Takes

The Bengals will be a good value this year

I'm also buying the Bengals this year. I think this is the perfect year for the Bengals to get Marvin Lewis another seven years. Joe Mixon, John Ross, A.J. Green, I actually think they're going to score points.

The Over 45 is a lock for the Titans-Dolphins game

For my over, I'm going with Tennessee and Miami. So it's at 45. Mike Vrabel... you always got to go with a new head coach because you don't have anything on film for him. They're getting away from the exotic smash mouth... so you can't score any fewer points than you did with Mike Malarkey. So I like Tennessee-Miami.

The Under 42.5 is the lock for the Jaguars-Giants game

I'm going to take the Jags-Giants under, 42.5. I think the Giants are going to try to run a lot. I think both teams are going to run a lot, so we're going to get one of those weird games where it's like 10-7 going into the fourth quarter, and there's only been 12 passes.

The Buccaneers will cover +9.5 against the Saints

For my underdog I'm going with the Buccaneers... They're plus nine and a half at New Orleans. This is one of the situations where every bone in my body says to take New Orleans so I'm going to fade myself and I'm going with the Buccaneers.

The Ravens will cover -7.5 against the Bills

The Bills are going to be very, very bad until they start Josh Allen. I'm going to take the Ravens. It's a heavy line, seven and a half. But I just feel like this is, this Bills offensive line has holes... I think the Ravens, John Harbaugh, he always wins week one.

The Over 48 in the Chiefs-Chargers game is money in the bank

I've got my super secret double lock with an over. It's such a good pick that I didn't even feel good telling you about it during the normal segment because it's basically money in the bank. Kansas City and the Chargers over. 48 points. Take it. Smell it.

I am not a Patrick Mahomes guy

I want to be on the record that I am not a Mahomes guy. Okay. Put me on the record. Put me in the history books.

NFL owners should pay for their own stadiums without taxpayer money.

The owners should pay for their own fucking stadium. A segment that we'll throw out there... If the taxpayers pay for the stadium, they get to decide the rules. No laws inside the stadium. Anything you want.

The US will win the 2018 World Cup

I'm going with the U.S... They could still come back. You never count the U.S. out until they're totally out.

Uruguay will win the 2018 World Cup

I'll take Uruguay. Luis Suarez. I actually put a little money on that, so we'll see how that goes.

The Bucks might sweep the Celtics in the first round

Bucks are maybe even going to sweep the Celtics.

I am rooting for LeBron to get to the Finals just so he can lose for a 10th time

I'm rooting for the Cavs in the Eastern Conference this year... Because I want LeBron to lose again in the finals. I want the losses. I have the dream in my mind, the dream that Hank spoke out loud last year when he's like, what if LeBron ends up losing 10 NBA finals? So I am all in on the Cavs up until the finals.

The Warriors will beat the Cavs in the Finals in only three games

I'm going Cavs-Warriors again, and the Warriors win in three games.

The OKC Thunder are not a super team and Carmelo Anthony is trash

I do not give a fuck about the Oklahoma City Thunder. I do not care that they have three quote-unquote superstars because Melo is trash. Paul George and Russ Westbrook are still very, very good, but they are not going to beat anyone. Even if they win their first series, they're not going to do anything. It's like this thing that happens to everyone's brain where they see a couple of splashy names on a team together and they say super team. They don't let them get in a series. They could beat anyone. They could not beat anyone. They're not good.

Josh Allen will be the number one overall pick in the 2018 NFL Draft

We now have a place for all you Josh Allen fans out there to learn more about Josh Allen at draftjoshallen.com. I, for one, feel bullish about where we're going with this website... [Mel Kiper] putting Josh Allen at number one on his big board. Twice, though.

The Olympics starting events before the opening ceremony is total 'bullshit'

Why does curling start before everything else? They really need that much time to do curling? ... So they don't light the torch, but they play the Olympics. It's bullshit. So-called bullshit.

Josh Allen will be out of the NFL by 2020

My number one overall pick in the XFL draft is Josh Allen. Quarterback Wyoming... And he won't be in the league [NFL] by 2020.

The Patriots are a bigger lock this week than they were last week and they'll hit the Over

I'm going to take the Patriots. I'm going to say that they're more of a lock this week than they were last week... I would take the over. I probably won't, but I'm just going to load up on the Patriots.

I'm taking the Jaguars and the Under against the Patriots

After I thought about it for a while, I'm going to take the Jaguars in the under.

I like the Vikings and the Over in the NFC Championship

I like the Vikings, and I like the over. Over-under is 39... I think there's going to be a couple big plays that are just random.

The Vikings will win the NFC Championship but the game will go Under

I'm going to take the Vikings, but I'm going to take the under. I like Philly's defense, I think, a little bit more than you.

I'm taking the Eagles and the Under against the Vikings

I like the Eagles and I like the under, but I want the Eagles to lose in a heartbreaker just so we can get a bunch of drunk Philadelphians walking around with dog masks all night.

The Chargers were the best team to not make the playoffs in 2017

The Chargers were the best team to not make the playoffs. Absolutely were... They had a better DVOA than the Ravens. They were a better team than the Ravens.

Lock of the Week: Jaguars -4.5 vs 49ers

I have the Jags. Blake Bortles. [The spread] is four and a half, by the way. Minus four and a half.

Lock of the Week: Chiefs -10 vs Dolphins

I'm going to take the Chiefs. I think the Chiefs have figured it out. Minus 10 Dolphins in Kansas City. Dolphins already won the Super Bowl. Beat the Patriots on Monday night. So this is all just gravy.

The Packers will beat the Browns by double digits in Week 14

I think this is prime. Oh, wow. You want to put a lock on it? Yeah. It is now. ... I'm going to take the Packers. This is where they start their run, and they're going to piss everybody off, and then they're going to win a playoff game.

The Browns will beat the Packers in Week 14

I'm going to lock back on you. I'm going to take the Browns. ... Oh, fuck. Your last name's Lockwood. That makes your locks. Double lock. ... I'm locked up. All you listeners out there, go with Hank.

The Jaguars will beat the Seahawks and prove they are for real

I'm just going to call it right now. The Jaguars are going to beat the Seahawks at home. And then afterwards, you know what the big talk of the town is going to be? ... These Jags are for real.

The Chiefs are a lock to cover -10.5 against the Giants because Andy Reid never loses coming off a bye

I am taking the Chiefs. Minus 10.5 on the road against the Giants. ... Anytime you have the opportunity to bet on a 10.5-point road favorite, you have to take it. ... Also, Andy Reid coming off of a bye week. We all know about that. Always wins. Always wins big.

The Chargers will be the best team to not make the playoffs this season

I'm taking the Chargers, minus four, the best team to not make the playoffs. ... I stand by that. They have an unbelievable pass rush. Phil Rivers, they almost win every single game. They're going to be the best team that doesn't make the playoffs.

The Packers will run Brett Hundley 45 times on RPOs against the Bears

The Packers ran one RPO where Brett Hundley kept the ball and ran on Monday Night Football, and it worked for like 10 yards. They're going to do that like 45 times. And they're going to be like, oh, Brett Hundley can run a little, so we'll just run the ball.

The Buccaneers are on the verge of quitting on Dirk Koetter

I think the Bucs are pretty close to quitting on their coach. Dirk Koetter with his weird librarian glasses and a fake name and his Brillo pad hair.

I'm taking the Giants +3.5 at home against the Rams

I'm taking the Giants at home, plus three and a half against our man's Jared Goff. This is just one of those situations where you take the worst team you can find if they're home dogs.

I'm taking the Redskins +7 against the Seahawks

I'm going to go with the R-Words. The Washington R-Words. It looks like a trap to me, but I am also a sucker. I like to just walk into those traps and get clanked up by the bear traps... Seahawks. Plus seven.

I'm taking the Broncos +8 on the road against the Eagles

I'm going with the Denver Broncos. Plus eight in Philadelphia. That's one of those games where you just look at it and you're like, this is the dumbest pick ever, so that's why it might win.

The Chargers' game against New England is a trap game for the Patriots

I'm going with the Chargers... on the road against New England. This is a trap game for New England. I don't really know what trap game means, but when you say it's a trap game, you sound smart.

The Bills are a max bet -2.5 against the Raiders

Bills minus two and a half against the Raiders. How does that make sense? In Buffalo, the Raiders have to go all the way to, and the Bills are coming off a bye... I'm taking the Bills, max bet.

I'm taking the Packers +4.5 at home against the Saints

I'm taking the Packers. Ooh, okay, I like that. Plus four and a half at home. Everyone loves the Saints. The Saints... Be careful, my friends.

I'm taking the Eagles at home against the Redskins

I'm going to go with the Eagles at home against the R-Words. Ooh, Monday night.

Instant replay should be abolished in sports

I think we should actually get rid of instant replay. All together, just give it all the power back to the refs and the umps... I feel like I watch instant replays more than I watch sports now.

Cam Newton stinks again

Cam Newton stinks again. Well, that's not entirely true. Okay. He kind of stinks. He likes to go up and down. I feel like when Cam, when everyone's like, ooh, Cam's putting it all together. He's like, hey, guys, watch this. Hey, hold my avocado. Watch this. Because he's a millennial. He's going to fucking just throw three interceptions and look like trash.

Mitchell Trubisky and the Bears will cover +6.5 against the Ravens

Taking our boy, Mitchell. Mitchell Trubisky. Plus six and a half... The Bears, are we sure they're bad with Mitchell Trubisky? This is a breakout game. They've covered the spread.

The 49ers will cover +10.5 against the Redskins

I learned my lesson. I'm not going to take any D.C. teams, so I'm taking the 49ers to cover double digits [against the Redskins]. They're due.

The Steelers will cover +4.5 against the Chiefs

I'm going to do the rat line of the week, the wonky game of the week. I'm taking the Steelers plus 4.5 [against the Chiefs]. It makes no sense... Vegas doesn't know what to do about that.

I love the Packers moneyline and spread against the Cowboys

Love, love, love the Packers. Plus two. I love Moneyline. I love them straight up... Love the spread, love the money line.

I love the 49ers as +1.5 road dogs against the Colts

My pick, I'm taking the 49ers as Road Dogs plus 1.5 over Indy. That's my team... Love the Niners. Love betting on them. Love Shanahan. Yep. I mostly just love betting against Chuck Pagano in his permanent hot seat.

The Cleveland Browns will win at least two games this season

Could the Browns go two and 14? The Browns could... they could win two games... I'm going to cross my mind on the Will They Win 4 games, but two games? Still could do it.

Lock of the Week: Ravens +3 at home against the Steelers

I'm going to go with the Baltimore Ravens. Home dogs. Plus three. ... If I know Joe Flacco, and I know him pretty well, this is one of the weeks that he comes out and he has like three touchdowns and 320 yards.

Lock of the Week: Rams +6 and outright win vs. Cowboys

I like the Los Angeles Rams, plus six. I think they're going to win that game outright. [They are playing] the Cowboys.

Lock of the Week: Jaguars -3 vs. Jets

I'm going to go with the Jaguars. Minus three. In New York. ... I think Blake Bortles, there's no way he can regress. I think he finally took the step forward and he'll never take a step back again.