Takes

Sign stealing is the most American thing you can do

If we hadn't stolen signs in World War II, we'd all be speaking Japanese. Sign stealing is the most American thing someone can do.

I can take Quenton Nelson in a fight

[Big Cat]: You versus Quenton Nelson. Who wins in a fight? [Darius Leonard]: In a fight? I'm with me. Yes. I'm a competitor... Yeah, I can take him. It's not the size of the dog that's in the fight, but the size of the fight that's in the dog.

There is a 50% chance I get signed to an XFL contract

Let me say, I think that there is actually like a 50% chance that I do get an XFL contract, that I am signed to the XFL. I'm going to find out on Wednesday night and be able to report on Thursday morning what happened.

Clemson should have the nickname 'Tigers' revoked

Clemson, I think that we should revoke the nickname Tigers from them. Yes. They're no longer the Tigers. They got out Tigard. I think that I'm going to pick up the trash can a second we should call them the Elder Oaks... right now LSU is the official Tigers.

Alex Cora should get a lifetime ban just because it sounds 'juicy'

Alex Cora, I'm not in favor of a lifetime ban, but I am in favor of hearing the term lifetime ban. Oh, yeah. Definitely. It's awesome hearing Alex Cora has been issued a lifetime ban from baseball. Like I don't think that he deserves it and what I deserve to hear that... there's nothing more satisfying than just like when you read the words lifetime bans.

Lamar Jackson might simply not be able to get it done in the playoffs

He just might not be able to get it done in the playoffs. Peyton Manning, another MVP caliber quarterback, couldn't get it done in the playoffs [early on]. It might not just be like that he has weaknesses in his game. He's clearly the MVP. He just might not be able to get it done in the playoffs.

Roger Goodell will try to engineer a Chiefs vs. Packers Super Bowl for the 100th anniversary

Roger Goodell is absolutely smashing the nut button on the prospect of a Kansas City Chiefs-Packers Super Bowl rematch of Super Bowl I in the 100th year of the NFL. Doing a major stay woke on that one. If Roger Goodell would be the kind of guy to pull any strings behind the scenes... [he] is absolutely going to try to engineer that.

Josh McDaniels staying in New England is a beta move

Josh McDaniels is back in New England... He brought his wife with him to his interview. Kind of a beta move... Apparently, they went out for lunch at some country club with Haslam... and it was a guys-only place. So his wife had to go out to lunch [elsewhere].

The Titans will win if they have a single drive over 11 minutes long against the Ravens

If the Titans have a single drive that's over 11 minutes long, then they will win this game.

I will go to church every Sunday for a year if the Vikings win the Super Bowl

I should start going back to church every single every single Sunday for an entire year... if they [Vikings] win the Super Bowl.

Mike McCarthy is just a fatter version of Jason Garrett

It's a great hire for Jerry Jones because he basically just hired a fatter Jason Garrett. Do you think Mike McCarthy's going to steal the show in Dallas? Do you think he's going to make the headlines?

I think Tom Brady is going to sign with the Tennessee Titans

I think he's going to the Titans. Because of Vrabel. They've got a running back. They've got a good team. They've got salary cap.

The Patriots dynasty is not over despite losing to the Titans

The season is finished. The dynasty is not done. ... I don't see Brady going anywhere else. I understand that it's the first time in his career he can do whatever he wants, but realistically, it's one of those things where you can do whatever you want, but you don't want to leave your job.

I would rather have a bad quarterback than draft Tua Tagovailoa

I don't want to deal with the bullshit media for like a year being like Tua and Tua and Tua. ... I'd rather have a bad quarterback than a good quarterback. ... A Big Ten, some Big Ten, or like random MAC quarterback.

Derrick Henry would rush for 400 yards in an NFL game if given 57 carries

If he played the worst team in the NFL, he could probably get, if he ran him 57 times, he could probably get 400 yards.

Sean Payton will leave the Saints for the Dallas Cowboys and take Taysom Hill with him

Ooh, what about... You think what I'm thinking? Sean Payton. Sean Payton just lost today. It's true. He's been linked. He's got family in Dallas. ... Taysom Hill goes with him. Like Al Pacino and Willie Beeman.

Jerry Jones will fire Jason Garrett at halftime of one of the wild card games

I actually think at this point he will fire Jason Garrett like at halftime of one of the wild card games just so that we can talk about it or he might just give him a contract extension on the 14th.

Ryan Tannehill is not afraid of Tom Brady and the Titans will win

I'm taking the Titans. Okay, I think that Tannehill is the one quarterback that is not afraid of Tom Brady. He's beaten him four times... now we got Tannehill he's going to go in there. I think that the Titans are going to win.

The Eagles are my lock of the year against the Seahawks

I'm taking the Eagles because it's Tony's it's my Tony Danza lock the lock of the Year. Okay. I mean, I'm not an idiot. I'm going to also take Tony Danza.

Jameis Winston's entertainment value to the NFL is worth over $30 million a year

I actually think that as far as entertainment value goes [Jameis Winston's] worth for the NFL is worth well over 30 million dollars. Yes because of what he delivers to the fans if he doesn't get 30 million, I will pitch in I will help Jamis get up there to that point because he's worth every penny.

The Packers will win 'ugly' and make the Super Bowl

The Packers look terrible in the first half they obviously came in and won... but they're going to fucking go to the Super Bowl. I just feel it in my bones. I just know it. I know they don't have the one seed anymore, but they're going to win ugly games.

Terrell Owens and Calvin Johnson were better than Larry Fitzgerald

Tio's better than Larry Fitzgerald. I'm sure someone will show me numbers. I watch both guys play I'd put Tio in there... Calvin Johnson was better than Lou Fitzgerald Calvin Johnson didn't make the top [100]. I agree with that. I think Calvin Johnson Calvin Johnson and Tio were better.

The Big 12 should be banned from the College Football Playoff for a year

I want to do right now here now say that Oklahoma deserves a one-year ban from the college football playoff... the entire Big 12 done out here band for the Big 12 out out. I can't I can't do it.

The Cowboys are an absolute joke and worse than a fraud

The Cowboys are a joke. They are an absolute joke... Worse than a fraud. Because a fraud would imply that they are good but fraudulent. A joke, I don't even want to fucking spend time with them.

Hell is a self-imposed condition you create within yourself

Hell is what you make it within yourself. So hell is a self-imposed condition... hell is really something you create yourself. The difference between organized religion and spirituality is organized religion is built for people to be afraid of hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there.

Golf takes too long and should be reduced to 14 or 15 holes

Nobody wants to spend five and a half hours out there... Literally, I would just make it like 15 holes, 14 holes. Because then you get to go in the 19th hole a little bit quicker.

No matter how smart you think you are at 20 years old, you are actually an idiot

No matter how smart you think you are, you're an idiot... This is why everyone older than you hates you, because they all went through the exact same thing where it's like I got everything figured out, and then you just realize you don't. And it doesn't mean you're not smart. It doesn't mean you're not creative... [but] you can't have any of this perspective that you're going to need.

Ben Roethlisberger is tough as hell but often exaggerates the severity of his injuries

It's a lot of injuries Seven [Roethlisberger] shouldn't have played. But he's just a tough... That's what makes Seven seven... And there's probably a lot of other injuries that... Seven, man, come on, man, stop all that BS... So you're going to have the boot on on Monday, but Tuesday you're going to be all good.

Taysom Hill will be overpaid by a rival team to be a starting quarterback

Their theory is that Sean Payton wants somebody to overpay for Taysom Hill when he becomes a free agent to be a quarterback. And so that's why he keeps letting him throw the ball so that one of his future rivals will have a bunch of cap space tied up in Taysom Hill.

The Seahawks should sign Marshawn Lynch for the playoffs

I've got an idea. Marshawn Lynch. Bring him back. Sign Marshawn Lynch and LeGarrette Blount... Marshawn could be talked into going back to Seattle. It'd be incredible.

The movie Cats will release a new version next week to exploit its own failure

I'm a little bit woke because it is getting people talking about the movie Cats... what they're doing is they're taking the movie back. They're re-editing certain scenes and sending an entirely new version out next week. So now the people that already saw it are going to want to go back and see it again.

I am putting a future bet on the Cowboys to win the Super Bowl

Before we tape this podcast, I put a future bet on the Cowboys win the Super Bowl. And it's really good odds. Yeah. I mean, we just saw it last week. So that's what's freshener mind.

The Chicago Bears will beat the Kansas City Chiefs outright

I like Chicago. I like the Bears to win outright. How do you think they will ya fuck with me? I that's my entire logic behind. This is to just give you a victory that you can't do anything with.

Analytics ruined the Cleveland Browns

You know, the analytic thing is obviously it's trending right now. We saw what it did for the Browns a few years ago. It ruined the organization because that's what they stood behind. But everybody's interested in that. And basically, analytics are all based on past, based on history.

I will fight anyone who is genuinely mad about John Rothstein's texts

If you have a problem with John Rothstein texting good luck and most of the time getting left just completely ignored by the coach, come fight us. I will actually punch somebody... open invite to anyone who is mad about this genuinely mad. If you have to actually be mad, we will fight you.

Pitchers should be required to finish the entire inning they enter

I actually think they should go one further and a pitcher gets in the game and they have to finish the inning. Because it would be so funny watching a pitcher just die out there and give up a million home runs.

Jameis Winston is a Hall of Famer

He's a Hall of Famer. No one else has done that [throw back-to-back 450-plus yard games].

Urban Meyer would be a bad NFL head coach

Urban Meyer in the NFL makes no sense to me... He would be bad. He would die... Urban Meyer would be Saban in the NFL. No different.

Bill Belichick intentionally created the Bengals filming controversy as a rallying cry

[Bill Belichick] thinks that this was specifically ordered by Bill Belichick to have it become a controversy so that he can then reverse it and use it as a rallying cry to fix the Patriots' problems. he thinks this was specifically ordered by Bill Belichick to have it become a controversy so that he can then reverse it and use it as a rallying cry to fix the Patriots' problems.

Sam Pittman is a panic hire for Arkansas

Sam Pittman is who you're talking about. He's the Georgia O-line coach. That is a panic hire for Arkansas. I saw his face. I was like, that's not a head coach. That's not a head coach.

The Bears will win out and the Vikings will lose out

The Bears gonna win out and the Vikings are going to start losing out. So I'm not worried about the Rams as much as a Viking just falling flat on their face.

The Packers are a little bit fraudulent

I feel I feel like the Packers are a little bit fraudulent. Oh, welcome to yes the right side of History SHINee. It took only beating the Redskins by five points for me to realize that. Hey, maybe they're not that great of a football team this year.

Lane Kiffin will eventually coach at Alabama

He is he's gonna end up being like the coach of, Alabama... This is it feels like this is his second to last spot... he's very clearly looking at something else and I think that something else is Alabama.

The Bears now have a 75% chance of making the playoffs

I must say the Bears now have a 75% chance of making the playoffs.

ACC is the worst conference ever and Clemson will make the playoff even if they lose

The ACC is the worst conference ever and yeah, Clemson makes the playoff if they lose, for sure. Clemson's biggest opponent will be boredom because the rest of the ACC sucks.

Jerry Jones keeps Jason Garrett around just so he has someone to lie about firing on the radio

Jerry Jones keeps him... because he loves going on the air and and lying that he will fire his coach... The more you keep people distracted from the real issues, probably the better overall you are if you have just a lot of skeletons in the closet.

NFL kicking will improve in 10 years because kids are giving up on American soccer

In 10 years kicking will be back because they all be like 'we suck at soccer, I'm not playing soccer anymore.' The giving up of soccer... any kid with a giant leg right now is 'fuck this, get this futebol shit off my television.'

Tom Brady looked 'dead' and scared against the Texans.

Tom Brady looked kind of dead tonight. He looked like he was the one seeing ghosts. He was very scared of the Texans' SWAT team linebackers.

The NFL should revoke the home playoff game for the winner of the NFC East.

Take away a playoff game. Take away the home playoff game from the team that wins the NFC East. They don't deserve it.

Nick Foles is an average-to-below-average quarterback who stinks despite his Super Bowl win.

If you took out his 27 touchdown, two interception year, he's played 44 games. He's had 44 touchdowns and 32 interceptions. He stinks. ... He is completely average to below average at his profession, but he has reached moments where he has been exceptional.