Takes

Purdue will win the National Championship as a redemption story similar to Virginia in 2019

I love love, love love Purdue. Revenge... The UVA formula. And what, what didn't UVA win the next year? Yeah. It's happening again.

There will be no doinked field goals or extra points in Super Bowl 58

No fucking doinks. Oh no doinks. We're running it back. I got doinked big time last year and I just realized I'm talking about Moody and even his makes are close to being misses. And also last year it was Butker. But he's a good kicker. There's no chance he double doinks. No chance. So what I'm doing is I'm going to have my vengeance on the doink from last year. And I'm going to double my bet this year and go, no doinks.

Marquez Valdes-Scantling will score the first touchdown of Super Bowl 58

Are we so happy with Valdes-Scantling? [Big Cat: Okay, down. It's in.] Now that's gotta be a big number. Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown.

I am betting $5,000 on a Kyle Juszczyk anytime touchdown and Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown parlay to win $1 million

I'm gonna parlay [Kyle] Juszczyk anytime touchdown with Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown. Five grand to win $1 million. Done.

The Cleveland Browns will beat the Houston Texans in the Wild Card round

I think there's maybe a little, like, you might get into a point where it's like, as great as CJ Stroud's been this year, this is a different animal. And this is a different beast. And this is a team that's, that's completely different than the teams that they've been beating down the stretch.

The Kansas City Chiefs will beat the Miami Dolphins because Tua Tagovailoa cannot play in the cold

I don't see Tua winning this game... the stats that you had for Tua, you can just watch Tua when he plays in the cold. He looks very uncomfortable going on the road. Arrowhead is like one of the top two or three hardest places to play... I think I'm gonna take the Chiefs.

Travis Kelce to score a touchdown is the Super Wild Card prop of the year

Travis Kelce scored touchdowns plus money now. And the dolphins are not great guarding the tight end. And I do think that like when you get to the playoffs, Patrick Mahomes will be like, who can I trust? Travis Kelce's the guy I can trust.

The Pittsburgh Steelers will beat the Buffalo Bills outright

I like the Steelers moneyline... You hate all our friends. You hate our futures. It's gotta be a dog that wins.

Nuclear missile whale play on the Packers vs. Cowboys over

I think I might make this a nuclear missile whale play on the over... I don't know how the Packers are gonna stop the Cowboys. And I also don't really know how the Cowboys are gonna stop the Packers 'cause Jordan Love's been that good... I like this over a lot. 50 and a half.

I am switching my pick to the Detroit Lions over the Los Angeles Rams

I said Rams all week... and I've switched... I'm betting the Lions. I'm gonna take the Lions just because I don't want to make blood money off the Rams winning... I think the Lions are better.

The Steelers will beat the Bengals in Week 16 because of their culture

This feels like to me and also no Jamar Chase for the Bengals and DJ reader, which will be very important in my opinion. This feels like the Mike Tomlin Steelers era is on the line. This is for the culture because it's, it's an underdog game at home. No one thinks the Steelers are good. They're very banged up and I think they're gonna win this game.

Bryce Young will win Offensive Player of the Week in Week 16

I think Bryce Young is gonna get offensive player of the week. Oh. Because the last two quarterbacks that the Packers have played against have done Offensive Player of the Week, baker Mayfield. And then the week before that Tommy Devito. Yeah. So, Bryce Young, next up Player of the week.

The NFC will win the Super Bowl

NFC will win the Super Bowl. ... Should just take the Niners to win the super Bowl even though it's a terrible lineup.

The NFL will eventually host a Super Bowl overseas

They are trying like damn hell to get a Super Bowl overseas and we have to stop it. So let's all not watch the first quarter next year of all these games.

The Vikings will beat the Bengals because Brian Flores' defense will confuse Jake Browning

I kind of like the Vikings in this game. And I like him because Brian Flores... is doing stuff that people can't even figure out with his defense zone. Blitzes just... he's doing a lot of multiples... I think that this is gonna be Jake Browning's first test. True test because the Colts and the Jaguars aren't great defenses. The Vikings have been playing like a great defense.

You must bet the Steelers to bounce back against the Colts after losing to the league's worst teams

The Steelers just lost to the Cardinals and the Patriots. Two of the worst four teams in the NFL. Mitch [Trubisky] looked really bad. The Steelers have looked really bad. You have to bet the Steelers. That's the vibe. The harder they bounce back.

Every NFC South coach who doesn't win the division will be fired

Whoever wins the NFC South will not fire their coach going into next season. Agreed. Every other team will... I'm not saying that they should... we can say the entire NFC South is coaching for their job.

The 49ers will beat the Eagles this Sunday, but the Eagles will win the NFC Championship rematch

The Eagles have the defense... played 92 snaps on Sunday. That's a lot of snaps... I feel like the Niners have this game circled more than the Eagles can. And I think that like, this will be the NFC championship game in the Eagles will probably beat them in the NFC championship game. But I feel like this Sunday it's Niners.

Israel Abanikanda is set to take over the Jets' backfield.

Izzy season? Izzy, the running back. They released Michael Carter and they're giving Izzy a shot. The bills can't stop the run... I'm gonna have to bet on him to score fucking a Memes.

You must bet on the Dolphins in the Germany game because of the Chiefs' late travel

I would love to bet the Chiefs, but the travel is so far in my head and we've seen it... the Chiefs are getting into Germany. Like right now they're practicing one time. They're practicing on Friday. One time McDaniel got the guys in there on like Monday or Tuesday... We bet the dolphins we're betting on the clock.

Taylor Heineke will keep the Falcons starting job over Desmond Ridder

I think Heineke is gonna take this job. So if Heineke plays well then Arthur Smith will be like, well you know, we gotta ride. We gotta ride the hot hand for a little bit and then we'll go back to Ritter once Heineke starts stinking. But no, I think Heineke is gonna take this job.

Bill Belichick to the Commanders is a real possibility

Josh Harris wants a big splash. He wants a big name Coach Belichick probably at the end of his tenure in New England. Why not get him to dc? He can coach lacrosse at the Naval Academy. Annapolis is like 30 minutes from FedEx Field... I think these conversations are happening.

Antonio Pierce will provide an immediate 'interim coach bounce' for the Raiders

I love the Raiders in this game. 'cause Antonio Pierce feels like it's the perfect interim head coach bounce... Antonio Pierce feels like it's the perfect interim head coach bounce except for the fact that the guy calling the plays now for the Raiders... is from the Adam Gase Coaching Tree.

You have to bet on the Packers against the Vikings because Minnesota is coming off a high

The Vikings just beat the Niners on Monday Night Football in front of the world. They're going to play at Lambeau against a very stinky Packers team. You have to bet the Packers.

I am betting the Patriots money line to beat the Dolphins

Are you gonna bid on Money Line? Yes. Have to.

Bryce Young will play well and the Panthers will win their first game against the Texans

I think Bryce Young's gonna look good today. I think the Panthers might win their first game of the season.

Aiden O'Connell will be a future starting quarterback in the NFL

I have a take. I think Aiden O'Connell might be a future starting quarterback in the NFL... I saw him against the Chargers. He looked good.

Mac Jones will not make it through the Bills game without being benched

[Big Cat]: Do you think Mac Jones makes it through this game? [Hank]: No.

Devin Witherspoon will put the 'absolute clamps' on Ja'Marr Chase

I dreamt that [Devin] Witherspoon was going to put the absolute clamps on Ja'Marr Chase in the game. I dreamt a post-game press conference with Ja'Marr Chase being frustrated with him asking him if he was always open this game. I had the entire thing. So I'm betting the under on his receiving yards this week.

Andy Reid will be considered the GOAT coach if he stays with Mahomes

I think that the 'Andy Reid is the greatest coach of all time' will eventually be a conversation if he stays in Kansas City. Because Bill Belichick without Tom Brady, his record has not been great. If [Reid] coaches for another eight years and you have Patrick Mahomes, that's like 12, 13 wins a year. That's a lot of wins. Andy's gonna go for Shula.

The Rams will finish with over 7.5 wins this season

I've launched a nuclear missile on the Rams season win total. It's over seven and a half right now... They've got two wins already. They play a lot of winnable games for the remainder of the year. It was minus one 14. It's my biggest bet of the season so far.

The Eagles will beat the Commanders by 25 points

Congrats Max. I'm just going to give it to you. 25 point win for the Eagles this week. The defensive line is going to eat. I blame 40% on the offensive line, 40% on Sam Howell, and then 20% on Tony P in DC.

The Chiefs will throttle the Jets because Taylor Swift is attending

Chiefs are going to fucking throttle them. The fact that Taylor Swift is going, the chiefs are going to fucking throttle them. And the chief's defense has not been talked about, has been very good this year.

The Commanders are a Super Bowl team if they beat the Bills in Week 3

If they [Commanders] win this game, I'm almost thinking soupy [Super Bowl] Big Cat. That's how delusional I'm getting. Why not us?

Justin Fields' best effort likely won't be enough for the Bears to beat the Chiefs

I do think they're [Bears] gonna give their best effort, but unfortunately for them, their best effort's probably not gonna be enough [against the Chiefs].

The Bengals will 'right the ship' and beat the Rams in Week 3

I'm gonna take the Bengals minus three. I actually think this is the Bengals week to right the ship. I've been the Bengals whisperer... now's the time.

The Ravens are my Super Bowl pick for this year

I think I'm gonna take the Ravens, but I don't know what their price is right now. I think it's like 22 to one. I think that's gonna be my Super Bowl pick this year.

I'm betting big on Kirk Cousins and the Vikings this year

I went hard on the, on the Vikings. Ooh Vikings. Okay. Feeling a little bad about last year. I'm back. Yeah, I'm back on Kirk Cousins.

The Celtics will sweep the Sixers

I'm ready for a sweep... Celtics in four or five. I think it's gonna be Celtics in four or five.

Hendon Hooker will be the best quarterback of the 2023 draft class

Hendon Hooker wins... I think Hendon Hooker has the best combination of falling to a bad spot and having good enough talent to like make it in the long run.

NBA Finals Prediction: Celtics over Suns

Celtics Suns. [PFT]: I'm gonna say Sons win. [Big Cat]: All right. Celtics sons.

NBA Finals Prediction: Suns over Bucks

I'm gonna go Bucks Suns... I'm switching back. I I'm going suns bucks again. Because that would be funny if like the suns clinched before the Celtics Bucks series ends.

NBA Finals Prediction: Nuggets over Bucks

If it's not the suns, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna stick with my nuggets. My nuggets over Hank's Celtics... Nuggets over the bucks.

NBA Finals Prediction: Warriors over 76ers

I will go with Warriors over Sixers and the City of Philadelphia completes the superfecta of second place.

I am going to break 120 in golf this off-season without cheating

I think this is the off season that I get really into golf... I'm gonna break 120 before, and not by cheating. I'm not gonna cheat except on maybe one water hole I'll cheat on one water hole. But besides that, I'm gonna do it straight up, just clean as can be.

There will be no 'doinks' (hitting the uprights) on any field goal or extra point attempt in the Super Bowl

I'm taking no doinks. The field goal on an R and extra point. If there's a doink, it pays out What? Hank plus 410, 420... I'm no doinks so I'm loading up and I think it's minus 540 on the Barstool Sportsbook.

Total players to attempt a pass in the Super Bowl will be over 2.5

Total players to attempt a pass over two and a half plus one 30. Yeah. And you have the added bonus this year of both quarterbacks being a little dinged up. So that, I mean there's gotta be a trick play.

A player will record an 'Octopus' (scoring a TD and the following 2-point conversion) in the Super Bowl

I also like this one... there to be an octopus. Yes. Plus 1150. I'm going, yes. An octopus is a player scoring a touchdown and then scoring the next play, two point conversion.

I am betting $8,500 on the Eagles to be a good friend to Big Cat

I've decided, I'm going... I need to be a good friend. Would a good friend root against his buddy to lose $200,000? No... So I've decided... I'll put 8,500 on the Eagles.

Kadarius Toney will score a touchdown against the Bengals

I think Kadarius Toney's gonna score in this game. Reid's gonna break out some weird trick play that we haven't seen before... it's gonna be like, 'Kadarius Toney, the reason why we brought you here is you're a difference maker. Go do it.'