Wilson. I told Russell Wilson it wasn't his job to lose. He sucks. Justin Fields!'

The Cleveland Browns will beat the Philadelphia Eagles

Browns money line. Eagles are bad. The vibe in that stadium is going to be horrendous. They're going to get booed within one incompletion. No one expects anything out of this Eagles team. The Browns are going to win.

The Dolphins should start tanking for the #1 overall pick

The only team that I could say confidently that should tank as of right now is Miami Dolphins. Yeah. I think that's the only team I would say you should tank. 'cause you're gonna need a sit... because Tua, you can't, you can't say that he's gonna go through a whole season.

The Bears will beat the Colts because Caleb Williams will have a breakout game

I think this is the week [against the Colts]. I think the Bears are gonna run it down their throats... I think this is the week that the offense looks good. I think the Bears are gonna win... Caleb Williams is gonna go off against the Colts.

The Panthers will be a competent team this season

I love the Panthers in this game just because I, it's my, my rule of you're never as bad as you were the last year... I don't think the Panthers are be good. I think they're gonna be competent. Okay. Which they weren't last year.

Washington will win the Big 10

Washington Huskies plus 8,000... I'm gonna go with the conference, our local conference. The big 10, little long shot.

Miller Moss will win the Heisman Trophy

I'm gonna go with Miller Moss, USC. They play LSU week one. I think it's actually the Sunday game. So it's gonna be a standalone game if he comes out and balls... I also am high on USC this year simply because they got rid of Alex Grinch, the worst defensive coordinator of all time.

CJ Stroud will lead the NFL in passing touchdowns

I'm gonna go passing touchdowns. I know that some people might say sophomore slump. CJ Stroud plus nine 50. I mean, Stefon Diggs, Nico Collins, Tank Dell... that offense is gonna be explosive.

Breece Hall will lead the NFL in rushing touchdowns

I'm going to go with rushing touchdown leader Breece Hall. Plus 1800, plus 1900... Aaron Rogers should play more than five snaps this year... I feel like Nathaniel Hackett's gonna get him the ball inside the five.

Garrett Wilson will lead the NFL in receiving yards

I'm going Garrett Wilson. Oh, at 14 to one. Garrett Wilson has had a really good, he hasn't been a big touchdown guy, but he is never really had a big a quarterback like Aaron Rogers. I think that that's good value.

Aaron Rodgers will lead the NFL in passing touchdowns

I'll change mine to Aaron Rogers. 16 to one... He's gonna feast against the Patriots. And he's, they're gonna do the perfect amount of handing the ball off in the goal line. Jets might score a billion touchdowns.

Drake Maye looks short on film and the ball looks heavy in his hands

Drake Maye... This was the biggest, the biggest deterrent and, and the thing that I see happening the most, the ball seems very heavy in his hands... It just seems like it takes him a long time to get the ball up and out... [He] looked short in the film that I was watching.

My best-case draft scenario is drafting Marvin Harrison Jr. and trading up for Michael Penix Jr.

If it were up to me. Marvin Harrison, Jr. Trade up Michael Penix. That's, that's my best case scenario draft... trade up to... get Penix Jr.

NC State will beat Purdue on the money line in the Final Four

The DJ Burns shirts we just put on sale are, are so far that I I have to bet NC State money line. Yeah. I have no choice. You know what? Fuck it. And rooting for Purdue is just so, so it's so fun to root against them. I just have to do it.

Marquez Valdes-Scantling will score the first touchdown of Super Bowl 58

Are we so happy with Valdes-Scantling? [Big Cat: Okay, down. It's in.] Now that's gotta be a big number. Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown.

I am betting $5,000 on a Kyle Juszczyk anytime touchdown and Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown parlay to win $1 million

I'm gonna parlay [Kyle] Juszczyk anytime touchdown with Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown. Five grand to win $1 million. Done.

The Cleveland Browns will beat the Houston Texans in the Wild Card round

I think there's maybe a little, like, you might get into a point where it's like, as great as CJ Stroud's been this year, this is a different animal. And this is a different beast. And this is a team that's, that's completely different than the teams that they've been beating down the stretch.