Takes

The Marcus Jordan and Larsa Pippen relationship is MJ's final revenge on Scottie Pippen

I just imagined MJ being like, did you hear all that shit about Scottie saying that LeBron's better than me? Go hit up Larsa. Yeah, let's, let's start this relationship Dogs. That's tough.

A backup quarterback taking over is only awkward if the players make it awkward

I told him like two weeks ago, the only way this situation's gonna be awkward as if we make it awkward. So, you know, it's, it's both of us wanna play. Only one of us is gonna get to play.

The Dolphins have a master caution light blinking regarding their kicker

This is their blinking light that, that we're not making a big deal about right now. It's like a master caution light is going off in the corner. It's gonna create problems for you down the road when you're playing in serious games that matter. Because that guy [Jason Sanders] stinks.

Russell Wilson would be the worst quarterback in the NFL to take drugs with

I actually think that Russell Wilson would be the worst quarterback in the NFL to take drugs with. Oh my God, any drug doesn't matter. Like, can you imagine Russell Wilson on cocaine? How fucking annoying he would be... He would two seconds in be like, Do you guys feel it?

I have zero faith in Dak Prescott to win a big game

I also just, I don't know if, and this game wasn't on Dak, I just don't, I I don't have like a ton of faith in Dak as a big, Do you have a ton of faith in Dak as a big time quarter? Like win a big game guy? I do not have a ton of faith in Dak.

Lamar Jackson is better than Michael Vick

I don't need Michael Vick to tell me that this dude [Lamar Jackson] is gonna be better than Michael Vick. And was there no room for improvement for Lamar once he got to the league? Like how did so many teams fucking miss on that?

Carson Wentz was not the problem in Indianapolis; it was everyone else

I think I actually take Carson Wentz's side in the breakup. Because like they remember how much they bashed him and were like, he's not a leader. He's the reason we lost the Jags. Now that we've moved away from it, you know, eight months and we've seen some more stuff. I think Carson Wentz was not the problem. It was just all the other guys.

Connor McDavid is the most dominant pro athlete in the world right now

Conor McDavid is the best pro athlete right now... Conor McDavid dominates hockey more than any other athlete in the world dominates theirs.

Ayahuasca has given Aaron Rodgers too much perspective to be a successful quarterback

I think there are certain jobs that you should not want to have a lot of perspective if you're performing them... he says how like he's gained a lot of perspective how this year it's like, it's, it's great to see the people that I get to go to work with... If you're an NFL quarterback... you should probably be a perspectiveless psycho.

Dimitri Bivol might be one of the best pound-for-pound fighters of all time

I think Bivol might end up being one of the best pound-for-pound fighters of all time in the world. Maybe in of all time... honestly, for his legacy, which he deserves, I think he needs to fight Canelo again at 168.

Never bet on Tom Brady in a night game

The Tom Brady day verse night thing is very real and he is old. And so since he's gone to the Bucs, he's 22 and 12 against the spread at daytime and he's two and 11 against the spread at nighttime. So we gotta just make sure we never bet on Tom Brady at night again.

Anything done during the pandemic should be forgiven (Pandemic Amnesty)

My cool throne is pandemic amnesty. Turns out anything you do during the pandemic, we're all gonna forget about and forgive each other. I think anything should be forgiven. Like anything. No, but whatever it was, forgive me for it.

No NFL quarterback has a closer connection to their city right now than Josh Allen has with Buffalo

I don't think there is a closer connection quarterback to city right now than Josh what Josh Allen has going on in Buffalo. ... I don't think there's anyone right now [above him].

95% of NFL games are lost, not won

There was a great quote by Ian Eagle during the game. ... Ian Eagle said 95% of games in the NFL are lost and not won. ... I still don't know what the fuck he was talking about, but it makes sense.

If Matt Nagy had utilized Justin Fields' running ability, he would still have a coaching job

I'm gonna say something really crazy. If Matt Nagy was smart enough and he had run Justin Fields like they're doing the last few games, he'd probably still have a job.

Todd Bowles is a bad head coach

Todd Bowles sucks as a coach. I'm sorry. He sucks. They get so many penalties. It's so many dumb things.

Defensive linemen are systematically overpowering offensive lines across the NFL

[Chris Simms] thinks that we've gotten to the point in the NFL where the defensive linemen are so good, they just overpower the offensive lines. And there are so many good defensive linemen and there's so much value placed on pass rusher that they are just systematically overpowering.

Tom Brady's marriage issues began because Gisele didn't know he was flirting with the Dolphins

There's a theory in league circles... that the issues with Tom Brady and his wife blew up when the league announced the punishment of the dolphins because of the flirtation with Brady. Cuz she had, as the theory goes, no idea he was talking to the dolphins about playing.

Bill Belichick cannot hold his staff accountable because of nepotism with his sons

[Belichick] has got two kids working for him. And if one of those kids needs to be fired, he can't do it. And that makes it impossible for him to hold other people accountable. I think that's the root of where things kind of got wobbly... if you can't hold your kids accountable, you can't hold anybody accountable.

Pete Carroll is not a good in-game coach

I feel like D'Amico is a very good endgame coach. And Pete Carroll, I don't think is a very good in game coach. I think Pete Carroll is, he has got a lot of strengths, but in terms of adjustments and being strategic with things like challenges, time out, stuff like that. He's not even in my top 10.

Jim Nantz's plan to retire from calling games but still do the trophy presentation is bullshit

I think this is kind of horse shit what he's doing. I think you have to either get out the Final four or all the way. Yeah. Or you're in it all the way. Yeah. You can't just say, I'm not gonna announce the game, but then kick it to me for the trophy presentation and that's kind of bullshit.

The Bears' win over the Patriots was my favorite Bears game since 2018

It was probably my favorite Bears game that they've played since probably 2018 against the Rams on Sunday Night Football when we almost made our good friend Jared [Goff] cry because it was so cold and that defense was awesome.

Kyle Schwarber brought leadership to the Phillies similar to Darren Daulton

Dave Dombrowski said something the other day about Kyle Schwarber and he said Kyle Schwarber, when he walked in that clubhouse reminded me when he traded for Darren Daulton when he was with the Marlins in 97... He said, when Darren Daulton walked in that room after getting a trade, he said, we had a leader. And I think Kyle Schwarber has, and he compared Kyle Schwarber to Darren.

Patriots fans booing Mac Jones was a bad sports town move

The fact that Patriots fans were booing Mac Jones who played well last year, took us to the playoffs and was a first round draft pick and then were chanting for Bailey Zappy. That's a bad sports town move. Ooh, that I did not like that at all.

Matt Patricia is to blame for Mac Jones' struggles because the offense was designed for Bailey Zappy

I think the situation is much worse. I think it's Matt Patricia's fault... Mac Jones may have started in taking all the starting reps and practice, but the type of offense that the starting offense was running in that first drive was really a Bailey Zappy offense... that scheme was very different to anything they were running last year. And with that, that's because they were playing to Bailey Zappy's skill.

The 'Washington Football Team' was the best name the franchise has had recently

I feel like the coolest name was the football team. I mean, I thought that was, I like that one the best. Yeah, I mean, Commanders was cool, you know, hopefully we can keep this thing rolling.

Russell Westbrook's shot selection is only getting worse because of the criticism

You know, that old drill tweet like keeps screaming at me. It only makes my opinions worse. Yeah. That's what's happening with Russell Westbrooks jump shot. Yeah. Everyone's telling you, everyone's booing you and trying to get you to stop shooting... it's actually just making Westbrook shoot the ball more often.

Aaron Rodgers is blaming his teammates for the Packers' struggles

Guys who are making too many mistakes shouldn't be playing. Gotta start cutting some reps. So it's not his fault, it's his teammate's fault.

The Padres made a huge mistake not bringing in Josh Hader to face Bryce Harper in the NLCS

And I mean, Harper the biggest at bat of his entire career... They don't bring in Josh Hader to face Harper, which I think was a huge mistake even though Suarez had pitched extremely well. It's like you have the best left-handed guy ready in the bullpen and he's on fire.

The Yankees are a bad franchise

Congratulations the Red Sox, the Phillies, the Cubs and the Nationals have all gone to the World Series and the Yankees have not... That's a bad franchise. No hiding from it. It's a bad franchise.

Being LeBron James' teammate is the most difficult job in the world

Being LeBron's teammate has to be like the most difficult job in the world. Not on the court because LeBron is obviously one of the best all time on the court... But it's, every time you lose, it's someone else's fault. Every time you win, it's, LeBron did it.

The MLB Division Series is too short and should be seven games

I think the division series is too short though. Ooh, I don't understand. I don't understand why you play 162 and then it's gotta be five games. I think the, the better team would win out more often in a seven game series.

Yordan Alvarez is the best hitter I have ever had to scout

We've faced Yordan [Alvarez] this year. He was, he's the best hitter I've ever had to advance scout. Whoa. I'm talking about covering all the pitches, hitting lefties, everything. He's the best hitter I've ever had to had to scout.

Modern truck auto-stop engine technology is dangerous and poorly designed

Every time you stop, it'll go to a full stop, the engine turns off... The thing is the car has to turn off and start back up again. And if people know, like the more miles you get on a truck, the more times you start a truck, the engine's gotta turn over... It happened to me in a busy ass intersection and I couldn't get the truck back started... putting people like myself in danger.

Russell Wilson is a mentally broken man

I think yes, there is [something wrong with Russell Wilson]. I think mentally he's a broken man.

Alternate jerseys are for franchises with no history

Alternate jerseys are for franchises with no history. That's, I'm gonna say that that's a take.

Draymond Green glorified assaulting his teammate in his TNT mini-doc

He managed to turn him almost killing one of his teammates in a disgusting move... and then has a show on TNT where he like made it, he like glorified it. Basically he glorified himself assaulting his teammate and looking so like immature, childish and just bad.

The rats run New York City, not the humans

I think the rats run the city. If you have to say that [the rats don't run the city], I think the rats run the city.

Harambe would record at least seven sacks a game in the NFL

You gotta take Harambe, right? I mean the strength to weight ratio is just way higher than humans. That's, I mean that's a easy seven sacks a game I'm sure.

The Dodgers' 2020 World Series title doesn't count

The Dodgers have not won anything. We can We agree The bubble, the bubble championship didn't, didn't count.

The Big 12 is the toughest conference to win on the road

When I first got to Baylor, Roy Williams said, toughest league to win on the road, you gotta win your home games. And I think that's so true in the Big 12... it is really hard to win on the road in the Big 12 and there's no feeling like when you get a road win.

A 'motor' is the most important attribute for a basketball recruit to have

I think it's something a lot of coaches wish more players had nowadays and that's a motor. And if a guy really plays hard, competes every possession, they're gonna get better.

West Virginia is a basketball school

I asked Scott this question, I'll ask it to you too. West Virginia, a basketball school or a football school? Basketball school. I think that's tradition.

Patrick Mahomes should be the all-time Monday Night Football quarterback

I do think that [Patrick] Mahomes should just be all-time quarterback... Mahomes is going to play on Monday Night Football every week until they lose. And then the team that beats them deserves to get the Monday Night Football crown.

Ben Simmons should stop shooting because every miss becomes a viral mockery

I now am starting to understand why Ben Simmons just doesn't shoot because he, he can't shoot. And every time he does shoot it becomes a viral moment... why would I shoot when I know that it's not gonna go in and people are gonna roast [me]?

The Browns are now officially 'the Chargers'

I think that the Browns are the Chargers. The Browns have taken the Chargers label from the Chargers. They're the most Chargers team in the NFL taking that crown from I guess the Chargers.

The NFL's new 'wobble rule' will lead to players staying on the ground to avoid being spotted

This is so classic NFL because now every single coach is gonna teach their players: Just stay down for an extra second. Get yourself together and then stand up or have a lineman that goes and picks them up and like holds them for a second so they can't visible wobble.

I prefer Bailey Zappy over Mac Jones right now

Currently? As it stands right now? [PFT: Zappy meal or Big Mac?] I, I gimme Zappy meal. Flavor of the week is Bailey Zappy. I'm eating.

The roughing the passer call against Tom Brady was the worst call in NFL history

I think that roughing the passer call sucked. Do you think that was the worst call in NFL history? I think it might be the worst call in NFL history.

Aaron Donald is the best non-quarterback in football

I think Aaron Donald is the best player in football that's not a quarterback. Quarterbacks are, are always going to get the, the notch above because they touch the ball every play. He's the best non quarterback in nfl.