Takes

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl

Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. Guaranteed. Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. That's, I I believe it end the season. Tip of the pinky. If the Falcons somehow win this game on Monday night, I have to also have the Rams.

Jay-Z picked Kendrick Lamar for the Super Bowl halftime show just to spite Drake

Jay-Z doesn't like Drake. So he basically did the opposite. He took Kendrick. Also, Kendrick Lamar. Yeah. They're just gonna make it to the Drake can never watch a Super Bowl again.

People who cannot figure out the ESPN/DirecTV dispute should be tried in the Supreme Court

The people that can't figure out the ESPN DirecTV shit should be tried in the Supreme Court. What do you mean? And possibly executed. They should all be tried tomorrow.

Adding UConn to the Big 12 would make it the greatest college basketball conference ever

The UConn Huskies are seems like they're trying to get into the Big 12... it also would make the Big 12 the greatest college basketball conference of all time. because it would, now you'd have Kansas, you'd have UConn, you'd have Arizona, like Cincinnati. It'd be just crazy college basketball.

LIV Golf should allow all steroids and make the tour totally rule-free

I was shocked to know that Liv had a steroid policy... You have no rules. You play golf with shorts. They should, if you're the Liv Tour, make everything legal. Have it be steroids, but golf. Tackling. Yes. And a football and pylons.

Team USA failing to medal in 3x3 basketball is a national disgrace

Our three on three basketball team got eliminated. Didn't medal... Disgraceful so bad... I don't even know. How the fuck is this possible? Also, why don't we just send our, why isn't Jalen Brown in three and three?

John Gruden is secretly advising the Chiefs and is effectively on their coaching staff

John Gruden was at Chiefs practice today... he was wearing a Chiefs uniform and he was advising Chiefs coaches. Whoa. So I think John Gruden might be secretly on the Chiefs' coaching staff now. He's like Mid-hat right now with the Chiefs.

The 2024 White Sox are a historically bad anomaly, worse than the 1940s Phillies

The Chicago White Sox who are on a 20 game losing streak... If you just erased their 14 game losing streak and their 20 game losing streak, they would still have the worst winning percentage in baseball this year... Only two managers in baseball history have at least 200 games managed for the same team, and a winning percentage under 333... Pedro Grifol and a guy named Dr. James Prothro, who managed the Phillies during World War II.

The Sherrone Moore NCAA text deletion scandal won't be a big deal in a week

He [Sherrone Moore] deleted a couple text messages in regard to Connor Stalions and his possible knowledge on the situation... 52 text messages... I don't think anyone's gonna talk about this in a week from now.

Michael Phelps ruined swimming for me because he was too dominant

Michael Phelps ruined swimming for me personally. Because he was so goddamn dominant that, and it happened so recently that I'm watching swimming and I'm like, well, Phelps would've beaten all these guys.

Team USA basketball winning gold isn't enough; they must dominate by 10+ points every game

I will not be celebrating a gold medal if we win the semi-finals—if the semi-finals or the finals games are within 10 points. Either of them. I will not be celebrating this gold medal. I want to see domination.

Offsides should be removed from soccer

Offsides should be taken out of soccer. There should be no offsides.

The winners of the John Deere Classic always stay in the same rental home in Illinois

For the last three years, each winner of the John Deere Classic has stayed in the same rental home in Illinois. Whoa. It's officially the trophy house. Davis Thompson, SEP Straka, JT Poston.

Clutch Sports trying to nitpick Michael Jordan's 1988 stats is a desperate admission of defeat in the GOAT debate

I don't understand how you can look at this and not be like, this is the pettiest saddest thing possible. If you have to try to tear down MJ to elevate LeBron, you've already lost in my opinion. If you have to go back in time and trying to nitpick stats, you're essentially admitting that you've lost.

Charles Barkley's retirement announcement is just a leverage play

I don't buy it. I don't buy it. I don't buy it. He's too good. That's just what you say at the end of the year. He's just doing, he's he's said a million different things. He's like, well maybe I'll just hire everyone and we'll have a new, we'll bring it over here. Maybe I'll retire. Maybe w he's just, I love Charles Barkley. I love, love, love Charles Barkley. I don't buy it. Charles Barkley could talk about anything on TV and I would watch. Yeah. It doesn't matter what it could be.

Bryson DeChambeau will win the U.S. Open as an homage to Payne Stewart

I think this is it for Bryson [DeChambeau]. If Bryson comes and wears, because remember he used to wear the scaly cap. Payne Stewart. I could see it happening. As a homage to Payne Stewart. I'll call my shot right now.

Tiger Woods definitely used HGH to come back from his injuries

Tiger If you ever wanna come on the podcast... did Tiger ever do do steroids? You think I Why doesn't it get talked about though? ... He definitely, it's just out of respect for him. Is it, is it deference? He definitely used it to come back from stuff for sure. ... I think he without a doubt a hundred percent used HGH to come back from injuries.

Oleksandr Usyk was the deserved winner over Tyson Fury

Tyson Fury lost, Usyk beat him in 12 rounds. It was an awesome fight... the right fighter won... Tyson Fury's in Deep Water because I knew he's the type of guy that if you're like Tyson Fury's done. Yeah. He'll come back and he'll just knock someone else out.

Rory McIlroy only wins the tournament immediately preceding a Major

Rory, I feel like he's the king of winning the championship right before Major. Then everyone talks about him. It's a major week. Rory's back. He's gonna win a major and then he like misses the cut. Rory fooling us about him being back.

Secretariat's records are fraudulent and he likely used steroids

Secretariat had 663 children... Guess how many of his kids won a Triple Crown race? The answer is zero... every mile time has gradually gotten better over the years except horse racing... He also lost a bunch of races... they had an excuse ready after every single loss... he had horse herpes and they blamed his loss on that... The more you look into Secretariat, the more it stinks to high heaven.

Flightline is the GOAT horse over Secretariat

I think we should as a podcast, we should say Flightline is our goat. Flightline was a horse that won the Breeders Cup two years ago... He raced six times and he just killed everyone... Casual fans will say Secretariat... Flightline, he was an incredible horse.

Kendrick Lamar is winning the beef because he is speaking for everyone who hates Drake

Drake is responding to Kendrick Lamar, but Kendrick Lamar is, the way he's dropping these things is basically he's speaking for a lot more people that just haven't said anything to Drake in a long time... It essentially talking for a bunch of people being like, we've been saying this shit behind your back.

J. Cole is the real winner of the Drake-Kendrick rap beef

The smartest person, the real winner of this entire beef is J. Cole because J. Cole was in it. And then he went on stage and he was like, no, I'm kind of a pussy so I don't want to do this. Smart. He's the goat for recognizing that he did not want to be anywhere involved in this.

MLB will fix the uniform lettering and sweat-wicking issues by the 2025 season

There was a report that came out that basically said Nike fucked up the uniforms. We're working to fix 'em. We're gonna get the bigger names in the back of the jerseys and everything should be fixed at the latest, at the start of the 2025 season.

Ryan Garcia is the new face of boxing

Garcia was awesome and he, he might be the new face of boxing 'cause he is, he's crazy. He's like the perfect amount of crazy fun to watch. Was throwing bombs... he's something else.

Nestor Cortes' fake pitch is awesome because of how much it bothers baseball traditionalists

I'm Now on Cortez's side. All right. I Now think it's an awesome pitch. I didn't [know] it made people that mad. So, I mean, there's no way this is actually like a strategy that could like [work]... I Now think it's an awesome pitch. If it makes people mad, that rules.

The Patriots should draft Marvin Harrison Jr. instead of a quarterback

I'm still down for Marvin Harrison Jr. No. One Bailey's Afro set. Yeah. There's plenty of fine quarterbacks out there. You have a franchise wide receiver who's a stud and can actually make things happen with a perfectly fine Jacob Brissett.

Mark Pope will succeed at Kentucky because nostalgia is a powerful drug

Kentucky basketball and Mark Pope. Yeah. I I'm with you. I think I'm be, I'm a believer in Mark Pope now. Nostalgia is a very powerful drug. Like I would just, if I were a Kentucky fan right now, I'd just be looking at pictures of Mark Pope and Rick Pitino and be like, this is, this is, we're going back. Sometimes you gotta go back.

The obsession with velocity is destroying MLB pitchers' arms

Everyone's obsessed with velocity... everyone just looking at the numbers being like, you gotta throw a hundred, you gotta throw a hundred. And arms are just getting pushed to this max at a early age and everyone's destroying their arms.

The US will be under a massive cyber attack sooner rather than later

I suggest you take out all your money outta your bank and stop using credit cards for the next few months until I can give you the green light again. We will be under a cyber attack sooner rather than later. Just looking out, I'm in communication with the very important person for one of, if not the biggest software companies in the world.

The eclipse and the CERN particle collider will send us into the fourth dimension

They're turning CERN on the day of the eclipse. And I believe the research is they're trying to reach a fourth dimension... Once the the moon covers the sun when it comes back, like we'll be in the fourth dimension. Like everything will be different.

Beyonce's 'Jolene' cover is not good and should be skipped

Beyonce's Jolene sucks. That's, she covered it on this album. She did it. And it's a skip. Oh, it's a big skip. It's skip. It's not good. Boy.

Spring football (UFL) will never be relevant because the sports calendar is too crowded

I'm, I've never been more confident in my take that spring football. I just don't care. I, I feel very good about that because I've, every, every few years they try to pop one up and be like, you should care. I respect the sports calendar more than anything. This is March Madness. This is gonna be masters. This is gonna be NBA and NHL playoffs. Football is king. I love football more than anything, but not spring football.

The USMNT must reach the World Cup quarterfinals in 2026 or it is a massive disappointment.

I'm still, I'm staying my prediction that we need to make it, if we don't make it to at least the quarter finals in the next World Cup. Massive disappointment.

Caitlin Clark currently faces ten times more hate than Duke.

I don't even know how, how people have found this much hate in their heart for [Caitlin Clark] again. She she has like Duke Times 10 hate. Yeah. It's crazy.

Michigan basketball will return to prominence quickly under Dusty May.

Recurring guest Dusty May is going from FAU to Ann Arbor... I think they're gonna be back quickly.

Joe Lunardi hates his job and should be replaced by Steve Kornacki

Joe Lunardi has to work three weeks a year and he said goodnight at 10:57 during conference championship week on Friday night when there was like six games left. What is up with this guy?... What he needs to realize is that with one snap of the fingers that freak Steve Kornacki could step into his job and do it better.

Engagement parties for men are 'a joke' and 'bullshit'

Engagement Party's a joke guy for guys. For guys. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fucking joke. Engagement party is the most optional thing in the world. Engagement party is a fucking bullshit thing that no one should even have or be invited to.

AI and Hawkeye technology for NFL first downs will make the sport less fun

I don't like it at all. ... People are always like, oh, we're we're measuring like this billion dollar industry with a chain and sticks held by old retired guys on the sideline. Yeah. That's part of why it rocks. ... If you put AI into sports and you make robot umps and robot referees, you are depriving men of somewhere between 50 and 75% of the conversations they have with each other. ... What the fuck are we gonna talk about?

Sydney Sweeney is bringing back the era of 'tits' over 'asses'

My who's back of the week is Sydney Sweeney. She was on SNL. ... People are saying, is Sidney Sweeney bringing back tits? Well, there's been don don't know. What would you say? A decade run where asses have been number one. ... We might look back in history and be like, when did Tits come back? Sidney Sweeney.

Flaco the Owl was likely murdered and didn't just die from a building collision

It says he didn't break any bones, but he sustained massive hemorrhaging inside his body. This seems like somebody else had a hand in it. We need to check the flight logs. Was Flaco on the list? This Owl probably had information that would've led to the arrest and subsequent conviction of Hillary Clinton.

The 'pregnant' stingray Charlotte isn't actually pregnant and is just fat

Charlotte, the pregnant Stingray has still not given birth, which makes me think this might be a publicity stunt... if a shark had relations with a female Stingray who is pregnant even though she hasn't seen a male stingray in eight years... we need a conclusion to this. Otherwise she's just fat.

Mark Zuckerberg is an animal and would defeat everyone on the PMT crew in a fight

Zuck is a beast... Zuck would take us down. I hate to say it but kind of an animal. He gets smoked and he... yeah.

The Waterdogs are doomed for the regular season if they win the PLL preseason tournament

I don't wanna win that. I don't wanna win the pre-season tournament. I think if we win the pre-season tournament, we're screwed for the regular season.

Ludacris should have a 'Lud Bowl' halftime show performing all his features

I think that they should do a Lud Bowl halftime show where it's Ludacris. It goes out and he performs like all of his features with all the other artists that have had him on their songs.

The Waste Management Phoenix Open should remain a drunken chaos event

This is what the Waste Management is and I always had the feeling that golfers begrudgingly said, like, we love it... don't try to change it. I want more. I want guys getting stronger, stealing golf clubs and shit.

I was right about Brittany Mahomes being attractive

I want to just all due respect, Patrick, you've won... your wife is hot. And I would say that his wife is very attractive. Good job. I got this one right.

The Enhanced Games (steroid Olympics) will be better than the actual Olympics

I'm going to watch hard. ... That sounds way better than the regular Olympics. ... They're starting the Olympic games where every contestant's gonna be allowed to dope, which means we're gonna get all kinds of crazy records. We have a bunch of freaks running around out there.

Robbie Avila will be a breakout star if Indiana State makes the NCAA Tournament

Robbie Avila from Indiana State. ... He's got rec specs. And he is, if Indiana State gets to the tournament, which they are the best team in the Missouri Valley right now. We could have like a, this, this guy could like, capture the hearts of America.

Indiana is scared to play Indiana State in basketball

Do you know that Indiana state, Indiana doesn't play Indiana state because they just embarrassed him every time they play him. Indiana State, I think last time they played 'em was like 2017 and they won by like 20. Damn. So Indiana's just scared of 'em.